G-Girl | Matt Connarton Unleashed

0:00 Speaker 1: And we have entered our number three New Marrow trace

0:02 Speaker 1: of Matt Connerton unleashed. For those of you listening live,

0:06 Speaker 1: it is a Saturday, February twenty one, twenty twenty six,

0:10 Speaker 1: and we are from the studios of wm NH ninety

0:13 Speaker 1: five point three FM and Glorious Manchester, New Hampshire, the

0:17 Speaker 1: winter wonderland that it is. And of course you can

0:19 Speaker 1: stream the show from anywhere but to Matt connorton dot com,

0:22 Speaker 1: slash live for all of your live streaming options, social

0:25 Speaker 1: media links, contact Infox, show archives, et cetera, et cetera,

0:28 Speaker 1: and right now joining us here in studio, let's see

0:33 Speaker 1: there we go. We have g girls here.

0:35 Speaker 2: Yes, Hi, how you doing met?

0:37 Speaker 1: Yeah, very well, very well. It's been also known as

0:41 Speaker 1: Jackie Brown of course on social media. We were talking

0:44 Speaker 1: off air. Actually pull that pull that mic down just

0:46 Speaker 1: a little bit. Yeah, yeah, that's probably good. We were

0:49 Speaker 1: talking off air. It's been like three Has it really

0:51 Speaker 1: been three years since you've been on with us?

0:53 Speaker 2: Yes? Three years?

0:54 Speaker 1: Definitely, my god, yeah, because I do remember the last

0:58 Speaker 1: time you were here. It was at the old when

0:59 Speaker 1: we were on Elm Street. Yes, at the old place.

1:02 Speaker 1: And so this is pretty nice. You like the you

1:04 Speaker 1: like the new, uh or well, I spent a couple

1:07 Speaker 1: of years now, but it's it's still it does still

1:09 Speaker 1: feel new.

1:10 Speaker 2: The only thing I miss is the signature on the

1:12 Speaker 2: wall right right. Hopefully we could bring that back on

1:15 Speaker 2: something like maybe on a poster board or something like

1:18 Speaker 2: that or yeah, you never know, or like a banner

1:20 Speaker 2: or something that just have every every artist or someone

1:24 Speaker 2: that comes in here, your guests and sign on there.

1:27 Speaker 2: But I missed that. But otherwise this is a great location.

1:30 Speaker 2: Congratulations match for lessons on blessings. I known you for years, yes,

1:34 Speaker 2: like sixteen seventeen years, actually more than that, Jess.

1:37 Speaker 1: The time goes so quick two thousand and eight. Yeah,

1:41 Speaker 1: you notice as we get older too, it goes faster

1:43 Speaker 1: and faster.

1:43 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, flash of my eye.

1:45 Speaker 1: Yeah, I find that element rather unpleasant. I would like

1:47 Speaker 1: time to slow down.

1:49 Speaker 2: Yeah. When you're a kid, you're like, oh, it takes

1:51 Speaker 2: so long to get oh, I know, birthday and this

1:54 Speaker 2: and that, and nowadays.

1:55 Speaker 1: It's like when you're like, when you're a kid, like

1:58 Speaker 1: when summer starts, it seems I could just last forever,

2:01 Speaker 1: you know, but but I I know that. I mean

2:04 Speaker 1: a lot of it obviously is perception and it's psychological.

2:06 Speaker 1: But I did read something a number of years ago

2:08 Speaker 1: that there's a theory that there might actually be something

2:11 Speaker 1: It's not just psychological, but there might literally be something

2:14 Speaker 1: neurochemical that happens in our brain as we get older

2:17 Speaker 1: that alters our perception of time.

2:19 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I have to check that out.

2:21 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it. You know, it might all be bs.

2:23 Speaker 1: Who knows.

2:24 Speaker 2: But well, I had four concussions, so I'm like nervous

2:27 Speaker 2: because all the doctors are scaring me. I just actually

2:31 Speaker 2: I got injured about a month ago.

2:33 Speaker 1: So oh, sorry to hear that. Yeah, why have you

2:35 Speaker 1: had four concussions?

2:37 Speaker 2: Well, different reasons, car accidents. I got injured on the

2:40 Speaker 2: bus recently, about January ninth.

2:44 Speaker 1: You got injured on a bus.

2:45 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh well, we can't really talk about it, but

2:48 Speaker 2: you know, I'm just saying I got injured really bad. Okay,

2:53 Speaker 2: and long, shorty short, I've had four concussions, okay, and

2:57 Speaker 2: this was my fourth one. But I guess more concussions

3:00 Speaker 2: you have, you can get that brain disease.

3:03 Speaker 1: Well boxes CTE.

3:05 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so I'm ski can you? Yeah?

3:09 Speaker 1: We are We are on an eight second delay. So

3:11 Speaker 1: if the worst happens, I can catch it.

3:13 Speaker 2: Okay, I'll try not. I'll be pleasant today.

3:15 Speaker 1: Thank you, welcome.

3:18 Speaker 2: But yeah, it's it's a scary situation because you know,

3:22 Speaker 2: you think of a concussion you hit, you've hailed from

3:24 Speaker 2: a different concussion. Yeah, and then now it's like whoa,

3:29 Speaker 2: your brain is like delayed a little bit. I still

3:32 Speaker 2: have swelling and things like that. But it's crazy how

3:36 Speaker 2: life can change out of a second.

3:39 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, one hundred. So last night, because Friday nights,

3:44 Speaker 1: I'm here for Retrospectrum Radio with poly C and I'm

3:47 Speaker 1: one of the people on that show. And we also

3:49 Speaker 1: have a gentleman named Brooklyn Mike. H Brooklyn Mike if

3:51 Speaker 1: you're listening, and uh, he was here and he was

3:55 Speaker 1: very excited when we mentioned because Paul always gives me

3:57 Speaker 1: a chance to plug what the show is going to

3:58 Speaker 1: be Saturday morning, And he was very excited when I

4:01 Speaker 1: mentioned you were going to be on because he remembers you,

4:03 Speaker 1: Oh yes, from your previous appearances on the show.

4:05 Speaker 2: Yes, tell him myself. Hello, if you're tuning in, Hello

4:08 Speaker 2: to you. Ye, too bad you're not here with us,

4:10 Speaker 2: But yeah, next time we'll have to plan it out

4:12 Speaker 2: that you're on with Matt.

4:14 Speaker 1: That would be cool, That would be cool. Yeah, he's

4:16 Speaker 1: he's been on the show a few times recently. But

4:20 Speaker 1: I also, so your show, the Icy Show, we should

4:23 Speaker 1: talk about that. And I'm not saying this to be funny.

4:26 Speaker 1: This is literally true. I had an epiphany this morning

4:30 Speaker 1: because it finally occurred to me. So I had never

4:34 Speaker 1: understood why you spell it the way you spell it.

4:38 Speaker 1: I see see why I never understood that. And it

4:42 Speaker 1: finally dawned on me this morning. And it happened while

4:45 Speaker 1: I'm looking at you. Your your name on messenger Jackie Brown,

4:50 Speaker 1: and I'm like, wait a minute, she spells Jackie with

4:52 Speaker 1: two c's. Yes, that has to be the reason. Yes,

4:55 Speaker 1: And it's been I don't know, I can't remember again,

4:57 Speaker 1: you know, talking about time and perception. I don't know

5:00 Speaker 1: know how many years it's been now that you've been

5:01 Speaker 1: doing that show, because it's all everything becomes a blur.

5:04 Speaker 1: But it finally occurred to me literally this morning. I

5:07 Speaker 1: was like, oh, I get it.

5:10 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And the reason why I have two seas

5:14 Speaker 2: it's because of my name and also because I own

5:19 Speaker 2: my show. Yeah, so someone already had it. I see why.

5:23 Speaker 2: So that's why I had to change it with the

5:25 Speaker 2: two seeds. Okay, I could have did it different ways,

5:29 Speaker 2: but that's the way I wanted to go with the Jackie.

5:31 Speaker 1: Yeah.

5:32 Speaker 2: Shout out to DZ the gift mass of Hustle Records.

5:35 Speaker 2: He gave me my name, so salute to him. Definitely.

5:37 Speaker 2: I got to give the shout outs, definitely because that's

5:41 Speaker 2: the reason why. And my show's been around, will be

5:44 Speaker 2: eight years this June second.

5:45 Speaker 1: Eight years. Wow.

5:46 Speaker 2: Yes, and I've done over seven and twenty interviews local

5:50 Speaker 2: and international.

5:52 Speaker 1: Yep.

5:52 Speaker 2: I'm trying to be like you, Matt on my role model.

5:56 Speaker 1: Thank you.

5:58 Speaker 2: Yeah.

5:58 Speaker 1: Jenny was on with you recently.

6:00 Speaker 2: Yes, she was on The Icy Show about a week

6:03 Speaker 2: and a half ago and we talked about how, you know,

6:08 Speaker 2: with the insurance not paying for medicine when people need

6:11 Speaker 2: medicine and people are dying because they can't afford medicine.

6:16 Speaker 2: I was at someone's house in New York last week

6:18 Speaker 2: and she needed her insulin, and you know, it's crazy

6:22 Speaker 2: because her sugar's going high and she can't get her insulent.

6:28 Speaker 2: And that was a different state, so every state is different.

6:31 Speaker 2: What's going on in this world with the difference with

6:35 Speaker 2: the medications and you know what you need to have,

6:39 Speaker 2: and you know, what about the people that have asthma,

6:41 Speaker 2: what about the people that have cancer, you know, that

6:43 Speaker 2: need to be on a medication for life and stuff

6:46 Speaker 2: and they can't afford it. And it's like, it's crazy,

6:50 Speaker 2: it's sad. It's sad, And I'm glad Jenny's doing. Shout

6:54 Speaker 2: out to Jenny if you're tuning in, definitely, because where

6:59 Speaker 2: I see her about two years ago to where she's

7:01 Speaker 2: that now, she looks amazing and I'm so proud of her,

7:05 Speaker 2: and I'm glad she finally found, you know, a cure

7:08 Speaker 2: for her. But she shouldn't have to be suffering like that.

7:11 Speaker 1: Well there's no there's no cure. I mean, if you're

7:13 Speaker 1: talking about the complex uh sorry, complex pain complex regional

7:18 Speaker 1: pain syndrome. Sorry, there's no cure for that. So all

7:22 Speaker 1: she can all she can really do is manage it.

7:24 Speaker 1: But she is. But she is managing it. Well oh yeah, yeah,

7:26 Speaker 1: it's amazing. Yeah. Yeah, she doesn't let it stop her

7:28 Speaker 1: or slow her down or anything.

7:30 Speaker 2: Keep on doing those rallies out.

7:31 Speaker 1: There, yeah, absolutely.

7:34 Speaker 2: Oh, stay safe, she's.

7:35 Speaker 1: Doing great things and she's gonna be going to to

7:38 Speaker 1: DC on Monday, and.

7:39 Speaker 2: Yeah, they travel safe travel.

7:42 Speaker 1: She's doing a lot. Yeah, So tell us more about

7:46 Speaker 1: the show, because obviously, I mean I think you you

7:49 Speaker 1: probably interview people in the music industry more than anything.

7:52 Speaker 2: Right, yes, some business owners too.

7:55 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well, well tell us about like who who

7:57 Speaker 1: are some of the people you've interviewed, and and and why,

8:01 Speaker 1: like how do you how do you decide who you

8:02 Speaker 1: want to have on the show and all that.

8:04 Speaker 2: I try to give everybody an opportunity to be on

8:07 Speaker 2: my show. You know, I believe everybody deserves a chance

8:12 Speaker 2: to be on a show if they can. Yeah, and

8:17 Speaker 2: my show is for you to expand and meet other people.

8:22 Speaker 2: That's why it's local international. Started with seven people following me,

8:25 Speaker 2: and now I got a salute to everyone that follows me.

8:29 Speaker 2: My whole team with worldwide collaboration. I'm with Legal Mob Entertainment.

8:35 Speaker 2: And also you know, I have my own assistance. I

8:38 Speaker 2: got Diamond and Red Ruby and also on my street teams.

8:43 Speaker 2: So okay, you know, it's like I have to give

8:46 Speaker 2: them a shut out because if it wasn't for them

8:49 Speaker 2: to believe in me and keep on growing and DJ slimebugs.

8:53 Speaker 2: My co hosts for Bible studies. We do Bible studies

8:55 Speaker 2: on Sunday for the children. It's just something.

8:58 Speaker 1: Little.

8:59 Speaker 2: My son is the one that started with me being

9:01 Speaker 2: my co host and then we he did one hundred episodes.

9:06 Speaker 2: That was his promise to God when he got baptized,

9:09 Speaker 2: and I was thankful. I was hoping he would keep

9:11 Speaker 2: on going. But you know it's time consuming because he

9:13 Speaker 2: is to study and everything. But my pastor, Minister Thomas,

9:19 Speaker 2: doctor Minister Thomas, he believes in my son. He really

9:23 Speaker 2: thinks he could see my son being a minister or pastor.

9:26 Speaker 2: I don't know about that right now, but he's going

9:29 Speaker 2: through some things. But that's every teenager. You know, he'll

9:32 Speaker 2: be sixteen. Imagine that, Matt. Remember when we were at

9:36 Speaker 2: your show when I found out I was pregnant with

9:39 Speaker 2: my son.

9:40 Speaker 1: We'll come back to that.

9:41 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a great story and I always think about that.

9:46 Speaker 2: But my show is basically about everyone that has something

9:50 Speaker 2: positive going and even people that are in jailing and

9:53 Speaker 2: then never coming home. They've been on my show too,

9:56 Speaker 2: and you know they they they said that they're innocent.

9:59 Speaker 2: You know, even though the trial is over, they's never

10:02 Speaker 2: coming home, and so you know, my show is to

10:05 Speaker 2: give everybody that chance. Like even I have another show

10:09 Speaker 2: that's going to be coming out Ice. It's the icy

10:11 Speaker 2: show Lost Angels. It's about if you have a lost

10:16 Speaker 2: someone you lost and you didn't you know, when you're

10:19 Speaker 2: at the casket and you wish you could talk to

10:21 Speaker 2: that person, but whish to really talk out loud instead

10:24 Speaker 2: of you just sitting there and crying, and you know,

10:27 Speaker 2: you want that last closure. So my show was to

10:30 Speaker 2: have that last closure with that loved one that they lost.

10:35 Speaker 2: At start, it was it should have been out. I

10:37 Speaker 2: did the first episode. I haven't seen you a lot, Matt.

10:43 Speaker 2: There's a lot to catch up with you, but I

10:46 Speaker 2: don't know. De Z's brother passed away. Yeah, it was

10:51 Speaker 2: three years ago. And that was my brother. That was

10:53 Speaker 2: my ace, my everything, Like he was my like it's

10:57 Speaker 2: I cried for three hundred and sixty five days when

11:00 Speaker 2: he died, every single day. And he was the only

11:05 Speaker 2: one that believed in my show and believed in me

11:09 Speaker 2: even when he was behind bars, when he was in

11:13 Speaker 2: jail fighting for his life, and he would contact me

11:17 Speaker 2: to make sure that I keep on going. I don't

11:19 Speaker 2: have that motivation anymore, that someone that really believes in me,

11:23 Speaker 2: like that you could trust on everything, your life on

11:26 Speaker 2: the line, you know, and it's hard to come around

11:32 Speaker 2: those type of people, real solid people. So that took

11:37 Speaker 2: me for a toll because I lost my female ace

11:41 Speaker 2: and my male ace, So that broke my heart in pieces.

11:46 Speaker 2: And I was actually going to stop my icy show,

11:50 Speaker 2: but I had people contacted me because I did a

11:52 Speaker 2: post saying that I was going to stop it, and

11:54 Speaker 2: they said, no, you got to keep on going no

11:58 Speaker 2: matter what you're going through. And you know, I could

12:03 Speaker 2: keep on hearing him say to me, gee, girl, you

12:08 Speaker 2: better not give up. If you give up, like he's

12:11 Speaker 2: motivating me on things that like, you know, I've done

12:15 Speaker 2: for people, but to really have it back with real

12:18 Speaker 2: love and showing that they're out to help you succeed,

12:23 Speaker 2: not out for themselves. That's real rear to find those

12:30 Speaker 2: type of people. And that's why I went to go

12:33 Speaker 2: see him in jail. I went to I bailed him out.

12:38 Speaker 2: You know, he lived with me. He's a good solid

12:41 Speaker 2: person that had my back no matter what I was

12:43 Speaker 2: going through divorce, crying on the shoulder when nobody was there,

12:50 Speaker 2: you know, like yeah, real, real, real life stuff. But

12:56 Speaker 2: not to have that anymore, I needed to come out

12:59 Speaker 2: with the show I felt like for my two aces,

13:06 Speaker 2: because I know there's a lot of people out there

13:08 Speaker 2: that have lost a lot of people and they're getting

13:11 Speaker 2: younger and younger, and I want my platform to be

13:15 Speaker 2: for them to release that. But I wasn't strong enough

13:19 Speaker 2: because my show came out right before my brother died.

13:22 Speaker 2: I did his mother's She lost two of her children,

13:27 Speaker 2: one to that was my brother and the other one

13:31 Speaker 2: was too. Her daughter got stabbed, so she talked about

13:37 Speaker 2: it on my show, so I made that's my aunt.

13:39 Speaker 2: So I made her the first episode because she told

13:44 Speaker 2: me I should do something like that, and I was like,

13:46 Speaker 2: you know what I'm going to. But then when I

13:48 Speaker 2: lost my brother, I was numb for three hundred and

13:54 Speaker 2: sixty five days, like I didn't know if I was

13:56 Speaker 2: coming or going, and going through a lot of stuff.

13:59 Speaker 2: But I kept my show going because I kept hearing

14:02 Speaker 2: him say it. And that's why with that new show,

14:05 Speaker 2: it's dedicating for people that lost the loved ones. So

14:08 Speaker 2: that will be coming out soon and then the Icy show.

14:11 Speaker 2: It's here to stay as long as I keep on

14:14 Speaker 2: having people on the show, artists and things like that.

14:17 Speaker 2: Like tomorrow we have a music show I'm a Judge.

14:20 Speaker 2: It's in Massachusetts. To come out, it's at eight pm.

14:24 Speaker 2: It's ten dollars to get in. Shout to Loudhouse that

14:27 Speaker 2: put it together. So yeah, it's just you know, keep

14:32 Speaker 2: on growing, Matt, That's what it is about it. And

14:35 Speaker 2: you know, life it's flashing my eyes. So we have

14:38 Speaker 2: to keep on doing what we want. And like the acting.

14:41 Speaker 2: You know, I remember coming on your show when we

14:43 Speaker 2: had the red carpet event. Yeah, so I've done a

14:47 Speaker 2: lot more acting, different movie clips. I was in Detroit

14:52 Speaker 2: and a couple of things.

14:53 Speaker 1: So wow.

14:54 Speaker 2: Yeah, I like the acting. So if you need an actress,

14:57 Speaker 2: let me know on a short film or something. Definitely

15:00 Speaker 2: that I feel like that's my passion.

15:02 Speaker 1: Oh really okay, interesting.

15:04 Speaker 2: Yeah I never thought that, but yeah, yeah, definitely.

15:09 Speaker 1: There's something really interesting you mentioned about interviewing people who

15:12 Speaker 1: are in prison, who are you know, not getting out,

15:15 Speaker 1: they're not coming home. How do how does that work logistically? Like?

15:18 Speaker 1: Is that is that challenging to set that up where

15:21 Speaker 1: they're gonna be I assume they're going to be on

15:23 Speaker 1: a phone talking to you like, how do how does

15:27 Speaker 1: is that hard to work out?

15:32 Speaker 2: Well, they have a they have laptops, some have cell phones. Yeah,

15:38 Speaker 2: it's all different. But yeah, I mean they they were

15:42 Speaker 2: showing me stuff on the interview that was crazy, like

15:46 Speaker 2: they could pop their just sell like that. So they

15:52 Speaker 2: were showing things that the world isn't aware of, about

15:57 Speaker 2: things that are happening in prisons. Yeah, and they showed it.

16:01 Speaker 2: It was live on the show. And it's like, I

16:04 Speaker 2: wasn't expecting that, and I even said, whatever happens on

16:07 Speaker 2: this episode, I'm not responsible. I didn't know. You know,

16:11 Speaker 2: these lifers aren't coming home, and so it's like they

16:13 Speaker 2: don't even get an opportunity. They were saying people that

16:17 Speaker 2: their family is supposed to write to them or show

16:20 Speaker 2: or put canteen. They don't even so they have to

16:22 Speaker 2: figure out a way inside to survive. And it's sad

16:26 Speaker 2: and you know, you think about I've seen something about

16:31 Speaker 2: the news yesterday about cancer is rising in the jails,

16:37 Speaker 2: and then you think about it. It's the food. The

16:40 Speaker 2: food is not healthy, and I don't understand why they

16:43 Speaker 2: don't turn around and make like it's simple. You know,

16:48 Speaker 2: we have indoor greenhouses, make it in every single jail.

16:53 Speaker 2: Make it a job for one of the prisoners. Then

16:56 Speaker 2: it's money being you know, circulated, and then maintain in it,

17:01 Speaker 2: and you know it's healthier for them. I guarantee the

17:04 Speaker 2: cancer will go down. I'm not a medical doctor, but

17:09 Speaker 2: I feel in my heart, just like the school lunches,

17:12 Speaker 2: if you switch it to healthiness or healthier per se,

17:16 Speaker 2: what your the ingredients are not artificial. I feel in

17:19 Speaker 2: my heart, old school, like my grandmother taught me, old

17:28 Speaker 2: school ways are better. Less ingredients. You're using natural herbs,

17:33 Speaker 2: you're not prosper Everything process process, everything's processed. And I

17:39 Speaker 2: didn't even know when I was growing up. I'll be

17:41 Speaker 2: forty eight in June. I never even knew when I

17:44 Speaker 2: was growing up. You know, look on the ingredients, Look

17:46 Speaker 2: on this. They don't teach you that when I was

17:49 Speaker 2: going to school, and it's like, okay, that should be

17:52 Speaker 2: part of health. That should be part of schools. That

17:54 Speaker 2: should be mantorb to show them or homec you know

17:59 Speaker 2: how you you're learning about measuring things like that, that's perfect.

18:03 Speaker 2: Have it half of a year of cooking and half

18:06 Speaker 2: of a year learning about you know, what is this process?

18:10 Speaker 2: What is this chemical that is going into you and

18:13 Speaker 2: studying it, and I guarantee these kids it will make

18:17 Speaker 2: them open their eye a little bit more.

18:19 Speaker 1: There's something I've always this is an unpopular opinion, but

18:23 Speaker 1: I've always felt that there's something deeply wrong on a

18:28 Speaker 1: societal level with us, because you know, and and you know,

18:33 Speaker 1: RFK talks about you know, processed foods and how it hurt.

18:36 Speaker 1: And don't get me wrong, I think RFK overall is

18:39 Speaker 1: a lunatic. But I think the one thing he does

18:41 Speaker 1: get right where he doesn't sound completely insane, is when

18:44 Speaker 1: he talks about processed food and how how much harm

18:47 Speaker 1: that's causing uh to to to people.

18:49 Speaker 2: And you know.

18:50 Speaker 1: But the thing that I I don't understand is why

18:56 Speaker 1: you know, almost almost right out of the shoot, when

18:59 Speaker 1: you're born, you've got all these people around you who

19:02 Speaker 1: allegedly love you, who are trying to shove as much

19:07 Speaker 1: fat and cholesterol and sugar which is you know, white sugar,

19:11 Speaker 1: which is poison into you. You know, almost almost immediately

19:17 Speaker 1: like you learn, like like you're taught again by these

19:20 Speaker 1: people who are supposed to be looking out for you.

19:21 Speaker 1: You're taught to like and enjoy the worst possible stuff

19:26 Speaker 1: for you. Oh, a birthday party, we got to have

19:29 Speaker 1: some cake. Oh you want to treat yeah, or here,

19:32 Speaker 1: have a cupcake. You know, it's it's weird. It it

19:37 Speaker 1: doesn't make any logical sense. And yet and you know,

19:41 Speaker 1: and then people are confused, like, well, oh why you know,

19:45 Speaker 1: why is obese toy such a problem. Why why is

19:48 Speaker 1: it that with every generation we have higher and higher

19:50 Speaker 1: rates of diabetes? Because this is just this weird thing

19:55 Speaker 1: in our culture, and I'm sure it exists in other

19:57 Speaker 1: countries as well. But it's like like almost from the day,

20:01 Speaker 1: like nobody has a chance because almost from the moment

20:05 Speaker 1: you're brought into the world, you are taught to enjoy

20:08 Speaker 1: things that are going to slowly kill you. Right, It's

20:13 Speaker 1: so bizarre. I don't know why we do it, but

20:17 Speaker 1: we do.

20:18 Speaker 2: Yes, so true, so true, It is true because I'm

20:23 Speaker 2: about when it comes to a birthday, you have to

20:26 Speaker 2: have a cake. That's just right. Then?

20:28 Speaker 1: Well, yeah, you're taught that right from when you're little.

20:31 Speaker 2: Yeah. Well when I was little, some birthdays I didn't

20:33 Speaker 2: even have a cake. So I made sure anybody that

20:36 Speaker 2: I know that if I rock with you, I'm making

20:40 Speaker 2: sure if it's your birthday if I can make it. Lately,

20:43 Speaker 2: I've been working a lot, it's been crazy, But yeah,

20:49 Speaker 2: cake is important. I feel like when you get to

20:53 Speaker 2: blow that candle O, it's different. It's like you're relieving

20:58 Speaker 2: your last year to a new beginning, sure for your life,

21:04 Speaker 2: if it makes sense, A little confused.

21:06 Speaker 1: Of but no, no, you got no, I totally get that.

21:10 Speaker 1: But wouldn't it be nice to put that candle on

21:12 Speaker 1: top of a healthy snack?

21:13 Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, even salad like I don't. I don't, I

21:16 Speaker 2: don't rock on it like I definitely do. Like if

21:19 Speaker 2: I do a kid's birthday party and stuff, I do,

21:21 Speaker 2: have fruit salad, reckless.

21:22 Speaker 1: Salad, maybe a protein bar. You could shove the candle

21:24 Speaker 1: into the protein bar if it's soft enough.

21:26 Speaker 2: You know, yeah, definitely, there's not's wrong with that. I

21:29 Speaker 2: feel anything, or even a yogurt putting.

21:31 Speaker 1: On Ooh, I like that idea.

21:33 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, add some oats on top.

21:36 Speaker 1: Get that protein and yeah absolutely yeah, absolutely yeah. So

21:41 Speaker 1: that's that's my my rant on that. All right, we

21:45 Speaker 1: need to talk about how you found out, well sort

21:49 Speaker 1: of it depends on what I did.

21:52 Speaker 2: I found out I was pregnant with my son, it

21:54 Speaker 2: will be June will be he'll be sixteen years old.

21:58 Speaker 2: But having a big party, stud forget to forget.

22:01 Speaker 1: So so back, how, oh god, how many years ago? Now,

22:04 Speaker 1: it's so long ago, fifteen and a half. So at

22:07 Speaker 1: the time, a little little time travel here a little

22:10 Speaker 1: and some people already some of our listeners already know

22:13 Speaker 1: this story. But so at that time, so we were

22:17 Speaker 1: at what was at that time Millie's Tavern. Yes, yes,

22:20 Speaker 1: show doing a show. We had a show there. Your

22:24 Speaker 1: partner de Z the Gift. Were you married at that point?

22:27 Speaker 2: Yeah, my ex husband, yes.

22:28 Speaker 1: Okay, I couldn't remember if you were married yet. He

22:33 Speaker 1: was there. He was part of the show. Y, you

22:35 Speaker 1: were part of the show somehow, right? Were you on

22:37 Speaker 1: stage at some point?

22:38 Speaker 2: Yes? Well, actually Norm called me to the stage all right, right, okay,

22:43 Speaker 2: he says, I have something to tell you guys.

22:45 Speaker 1: Right, So Norm Moody, who I was his co host

22:49 Speaker 1: on a show called Norman Friends that we did right

22:51 Speaker 1: here in Manchester on Channel twenty three at the time

22:54 Speaker 1: for eight years. So for anyone who doesn't know, so

22:57 Speaker 1: Norm was a psychic and my rule on the show

23:01 Speaker 1: kind of evolved a little bit, but basically I was

23:05 Speaker 1: like the skeptical, sarcastic, smart ass sidekick, you know. I was.

23:11 Speaker 1: I was off in the fly and the ointment and uh,

23:14 Speaker 1: you know, trying to not derail everything. But but I

23:18 Speaker 1: was kinda when I was a little I was kind

23:20 Speaker 1: of a menace in some ways, you know. And I

23:23 Speaker 1: was I was just coost for eight years. But we

23:25 Speaker 1: would do events outside of that, and so he was

23:28 Speaker 1: I don't remember if it was like officially like a

23:31 Speaker 1: Norman friend's event that we were doing, I don't remember.

23:33 Speaker 1: I just remember Norm was involved, there were musicians involved.

23:38 Speaker 1: You and d Z were a part of the show.

23:40 Speaker 1: And and yes, so that night Norm told did he

23:44 Speaker 1: I can't remember though, did he Did he tell you

23:47 Speaker 1: on stage in front of everyone?

23:49 Speaker 2: Yes? He actually called me to the stage and no,

23:52 Speaker 2: because I wasn't feeling good that night.

23:55 Speaker 1: Yeah, I was mood.

23:56 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was just I wasn't feeling it. I didn't

23:59 Speaker 2: even want to go to the show. I just was

24:01 Speaker 2: I felt nauseous. Smells were bothering me, and I'm like,

24:05 Speaker 2: maybe I'm getting sick. But I went because to support him,

24:09 Speaker 2: and he went to the stage and then Norm called

24:14 Speaker 2: me to the stage and then he's like, you need

24:17 Speaker 2: to come up here. I need to tell you something

24:24 Speaker 2: for to both of you, to me and EAZ And

24:28 Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm looking at the Z I'm like, damn,

24:31 Speaker 2: he cheated on me and I'm about to get told

24:33 Speaker 2: them that's what I Yeah, that's what I was thinking.

24:37 Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm it's gonna be. We're gonna rumble on it.

24:42 Speaker 2: We're gonna get it all. We get to crack it.

24:45 Speaker 2: But that was the situation. It's like, so how far

24:50 Speaker 2: along are you? And I'm like what, It's like, how

24:54 Speaker 2: far along are you? And you haven't not one, but

24:57 Speaker 2: you haven't two. And I'm looking at I'm like, is

25:00 Speaker 2: this a prank? Because I know my body? But damn

25:05 Speaker 2: am I pregnant? Because I was just complaining to him

25:09 Speaker 2: on the way that I wasn't feeling good. So we're

25:12 Speaker 2: on the stage, I'm not feeling good. I feel like

25:15 Speaker 2: I'm gonna get sick. I'm like, is this true or not?

25:18 Speaker 2: I'm like I don't think so, and he's like, no,

25:20 Speaker 2: I'm serious. Norm kept saying that and he's like, you're

25:23 Speaker 2: gonna call me in a couple of days and you're

25:25 Speaker 2: gonna tell me that you're expected. So I went home.

25:29 Speaker 2: We're going home and I'm like, do you think that's true?

25:32 Speaker 2: And I don't know, So I'm like, let's stop. So

25:35 Speaker 2: I got a test the next day and I'm like, oh,

25:41 Speaker 2: I called d I'm like, D come here, come here,

25:44 Speaker 2: and he comes running in. I'm like, look at this.

25:47 Speaker 2: I was like, I gotta do another one because I

25:50 Speaker 2: bought a couple of them. I did it. I think

25:52 Speaker 2: two or three of them are all positive. I'm like,

25:55 Speaker 2: oh no, I'm I'm gonna call Matt right now and

25:57 Speaker 2: let him know that Norm was on on point. And

26:01 Speaker 2: then the story gets even more crazy. So my son

26:04 Speaker 2: is a twin. I lost my daughter. She was four

26:06 Speaker 2: months four months when I was pregnant, and when uh

26:15 Speaker 2: we did the ultrasound and they're saying twins and I'm

26:19 Speaker 2: like no way. So I screenshot. I think I even

26:22 Speaker 2: sent it to you. I was like, send this to Norm,

26:24 Speaker 2: please to let him know that he is arm point.

26:29 Speaker 2: So yeah, he's how is he?

26:32 Speaker 1: Well, he's dead, passed away. He passed away. Yeah, oh wow,

26:37 Speaker 1: yeah he's been gone a few years now. Yeah wow.

26:40 Speaker 2: He was a good guy.

26:41 Speaker 1: He was Yeah, he you know, he'd had various health issues,

26:47 Speaker 1: So it was in some ways, it was not necessarily

26:50 Speaker 1: a big surprise, but you know, and I hadn't been

26:52 Speaker 1: on the show with him for you know, several years,

26:55 Speaker 1: quite a few years at that point, so when he

26:57 Speaker 1: did pass away, so I wasn't, you know, up to

27:00 Speaker 1: speed on what was going on necessarily. But but yeah, yeah,

27:04 Speaker 1: so he is, uh he has he has left us.

27:06 Speaker 1: But but yeah, that is a that's a great story though.

27:09 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, definitely not. Every time I see you or Jenny,

27:12 Speaker 2: I always think of about that story because it's like,

27:15 Speaker 2: you know, it's good memories.

27:17 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I remember too and being pretty certain about it.

27:20 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he was precise right on top. Yeah, yeah,

27:23 Speaker 2: right on, so he knew before I did.

27:25 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, were you were you skeptical? Uh like going

27:32 Speaker 1: into that, Like I don't know what your your feelings

27:35 Speaker 1: are generally about psychics and all of that. Like I'm

27:38 Speaker 1: I'm a natural skeptic, but I don't know what your

27:41 Speaker 1: uh your feelings are.

27:43 Speaker 2: I actually like psychics. I feel like it could be

27:46 Speaker 2: a guy, that angel coming through the persons. Yeah, tell

27:50 Speaker 2: him something. Yeah, because I've had a psychic contact me

27:54 Speaker 2: in the middle of the night when my brother passed away. Yeah,

27:57 Speaker 2: and she said he was going back a fool and

28:01 Speaker 2: she said she kept she was a a media and

28:06 Speaker 2: a psychic medium medium. Yes, and she said that she

28:12 Speaker 2: called me at eleven o'clock at night. I never answered

28:14 Speaker 2: when people are calling me on my messenger and I'm like,

28:18 Speaker 2: is this a stark girl, because I've had it happen

28:21 Speaker 2: like crazy stuff. And I'm like nah. And then she's like, Jackie,

28:25 Speaker 2: I need to talk to you. She's like, you don't

28:28 Speaker 2: know me, but someone that is just passed is trying

28:32 Speaker 2: to cross over and that's stock they need to I

28:35 Speaker 2: need you to contact the wow. And I'm like, okay,

28:39 Speaker 2: is this lady really playing with me? Because you know

28:41 Speaker 2: social media, you look at a picture, you just assume

28:43 Speaker 2: something like I'm not stupid. So long story short, I

28:48 Speaker 2: answered her and she goes, Jackie, I have three Jackies

28:52 Speaker 2: in my in my friend's list, and I have this

28:55 Speaker 2: person that's a male dark skin. He's trying to craw

29:00 Speaker 2: sova and he wants to. He wants to he needs

29:05 Speaker 2: to talk to you, and I'm like, it's my brother.

29:08 Speaker 2: Like it's my brother. I was like, oh my god.

29:10 Speaker 2: I started crying my eyes out and I'm like, okay.

29:13 Speaker 2: So this was probably like six months after he passed,

29:16 Speaker 2: and you know, I felt like when he crossed, when

29:20 Speaker 2: he passed, he didn't cross. I felt that, Yeah, just

29:24 Speaker 2: something I go to a cemetery life. It was, It's

29:27 Speaker 2: just I take care of it.

29:29 Speaker 1: Yeah.

29:30 Speaker 2: So I don't know. I just felt that, and people

29:33 Speaker 2: thought I was crazy and stuff. But when she contacted me,

29:36 Speaker 2: I knew I was right. And he was talking about

29:40 Speaker 2: how he passed. He he he said I was right,

29:44 Speaker 2: like my feeling about it and stuff like that, and

29:48 Speaker 2: he kept saying, drink lots of water, take care of

29:51 Speaker 2: your health. That's something he would always say, yeah, And

29:56 Speaker 2: I said okay, because he used to work out and

29:58 Speaker 2: drink water every day, so he would like motivate me.

30:02 Speaker 2: And then he'd be He started going to debt because

30:08 Speaker 2: I'm like, is this lady really serious? I'm like, what

30:11 Speaker 2: else do you see? He's like, well, I don't know

30:13 Speaker 2: how long he's going to be here for, but I

30:16 Speaker 2: just want as long as he's here to talk. He

30:19 Speaker 2: has a lot of information to tell you. So he

30:22 Speaker 2: was just going in and in and he was talking

30:24 Speaker 2: about our old memories together and I'm like, oh, my God,

30:28 Speaker 2: this is really him. And the crazy thing is he's like,

30:33 Speaker 2: I come to your room every night. That's what he

30:36 Speaker 2: was saying to her. Like he was just saying like

30:38 Speaker 2: a whole bunch of stuff to me, and I'm like,

30:40 Speaker 2: this is overwhelming. He's like, I appreciate you going to

30:43 Speaker 2: the cemetery cleaning and up. He was saying that to

30:47 Speaker 2: me and everything. So I was like, oh wow, that's

30:50 Speaker 2: that's that's that's like I felt grateful because I felt

30:54 Speaker 2: like he's talking to me. And then he brought up

30:56 Speaker 2: about my show. You know how I was telling you

30:58 Speaker 2: I was going to stop my show and he's like,

31:02 Speaker 2: you better not stop your show. He's like that, he

31:05 Speaker 2: was telling me that, So you know, he was just

31:08 Speaker 2: saying a lot of stuff and she was on point.

31:10 Speaker 2: She was on point, Like I said what's my favorite color?

31:14 Speaker 2: Because at first, like I'm not, I'm like, what's my

31:17 Speaker 2: favorite color? And he's like blue, and I was like okay.

31:21 Speaker 2: I was like, say some crazy stuff what we did together,

31:24 Speaker 2: and he said some crazy stuff like he wasn't saying

31:27 Speaker 2: in like full sentences, but he was saying it like

31:31 Speaker 2: I would understand, as though I was like, dang, he's really,

31:34 Speaker 2: like really here. He was there for three and a

31:37 Speaker 2: half hours talking to me. It was like three o'clock

31:40 Speaker 2: in the morning. When she's like, he's gone, and I

31:44 Speaker 2: was like wait because we were in the middle of

31:46 Speaker 2: a sentence and she goes, just no, he crossed over.

31:51 Speaker 2: It's gonna make me cry. But he crossed over, and

31:56 Speaker 2: I was with him and knowing that he's my ace,

32:00 Speaker 2: and like he went over, like I felt relieved, but

32:06 Speaker 2: also like that's what was I was feeling when I

32:10 Speaker 2: was going to the cemetery. You know what I'm saying,

32:12 Speaker 2: Like I knew what I was feeling that he didn't

32:16 Speaker 2: have that closure. Yeah, you know, And I seen him

32:22 Speaker 2: like a week before he passed. I was looking for

32:26 Speaker 2: him when he was missing and stuff like I was

32:28 Speaker 2: on It felt sick to me because I seen crows

32:31 Speaker 2: go by. I was like, he's dead, and I was

32:34 Speaker 2: like I was spasing on everybody. I was not find

32:37 Speaker 2: my brother. Find my brother. I was like, I don't

32:40 Speaker 2: want to hear it. And then when I got that

32:41 Speaker 2: call he got shot in the head. Oh my god,

32:45 Speaker 2: oh my god, like I wanted to lose I started flipping.

32:48 Speaker 2: I had so much anger, like anger, but.

32:51 Speaker 1: Did you did you know before you got the call, like,

32:54 Speaker 1: did you feel it?

32:55 Speaker 2: I knew he passed, but the thing was it was

32:59 Speaker 2: his mom's birthday. And then when his mom's birthday, she

33:03 Speaker 2: called me and she's like, have you seen him? And

33:05 Speaker 2: I was like, no, I haven't seen him. I seen

33:08 Speaker 2: I thought you had a picture with him. She's like yeah,

33:11 Speaker 2: but no one's seen him for twenty four hours. I'm like,

33:14 Speaker 2: that's not like him. So I started making calls. I'm like,

33:17 Speaker 2: that's not like him. I'm like, we're like, I'm calling

33:21 Speaker 2: his phone. It's ringing and ringing. I was like, get

33:23 Speaker 2: his phone, get his phone ping to find out where

33:27 Speaker 2: it where he's where his phone is? Trace that And

33:32 Speaker 2: I said that to the mom, and you know, I

33:35 Speaker 2: was kind of like hostile with but I felt it.

33:39 Speaker 2: I felt like, that's my ace, that's my everything, and

33:42 Speaker 2: you're gone. Like I felt it because I was at

33:44 Speaker 2: the beach. I went to the beach that morning and

33:47 Speaker 2: I seen the crows go by, and when I seen that,

33:50 Speaker 2: I threw up. And then when I threw up, I

33:53 Speaker 2: was like someone died. And the person I was with,

33:55 Speaker 2: they're like, no, that's just you're just saying. I was like, no,

33:59 Speaker 2: I want to. I get like this, someone died. I

34:02 Speaker 2: feel it inside me. My soul is empty, like it's weird,

34:05 Speaker 2: Like I could see psychic things like little things. Yeah,

34:08 Speaker 2: and I seen I seen woods and I kept seeing

34:11 Speaker 2: woods like a vision. And I'm like, someone's dead in

34:15 Speaker 2: the woods. And I'm like, something's not right. And then

34:17 Speaker 2: his mom called me right when those crows were going by.

34:21 Speaker 2: I was like, traces my phone. I'm gonna be on

34:24 Speaker 2: the I'm getting a car. I'm going to look for him.

34:27 Speaker 2: I'm gonna find him. I'm gonna find him. And she's like, oh, don't,

34:31 Speaker 2: don't pin it too much. I'm like, no, it's been

34:32 Speaker 2: twenty four hours. Someone nobody's seen him. I was like,

34:35 Speaker 2: it's not right because I already seen what was happening. Yeah,

34:38 Speaker 2: So I turn around. I got the car. My girl

34:42 Speaker 2: was driving me. It pinged to me interested in the

34:44 Speaker 2: Hampshire where we're at ninety five point three FM. We're

34:47 Speaker 2: out here with Matt Connaughty shut out to Matt. But

34:50 Speaker 2: it pined out here, but it was all woods and

34:54 Speaker 2: his mom sent me the address I'm going. So my

34:56 Speaker 2: girl came to gribbed me my god, since mom King.

35:02 Speaker 2: She picked me up and we went to the woods.

35:06 Speaker 2: We're heading into the woods and I'm like some like,

35:09 Speaker 2: I just something wasn't sitting right. I'm five minutes from

35:13 Speaker 2: the woods and I said, I feel like he's dead.

35:18 Speaker 2: I smelled blood and I was like, he's dead. And

35:22 Speaker 2: I got that call and his mom is telling me

35:25 Speaker 2: he's dead. She's like, get to Lynn, immediately, get to Linn.

35:29 Speaker 2: Get to the house. Oh shoot. I was like, flip

35:33 Speaker 2: the car around because we're out here. Lynn is what

35:36 Speaker 2: hour hour and a half from here?

35:38 Speaker 1: From here on probably an hour. Yeah.

35:40 Speaker 2: So I'm like, oh, I have my friend. I'm like

35:43 Speaker 2: I'm gonna I'm gonna take a car. I need someone's car.

35:46 Speaker 2: I need to be mobile. I need to be done

35:48 Speaker 2: in it. My girl gave me her car. I shot

35:51 Speaker 2: over there. I was like, this is a horror movie.

35:54 Speaker 2: I seen the young I can't even get to the street.

35:57 Speaker 2: I see clock cars every where, the yellow tape. They

36:01 Speaker 2: blocked the whole street, Layton Street off and I'm like,

36:05 Speaker 2: oh man, this is nuts. This is nuts. Like I

36:08 Speaker 2: need to get over there. That's my family, that's my

36:11 Speaker 2: aunt's house, you know. So I'm like, what the heck's

36:13 Speaker 2: going on. I turn around, I get to stop a shop.

36:19 Speaker 2: I'm gonna I'm gonna leave the car and I'm gonna run.

36:21 Speaker 2: I'm gonna run over to where they're at. It's like

36:23 Speaker 2: maybe five streets away. So I get to the car,

36:28 Speaker 2: I mean to the parking lot where stopping shop is,

36:32 Speaker 2: and I see the the body go by. Oh God,

36:38 Speaker 2: and I was like, damn, that's my brother. But I

36:41 Speaker 2: felt like it was him saying goodbye to me because

36:46 Speaker 2: it was me and his one on one for him

36:50 Speaker 2: to go by, and how all of it. I kept

36:54 Speaker 2: spending the block for forty five minutes, so I felt

36:58 Speaker 2: like it was him delaying to see him, you know

37:01 Speaker 2: what I mean. But that didn't stop me. I went

37:04 Speaker 2: to the where he was and I didn't know that

37:07 Speaker 2: they don't clean up. I almost fainted, flipping, flipping, But

37:14 Speaker 2: it's like, you know, that's my brother forever. And everyone

37:18 Speaker 2: could say, oh, he's different skin tone, but you don't

37:21 Speaker 2: know what we've been through. Like he was the one

37:24 Speaker 2: that was solid for me if I needed to cry

37:26 Speaker 2: about breaking up with his brother a bo the divorce

37:30 Speaker 2: and things like that, that was the one I could

37:32 Speaker 2: go to and trust on everything on everything that's my

37:38 Speaker 2: son's godfather and uncle, you know what I mean. So

37:41 Speaker 2: it's like family flee me, but you don't know when

37:46 Speaker 2: life is gonna be tossed oct And it's like people

37:51 Speaker 2: need to appreciate life, not take life for granted. I

37:55 Speaker 2: don't have time for hating. I don't have time for

38:00 Speaker 2: being jealous of someone. We need to unite, We need

38:02 Speaker 2: to come together. We need to be together and fight

38:08 Speaker 2: for our life right now because everything was a turmoil.

38:13 Speaker 2: And it's like, you know, our children need a life

38:16 Speaker 2: for the future, and if we don't make it better

38:19 Speaker 2: for them, what life are they going to have. It's

38:21 Speaker 2: just a turmoil. I mean, like I said, we used

38:25 Speaker 2: to leave the doors unlocked, your neighbor you could trust

38:29 Speaker 2: and things like that. Now you gotta double up, locked everything,

38:31 Speaker 2: check everything. It's crazy.

38:34 Speaker 1: The reason, by the way, so the reason I asked

38:38 Speaker 1: you about did you feel like you felt them leave?

38:41 Speaker 1: You know, is because this relates to someone you've met

38:45 Speaker 1: but who is no longer with us. Do you remember

38:48 Speaker 1: Steve Blake?

38:49 Speaker 2: Why is that sound familiar?

38:51 Speaker 1: So you and de Z were on his podcast This

38:55 Speaker 1: was a lot. This would have been around the same

38:57 Speaker 1: time you would come up to Manchester. We were doing

39:01 Speaker 1: his podcast at a diner.

39:03 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I remember that. Yeah, he passed away.

39:06 Speaker 1: He passed away. Yeah, he's he's actually been gone for

39:08 Speaker 1: for quite a while now. But so I will just

39:14 Speaker 1: because I don't know, it feels like the moment to

39:15 Speaker 1: do it, I guess because we're talking about it and

39:17 Speaker 1: it's someone you know or knew. I know you didn't

39:20 Speaker 1: meet him, you didn't know him very well, but you

39:21 Speaker 1: probably meet him a few times because he was always around. Yes,

39:24 Speaker 1: but Steve. So there was a night remember remember Styling Souls. Yes,

39:30 Speaker 1: we used to do events there and I did hypnosis there.

39:33 Speaker 1: So there was a night that I was there after

39:36 Speaker 1: a a hypnosis session with somebody, and I'm there at

39:39 Speaker 1: the computer and I'm just doing whatever I was doing.

39:42 Speaker 1: And I've never this is something. Not only have I

39:46 Speaker 1: never shared this publicly, I've never told anyone this. I've

39:50 Speaker 1: never told anyone this. I'm sitting there, it was probably

39:53 Speaker 1: I don't know, around eight thirty nine o'clock at night,

39:56 Speaker 1: I'm kind of getting ready to go home, and all

40:00 Speaker 1: of a sudden, I just felt I felt very heavy,

40:03 Speaker 1: like I felt this enormous loss, and I actually started crying,

40:08 Speaker 1: like really crying, and I'm not a crier, and I

40:13 Speaker 1: had no idea what was happening to me. I don't know,

40:16 Speaker 1: you know, and It'll lasted a few minutes, but I

40:19 Speaker 1: just felt like this enormous sense of loss all of

40:22 Speaker 1: a sudden, and I was crying, and it was very

40:25 Speaker 1: very strange. Hasn't nothing. I haven't experienced anything quite like

40:29 Speaker 1: that since, But yeah, it was just odd. And then

40:32 Speaker 1: when I was done and I pulled myself together for

40:35 Speaker 1: you know, whatever reason this was happening to me, you know,

40:38 Speaker 1: I went home and whatnot. And then first thing in

40:41 Speaker 1: the morning the next day, I get a call and

40:47 Speaker 1: it's Esther, who was Steve's wife. Wow, And as soon

40:51 Speaker 1: as I heard her voice on the phone, I knew,

40:54 Speaker 1: Like before she even told me, I knew. And I

40:57 Speaker 1: now looking back on it, you know, and look, I'm

41:02 Speaker 1: not one of these people who says, oh, there are

41:04 Speaker 1: no you know, no coincidences. Of course, there are coincidences.

41:07 Speaker 1: But but she told me, you know, because I asked

41:10 Speaker 1: as well, when did he pass? She said, you know,

41:12 Speaker 1: she was vague about the time, but she said, last night.

41:14 Speaker 1: I found him last night. He was he was unconscious,

41:17 Speaker 1: and I've just always kind of thought, because I don't

41:23 Speaker 1: know how else to explain what I was experiencing. It

41:27 Speaker 1: just seemed to me. I think I felt him leave.

41:32 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I felt that when I see the crows,

41:37 Speaker 2: I just didn't know who it was. Precise died and

41:41 Speaker 2: I lost my aunt prior to that, my grandmother and

41:43 Speaker 2: my ace. Like I said in many like Rest the Soul,

41:48 Speaker 2: Legend king og Don Hazel, he was the director of

41:52 Speaker 2: the movie he passed away. Then legend La La that's

41:56 Speaker 2: the lady I go in Don Hazel the Gangster Movie

42:00 Speaker 2: against her. In the movie he passed away like one

42:03 Speaker 2: year after Dawn Haynes. So it's like all these funerals

42:06 Speaker 2: I can't even hear from one, and it's just getting hit.

42:09 Speaker 2: I got hit with like eleven in two years, and

42:14 Speaker 2: they were all close to me, and my heart was

42:18 Speaker 2: like rip this way, ripped this way, ripped this way,

42:21 Speaker 2: and it's like my brothers. Though in my other ace,

42:26 Speaker 2: Keana restaursoul Angelized. I felt those two. When I say

42:32 Speaker 2: I felt it my Keanna, that's my godson's mother. I

42:41 Speaker 2: was actually supposed to be due on her. My son

42:44 Speaker 2: was supposed to be due on my birthday, but I

42:46 Speaker 2: wanted to be selfish June nineteenth. It's a holiday now baby,

42:51 Speaker 2: but she my son was supposed to be do We

42:56 Speaker 2: were both pregnant at the same time, our whole pregnancies,

42:59 Speaker 2: and we both found out we're having the boy. We're

43:02 Speaker 2: ecstatic and long story short, when she passed, I felt it.

43:11 Speaker 2: I seen it. I had a dream. I had a

43:14 Speaker 2: dream she was in a ballroom all in beige dressed

43:20 Speaker 2: beige shirt and she was in a big ballroom, makeup,

43:23 Speaker 2: looking beautiful, dancing. And I got that call when I

43:27 Speaker 2: was having that dream, and I felt so sick. I

43:30 Speaker 2: started yelling the grandmother. I was like, no, my aunt.

43:36 Speaker 2: I was like no, I was just wear her last night.

43:39 Speaker 2: There's no way, no way, And she's like, no, it's true.

43:44 Speaker 2: You need to get over here. Everyone's over here, the cops.

43:48 Speaker 2: I'm like what. I'm like, no, I what time is it.

43:52 Speaker 2: I was like lost, Like I just dreamt of her.

43:54 Speaker 2: There's no way. I'm like, there's no way. On my fine,

43:57 Speaker 2: my ace, And you know, I had to clean the

44:00 Speaker 2: blood on her bed because it's my godson's room. Nobody

44:04 Speaker 2: wants to do it. And I'm like, I'm not I'm

44:06 Speaker 2: not gonna leave it. I gotta clean it up, you

44:08 Speaker 2: know what I mean. So everyone's like put gloves on,

44:11 Speaker 2: put this mask, and I was like, no, I'm not

44:14 Speaker 2: gonna do that. That's my best friend. Like, and I

44:18 Speaker 2: didn't even think to put gloves or anything because that's

44:23 Speaker 2: my best friend. Ye to know that that's her blood light,

44:27 Speaker 2: oh you know, So it's like visions I seen that's

44:34 Speaker 2: and when I seen her the night before, that feeling

44:40 Speaker 2: I got, like when we go like this to each other,

44:46 Speaker 2: and I got a feeling I was never going to

44:49 Speaker 2: see her again. I felt it. I felt it. And

44:52 Speaker 2: if I ever get that feeling, I got it with

44:54 Speaker 2: my brother and I ran back to him to give

44:57 Speaker 2: him a hug and a kiss because I got that

45:00 Speaker 2: failing that I'll never see them again. And when I

45:03 Speaker 2: get that failing, that's why I always say, when you

45:08 Speaker 2: love somebody, you have to say I love you to

45:11 Speaker 2: them and give hugs and be affectionate because you never know.

45:16 Speaker 2: Today's not promise, never mind tomorrow. And that's very important.

45:20 Speaker 2: No matter like suicide is such a high. We just

45:24 Speaker 2: lost that rapper. He was twenty something years old this

45:28 Speaker 2: week and you know, it's okay to get help. If

45:32 Speaker 2: you ever feel like you want to hurt yourself or

45:34 Speaker 2: you want to harm someone, it's okay. Get the help

45:38 Speaker 2: first before you do it, because your family is going

45:41 Speaker 2: to suffer tremendously. And if you hurt somebody or kill somebody,

45:47 Speaker 2: it's going to hurt two families, not one, but two,

45:51 Speaker 2: your family and their family. So it's important because people

45:55 Speaker 2: don't understand that that you know, retaliation or whatever the

45:59 Speaker 2: case may be. He is, no, that's not the way,

46:02 Speaker 2: and we need to reach out to this younger, younger generation.

46:04 Speaker 2: The youth needs us. They lost for sauce, very lost

46:08 Speaker 2: for sauce. You know, we got to start getting them

46:11 Speaker 2: back how we were growing up and uniting with everyone,

46:17 Speaker 2: because now it's not about unite. You know, it's different cultures,

46:22 Speaker 2: different gangs, different society, society, and you need to unite.

46:28 Speaker 2: Everybody needs to unite and come together. That's that, that's

46:33 Speaker 2: what we need to do. We need to keep praying.

46:35 Speaker 2: I say, keep your prayer, peace up, prayers up, positive,

46:40 Speaker 2: and that's what we need to do.

46:43 Speaker 1: Well, very well said. So we are we are rapidly

46:47 Speaker 1: running out of time. It goes so quickly.

46:48 Speaker 2: Wow, we did. We managed a lot of stuff, making

46:52 Speaker 2: I feel accomplished.

46:53 Speaker 1: I knew we would, but I do want to make

46:55 Speaker 1: sure so before we run out of time The Icy Show.

46:57 Speaker 1: We want to remind people about that. Where to find

46:59 Speaker 1: it when it's I don't know if you're on any

47:01 Speaker 1: kind of a set schedule or if it's just it's

47:03 Speaker 1: on when it's on. I got you, mate, so.

47:05 Speaker 2: You can check me on my podcast, The Icy Show.

47:09 Speaker 2: It is local internationally. It is at six pm Easter times.

47:13 Speaker 2: I try to be on daily, but you know, sometimes

47:16 Speaker 2: with life and working and everything, it gets pushed back

47:19 Speaker 2: to the days. But it is always lined up and promoted.

47:22 Speaker 2: Anybody that is on my show, I try to do

47:25 Speaker 2: a month out. We are booking until April right now.

47:29 Speaker 2: Good morning, Jay's Sunshine. She's one of a great model.

47:34 Speaker 2: She has a brand in Boston, so check her out. Also,

47:39 Speaker 2: everybody on Worldwide Collaboration. That's Family Icy Show, Family Worldwide

47:45 Speaker 2: and Legal Mob Entertainment Queen Miss b K. So everybody

47:49 Speaker 2: keep on shining. Don't let nothing stop you. You know,

47:54 Speaker 2: like I said, there's a lot of evil out there,

47:56 Speaker 2: and I believe in the power of the prayer. That

47:58 Speaker 2: we can change that by keep on over the evil,

48:01 Speaker 2: and we could do that, just stay positive and keep

48:04 Speaker 2: on doing. No one's life is perfect. Everyone's going through something,

48:07 Speaker 2: but always no prayers work. Remember our grandparents, our ancestors,

48:13 Speaker 2: they used to pray for us. That's why we're still here,

48:16 Speaker 2: you know. And that's what I gotta say. And also

48:19 Speaker 2: shut out to the Jails and Wilkins, Barber Sharp, Mark

48:25 Speaker 2: Stelli and yeah, the list goes on your boy custom clothes.

48:29 Speaker 2: Though I can't forget you guys, and so everybody, you know,

48:33 Speaker 2: if I forgot you, you know, I apologize. But you

48:36 Speaker 2: know you're all blessings in my eyes. And you're a

48:38 Speaker 2: shining star from the Icy Show. You know that's important.

48:40 Speaker 2: We're all stars and we gotta we get our star

48:44 Speaker 2: when we go to heaven. But also our star is

48:47 Speaker 2: here now.

48:47 Speaker 1: So and when's your next one? When's your next edition

48:49 Speaker 1: of the show?

48:51 Speaker 2: It is this week. I don't have my book with me, Matt,

48:54 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, but follow me Jackie Brown with two c's

48:57 Speaker 2: j A C C I E Brown Me on YouTube

49:01 Speaker 2: hashtag Icy Show ic C Y s H O w W.

49:06 Speaker 2: And shut out to Mimi Diamond and Red rubies. Salute

49:13 Speaker 2: to all three of my Queen's done, my assistants. Much

49:15 Speaker 2: love and respect to all of you, and you know

49:18 Speaker 2: always we're all royal. But keep the loyal going and

49:23 Speaker 2: that's important because people don't do that nowadays. And also

49:27 Speaker 2: you know the Icy Shows eight year anniversary is coming

49:30 Speaker 2: up on second, so I will be given free eighty

49:34 Speaker 2: lunches out every year. I always do how many years

49:39 Speaker 2: i'm out there, so I provide eighty three lunches, it

49:43 Speaker 2: will be ninety because I always do ten more and

49:45 Speaker 2: then they'll always go less than an hour and a half.

49:48 Speaker 2: And it's a good feeling because everyone smiles and smile

49:51 Speaker 2: goes a long way instead of being miserable and mad

49:54 Speaker 2: and angry all the time. That's the problem. People need

49:58 Speaker 2: to smile, being easy on the gas out there and

50:02 Speaker 2: stuff like that.

50:03 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I agree. Well, this has been wonderful and

50:05 Speaker 1: wonderful to have you here. We got to do this

50:06 Speaker 1: more often. Let's not let another what three years go by?

50:09 Speaker 2: Yes, one more thing, Matt, I'm sorry, don't forget tomorrow

50:13 Speaker 2: night APM to Massachusetts. I will be a judge tomorrow.

50:17 Speaker 2: It's the Ladies all performance, great lineup, come check us

50:22 Speaker 2: out Bayhallas in the building from Boston six one chef

50:25 Speaker 2: and she's another judge, and show up to loud House

50:28 Speaker 2: one more time for asking me to be a judge

50:31 Speaker 2: on your platform. And let's get it tomorrow night top

50:34 Speaker 2: in Massachusetts, APM type security and let's go.

50:38 Speaker 1: Respect excellent. Thank you so much, and uh, of course

50:42 Speaker 1: thank you to Caitlin Piper and of course Jim from

50:45 Speaker 1: Howling Hawk also for joining us today. If you miss

50:47 Speaker 1: any part of today's show, it will be up in

50:49 Speaker 1: just a little bit at Wmnhradio dot org and of

50:52 Speaker 1: course at my website Matt Coonnorton dot com. And that's

50:55 Speaker 1: gonna do it for us for now. We're out of here.

50:57 Speaker 1: Ge girl again, thank you so much.

50:58 Speaker 2: You're ninety five point three, went back, called it to

51:00 Speaker 2: left start.

51:02 Speaker 1: Bye, everybody,