G-Girl | Matt Connarton Unleashed

0:00 Speaker 1: And we have entered our number three New Marrow trace of Matt Connerton unleashed. For those of you listening live, it is a Saturday, February twenty one, twenty twenty six, and we are from the studios of wm NH ninety five point three FM and Glorious Manchester, New Hampshire, the winter wonderland that it is. And of course you can stream the show from anywhere but to Matt connorton dot com, slash live for all of your live streaming options, social media links, contact Infox, show archives, et cetera, et cetera, and right now joining us here in studio, let's see there we go.

0:34 Speaker 1: We have g girls here.

0:35 Speaker 2: Yes, Hi, how you doing met?

0:37 Speaker 1: Yeah, very well, very well. It's been also known as Jackie Brown of course on social media. We were talking off air. Actually pull that pull that mic down just a little bit. Yeah, yeah, that's probably good. We were talking off air. It's been like three Has it really been three years since you've been on with us?

0:53 Speaker 2: Yes? Three years?

0:54 Speaker 1: Definitely, my god, yeah, because I do remember the last time you were here. It was at the old when we were on Elm Street. Yes, at the old place. And so this is pretty nice. You like the you like the new, uh or well, I spent a couple of years now, but it's it's still it does still feel new.

1:10 Speaker 2: The only thing I miss is the signature on the wall right right. Hopefully we could bring that back on something like maybe on a poster board or something like that or yeah, you never know, or like a banner or something that just have every every artist or someone that comes in here, your guests and sign on there. But I missed that. But otherwise this is a great location. Congratulations match for lessons on blessings. I known you for years, yes, like sixteen seventeen years, actually more than that, Jess.

1:37 Speaker 1: The time goes so quick two thousand and eight. Yeah, you notice as we get older too, it goes faster and faster.

1:43 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, flash of my eye.

1:45 Speaker 1: Yeah, I find that element rather unpleasant. I would like time to slow down.

1:49 Speaker 2: Yeah. When you're a kid, you're like, oh, it takes so long to get oh, I know, birthday and this and that, and nowadays.

1:55 Speaker 1: It's like when you're like, when you're a kid, like when summer starts, it seems I could just last forever, you know, but but I I know that. I mean a lot of it obviously is perception and it's psychological. But I did read something a number of years ago that there's a theory that there might actually be something It's not just psychological, but there might literally be something neurochemical that happens in our brain as we get older that alters our perception of time.

2:19 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I have to check that out.

2:21 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it. You know, it might all be bs. Who knows.

2:24 Speaker 2: But well, I had four concussions, so I'm like nervous because all the doctors are scaring me. I just actually I got injured about a month ago.

2:33 Speaker 1: So oh, sorry to hear that. Yeah, why have you had four concussions?

2:37 Speaker 2: Well, different reasons, car accidents. I got injured on the bus recently, about January ninth.

2:44 Speaker 1: You got injured on a bus.

2:45 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh well, we can't really talk about it, but you know, I'm just saying I got injured really bad. Okay, and long, shorty short, I've had four concussions, okay, and this was my fourth one. But I guess more concussions you have, you can get that brain disease.

3:03 Speaker 1: Well boxes CTE.

3:05 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, so I'm ski can you? Yeah?

3:09 Speaker 1: We are We are on an eight second delay. So if the worst happens, I can catch it.

3:13 Speaker 2: Okay, I'll try not. I'll be pleasant today.

3:15 Speaker 1: Thank you, welcome.

3:18 Speaker 2: But yeah, it's it's a scary situation because you know, you think of a concussion you hit, you've hailed from a different concussion. Yeah, and then now it's like whoa, your brain is like delayed a little bit. I still have swelling and things like that. But it's crazy how life can change out of a second.

3:39 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, one hundred. So last night, because Friday nights, I'm here for Retrospectrum Radio with poly C and I'm one of the people on that show. And we also have a gentleman named Brooklyn Mike. H Brooklyn Mike if you're listening, and uh, he was here and he was very excited when we mentioned because Paul always gives me a chance to plug what the show is going to be Saturday morning, And he was very excited when I mentioned you were going to be on because he remembers you, Oh yes, from your previous appearances on the show.

4:05 Speaker 2: Yes, tell him myself. Hello, if you're tuning in, Hello to you. Ye, too bad you're not here with us, But yeah, next time we'll have to plan it out that you're on with Matt.

4:14 Speaker 1: That would be cool, That would be cool. Yeah, he's he's been on the show a few times recently. But I also, so your show, the Icy Show, we should talk about that. And I'm not saying this to be funny. This is literally true. I had an epiphany this morning because it finally occurred to me. So I had never understood why you spell it the way you spell it. I see see why I never understood that. And it finally dawned on me this morning. And it happened while I'm looking at you. Your your name on messenger Jackie Brown, and I'm like, wait a minute, she spells Jackie with two c's.

4:52 Speaker 1: Yes, that has to be the reason. Yes, And it's been I don't know, I can't remember again, you know, talking about time and perception. I don't know know how many years it's been now that you've been doing that show, because it's all everything becomes a blur. But it finally occurred to me literally this morning. I was like, oh, I get it.

5:10 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, And the reason why I have two seas it's because of my name and also because I own my show. Yeah, so someone already had it. I see why. So that's why I had to change it with the two seeds. Okay, I could have did it different ways, but that's the way I wanted to go with the Jackie.

5:31 Speaker 1: Yeah.

5:32 Speaker 2: Shout out to DZ the gift mass of Hustle Records. He gave me my name, so salute to him. Definitely. I got to give the shout outs, definitely because that's the reason why. And my show's been around, will be eight years this June second.

5:45 Speaker 1: Eight years. Wow.

5:46 Speaker 2: Yes, and I've done over seven and twenty interviews local and international.

5:52 Speaker 1: Yep.

5:52 Speaker 2: I'm trying to be like you, Matt on my role model.

5:56 Speaker 1: Thank you.

5:58 Speaker 2: Yeah.

5:58 Speaker 1: Jenny was on with you recently.

6:00 Speaker 2: Yes, she was on The Icy Show about a week and a half ago and we talked about how, you know, with the insurance not paying for medicine when people need medicine and people are dying because they can't afford medicine. I was at someone's house in New York last week and she needed her insulin, and you know, it's crazy because her sugar's going high and she can't get her insulent. And that was a different state, so every state is different. What's going on in this world with the difference with the medications and you know what you need to have, and you know, what about the people that have asthma, what about the people that have cancer, you know, that need to be on a medication for life and stuff and they can't afford it.

6:48 Speaker 2: And it's like, it's crazy, it's sad. It's sad, And I'm glad Jenny's doing. Shout out to Jenny if you're tuning in, definitely, because where I see her about two years ago to where she's that now, she looks amazing and I'm so proud of her, and I'm glad she finally found, you know, a cure for her. But she shouldn't have to be suffering like that.

7:11 Speaker 1: Well there's no there's no cure. I mean, if you're talking about the complex uh sorry, complex pain complex regional pain syndrome. Sorry, there's no cure for that. So all she can all she can really do is manage it. But she is. But she is managing it. Well oh yeah, yeah, it's amazing. Yeah. Yeah, she doesn't let it stop her or slow her down or anything.

7:30 Speaker 2: Keep on doing those rallies out.

7:31 Speaker 1: There, yeah, absolutely.

7:34 Speaker 2: Oh, stay safe, she's.

7:35 Speaker 1: Doing great things and she's gonna be going to to DC on Monday, and.

7:39 Speaker 2: Yeah, they travel safe travel.

7:42 Speaker 1: She's doing a lot. Yeah, So tell us more about the show, because obviously, I mean I think you you probably interview people in the music industry more than anything.

7:52 Speaker 2: Right, yes, some business owners too.

7:55 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well, well tell us about like who who are some of the people you've interviewed, and and and why, like how do you how do you decide who you want to have on the show and all that.

8:04 Speaker 2: I try to give everybody an opportunity to be on my show. You know, I believe everybody deserves a chance to be on a show if they can. Yeah, and my show is for you to expand and meet other people. That's why it's local international. Started with seven people following me, and now I got a salute to everyone that follows me. My whole team with worldwide collaboration. I'm with Legal Mob Entertainment. And also you know, I have my own assistance. I got Diamond and Red Ruby and also on my street teams.

8:43 Speaker 2: So okay, you know, it's like I have to give them a shut out because if it wasn't for them to believe in me and keep on growing and DJ slimebugs. My co hosts for Bible studies. We do Bible studies on Sunday for the children. It's just something.

8:58 Speaker 1: Little.

8:59 Speaker 2: My son is the one that started with me being my co host and then we he did one hundred episodes. That was his promise to God when he got baptized, and I was thankful. I was hoping he would keep on going. But you know it's time consuming because he is to study and everything. But my pastor, Minister Thomas, doctor Minister Thomas, he believes in my son. He really thinks he could see my son being a minister or pastor. I don't know about that right now, but he's going through some things. But that's every teenager.

9:31 Speaker 2: You know, he'll be sixteen. Imagine that, Matt. Remember when we were at your show when I found out I was pregnant with my son.

9:40 Speaker 1: We'll come back to that.

9:41 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a great story and I always think about that. But my show is basically about everyone that has something positive going and even people that are in jailing and then never coming home. They've been on my show too, and you know they they they said that they're innocent. You know, even though the trial is over, they's never coming home, and so you know, my show is to give everybody that chance. Like even I have another show that's going to be coming out Ice. It's the icy show Lost Angels.

10:13 Speaker 2: It's about if you have a lost someone you lost and you didn't you know, when you're at the casket and you wish you could talk to that person, but whish to really talk out loud instead of you just sitting there and crying, and you know, you want that last closure. So my show was to have that last closure with that loved one that they lost. At start, it was it should have been out. I did the first episode. I haven't seen you a lot, Matt. There's a lot to catch up with you, but I don't know. De Z's brother passed away.

10:50 Speaker 2: Yeah, it was three years ago. And that was my brother. That was my ace, my everything, Like he was my like it's I cried for three hundred and sixty five days when he died, every single day. And he was the only one that believed in my show and believed in me even when he was behind bars, when he was in jail fighting for his life, and he would contact me to make sure that I keep on going. I don't have that motivation anymore, that someone that really believes in me, like that you could trust on everything, your life on the line, you know, and it's hard to come around those type of people, real solid people.

11:36 Speaker 2: So that took me for a toll because I lost my female ace and my male ace, So that broke my heart in pieces. And I was actually going to stop my icy show, but I had people contacted me because I did a post saying that I was going to stop it, and they said, no, you got to keep on going no matter what you're going through. And you know, I could keep on hearing him say to me, gee, girl, you better not give up. If you give up, like he's motivating me on things that like, you know, I've done for people, but to really have it back with real love and showing that they're out to help you succeed, not out for themselves.

12:26 Speaker 2: That's real rear to find those type of people. And that's why I went to go see him in jail. I went to I bailed him out. You know, he lived with me. He's a good solid person that had my back no matter what I was going through divorce, crying on the shoulder when nobody was there, you know, like yeah, real, real, real life stuff. But not to have that anymore, I needed to come out with the show I felt like for my two aces, because I know there's a lot of people out there that have lost a lot of people and they're getting younger and younger, and I want my platform to be for them to release that.

13:17 Speaker 2: But I wasn't strong enough because my show came out right before my brother died. I did his mother's She lost two of her children, one to that was my brother and the other one was too. Her daughter got stabbed, so she talked about it on my show, so I made that's my aunt. So I made her the first episode because she told me I should do something like that, and I was like, you know what I'm going to. But then when I lost my brother, I was numb for three hundred and sixty five days, like I didn't know if I was coming or going, and going through a lot of stuff.

13:59 Speaker 2: But I kept my show going because I kept hearing him say it. And that's why with that new show, it's dedicating for people that lost the loved ones. So that will be coming out soon and then the Icy show. It's here to stay as long as I keep on having people on the show, artists and things like that. Like tomorrow we have a music show I'm a Judge. It's in Massachusetts. To come out, it's at eight pm. It's ten dollars to get in. Shout to Loudhouse that put it together. So yeah, it's just you know, keep on growing, Matt, That's what it is about it.

14:34 Speaker 2: And you know, life it's flashing my eyes. So we have to keep on doing what we want. And like the acting. You know, I remember coming on your show when we had the red carpet event. Yeah, so I've done a lot more acting, different movie clips. I was in Detroit and a couple of things.

14:53 Speaker 1: So wow.

14:54 Speaker 2: Yeah, I like the acting. So if you need an actress, let me know on a short film or something. Definitely that I feel like that's my passion.

15:02 Speaker 1: Oh really okay, interesting.

15:04 Speaker 2: Yeah I never thought that, but yeah, yeah, definitely.

15:09 Speaker 1: There's something really interesting you mentioned about interviewing people who are in prison, who are you know, not getting out, they're not coming home. How do how does that work logistically? Like? Is that is that challenging to set that up where they're gonna be I assume they're going to be on a phone talking to you like, how do how does is that hard to work out?

15:32 Speaker 2: Well, they have a they have laptops, some have cell phones. Yeah, it's all different. But yeah, I mean they they were showing me stuff on the interview that was crazy, like they could pop their just sell like that. So they were showing things that the world isn't aware of, about things that are happening in prisons. Yeah, and they showed it. It was live on the show. And it's like, I wasn't expecting that, and I even said, whatever happens on this episode, I'm not responsible. I didn't know. You know, these lifers aren't coming home, and so it's like they don't even get an opportunity.

16:15 Speaker 2: They were saying people that their family is supposed to write to them or show or put canteen. They don't even so they have to figure out a way inside to survive. And it's sad and you know, you think about I've seen something about the news yesterday about cancer is rising in the jails, and then you think about it. It's the food. The food is not healthy, and I don't understand why they don't turn around and make like it's simple. You know, we have indoor greenhouses, make it in every single jail.

16:53 Speaker 2: Make it a job for one of the prisoners. Then it's money being you know, circulated, and then maintain in it, and you know it's healthier for them. I guarantee the cancer will go down. I'm not a medical doctor, but I feel in my heart, just like the school lunches, if you switch it to healthiness or healthier per se, what your the ingredients are not artificial. I feel in my heart, old school, like my grandmother taught me, old school ways are better. Less ingredients. You're using natural herbs, you're not prosper Everything process process, everything's processed.

17:39 Speaker 2: And I didn't even know when I was growing up. I'll be forty eight in June. I never even knew when I was growing up. You know, look on the ingredients, Look on this. They don't teach you that when I was going to school, and it's like, okay, that should be part of health. That should be part of schools. That should be mantorb to show them or homec you know how you you're learning about measuring things like that, that's perfect. Have it half of a year of cooking and half of a year learning about you know, what is this process?

18:10 Speaker 2: What is this chemical that is going into you and studying it, and I guarantee these kids it will make them open their eye a little bit more.

18:19 Speaker 1: There's something I've always this is an unpopular opinion, but I've always felt that there's something deeply wrong on a societal level with us, because you know, and and you know, RFK talks about you know, processed foods and how it hurt. And don't get me wrong, I think RFK overall is a lunatic. But I think the one thing he does get right where he doesn't sound completely insane, is when he talks about processed food and how how much harm that's causing uh to to to people.

18:49 Speaker 2: And you know.

18:50 Speaker 1: But the thing that I I don't understand is why you know, almost almost right out of the shoot, when you're born, you've got all these people around you who allegedly love you, who are trying to shove as much fat and cholesterol and sugar which is you know, white sugar, which is poison into you. You know, almost almost immediately like you learn, like like you're taught again by these people who are supposed to be looking out for you. You're taught to like and enjoy the worst possible stuff for you.

19:27 Speaker 1: Oh, a birthday party, we got to have some cake. Oh you want to treat yeah, or here, have a cupcake. You know, it's it's weird. It it doesn't make any logical sense. And yet and you know, and then people are confused, like, well, oh why you know, why is obese toy such a problem. Why why is it that with every generation we have higher and higher rates of diabetes? Because this is just this weird thing in our culture, and I'm sure it exists in other countries as well. But it's like like almost from the day, like nobody has a chance because almost from the moment you're brought into the world, you are taught to enjoy things that are going to slowly kill you.

20:11 Speaker 1: Right, It's so bizarre. I don't know why we do it, but we do.

20:18 Speaker 2: Yes, so true, so true, It is true because I'm about when it comes to a birthday, you have to have a cake. That's just right. Then?

20:28 Speaker 1: Well, yeah, you're taught that right from when you're little.

20:31 Speaker 2: Yeah. Well when I was little, some birthdays I didn't even have a cake. So I made sure anybody that I know that if I rock with you, I'm making sure if it's your birthday if I can make it. Lately, I've been working a lot, it's been crazy, But yeah,

20:49 Speaker 2: cake is important. I feel like when you get to blow that candle O, it's different. It's like you're relieving your last year to a new beginning, sure for your life, if it makes sense, A little confused.

21:06 Speaker 1: Of but no, no, you got no, I totally get that. But wouldn't it be nice to put that candle on top of a healthy snack?

21:13 Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah, even salad like I don't. I don't, I don't rock on it like I definitely do. Like if I do a kid's birthday party and stuff, I do, have fruit salad, reckless.

21:22 Speaker 1: Salad, maybe a protein bar. You could shove the candle into the protein bar if it's soft enough.

21:26 Speaker 2: You know, yeah, definitely, there's not's wrong with that. I feel anything, or even a yogurt putting.

21:31 Speaker 1: On Ooh, I like that idea.

21:33 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, add some oats on top.

21:36 Speaker 1: Get that protein and yeah absolutely yeah, absolutely yeah. So that's that's my my rant on that. All right, we need to talk about how you found out, well sort of it depends on what I did.

21:52 Speaker 2: I found out I was pregnant with my son, it will be June will be he'll be sixteen years old. But having a big party, stud forget to forget.

22:01 Speaker 1: So so back, how, oh god, how many years ago? Now, it's so long ago, fifteen and a half. So at the time, a little little time travel here a little and some people already some of our listeners already know this story. But so at that time, so we were at what was at that time Millie's Tavern. Yes, yes, show doing a show. We had a show there. Your partner de Z the Gift. Were you married at that point?

22:27 Speaker 2: Yeah, my ex husband, yes.

22:28 Speaker 1: Okay, I couldn't remember if you were married yet. He was there. He was part of the show. Y, you were part of the show somehow, right? Were you on stage at some point?

22:38 Speaker 2: Yes? Well, actually Norm called me to the stage all right, right, okay, he says, I have something to tell you guys.

22:45 Speaker 1: Right, So Norm Moody, who I was his co host on a show called Norman Friends that we did right here in Manchester on Channel twenty three at the time for eight years. So for anyone who doesn't know, so Norm was a psychic and my rule on the show kind of evolved a little bit, but basically I was like the skeptical, sarcastic, smart ass sidekick, you know. I was. I was off in the fly and the ointment and uh, you know, trying to not derail everything. But but I was kinda when I was a little I was kind of a menace in some ways, you know.

23:22 Speaker 1: And I was I was just coost for eight years. But we would do events outside of that, and so he was I don't remember if it was like officially like a Norman friend's event that we were doing, I don't remember. I just remember Norm was involved, there were musicians involved. You and d Z were a part of the show. And and yes, so that night Norm told did he I can't remember though, did he Did he tell you on stage in front of everyone?

23:49 Speaker 2: Yes? He actually called me to the stage and no, because I wasn't feeling good that night.

23:55 Speaker 1: Yeah, I was mood.

23:56 Speaker 2: Yeah, I was just I wasn't feeling it. I didn't even want to go to the show. I just was I felt nauseous. Smells were bothering me, and I'm like, maybe I'm getting sick. But I went because to support him, and he went to the stage and then Norm called me to the stage and then he's like, you need to come up here. I need to tell you something

24:24 Speaker 2: for to both of you, to me and EAZ And I'm like, I'm looking at the Z I'm like, damn, he cheated on me and I'm about to get told them that's what I Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I'm like, I'm it's gonna be. We're gonna rumble on it. We're gonna get it all. We get to crack it. But that was the situation. It's like, so how far along are you? And I'm like what, It's like, how far along are you? And you haven't not one, but you haven't two. And I'm looking at I'm like, is this a prank? Because I know my body?

25:04 Speaker 2: But damn am I pregnant? Because I was just complaining to him on the way that I wasn't feeling good. So we're on the stage, I'm not feeling good. I feel like I'm gonna get sick. I'm like, is this true or not? I'm like I don't think so, and he's like, no, I'm serious. Norm kept saying that and he's like, you're gonna call me in a couple of days and you're gonna tell me that you're expected. So I went home. We're going home and I'm like, do you think that's true? And I don't know, So I'm like, let's stop.

25:35 Speaker 2: So I got a test the next day and I'm like, oh, I called d I'm like, D come here, come here, and he comes running in. I'm like, look at this. I was like, I gotta do another one because I bought a couple of them. I did it. I think two or three of them are all positive. I'm like, oh no, I'm I'm gonna call Matt right now and let him know that Norm was on on point. And then the story gets even more crazy. So my son is a twin. I lost my daughter. She was four months four months when I was pregnant, and when uh we did the ultrasound and they're saying twins and I'm like no way.

26:20 Speaker 2: So I screenshot. I think I even sent it to you. I was like, send this to Norm, please to let him know that he is arm point. So yeah, he's how is he?

26:32 Speaker 1: Well, he's dead, passed away. He passed away. Yeah, oh wow, yeah he's been gone a few years now. Yeah wow.

26:40 Speaker 2: He was a good guy.

26:41 Speaker 1: He was Yeah, he you know, he'd had various health issues, So it was in some ways, it was not necessarily a big surprise, but you know, and I hadn't been on the show with him for you know, several years, quite a few years at that point, so when he did pass away, so I wasn't, you know, up to speed on what was going on necessarily. But but yeah, yeah, so he is, uh he has he has left us. But but yeah, that is a that's a great story though.

27:09 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, definitely not. Every time I see you or Jenny, I always think of about that story because it's like, you know, it's good memories.

27:17 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I remember too and being pretty certain about it.

27:20 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, he was precise right on top. Yeah, yeah, right on, so he knew before I did.

27:25 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, were you were you skeptical? Uh like going into that, Like I don't know what your your feelings are generally about psychics and all of that. Like I'm I'm a natural skeptic, but I don't know what your uh your feelings are.

27:43 Speaker 2: I actually like psychics. I feel like it could be a guy, that angel coming through the persons. Yeah, tell him something. Yeah, because I've had a psychic contact me in the middle of the night when my brother passed away. Yeah, and she said he was going back a fool and she said she kept she was a a media and a psychic medium medium. Yes, and she said that she called me at eleven o'clock at night. I never answered when people are calling me on my messenger and I'm like, is this a stark girl, because I've had it happen like crazy stuff.

28:22 Speaker 2: And I'm like nah. And then she's like, Jackie, I need to talk to you. She's like, you don't know me, but someone that is just passed is trying to cross over and that's stock they need to I need you to contact the wow. And I'm like, okay, is this lady really playing with me? Because you know social media, you look at a picture, you just assume something like I'm not stupid. So long story short, I answered her and she goes, Jackie, I have three Jackies in my in my friend's list, and I have this person that's a male dark skin.

28:58 Speaker 2: He's trying to craw sova and he wants to. He wants to he needs to talk to you, and I'm like, it's my brother. Like it's my brother. I was like, oh my god. I started crying my eyes out and I'm like, okay. So this was probably like six months after he passed, and you know, I felt like when he crossed, when he passed, he didn't cross. I felt that, Yeah, just something I go to a cemetery life. It was, It's just I take care of it.

29:29 Speaker 1: Yeah.

29:30 Speaker 2: So I don't know. I just felt that, and people thought I was crazy and stuff. But when she contacted me, I knew I was right. And he was talking about how he passed. He he he said I was right, like my feeling about it and stuff like that, and he kept saying, drink lots of water, take care of your health. That's something he would always say, yeah, And I said okay, because he used to work out and drink water every day, so he would like motivate me. And then he'd be He started going to debt because I'm like, is this lady really serious?

30:10 Speaker 2: I'm like, what else do you see? He's like, well, I don't know how long he's going to be here for, but I just want as long as he's here to talk. He has a lot of information to tell you. So he was just going in and in and he was talking about our old memories together and I'm like, oh, my God, this is really him. And the crazy thing is he's like, I come to your room every night. That's what he was saying to her. Like he was just saying like a whole bunch of stuff to me, and I'm like, this is overwhelming.

30:41 Speaker 2: He's like, I appreciate you going to the cemetery cleaning and up. He was saying that to me and everything. So I was like, oh wow, that's that's that's that's like I felt grateful because I felt like he's talking to me. And then he brought up about my show. You know how I was telling you I was going to stop my show and he's like, you better not stop your show. He's like that, he was telling me that, So you know, he was just saying a lot of stuff and she was on point. She was on point, Like I said what's my favorite color?

31:14 Speaker 2: Because at first, like I'm not, I'm like, what's my favorite color? And he's like blue, and I was like okay. I was like, say some crazy stuff what we did together, and he said some crazy stuff like he wasn't saying in like full sentences, but he was saying it like I would understand, as though I was like, dang, he's really, like really here. He was there for three and a half hours talking to me. It was like three o'clock in the morning. When she's like, he's gone, and I was like wait because we were in the middle of a sentence and she goes, just no, he crossed over.

31:51 Speaker 2: It's gonna make me cry. But he crossed over, and I was with him and knowing that he's my ace, and like he went over, like I felt relieved, but also like that's what was I was feeling when I was going to the cemetery. You know what I'm saying, Like I knew what I was feeling that he didn't have that closure. Yeah, you know, And I seen him like a week before he passed. I was looking for him when he was missing and stuff like I was on It felt sick to me because I seen crows go by. I was like, he's dead, and I was like I was spasing on everybody.

32:36 Speaker 2: I was not find my brother. Find my brother. I was like, I don't want to hear it. And then when I got that call he got shot in the head. Oh my god, oh my god, like I wanted to lose I started flipping. I had so much anger, like anger, but.

32:51 Speaker 1: Did you did you know before you got the call, like, did you feel it?

32:55 Speaker 2: I knew he passed, but the thing was it was his mom's birthday. And then when his mom's birthday, she called me and she's like, have you seen him? And I was like, no, I haven't seen him. I seen I thought you had a picture with him. She's like yeah, but no one's seen him for twenty four hours. I'm like, that's not like him. So I started making calls. I'm like, that's not like him. I'm like, we're like, I'm calling his phone. It's ringing and ringing. I was like, get his phone, get his phone ping to find out where it where he's where his phone is?

33:30 Speaker 2: Trace that And I said that to the mom, and you know, I was kind of like hostile with but I felt it. I felt like, that's my ace, that's my everything, and you're gone. Like I felt it because I was at the beach. I went to the beach that morning and I seen the crows go by, and when I seen that, I threw up. And then when I threw up, I was like someone died. And the person I was with, they're like, no, that's just you're just saying. I was like, no, I want to. I get like this, someone died. I feel it inside me.

34:03 Speaker 2: My soul is empty, like it's weird, Like I could see psychic things like little things. Yeah, and I seen I seen woods and I kept seeing woods like a vision. And I'm like, someone's dead in the woods. And I'm like, something's not right. And then his mom called me right when those crows were going by. I was like, traces my phone. I'm gonna be on the I'm getting a car. I'm going to look for him. I'm gonna find him. I'm gonna find him. And she's like, oh, don't, don't pin it too much. I'm like, no, it's been twenty four hours.

34:33 Speaker 2: Someone nobody's seen him. I was like, it's not right because I already seen what was happening. Yeah, So I turn around. I got the car. My girl was driving me. It pinged to me interested in the Hampshire where we're at ninety five point three FM. We're out here with Matt Connaughty shut out to Matt. But it pined out here, but it was all woods and his mom sent me the address I'm going. So my girl came to gribbed me my god, since mom King. She picked me up and we went to the woods. We're heading into the woods and I'm like some like, I just something wasn't sitting right.

35:12 Speaker 2: I'm five minutes from the woods and I said, I feel like he's dead. I smelled blood and I was like, he's dead. And I got that call and his mom is telling me he's dead. She's like, get to Lynn, immediately, get to Linn. Get to the house. Oh shoot. I was like, flip the car around because we're out here. Lynn is what hour hour and a half from here?

35:38 Speaker 1: From here on probably an hour. Yeah.

35:40 Speaker 2: So I'm like, oh, I have my friend. I'm like I'm gonna I'm gonna take a car. I need someone's car. I need to be mobile. I need to be done in it. My girl gave me her car. I shot over there. I was like, this is a horror movie. I seen the young I can't even get to the street. I see clock cars every where, the yellow tape. They blocked the whole street, Layton Street off and I'm like, oh man, this is nuts. This is nuts. Like I need to get over there. That's my family, that's my aunt's house, you know.

36:11 Speaker 2: So I'm like, what the heck's going on. I turn around, I get to stop a shop. I'm gonna I'm gonna leave the car and I'm gonna run. I'm gonna run over to where they're at. It's like maybe five streets away. So I get to the car, I mean to the parking lot where stopping shop is, and I see the the body go by. Oh God, and I was like, damn, that's my brother. But I felt like it was him saying goodbye to me because

36:46 Speaker 2: it was me and his one on one for him to go by, and how all of it. I kept spending the block for forty five minutes, so I felt like it was him delaying to see him, you know what I mean. But that didn't stop me. I went to the where he was and I didn't know that they don't clean up. I almost fainted, flipping, flipping, But it's like, you know, that's my brother forever. And everyone could say, oh, he's different skin tone, but you don't know what we've been through. Like he was the one that was solid for me if I needed to cry about breaking up with his brother a bo the divorce and things like that, that was the one I could go to and trust on everything on everything that's my son's godfather and uncle, you know what I mean.

37:41 Speaker 2: So it's like family flee me, but you don't know when life is gonna be tossed oct And it's like people need to appreciate life, not take life for granted. I don't have time for hating. I don't have time for

38:00 Speaker 2: being jealous of someone. We need to unite, We need to come together. We need to be together and fight for our life right now because everything was a turmoil. And it's like, you know, our children need a life for the future, and if we don't make it better for them, what life are they going to have. It's just a turmoil. I mean, like I said, we used to leave the doors unlocked, your neighbor you could trust and things like that. Now you gotta double up, locked everything, check everything. It's crazy.

38:34 Speaker 1: The reason, by the way, so the reason I asked you about did you feel like you felt them leave? You know, is because this relates to someone you've met but who is no longer with us. Do you remember Steve Blake?

38:49 Speaker 2: Why is that sound familiar?

38:51 Speaker 1: So you and de Z were on his podcast This was a lot. This would have been around the same time you would come up to Manchester. We were doing his podcast at a diner.

39:03 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I remember that. Yeah, he passed away.

39:06 Speaker 1: He passed away. Yeah, he's he's actually been gone for for quite a while now. But so I will just because I don't know, it feels like the moment to do it, I guess because we're talking about it and it's someone you know or knew. I know you didn't meet him, you didn't know him very well, but you probably meet him a few times because he was always around. Yes, but Steve. So there was a night remember remember Styling Souls. Yes, we used to do events there and I did hypnosis there. So there was a night that I was there after a a hypnosis session with somebody, and I'm there at the computer and I'm just doing whatever I was doing.

39:42 Speaker 1: And I've never this is something. Not only have I never shared this publicly, I've never told anyone this. I've never told anyone this. I'm sitting there, it was probably I don't know, around eight thirty nine o'clock at night, I'm kind of getting ready to go home, and all of a sudden, I just felt I felt very heavy, like I felt this enormous loss, and I actually started crying, like really crying, and I'm not a crier, and I had no idea what was happening to me. I don't know, you know, and It'll lasted a few minutes, but I just felt like this enormous sense of loss all of a sudden, and I was crying, and it was very very strange.

40:26 Speaker 1: Hasn't nothing. I haven't experienced anything quite like that since, But yeah, it was just odd. And then when I was done and I pulled myself together for you know, whatever reason this was happening to me, you know, I went home and whatnot. And then first thing in the morning the next day, I get a call and it's Esther, who was Steve's wife. Wow, And as soon as I heard her voice on the phone, I knew, Like before she even told me, I knew. And I now looking back on it, you know, and look, I'm not one of these people who says, oh, there are no you know, no coincidences.

41:05 Speaker 1: Of course, there are coincidences. But but she told me, you know, because I asked as well, when did he pass? She said, you know, she was vague about the time, but she said, last night. I found him last night. He was he was unconscious, and I've just always kind of thought, because I don't know how else to explain what I was experiencing. It just seemed to me. I think I felt him leave.

41:32 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I felt that when I see the crows, I just didn't know who it was. Precise died and I lost my aunt prior to that, my grandmother and my ace. Like I said in many like Rest the Soul, Legend king og Don Hazel, he was the director of the movie he passed away. Then legend La La that's the lady I go in Don Hazel the Gangster Movie against her. In the movie he passed away like one year after Dawn Haynes. So it's like all these funerals I can't even hear from one, and it's just getting hit. I got hit with like eleven in two years, and they were all close to me, and my heart was like rip this way, ripped this way, ripped this way, and it's like my brothers.

42:23 Speaker 2: Though in my other ace, Keana restaursoul Angelized. I felt those two. When I say I felt it my Keanna, that's my godson's mother. I was actually supposed to be due on her. My son was supposed to be due on my birthday, but I wanted to be selfish June nineteenth. It's a holiday now baby, but she my son was supposed to be do We were both pregnant at the same time, our whole pregnancies, and we both found out we're having the boy. We're ecstatic and long story short, when she passed, I felt it. I seen it.

43:12 Speaker 2: I had a dream. I had a dream she was in a ballroom all in beige dressed beige shirt and she was in a big ballroom, makeup, looking beautiful, dancing. And I got that call when I was having that dream, and I felt so sick. I started yelling the grandmother. I was like, no, my aunt. I was like no, I was just wear her last night. There's no way, no way, And she's like, no, it's true. You need to get over here. Everyone's over here, the cops. I'm like what. I'm like, no, I what time is it. I was like lost, Like I just dreamt of her.

43:54 Speaker 2: There's no way. I'm like, there's no way. On my fine, my ace, And you know, I had to clean the blood on her bed because it's my godson's room. Nobody wants to do it. And I'm like, I'm not I'm not gonna leave it. I gotta clean it up, you know what I mean. So everyone's like put gloves on, put this mask, and I was like, no, I'm not gonna do that. That's my best friend. Like, and I didn't even think to put gloves or anything because that's my best friend. Ye to know that that's her blood light, oh you know, So it's like visions I seen that's and when I seen her the night before, that feeling I got, like when we go like this to each other, and I got a feeling I was never going to see her again.

44:50 Speaker 2: I felt it. I felt it. And if I ever get that feeling, I got it with my brother and I ran back to him to give him a hug and a kiss because I got that failing that I'll never see them again. And when I get that failing, that's why I always say, when you love somebody, you have to say I love you to them and give hugs and be affectionate because you never know. Today's not promise, never mind tomorrow. And that's very important. No matter like suicide is such a high. We just lost that rapper. He was twenty something years old this week and you know, it's okay to get help.

45:31 Speaker 2: If you ever feel like you want to hurt yourself or you want to harm someone, it's okay. Get the help first before you do it, because your family is going to suffer tremendously. And if you hurt somebody or kill somebody, it's going to hurt two families, not one, but two, your family and their family. So it's important because people don't understand that that you know, retaliation or whatever the case may be. He is, no, that's not the way, and we need to reach out to this younger, younger generation.

46:04 Speaker 2: The youth needs us. They lost for sauce, very lost for sauce. You know, we got to start getting them back how we were growing up and uniting with everyone, because now it's not about unite. You know, it's different cultures, different gangs, different society, society, and you need to unite. Everybody needs to unite and come together. That's that, that's what we need to do. We need to keep praying. I say, keep your prayer, peace up, prayers up, positive, and that's what we need to do.

46:43 Speaker 1: Well, very well said. So we are we are rapidly running out of time. It goes so quickly.

46:48 Speaker 2: Wow, we did. We managed a lot of stuff, making I feel accomplished.

46:53 Speaker 1: I knew we would, but I do want to make sure so before we run out of time The Icy Show. We want to remind people about that. Where to find it when it's I don't know if you're on any kind of a set schedule or if it's just it's on when it's on. I got you, mate, so.

47:05 Speaker 2: You can check me on my podcast, The Icy Show. It is local internationally. It is at six pm Easter times. I try to be on daily, but you know, sometimes with life and working and everything, it gets pushed back to the days. But it is always lined up and promoted. Anybody that is on my show, I try to do a month out. We are booking until April right now. Good morning, Jay's Sunshine. She's one of a great model. She has a brand in Boston, so check her out. Also, everybody on Worldwide Collaboration. That's Family Icy Show, Family Worldwide and Legal Mob Entertainment Queen Miss b K. So everybody keep on shining.

47:50 Speaker 2: Don't let nothing stop you. You know, like I said, there's a lot of evil out there, and I believe in the power of the prayer. That we can change that by keep on over the evil, and we could do that, just stay positive and keep on doing. No one's life is perfect. Everyone's going through something, but always no prayers work. Remember our grandparents, our ancestors, they used to pray for us. That's why we're still here, you know. And that's what I gotta say. And also shut out to the Jails and Wilkins, Barber Sharp, Mark Stelli and yeah, the list goes on your boy custom clothes.

48:29 Speaker 2: Though I can't forget you guys, and so everybody, you know, if I forgot you, you know, I apologize. But you know you're all blessings in my eyes. And you're a shining star from the Icy Show. You know that's important. We're all stars and we gotta we get our star when we go to heaven. But also our star is here now.

48:47 Speaker 1: So and when's your next one? When's your next edition of the show?

48:51 Speaker 2: It is this week. I don't have my book with me, Matt, I'm sorry, but follow me Jackie Brown with two c's j A C C I E Brown Me on YouTube hashtag Icy Show ic C Y s H O w W. And shut out to Mimi Diamond and Red rubies. Salute to all three of my Queen's done, my assistants. Much love and respect to all of you, and you know always we're all royal. But keep the loyal going and that's important because people don't do that nowadays. And also you know the Icy Shows eight year anniversary is coming up on second, so I will be given free eighty lunches out every year.

49:36 Speaker 2: I always do how many years i'm out there, so I provide eighty three lunches, it will be ninety because I always do ten more and then they'll always go less than an hour and a half. And it's a good feeling because everyone smiles and smile goes a long way instead of being miserable and mad and angry all the time. That's the problem. People need to smile, being easy on the gas out there and stuff like that.

50:03 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I agree. Well, this has been wonderful and wonderful to have you here. We got to do this more often. Let's not let another what three years go by?

50:09 Speaker 2: Yes, one more thing, Matt, I'm sorry, don't forget tomorrow night APM to Massachusetts. I will be a judge tomorrow. It's the Ladies all performance, great lineup, come check us out Bayhallas in the building from Boston six one chef and she's another judge, and show up to loud House one more time for asking me to be a judge on your platform. And let's get it tomorrow night top in Massachusetts, APM type security and let's go.

50:38 Speaker 1: Respect excellent. Thank you so much, and uh, of course thank you to Caitlin Piper and of course Jim from Howling Hawk also for joining us today. If you miss any part of today's show, it will be up in just a little bit at Wmnhradio dot org and of course at my website Matt Coonnorton dot com. And that's gonna do it for us for now. We're out of here. Ge girl again, thank you so much.

50:58 Speaker 2: You're ninety five point three, went back, called it to left start.

51:02 Speaker 1: Bye, everybody,