Matt Connarton Unleashed 5-25-24 hour 1

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org. We've now reached It's the three day weekend that officially kicks off the

summer season, a time for hanging at the beach, barbecuing, even catching

a few laps of the five hundred. But Memorial Day is also the most

solemn American holiday, a day to remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice while

defending their nation. The Civil War America's bloodiest chapter. Over six hundred thousand

soldiers killed in action. Almost every community in every state suffered the loss of

young men. As the war came to an end. Mourners in both northern

and southern states began placing flags and flowers on the graves of fallen so the

town of Waterloo, New York, is officially credited with starting the holiday.

On May fifth, eighteen sixty six, its citizens closed their shops and businesses

so that everyone could decorate the graves of the men killed during the war.

Then an old war general had an idea. John A. Logan was the

leader of a Union veteran association. He spearheaded an effort to unite all the

decoration services into one national holiday, designating May thirtieth as Decoration Day. On

the first National Decoration Day eighteen sixty eight, five thousand war widows, orphans,

and other mourners gathered at Arlington National Cemetery. They placed flowers and ribbons

on the twenty thousand graves of both Union and Confederate soldiers. Two future presidents

and fellow Union veterans, Ulysses Grant and James A. Garfield, attended the

ceremony. Throughout the nineteenth century, Decoration Day grew. Ceremonies were held in

major See Civil War battlefields like Gettysburg, Pennsylvania and Antietam Field in Maryland.

By the end of the century, the holiday was renamed Memorial Day, but

war wounds ran deep. Most Southern states refused to commemorate a holiday they regarded

as honoring Union soldiers, so each state commemorated their war dead with different Confederate

decoration days. Several Southern states continue the tradition to this day. World War

I ushered in the age of modern warfare. America lost over one hundred and

thirty thousand soldiers in the global conflict. This shared experience finally bonded America's North

and South when the war ended. May thirtieth became a day to honor all

American soldiers who died in battle as far back as the Revolutionary War. America

interred its first unknown soldier in Arlington National Cemetery on Armistice Day, nineteen twenty

one. Every Memorial Day, this soldier and other unknown soldiers are honoured with

a wreath layings ceremony conducted by the President or Vice President. They are reminders

of all those who never made it home. Memorial Day became the federal holiday

in nineteen seventy one, and Congress shifted it from May thirtieth to the fourth

Monday in May, giving federal workers a three day weekend. All across America,

veterans and civilians still gather in parades and vigils to remember the generations who

gave their lives for their nation's freedom. All right, stop, said Francisco

to NYC. And everyone wants to talk about me when I run by the

lady scream when you coming out with Jerry. You know, I'm really cool,

very handsome too. I am not some stupid fool. You know what.

Let me tell you who I am. I'm the man. I do

what I want because I can. I'm the best. All of you losers.

I just stop pass I gets loaded full of cash. I'm the MOA,

you're the grass. I'm aron Star. You will see I've gotten more

money than MTV. I'm not very mean. Silver Fox on the scene.

I love with win. All the ladies scream the man. I do what

I want because I can. I'm the best all of you losers not just

not past what anything, gentlemen, that's you're on the guitar. I demand

I do what I want because I can. I'm the best. All of

you los are not just stop passing im. I do what I want because

I can. I am the best all of you Rs are not just stop

past. This isn't Jerry Robinson. You have been served all the best.

Jerry, you're listening to w M and H Commander, don't get supreme Leada,

Maxwell Cobby. Good morning everybody. Here we go, Happy Memorial Day

weekend. It is that time again. Matt Connorton unleashed and we are live

from the studios of w m n H ninety five point three FM Inglorious of

Manchester, New Hampshire on Canal Street. All so you can stream the show

from anywhere if you go to wm Andhradio dot org, or you can go

to my website Matt Connorton dot com. Slash live gets access to the stream

as well as the all the social media links contact infoshow, archives, et

cetera, et cetera. It is Saturday May twenty five, twenty twenty four,

and I am not alone. Jenny Jest Good morning Sunshine. Yes,

Jenny is here at the news table. I am present, in accounted for

on this glorious day. Yes, yes, we have a great show for

you today. Both. Yeah, another busy Saturday. In the second hour,

we have Dad Harrison, one of our favorite bands, joining us.

In the third hour, Nancy Manette all the way from Texas is up in

the area. She's going to be coming in, She's going to be coming

in. We have Eric Pilcher's classic film review and this week he's chosen Born

on the fourth of July, so we'll be featuring that later as well.

But right now, returning to the show, and uh, not our first

time on the show, but our first time live in studio with us.

We have doctor Bethany Bilideau with us. Welcome, good morning. How are

you or a doctor? Be as I see your Uh you like to be

called online or is that? Is that what everyone calls you at work?

Doctor b Typically if they're not mad at me, Yes, okay, you're

here. So even as an adult, when you hear your full name,

you just know yes, gotcha, gotcha? And uh well let's let's open

it this way. Congratulations, you just want an award? I did,

Thank you so much. Yeah, tell us about it. So our organization

was voted to be the New Hampshire Business of the Year in the area of

education. Oh, congratulations, congratulations. That's awesome, pretty exciting for all

the changes that we've been able to do and a lot for the pro bono

work that we provide the community. Yeah, so, yeah, so tell

us about that. Tell us you know, because a lot of our listeners

probably may not have heard our previous conversation. And part of why we were

so interested in having you back and having you in studio is because I we

really enjoyed us speaking with you. But tell us again about what you do

and then we'll get into some details. So, in a nutshell, what

we do is we provide behavioral support strategies to school districts for both the staff

as well as the students. So by doing that, we're actually creating alternative

education programs typically, and within those alternative education programs, we take students that

display intensely disruptive behaviors and we then reintegrate them into the classes that they were

formally usually attending but because of their disruptive behaviors, have not been able to

access those classes. So we do that by teaching them safety skills, regulation

skills, and then doing some of the tougher stuff where we're working on social

emotional learning and all the other strategies. And then we disappear into the woodwork

and we're gone leave that district and work with someone else. There's never a

shortage of work. I can imagine. I can imagine, especially since in

a way, I mean you're the kind of work that you're doing. I

would imagine it's not a field that a lot of or a specialty. I

should probably say that a lot of people in your field necessarily want to get

into, right, because I have to tell you it sounds extraordinarily challenging,

you know, the moment you're talking about disruptive kids and behavioral issues with kids

students, it's like it sounds overwhelming challenging, But I will say, hugely

entertaining at times, and there's never a dull moment, like you're doing something

at all times, and the difference in the progress that you can see in

the students is just miraculous. We had a student that staff was talking to

me about yesterday that had been on our case load and he was suspended fifteen

times last school year. Wow. His aggressive behaviors and the fact that he

was eloping from the school on you know, pretty much on a daily basis.

And he got the Citizenship of the Year award this school year. Wow,

and is off our case flowed. Yep. He is no longer with

us, and that's when we say goodbye. You know, oh, that's

incredible. That's incredible. So that must be the kind of thing that makes

it all worth it. It really does, and that is, you know,

one of thousands of stories where we come in, we provide what they

need, We give them the strategies and the skills. We do the same

thing with the educators and then we try to get out you know, yeah,

give them back their schools and everything else. And we do this by

training them, but we're also training the students in the same way. We

should mention too, because you one of the school districts you work with obviously

is Guildford, New Hampshire, and we have a mutual friend. It turns

out Mike. You Mike Lachlan, who a very very talented musician, and

he's been on the show a bunch of times over the years, and I

used to work with him. Well. When I first met Mike, he

and I were working for the same company. When those who've been in the

area long enough might remember Strawberries, we had a location in Guildford and Mike

and I worked there together for for a while. But we've worked together two

over the years and in other ways too. In the music business. He

uh uh, there's another show that I host on another station that actually started

with Mike as the original host. Oh that's so neat. And then he

kind of passed the baton to me because he didn't really have time for it

to do it every week. And uh, but yeah, Mike's jeez,

I've known Mike for oh more than two Wow, where does the time go?

More than twenty years now? But yeah, yeah, such such a

talented guy and just a really good, really good dude. He is.

He's a great guy, absolutely absolutely. Now, so you mentioned so how

long are you in a school district, because you said you're you're, you're,

you're there to help, but then at a certain point your your work

there is done quickly one to two years. So we're there as long as

we're needed, but I will say after usually a year to two years,

we're not. So typically when we come into a school district, we're providing

all the professional development and we're you know, also providing the direct supports to

the students that have some of the more intense behaviors, and once they're not

displaying those intense behaviors, we're starting to transition out. Okay, So at

that point in time, there really is no need for us to continue.

That's what we specialize in, and we're not setting up camp and staying in

the district for years and years on. And some of the districts we just

transition to other programs or to different schools, so we might start in their

high school and then go to their middle or elementary and then rotate back after

a period of time. Because of turnover, we have to teach and that

sort of thing to more of the staff and the newer staff and that sort

of thing. But for the most part, we're usually out within one to

two years, okay, and that's the goal. Yeah, if you're just

joining us, we have doctor Bethany Billideo here with us, a doctor be

as she's also known, live in studio. The studio line is open if

you have any questions or feedback or anything at all for our guests six three

two five six seven six O three two five o six seven. Of course,

you can also interact into opine in our Facebook live chat, or you

can comment at Matt connorton dot com slash live. You can text us at

six one seven nine one four seven six, But of course the best thing

to do is give us a call on the studio line six O three two

five O six o seven, and I do see some folks in the Facebook

live chat. Uh Miriam vanishes in the chat room. And Miriam, of

course works with works with kids in in Bedford. Yeah, oh I don't.

I don't know if I know her. Hi, Miriam, how are

you? Yeah? Miriam is wonderful, Yeah, but she has her her

job is also very very challenging. And uh, who else said I seen

here? Isaac Banks is in there and uh b Penard good morning b and

uh Jay Fed of course from the great state of Vermont, also in the

chat room, and uh Sarah Patno also in the chat room, says morning,

good morning. Uh. She says, uh, how can education access

your training if not local? Ah, great question. Yes, So we

do a lot of traveling outside of New Hampshire. I'm actually headed to Texas

next week. I'm headed to Florida the following month. I'm headed to Mississippi

the month after that. So we do travel around quite a bit. But

they can also access our free trainings that we do on Thursday. We do

a free training every Thursday through the Behavior boot Camp. They can sign up

for that and just jump on and ask a behaviorist questions, talk about their

specific challenge that they might have, those sorts of things. We also offer

a course there as well, at the behavior boot Camp. So do you

do that every Thursday? Yeah? We do the live webinar every Thursday.

Wow, And we hold it at various times and people just need to go

and sign up for it. But it's one of the ways that we can

work with our community and really access how people are struggling with their specific scenarios

and everything. So okay, excellent, joins us in the Facebook live chat,

says, good morning, Good morning Emily and Emily Picard. That's a

day of Emily's She says, how can we fight fatigue throughout the school year?

Most school staff I talk to are exhausted. Yeah, most people are

exhausted. Let's be real, Well, this is a question I probably get

on a daily basis. I'm actually doing a Facebook live on this topic actually

on Monday, and I think some of the biggest things are we need to

oxygenate our bodies and things like that. Without getting into all the technical jargon

of it and that sort of thing, but I'll say that you typically the

fastest way that I do it is I either try to get people outside for

a few minutes to get some more vitamin D in that sort of thing,

drinking water. Oftentimes I'll be like, oh, I have this errand can

you run up to the library and drop this off, even if it's a

send that student back down to me sort of thing. Or I'll try to

get a staff to walk with me somewhere. If I notice that they're really

intense and stressed about a situation, I'll say, I'd love to talk to

you. Can you just go with me for a moment, And I'll try

to find some stairs where we have to go up or down the stairs in

order for them to push kind of that oxygen throughout the body and those of

medium acids into the muscle groups and all that fun stuff. But water,

a little bit of movement, vitamin D, you know, those things can

work, wonders. Vitamin B is also a huge one too, So if

you you know, in a lot of countries are supplementing with vitamin B instead

of other medications, So making sure that you're getting enough vitamin B is huge.

Yeah, Jenny makes sure, Jenny, make sure you Jenny, you

work on most New Englanders. Most New Englanders do have low vitamin D levels

because we typically don't get it on the sun. I know, obviously check

with your own doctor and do what your primary recommends. In our situation,

our primary recommends twenty five hundred I use in this in the spring summer months

and then the fall five thousand I use. Yeah, but definitely check with

your doctor because it is a super common thing, especially here in New England.

And unless you're standing outside without your clothing on, you're not probably gonna

get enough vitamin D. I mean, that's just how it is. And

as my husband would say, that's not professional to do that. So we

just recommend and if you are spending time out in the sun, make sure

you're wearing sun block because then you have the opposite. So it's really it's

that delicate balance to keep our health in line for us one percent, Yeah,

and if you're feeling fatigued, that's a huge part of it. In

quality sleep, there's so many people that I work with that don't get good

quality sleep, and there's so many simple hacks to get good quality sleep.

My husband always makes fun of me because I go to bed, I've got

the eyemask on I've got my lips taped together so I breathe through my nose

and this and that, and he's like, you're a sexy animal. Bethnally,

that is just screaming. You know, you're sleeping better I do,

which makes me much a much kinder person. Yeah, it's funny you mentioned

that because as a hypnotherapist, I'll you know, people come to me for

various things. Quitting smoking is the number one thing. But I'll always ask

during the pre talk and Miriam nosis, she's a client of mine, I

always ask, is there anything else? You know, because you can add

as many things as you want to into a session. We usually have the

main thing, but we can add other things. And the biggest thing that

I hear is, yeah, my sleep isn't great, or or I'll ask,

I'll you know, they might not mention it, and I'll always ask,

by the way, how do you sleep, because a lot of people

will tell me, you know, they don't go into the session thinking about

that, but they'll say, oh, now to mention it, Yeah my

sleep isn't great. Yeah, yeah, And that's becoming a huge thing in

hypnosis, which I'm sure that you're starting to get more and more people,

and we're definitely directing people in that area. I was listening to an audiobook

this morning on the origins of hypnosis and all of that, and it's becoming

the huge thing to help access sleep self hypnosis and those sorts of pieces to

get yourself to sleep better. Yeah, and all that. So fighting fatigue,

yeah, definitely check it out. Absolutely. Miriam also mentioned and this

leads into a question she said, oh, sorry, here it is.

She says, I work in intensive needs and we've had short staff in the

last two weeks. And the question that that brings to mind for me is

have you noticed, because I mean, obviously you know we're post pandemic,

but it's still a problem in schools, right, you know, much of

a problem, more so now than it was the first couple of years outside

of COVID. Really yeah, yeah, why significantly more. And one I've

got to say, Miriam, I give you a round of applause for showing

up to work because that is huge right now. The tardiness and also you

know, people calling out that's significant because and it's mainly because of the fatigue

issue. So that is just huge. So and we've seen it more and

more now, and it's because of the stress level that people have. They're

so much more aware of things that are going on due to social media,

due to people talking about things and all of that, that their stress level

is significantly increased over what it was a few years ago. So what kind

of things can people like Miriam do who are in situations where they are short

staff. So obviously that's more stress. It's what can you do when you're

in that situation to reduce your own stress or keep your head in the game

a little bit easier than it's overwhelming. It is overwhelming. I think prioritizing

is one is making sure, like I've got to address safety issues first,

make sure you know what the priorities are in your establishment. So figure out

how to prioritize, keep that task, and take a moment for self care,

which I know that this is sometimes hard to do. And you're saying,

oh my gosh, I'm so stressed. I can't go pee because I'm

so stressed, and I can't leave this person or so on and so forth.

That's when you need to reach out for help. And I know that

that's a really really hard thing to do, but reach out to help and

say I need someone to come cover this for a few minutes. I've got

to use the bathroom, even if it's a matter of I'm just standing in

the bathroom stall taking a few breaths, you know, work on your breathing.

Make sure that that exhalation is longer than the inhalation, because that will

force your body into the area of the nervous system that you want it in

so that you can be the most rational at that point in time, because

otherwise you're going to be functioning in the fight or flight. You're going to

be releasing tons of cortisol. You're going to be really overstressing your body,

which is going to put you at risk at being sick, not getting as

good sleep, in all of those other things. Yeah, yeah, absolutely,

Marian, you're on fire girl. You go. She is. She's

awesome. Yeah, she says. My school treats me well and show so

much appreciation. That helps. They are great. I've been in Bedford.

Oh, okay, excellent, excellent. I would imagine too. I don't

know if the and I've never thought to ask Miriam about this, but you

know, we we are in an economy where nobody seems to have enough help.

Does that affect schools too? So it affects schools so much. There

there are so many times where I've been in a building where they've said,

uh, I don't know what to tell you. We've had to pull staff

and so on and so forth, and the you know, they're not able

to provide the level of service that they would expect that they would be able

to provide. It is a huge issue. And with things rising, I

mean you see in all industries pretty much that they have increased the rates of

pay and that sort of thing. Those impact those systemic organizations a little bit

later. So school districts end up with those rate increases a little bit later

on. So it's really challenging for them to find people, yeah, to

come in and provide those services. And that significantly impacts the stress levels of

everyone else because they're constantly trying to find ways to cover things. And that

affects the kids too, right, So it's so much affects the kids.

It's really the concept about how to do more with less. And we train

this all the time, how to do more with less because we have less

humans, So how can we teach students more of these skills? How can

we teach staff more of these skills so that they can reach more people,

so that the needs will decrease over time. Yeah, Sarah, patno asks.

I hear a lot about biohacking. What is that? Honest to goodness,

I was watching a documentary about that last night. Oh my gosh,

Sarah, you sneaky. So I am probably you know, and many people

don't know this about me, but I am. I am all about biohacking.

I am in on it. We I do it continuously. I mean

just you know, on a daily basis. Even things like I get up

in the morning, I have my lemon water with my prebiotic in it.

You know, in the last couple of SIPs, I put my cayenne pepper

in and take a shot of that. All of those are biohacking. It's

just a matter of getting your body to function that what is biohacking. Biohacking

is when you're you are actually utilizing your body systems to create an environment that

you're looking for, versus the other way around, versus your body systems creating

it the other way around. Okay, I was watching last night said his

intention is to live to be one hundred and eighty. Oh, you must

have been listening to Dave Asbury. I think it was. Yeah, yeah,

crazy, Yeah, he is very well known in that field. Isaac

Banks says, I've been drinking sprite zero sugar. That's probably not on the

biohacking menu. That soda is out. Energy drinks they're out. What I

mean, there are some things that you know you can utilize to create you

know, you add electrolytes to your water and those sorts of things. But

the traditional energy drinks, yeah, are not not real healthy, even the

sugar free ones, even the sugar free So what do you drink? Just

lemon water? I drink water, water, I drink nothing but water.

I drink a lot of water. I drink I say that again. Te

Yes, I drink a ton of tea. Oh tea is allowed. Yeah,

I drink a ton of tea. I do drink coffee. I drink

coffee. Some camps say yes, some camp say no. My camp says

yes. I like your camp. So I drink coffee that has trace minerals

added to it. And I also drink coffee that is has different sorts of

medicinal mushrooms added to it. Oh. Interesting yeah, yeah, with caffeine

or no caffeine, caffeine, why would you drink decaffinated coffee? Well,

that's that's that's the thing, because that's good because I want to drink a

coffee and it tastes gone and just like man. And although you know,

I've had a lot of people are like, you do not need caffeine,

girl about me, But if they haven't seen you without it, they don't

know. True, how would they know? Yeah, that is true.

I think today and yep, I love I love coffee. I look forward

to it more than those things in life. I have to say. Somebody

was asking, oh yeah, Sarah asked this question too, or made this

comment. She says, uh, I saw a Facebook story about when kids

get detention they do yoga instead of sitting. The detention rate dropped due to

the students being more regulated. That's interesting that. Yeah, yeah, that's

such a great idea. Yeah, yeah, we do a lot. We

never call it yoga. We have a lot of young men in our programs

and yoga's not real well really no, we call it get it body positionings,

a lot of position and they're okay with that. Yeah. Yeah,

every now and then they'll say, doctor b this looks a little like yoga,

and I'll be like, really, no, maybe I love that.

Are you trying to pull one over on us? Oh? Miriam said,

I have an app on my phone that reminds me to drink water. Yeah,

I get the impression. I've and I've always thought this that that's like

the number one thing that people don't do that they should be doing health wise

is drinking enough water. Absolutely absolutely, and you can tell I mean that

when people don't have enough water. I'll say probably more than ninety five percent

of our student population shows up dehydrated every day. That I totally believe that.

Yep. And then they're like, oh, here's this car based breakfast.

You know. So between those two things, so you have control over

encouraging someone to drink water in a school, that's an easy thing to do

so. And water is you know, one of the regulators that works for

all human beings. So we often encourage people, you know, drink water,

fill your water bottles, you know, water the plants, fill up

the dog bowl, do all those things that encourage you to be around water.

That yeah, so and a lot of times we just carry empty water

bottles with us and we have kids like here you go, go fill it

up, that one's yours and everything, just so that they have water bottles

on them because they don't often have containers to put water in, so if

they need to get a drink, they have to go to a water fountain.

I'm telling you, it becomes a mess within minutes. They put the

water in their mouth and then they spit it all over themselves or you.

They're just regulated, so you know, and then it becomes this battle.

You know. I'm usually just like whatever, it's just water, We're fine,

Yeah, but that you know, then that's got to be cleaned up.

Somebody might fall and everything else. But if you have a water bottle,

then you don't necessarily need to leave the classroom right right now? How

did you and I know we talked about this last time, but for listeners

who didn't hear it, how did you get started in doing what you do?

Because as I mentioned earlier, it sounds like, you know, it

sounds like a realm that so many people would just be terrified of. Yeah,

really to get into. So how did you start so it had?

I want to say it probably started in childhood for me because I wasn't a

great student in elementary school, and I went to school in a very very

old building, had lots of nooks and crannies and everything else, and I

knew where every single one of them was because those where I would I So

when I was supposed to be in class, I was all over the building

and doing things that I probably shouldn't have in elementary school. By middle school

is a little bit more on track. And then at the end of middle

school, I had a family member who passed away that was pretty significant,

and I ended up sort of buckling down and doing what I needed to do

and became this very quiet, more introverted person except when I was in sports.

But I will say, like my mother would always yearly get that letter

of your child is not going to pass, she's not going to graduate,

you know, so on and so forth. Because I missed so much school,

so as soon as sports weren't in session, I was sick. And

I say air quotes because I know people can't see me air quotes sick because

I just didn't want to go to school. So school is really really tough

for me. And then when I had my first child, he really struggled

with those social environments was really intense and they termed it physically aggressive. You

know, people are like, oh, no, it'll be great, it'll

be fine until your kid bites their kids and then they call and they're mad.

So you know, after three day carees, we found a great organization

that provided ot therapeutic supports within their school settings. So it was a Montessori

based school that also did a lot of regulation strategy. He did fantastic,

had some struggles in elementary school, but by the middle of elementary school he

was doing great and everything else, and I said, this is like my

home. When I went to that school, I was I could totally this

is where I want to be. And at that point I had been working

with adults who experienced disabilities, and I said, I really want to work

with youth more. And I was living out of state and the woman who's

still the special ed director in Guildford School District contacted me and said, Bethany,

we need your programs. Can you come back? And so I started

the organization because of that, and that's why Gilford is one of my home

districts. And Esther Kennedy has been key to helping us kind of evolve over

the years. Okay, okay, and so now so how long how long

has it been that you've been doing that? Almost nineteen years okay, okay,

excellent, and I've been in the field for close to thirty. Yeah,

that colon these different school districts that you go into, I mean,

I mean, I assume some are more challenging than others, right of course.

Yeah, Like, what's the what's an example of kind of the most

challenging. I almost said that the worst, but I don't want to put

it that way. The most challenging school district that you've gone into. I

mean, I'm not asking you to identify the Yeah, And I think that's

my perspective because some school districts they have more challenges as far as behavior disruption

goes, but they have a system that's set up for support and so that

works very very well. So there are some schools that we have programs in

all levels of their schools, elementary, middle, high school, we have

a program in all of their buildings, but they have a system set up

for support, so it runs unbelievably well, things go super smooth. And

then other school districts don't. They don't have those programs they don't have a

lot of trauma background. They really don't work with those populations significantly, so

they don't have the training needed to provide the support. So those are the

most challenging situations when they don't have a setup to provide that because traditional methods

do not work with the student population that we work with. Okay, so,

and we're looking at it more from a trauma lens than from a compliance

lens. We get to compliance, but that's a ways off, you know,

it's you know, the students that we're working with typically they're not ready

for compliance because they're not regulated enough to be able to do that. We

get there, and usually when we do get to compliance, that's students no

longer on our caseload. We're like, okay, yeah, back to you

guys. Here you go, and they're doing it from their perspective within their

organization. At that point, when you when you first started in the early

days of doing this, did you ever have moments where you felt like,

wow, this is really this is really hard, Like was it for sure

harder than you expected? Yes, I mean I can remember one time I

had a EMO was interviewing and I can't believe she even ended up working for

us, but she was interviewing and she watched me get my nose broke.

Oh my god, and the student, it like, just headbutted me so

hard and I broke my nose. We were in McDonald's parking lot, and

I wouldn't go back to that McDonald's for like five years. I was mortified

that I had gotten my nose broken there and everything else. And the student

would ask every few weeks we go to McDonald's, and I'd be like,

not today, not today, And every now and then I'll say, oh

my gosh, I'm not sure how to deal with this, or I'm in

over my head. And at that point, that's when I reach out to

specialists and people who are more progressive in the field and that sort of thing,

and I have them actually start to train me on their methods. And

that's part of the reason why we're so progressive is we put so much time

and money into continuing education that before what we took us, you know,

three four years to accomplish, we can now do in three months. Wow,

that's excellent. On the other side, do you do you ever go

into a situation where it winds up being I don't know if easier is necessarily

the word, but often but it really yeah where yeah, yeah, that's

good. Yeah. There's a lot of times where they'll call me and they'll

say, Okay, you're observing this one and I'll say, Okay, I

think we could just do this, this and this, but what about that

one over there? Yeah, they'll say, well, we had some concerns

about that, but that hasn't risen up. And I'm like, it's gonna

you're gonna see it soon. Let's be proactive and get that, you know,

things on track so that we don't have those continuing issues come about and

it doesn't erode the student's self confidence. Miriam and the Chat says training is

a big part of keeping staff. It is scary to work with kids without

training and without strategies to help kids. Well, that's what you see all

the time too, that you're you're you're you're going into situations where you know

people who are they're they're doing their best in that school, but they're in

over their heads dealing with these kids because they haven't had the training right.

Yeah, you know, and that is really the huge part of it is

that the turnover increases if you're not training, You're gonna have turnover if you're

not providing that training. People do not feel connected because they don't feel like

they have the tools to do their job. Yeah, we were in a

school a couple of weeks ago. We've been faced. We had a student

come on to caseload who is really challenging, and they were moving a student

off so we could provide support and putting that student with a new staff.

And we went back to them and said, we don't think this is going

to work. Have this staff with us, have both students with us,

so that we can train that staff because she she cannot navigate this yet she'll

be able to. She's gonna learn the skills. We're going to teach her

those skills, but we want to make sure that she has the skill she

needs to be productive. And it is, it's going, it's going great.

Yeah, you good. I would imagine that's a big part of what

you do too, is not only you know, not only trying to help

help the situation, but getting you know, kind of encouraging these these teachers

to hang in there. It's more of that, yeah, is that is

that kind of Yeah? And a lot of times they're feeling like I'm trying

this. I'm trying this and it's not making a difference. Having someone come

in and validate them to say it is making a difference. If we just

added this one other piece, you would see it move leaps and bounds.

And it's not rocket science. These strategies are really simple things like have them

store their backpack under their chair instead of on the back of their chair.

That way, when they lean over to get their backpack, they're putting pressure

on their stomach, which pushes serotonin out into the bloodstream. Interesting, simple

stuff. Wow, But people don't they're not aware of it, right right,

Yeah, No, I mean my trick is always students think that I'm

the klutsiest person in the world because I'm always dropping things or falling or whatever.

And it's usually just so that they'll help me, you know, so

that they one they have that inversion they're standing down to pick something up for

me or doing something like that, or they're carrying my backpack because I can't

carry it because it's too heavy, and those sorts of things, and it's

weighted work and fun stuff. But yeah, I mean, they're they're all

great kids, and they just they just need to be put in the right

environment to be successful, right right, Emily Picard and the chatroom asks what

is the best thing to do when a student starts getting angry or you're responding

to a situation and they are already angry. Lower your volume, yeah,

slow down your speech. Make sure that your hands are between your shoulders and

your hips. Keep your thumbs up because your thumbs convey confidence, and have

a split stance with your feet, so that will convey confidence, but it

also shows safety. So you want to be able to show safety with your

body. And if you're like my which is the progressed stage, then you

also want your mouth slightly open because that will also it makes you look like

you're more engaged. If your lips are together because of the downturn of the

lips, that will end up making you look like you're more fierce. Okay,

everything, So students will tend to trust you a little bit more because

of that. Try to open your eyes a little bit wider, but not

to show the whites. So all of those things will make that student feel

safe and give them some space. And I often put it on the person

who's angry. I'll say, am I safe? Standing here, and that

usually halts them for a second and pulls them a little bit back into a

different area of the brains that they're not completely in the amygdala, so that

they'll say, Okay, no, you're not safe. You need to back

up, And I'll be like, okay, can I take like one baby

step back right get out of the room. And I'll say I have to

be here for safety, but I can back up and give you space.

So them having control over that makes a huge difference. Great question, Emily

one, two, or three. I'm not sure which number, Emily.

You are a lot of emilyes. Do you go all over the country with

us? You mentioned you're gonna be this summer, You're going to I think

you mentioned Mississippi, Florida, Texas. Yeah, yeah, we do.

I did a lot more traveling prior to COVID, but we still do quite

a bit of training. We do try to encourage people to, you know,

go through our course first and then if you still need us, then

come to us and everything. There's no lack of work, of course,

but you know, go through that. See what you can get for tools.

Look at our stuff on social media. You know, we want to

put the tools out there as much as we possibly can. So our goal

is really to create environments where people feel safe psychologically, physically, mentally,

they feel safe, and we want to be able to give those tools to

as many people as we possibly can. Right right, No, that makes

sense. Where's the furthest of you? Like? Have you gone all the

way out to the West coast? Oh? Yeah, yeah, I've been

to California a number of times. I actually was going to California almost every

year up until COVID, and then I was teaching remotely right for that?

So okay, okay, very good. Yeah, if you have any questions,

we do have a doctor Bethany billode o' here for a few more minutes.

Uh six O three two five six seven is the studio line six O

three two five O six oh seven. If you have any questions or feedback

or anything at all, uh, Sarah patno asks. Uh how do we

access the course again the behavior boot camp dot com? Okay, that's simple,

Miriam says. So can PARA professionals take classes independently or does it need

to be through the district? Oh? Great question, that is a great

question, Miriam. Miriam, you are girl, I know, I said

it before, but you're on fire today. You can definitely take them through

the district. Uh, you know, certainly ask your district about PD.

I do PD more directly to teams in that particular district. Yeah, then

I do full group trainings in that sort of thing. But you can certainly

utilize the course and access that free webinar we have that we have behaviorist on

that webinar every week that's there to answer questions and give some really simple strategies

that work for most people. And that is an easy way to start accessing

our resources. Now, did we talk about I don't think we talked about

this specifically, Core Core Methods cor E yep. Did we talk about what

that stands for? Connecting our resources educationally? Okay? Okay, So that's

the name of the program. That's the name of the program that provides its

services into the school districts. Gotcha, yes, okay, all right.

But our training platform is through the Behavior the Behavior boot Camp. Okay,

got it? Now? Is that something? So do you recommend that for

the Behavior boot Camp? Do you recommend that for only for educators? Or

it's written for educators? But I wrote it, and I wrote the curriculum

because I had such a hard time teaching parents strategies over the phone. So

you know, I spent a lot of time with parents on the phone,

and I had was just so challenged at saying this is how you should stand,

this is what you want your face to look like, so on and

so forth. Thing It's like, I've got to do it in a video

format, And COVID really opened the door for that, Yah, for us

to be able to do that, because I'd had that dream of creating it

about three or four years prior to COVID, and then with COVID coming in,

I was like, we just got to do this. This is something

that we have to create. We add new curriculum to it every summer and

really enhance the product with what's coming down as being the most progressive methods and

what we've tested to be the most progressive methods because we're constantly testing different techniques.

Yeah, it's when it comes to the pandemic. I've always said,

you know, obviously it was a terrible experience for us, for the world.

Yeah, but we have to find those silver linings where we can.

And one of the silver linings is the way that it kind of forced people

to be more progressive. That's a good word about technology and using technology and

the work. You know, I can tell you I I've always been someone

who really embraces technology, and I love technology and and you know, and

I have to be into it to be able to do this. But when

it came to doing hypnotherapy uh via I use doxy and uh. But when

it came to doing that, doing that virtually, so to speak, I

was late to the party on that. You know, I'd always either done

well really, I'd always done in person, you know, or you know,

recorded sessions for people to send them an MP three and whatnot. But

but to actually, I don't know why I was so so resistant, but

I just I wasn't comfortable with the idea of doing it online at first,

you know, and then you know, the pandemic shows up, and it's

like, well, gotta gota so but it's a subject that comes up a

lot on the show because you know, we also interview a lot of musicians

on here, and uh, when when the pandemic hit, all of a

sudden, all these musicians are are doing you know, concerts strictly on line,

doing all kinds of cool things online that they weren't necessarily doing before or

not as much of so. So, like I said, we have to

find those silver linings where we can. But oh, I'm sorry I shot

your mic up off when you got earlier. You what I put up with?

Yeah, I haven't seen my therapist in person in the years. Yeah.

Yeah, my daughter sees a therapist and I don't think we've ever met

her in person. Oh no, kidding. Yeah, I actually really like

being able to just be in my comfort zone. It's not nicer them sitting

in that waiting room with that snow machine. Yeah. Well it's I tell

you here. It saved time too, which is the great part of it.

Yeah. Yeah, I just have to tell my daughter she does have

to not change her clothes when she's on we're the therapist and do things like

that. Oh my etiquette. It's like you're in her office, honey,

Well, shouldn't be going to the bathroom, right. Kids are used to

this now their world is electrics, And I do have to say during COVID

there's many times I had to tell students that you have to wear clothes when

we have sessions. Oh my and parents. Yeah, has this changed a

lot? By the way, you said, nineteen years you've been doing this

session, has it? Has it changed a lot over the years? Significantly?

Significantly? Yeah, I mean it's it's a world of difference now and

the things that I would have done ten years ago, fifteen years ago,

twenty five years ago when I worked mainly with adults are completely different now to

what I do and everything, and that is it's it's part of honing the

craft, you know, and continuing to you know, work on that.

And I spend about two hours every day on continuing ed for myself. Oh

really every day? Wow, seven days a week. Yeah, yeah,

now that's excellent. Now are you working with multiple school districts at once?

Yes? How many? How many a time? Twelve a year? Okay,

I do about twelve schools a year and then and it rotates. Oh

wow. So you know we've worked with I think more than one hundred and

twenty schools at this point, no kidding. Yeah, and we do about

one hundred professional development trainings a year. Yeah, so it's significant. Now

do you ever have a repeat school or school district? Yeah? Yeah,

yeah, yeah we do because there's turnover about every seven or eight years,

we end up back in on that school district we had been in, and

there's some people that are still there. It's like old home day. It's

great to see the people again. Yeah, and everything is and then and

you know, and we're teaching all these newer, more progressive models because sometimes

they'll be like, oh, you know, doctor B I saw that.

I you know, I went to a training with you eight years ago,

so on and so forth, and I'm like, well, come back,

because it's going to be different techniques. Yeah. Yeah, I would imagine.

I'm guessing I could be wrong, But from what you've seen, has

turnover increased in schools over the years from when we started? Yeah, as

it Yeah, uh huh, and especially the last two years. Really it's

significant. Yeah, yeah significant. Yeah. We're really lucky as an organization.

Our turnovera's very very low, but school districts have really they've suffered.

It's been hard for them. Yeah. Sure. Yeah, and that's nationwide.

I've seen it everywhere. Yeah, I'm not I'm not surprised. I

think there's probably a few reasons for that. But plus, like I referred

to earlier, you know, we're in an economy where you know, if

you if you decide you don't want to be a teacher anymore. You don't

have to. You don't have you don't have to be. Yeah, so

for sure, you know, good good for everybody who hangs in there and

still loves it. Yeah, we appreciate you. Please stay, don't leave

the education we need you. Do you ever get into a situation where maybe

the maybe a school or a school district has brought you in, but the

staff is I don't I don't know, maybe resistant or maybe most of the

time really start Yeah, are they how it starts out? In most places.

People don't like new things change what they're existing doing. I'm an outsider.

Oh is that what it is? It's not the change. I think

it's both. It's you know, because a lot of the times what I'm

doing is different, and many of them don't realize that I was a teacher

at one point in time. So it's a little bit harder for them to

digest at the beginning and and that sort of thing. But over time usually

they end up being our biggest supporters. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's

excellent. Well, the time goes quickly, doctor bre it does. We're

already approaching the top of the hour. But I want to make I want

to make sure that everyone listening knows how to find you, how to find

your organization. Will remind people too about the Thursday nights, Yeah, all

of the webinar that we have on Thursdays at the Behavior boot Camp. Yeah,

so what what should people know about how to reach you and how to

the easiest way to reach us is either on social media or on our website

at the Behavior boot Camp dot com. Okay, okay, excellent. Oh

we'll sneak in another question too. Miriam had a question. Can this work

in conjunction with a BA It can? Yes. ABA is more of a

compliance based model, and we were very much an ABA company back fifteen years

ago, you know, at our inception, So yes, it can.

Our techniques are very different because we're looking at the nervous system, the brain,

you know, the neural hormones that are going on, and the sensory

systems and all of that. So we're incorporating all of those things to make

sure that we're working with the student to make sure they feel safe, they

feel regulated, and then we can get onto those other things. ABA tends

to come a little later. Okay, So we've done the preliminary work.

Okay, gotcha. Gotcha. Well, great questions in the chat room.

Thank you everybody, and doctor b thank you so much. This has been

wonderful. We'll do this again in the future. Fun. Thanks for having

me absolutely absolutely thank congratulations again on that award. Thank you. Oh yeah,

we should mention that again too. And what was your word for We

got the Business of the Year for Business New Hampshire and the area of Education.

Yeah, that is fantastic. Good for you. You're very excited.

Probably not your first one, right, we really fly under the radar.

We've gotten a number of awards before, but usually made it so that it's

presented more to the students and that sort of thing, because we don't really

want to make a big deal out of the company because it's really not about

that. It's about their success and yeah, them being able to connect and

integrate and have fuller, more successful lives. Yeah, but it's still though,

it's such a great validation for what you do. You know, that's

amazing. So congratulations, that is that is very very cool. Give us

a website one more time, the behavior boot camp dot com. Excellent.

Excellent, Doctor Bethany Bilideau, thank you so much. And and something is

playing in the background, and I don't know why, and I need to

figure out what that is before we I think I figured it out once once

a show, Doctor b something technical goes for you know, every time I

do a professional development training, something technical goes wrong as well. It's like

you're pressing the button slides, aren't we Dang it. I always said,

this is not my skill area. I have no idea how problem. Well,

the problem for me is this is my skill area. So when something

goes wrong for me, it's like, ah, you get yeah, exactly,

exactly, all right, I'm gonna play a track from our next guest.

If you're listening live on Saturday morning, we do have Dead Harrison coming

up and we're gonna play one of their tracks, Monolith Lord, and then

we're gonna have Dead Harrison in studio with us. But uh, Doctor Bethany

Bilideau, thank you again. Thank you,

Game Plan