Matt Connarton Unleashed 7-24-23

Hello everybody, Welcome, Happy Monday. It is that time again, Matt

Connerton Unleashed and we are live from the studios of w m n H ninety

five point three FM in glorious downtown Manchester, New Hampshire. Also on Comcast

ninety seven if you're in Manchester, and hello to all of our online listeners

across the nation and around the globe. You can go to my website Matt

Connerton dot com for all your live streaming options, social media links, contact

info, show archives, etc. Etc. Today is a Monday, July

twenty four, two thousand twenty three, and we have a very special guest

with us at the newsdesk. Steve Gamblin is here. How are you,

sir, doing good? How are you doing that? Very well? Very

well, Welcome to the show. I almost don't know how to introduce you,

in the sense that you do a number of different things, but well,

we'll talk about all of it though. I'm really I'm really looking forward

to this. We already had a pre interview unofficially before the show. We

were chit chatting quite a bit, but very interested in getting to know this

gentleman better and and sharing that conversation with all of you, which we will

do momentarily. Also, of course, if you would like to enter the

discussion at any point, the studio line is open six zo three two five

zero six zoo seven six three two five zero six zoo seven. You can

also text me at six one seven nine one seven four four seven six.

I'm on social media at Matt Connerton. You can email me Matt at Matt

Connerton dot com. And of course you can interact endo Pine in the Facebook

live chat. But the best thing to do so that we can hear and

enjoy your dulcet tones is give us a call at six zoo three two five

zero six z seven. Jenny is in the Facebook live chat. She is

currently at the Manchester Boston Regional Airport waiting for her flight, which I just

got a notification that it was delayed again, so Jenny's but at least it's

a it's a nice low stress airport to have to chill in. But she's

in the chat room, she says, shalom peeps. Also Melanie a liberty

from the Great State of Vermond, Jolens us in there, and Mike from

Queen City Cabinetry, one of our great sponsors. Here at WMH ninety five

point three, and of course Mike is also one of our co hosts on

Friday nights on retro Spectrum Radio with Paul C. Also, I see Chris

h in the chat room from the band edgewise. But speaking of dulcet tones,

So, Steve, you're a you're a radio guy, former radio guy,

former radio guy. Two to two. Well is it ever? Really?

You've still got the voice. You've got one of those voices that I

get very I covet your voice. I'm very envious of people. Tell me.

Sometimes people will be nice and they'll say, oh, Matt, you've

got a great radio voice. And I would say, no, no,

no, I have a good radio voice. But I know people who have

great radio voices. I know the difference. You, sir, have a

great radio voice. Well, thank you. The shame of it, as

I wish I had it when I was actually on the radio. This voice

didn't even happen on a microphone until year eight of my ten year career because

I just didn't have the confidence. Yeah, didn't have the guts to be

on the air. Now. I was a copywriter, production director, I

was a rock morning show producer and a comedy writer for most of those years.

Yeah, but not until our morning guy quit and the owner was going

to put us back on satellite, did I say, guys, I can

do this. I can do the morning show. And in parentheses in my

head, I'm thinking, never been on the out of all that and the

struggles of a five day audition, just throwing it out at the end,

and just my own voice came out. Yeah, just had it ever since.

Yeah, it's a sink or swim, And you know, we were

kind of talking about this offer. I think that that's probably a big key

to success in life, is very often just being willing to kind of put

yourself out there and take something on that. I have a similar story,

just briefly. I was in a band called the Jinxt for a long time,

and when they first asked me to join the band, I didn't want

to do it because I was being asked to join with a very short window

of time before I was going to be playing my first show with them.

I played the bass. I hadn't even looked at my bass in a long

time. I was, so I just felt like I was way out of

practice and we're never going to be able to learn these songs in time because

they had never played out either. It was a new band, but they

had a show in like two weeks at a dorm party at UNH and I

was asked to join. And the way it was pitched to me, it

was like, Matt, we have like almost no time to practice because everyone

has a very busy schedule and we have to play for like ninety minutes.

But what do you say? And everything about it sounded like a bad idea.

But the person who was inviting me was a close friend who was so

nice. He's one of those you ever know people who were They're just so

nice that the idea of disappointing them in any way is just terrible. So

you you say yes to things that you know you probably shouldn't. Yeah,

yeah, so I So I had every intention to say no, And I

called them back and I said okay, and then I got off the phone.

I was like, oh, no, what have I done? Turned

out to be a fantastic decision, and so much flowed from that that instance

of me. That's why I'm always skeptical. You know, some people will

say, you know, it's important when to no one to say no to

things, which I agree with Sometimes life presents us with terrible options we should

say no to. But sometimes I I just wonder, But what do you

do if you're someone who doesn't always trust your own instincts to say no?

Because if I had said no to that opportunity that I really at the time

thought I should say no to, and I only said yes because I didn't

want to disappoint the friend who was asking me, you know, I don't

know. I mean, one thing leads to another, leads to another.

I don't know if I'd be doing this radio show today if I hadn't done

that. You know, I might be. I might be doing something else,

not getting to do this. You know who knows? Yeah, My

whole life is a series of those. Is that when it's screaming no,

don't do it obviously, whether it's harmful or yeah, full of shure,

if you just you're you know, you're not going to be the head of

the rastic surgery at Boston General, though you said yes, you would do

it when you have a background like we have. Yeah, But when those

opportunities come up, and that first thing is it's fight or flight, it's

do or it or don't, and you get that panicked feel in your stomach,

but you still say yes. You might be amazed if the opportunities that

pop up, because all of a sudden, your your antenna is going to

be up right and you're going to see and hear opportunities. I mean,

that's everything I've done over the past twenty one years since blowing my life completely

into dust, has been a series of those of just saying yes, and

then what do they say, take the leap and grow your wings on the

way down. It's oh, I've never heard that expression, but it makes

sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and can you tell us about because

people who are watching us on Facebook are going to be wondering or on channel

ninety seven the shirt that you're wearing, it says got vision, Got vision.

Yeah. I'm known as my brand is the motivational Firewood Guy as a

speaker, Yeah, and my main product is a program called vision Board Mastery,

so I teach people how visualization really works. It's not just slapping pictures

of a Lamborghini yacht, Ferrari mansion, private jet, honkin jewelry in a

bank vault full of gold bars on a poster board and saying look, I'm

manifest right, So I teach people how visualization really works. So I do

wear the Goat Vision t shirt. Okay, let's let's compare something, because

I also I talk about visualization a lot, and I don't know if you

know this about me. I'm also a hypnotherapist. Cool, so I help

people to quit smoking and lose weight and get motivated and things like that.

One of the things I do talk about a lot is visualization. And so

just as an example with my smoking clients, I do I tell them this

before the session, but I give them the actual hypnotic suggestion obviously once I

have them in a state of hypnosis. But I tell them, you know,

visualize yourself as a non smoker. Visualize yourself being around other people who

are smoking, and you not caring that other people are smoking because you're not

interested. And what I tell them is, you know, the way the

subconscious mind works, the subconscious does not easily distinguish between what is real and

what is imagined. So another example is if somebody, actually this is a

better example, if someone comes to me and they say they have a fear

of public speaking, which is a very common phobias. As you know,

as I'm sure you've talked to many people who have that problem. If somebody

comes to me with that, one thing I tell them is, you know,

we do the session. But I also tell them, listen, here's

something you can do on your own outside of hypnosis. Just imagine yourself.

Imagine yourself getting up in front of that group of people and just doing a

phenomenal job. Because the subconscious mind, it doesn't easily distinguish between what's real

and what's imagined. For example, if you access a memory that's a powerful

memory, and you really focus on it, you feel all the same and

feelings you did when that memory actually happened, maybe not quite as intensely because

it's just a memory, but but your subconscious mind doesn't necessarily know the difference,

so you're feeling all those same things again. So if you train your

mind to believe that you are supposed to go and succeed at that, your

mind just begins to believe, Okay, well this is what happens, because

in your mind it's already happened. So go and imagine yourself. Visualize yourself

in front of that group of people, given a great speech. And if

you keep doing that, your subconscious begins to just believe, Okay, that's

what's supposed to happen. So when you actually go to do it for real,

it just happens because you've already trained your mind. That's what happens.

That's just how it this works. Your mind thinks it's already happened. So

that's that's kind of how I use visualization with my clients. So I'm curious

to hear you expand on the on how you approach it. Very similar.

What you're doing is you're training your brain. You are hardwiring yourself to not

know if it already existedfoos just imagination. And one of the things I ask

people when I first start working with them for coaching, I'll ask what do

your goals look like? And they'll start to say, I go, hang

on, what do they look like? Feel like, sound like, smell

like, taste like? And I always laugh at that one. But in

your case, for quoting smoking, how good like you as somebody? What's

your favorite meal? How amazing is it going to taste when you are six

weeks out, six months out from and now being a non smoker out quoting

smoking, being a non smoker, becoming the best version of yourself? Ask

what's your favorite food? Okay, we're gonna set a lunch date right now,

we're gonna go together. We're gonna go enjoy this, and I'm gonna

ask you, how does this feel? Was it as good as you visualized

it feeling? And you know, brought in all your senses? So yeah,

it's making it real and a big part of it just like what you

do. It's not what you get visualizing, Yeah, it's who you become

behind the best version of yourself. And once we get into the sensory stuff.

With some of my clients, it blows their minds to blast a year

down the line where not well rewatch an archived coaching session, Yeah, when

they had no idea how to answer those and then they give me all the

concrete answers. Oh, interesting site, it's interesting, cool to watch.

I like what you said too about becoming the how did how did you put

it? The best version of themselves? It's not just what you get,

it's who you become and becoming the best elite version of yourself with all the

gifts you've been given plus everything you've worked on. Yeah, yeah, I

do a visualization with um I usually do it. I do it at the

end of the session, and I do this with everybody, well almost everybody.

Um, we do the main part of the session where I, you

know, get them to be a non smoker or get them to be uh,

you know, make better decisions about their eating habits and so forth.

But then when we get to the end, I do this thing where I

have them imagine looking at an image of themselves but from the outside of their

ideal self, the the ideal person, the version of themselves that they most

want to be. And then I have them imagine that they're actually walking into

and stepping inside that version of themselves and literally in their minds becoming that ideal

version of them free of whatever the bad habit is that they're trying to break

or whatever. So, so do you do you have Do you do vision

boards with clients or I do? Yeah. I started off doing live events

open to the public many many years ago. Yeah, And it's it's a

very difficult it's a difficult sell and it's difficult to get people to understand the

depth of the work because it turns into a vision board party. Okay.

I actually have a t shirt line on the back of says, friends don't

let friends attend vision board parties. Yeah, So I came from that.

I started doing it inside of companies at live events with company teams. Yeah.

And then some entrepreneurs and individuals and even couples reached out, Hey,

Steve, we can't afford this company rate. Why don't you create an audio

program that we can follow. Yeah, a product. Yeah. And of

course, anytime somebody says did you ever think of doing this, the standard

answer is, you know what, it's almost done, but we haven't launched

it yet. And then I would take out a pen and go create a

program for these. So it became actually a ten step program based on my

journey in the in the from the early two thousands to the end of the

first decade, from blown up life to setting the seeds for everything I have

today, including meeting and connecting with the love of my life, creating relationship

in eight major areas of life. It's not just stuff physical health, emotional

well being, relationships, your core values that guide you, your faith that

does the same thing from another direction, your connection to people, your work,

and your money. All those categories are working twenty four to seven.

So wouldn't it be a good idea to have some sense of where you want

to go, even in the course of one year. Yeah, don't don't

start with a twenty years from now thing. Yeah, you can have long

term goals. What could you get done in a year to get closer to

that because we're priming the pump here in this first year, right, so

foreign to a lot of people. The cost of what you and I both

do freaks a lot of people out at first, so we've got to guide

them through it. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Oh. Rosanna McMahon is

in the Facebook live chat and says, hey, that's my cousin, Steve,

that's my cousin. Hello, very nice. Also Melanie Liberty joins us

in the chat. She says this show may be a little too upbeat for

me, but I will try my best to behave The Shrewsbury Biscuit podcast we

talked off air about people in the UK. This is our friend Alex Whiteley.

He hosts a podcast called The Shoesberry Biscuit. He says, what if

you visualize something and it just never comes That happens, and it can happen

for a number of reasons. Sometimes people don't know what they want. They

may see something shiny. But the big question that I ask people, especially

when they start working with them, it is step four in the program.

So it's part of the program. Why do you want it? And if

you just say I don't know, it might be kind of cool. You're

not unsolid yet, but if you can get to an emotionally connected reason why

you want something or why you do something. Yeah, I mean, I'm

a speaker today because when I was twenty four years old in nineteen ninety two,

a friend of mine encouraged me to follow my dream of being on the

radio when I had no idea how to pursue it. Yeah, I did

it. I went to broadcast school, I got my first internship summer ninety

two, drove to his house. Hey man, I got a job at

a radio station. How much you getting paid? Well? Nothing. Well

that friend passed away three weeks later. Oh but he lived long enough to

see me get into radio to follow my dream. Of course, I got

the I Told you So speech. Yeah. When I decided to become a

speaker around two thousand and three, two thousand and four, somebody asked me

why you a speaker? I said, because I had a friend who believed

in me when I didn't, and I want to be that friend for other

people. So anytime I'm on a stage, I don't care if one person

shows up or a thousand and one. Yeah, I know why I'm there.

And as scared as I've ever been on stage, which is almost every

time time I get nervous, Yeah, that why keeps me going, and

it's helped me to create a speaking career, coaching career programs. I've published

four books, I've got my own podcasts, and I've got a regular show

on a radio station that streams out of the UK called YAHWA Radio Awesome.

So it's it's as you dial it in and understand why whe does it look

like, feel like, sound like, smell like? And why does it

really appeal to you? The more real you can make it, the better

and more solid your steps are going to be. Does some things just never

happen? Yes? Sure, that's that's that's part of life. Yeah,

otherwise you get you know, eighty five people at the seven to eleven when

Powerball hits a billion dollars manifesting a billion dollars right right? You know?

Yeah? Um, how important is it in your view? Because when I

when I talk about this, this is an element of my personality. And

I don't know how many people can relate to this, but I always say

my approach to this particular aspect of things. Any motivational speaker will tell me

I'm wrong, but I'm curiously get your thoughts. The way my mind works

is I tend to not set specific goals because everyone always says, you know,

you gotta have specific goals and try to set some sort of a deadline

and so forth. And my approach to things has always been I find things

I want to do that I'm passionate about. Whether it's doing this, or

whether it's doing hypnotherapy or or you know, the online business that I run,

etc. I find things that I'm passionate about, and then I just

I operate under the assumption that if I work really hard at these things and

I don't give up on them, I stick with them, they will lead

to success, they will lead to more good things. But I don't.

I don't set specific goals. I never really have. I just say,

Okay, this is something i'm passionate about. It's gonna work really hard at

it, and I'm going to just assume I'm going to or maybe trust in

the universe, if you want to think of it that way. I'm just

going to trust that I will end up someplace good with it. And I

don't know, I don't know why I approach it that way. I maybe

maybe it's a way of avoiding disappointment. If I don't set a specific,

concrete goal, then I'm never disappointed. Or maybe it's just I've always kind

of had this sense of, you know, there's so much randomness to life,

there so much chance, this, so this, so much that we

can't control that. I maybe I just feel safer just kind of saying I'm

just gonna go for whatever I want and hope it turns out okay. But

but that's always kind of been my thing. I've I've never really been good

at setting goals and I and I and definitely I don't set any kind of

deadlines for myself, like, Okay, by this point, I want to

be here, I want to have accomplished this. So am I doing it

all wrong? Or am I just weird and different? And that's okay to

be weird and different. What do you think There's no set concrete answer out

there. Yeah. Personal development in motivation are the wild West. They really

are. And of course some people's stars shine very brightly, and then all

of their followers who deify them. Tony Robbins, who I really I loved

Tony's early stuff. I don't particularly care or respond, you know, yeah,

well to it now his approach. Yeah. But what happens is if

you have something that works for you, go for it. Yeah, keep

doing it. It doesn't there's no set rule. Yeah, you know,

even even what I do in the way I teach it, some people go,

oh no, no, that's not going to work. You have to

do it this way. You get to have smart goals, specific, measurable,

attainable, realistic, and timely. Why right, because you bought the

smart fridge magnet or bump a sticker and the last Tony Robbins event you went

to when you were massaging the person next to you, jumping up and down

with the thumping music and the lasers. If it works for you, do

it and keep doing it. Now I'm I'm more with the specific end of

things because when I build an action plan for me, it's I compare it

to an old wooden roller coaster, like here we are in southern New Hampshire.

We've got the old Yankee cannonball at Canoby Lake. Yeah, And I'm

just a person who is normally not super organized. But when I set my

goals, I know I am at the parking lot level now, and I

identify where I am now as well. Yeah, the top of that first

hill is any one of my goals? And then how do you get there?

Click? Click, click click and identify the steps? Because I'm a

person who has about a thousand squirrels running around in his head, that specific

measurable action plan, and I create tracking systems like the number of miles I

want to pedal on the peloton this year. I've got, you know,

one of those thermometer type graphics on my vision board. Every time I hit

another hundred, I color in that block. That keeps me going. But

it's not for everybody. So if it works for you, go for it

and don't let anybody tell you that you're wrong. Yeah, because you're not.

Um, How do you how do you deal with Do you ever get

frustrated? If you you know you you have specific action plans and so forth,

But if you're not, if you're not hitting something when you expect to

see part of my problem, too, is if I always feel like if

I set a specific goal for something and then I don't reach that goal in

that time period, then I'm gonna feel like, oh, I'm a failure.

I failed at this, I I and then I'm gonna psych myself out.

I mean, how do you how do you deal with that? If

you if you uh you know, if you have your action plan, I

mean, do you put do you put time? Do you put a timetable

into your action plan or or or do you approach it as more just Okay,

this is what I'm going to do, and it takes as long as

it takes. I do typically set time constraints. Yeah, but if I

don't hit it, I'm okay. I don't beat myself up. I don't

tear up the goal and say this was worthless, this was wrong. Yeah.

I'll ask myself, and I'll be brutally honest. I'll ask myself right

in the mirror. Did I do the work necessary to get here, developed

the better habits, to be consistent, to build momentum, to build confidence.

Yeah, and even if I didn't hit the number, it's okay as

long as I'm a better version of myself, and I'm getting closer to that.

It's not like the people at the beginning of the year when they set

those New Year's resolutions. Yeah, and they're very vague. They write down

January first, twenty twenty three, I want to I want to be happier,

I want to be healthier, and I want more money. Right.

And then the week between Christmas and New Year's of this year, they're cleaning

the living room because company's coming, and they see this water paper folded up

keeping the lamp from rocking, and it's got salt sustains on it, and

they open it up and they go, huh, I want to be happier,

healthier, and more money. How did I do? I don't know.

You know, it's cold out, it's dark. I do set pretty

specific things and create a way to track to make sure that my behavior at

least is moving me in the right direction. But if I don't make it,

I'm good with that, which is way better than I used to be

my self. Deprecation. I took it to an Olympic gold medal winning skill

and it did not serve me well. I can relate to that. I

struggle with that still today. I mean, I do a lot of meditation,

self hypnosis to keep me on try to keep me on track. But

I to this day, I have a problem. It does get out of

control where I beat myself up. Jenny knows this. She gets to the

joy of witnessing it all. I beat myself down sometimes, you know it,

And that because I get into this headspace where Okay, on one hand,

I didn't set any specific goals and yet I have this but I have

the sense that I'm not where I should be with this particular thing. And

then I start to, you know, I ruminate. I that's what it

is. Really. I ruminate on mistakes that I've made. Yeah, you

know, which, obviously I know logically is the wrong thing to do.

Mistakes are something to learn from and not to dwell on. But and it's

good to reflect on mistakes in the sense that you want to be able to

acknowledge what went wrong so you don't repeat the mistake. But there's such a

I find there's a very at least for me, there's a very thin line

between reflecting on a mistake and ruminating on it. And that's a big pitfall

for me. Oh yeah, I used to cross that line a lot.

Now at the time, I was also a stand up comedian. I had

been on the radio, so I could use it in such a way that

I would have rooms full of people hysterically laughing. Yeah. Problem is they

don't see the wrecking ball swinging back at me, which is what I was

doing. And I didn't even realize it at the time. I'm thinking,

Hey, this is fine. I'm getting laughs. I'm getting laughs. I

held myself back so far for so many years and just kept destroying myself,

taking myself out at the ankles over and over and over that my businesses weren't

growing. And a dear friend, my buddy, Chris Whitehead, who I

had just met. This is around twenty two eleven, invited me to speak

all three days of a three day personal development he had with a couple of

dozen people. Small event. Yeah. On the third day, I was

in a bad mood. I was self deprecating, and I was running out

of material. So I went on this self deprecating rant for twenty minutes,

which I thought was hysterically funny, talking about all the dumbest things that ever

done in my life. Yeah, and at the end the people left.

He pulled me off to the side stage and intervention. He said, Bro,

if I ever hear you talk about yourself like that again, not only

are we not brothers, you'll never sit foot on one of my stages again.

Wow, did you listen to yourself up there? I said no,

and I was just leveling. I had already destroyed myself. And now here

he is coming out, and he with steel toe boots kicking me in a

part of my body my doctor only gets to see once a year. He

kicked me so hard that I finally got the lesson. Now, does my

brain ever still go to some hysterically funny stuff? Yeah, I just don't

say it, and I don't believe it either. Sometimes I'll be like,

oh my gosh, that's genius. I got to figure out a way to

use this without harming myself self. Yeah, but I've stopped ruminating on that.

Okay stuff. It's it's it's a learned skill and it takes a lot

of time. And sometimes it's just looking in your mirror saying don't go there.

Yeah, don't go there, because the good stuff just as real as

the bad. I did a podcast over the weekend called stack Up your Winds.

So if you start thinking of some failures. Instantly balance it out with

a couple of winds. Yeah, you've got your own radio show. I

mean, come on, in an industry that's very tough to get into these

days. Yeah, you've got a show. You've had it for years.

That's a win. Yeah, that that right there can can compensate for anything

else. If you flubbed the word a mister recording or had a blooper real

moment, start counteracting it with the winds, because you deserve to be here.

Yeah, yeah, thank you. I know, I appreciate. I

appreciate hearing that. Actually, I think that's I think that's really good advice,

because yeah, that is something I do. I do struggle with when

I get into that, when I get into that zone and that mental state.

Um so, but you said something interesting. So does this affect your

your approach too, because you also do stand up comedy I did, or

you didn't do any four twenty eleven, And the reason I stopped was somebody

had a very good point. I was starting to do corporate speaking. Yeah,

and somebody asked me after a show, Hey, Steve, if the

female CEO of a company that was interested in having you speak just came in

and heard your act and my closing bit was a song parody called the Viagrass

Song to the tune of Wee Will Rock You by Queen Yeah. And I

wasn't a dirty comic. I could be adult in nature, but I was

not dirty. I was not foul mouth. Yeah said, if that female

CEO saw you here, would she hire you to speak to her company?

And I said, you know what, probably not interesting because not everybody can

tell the difference or knows. They just think, oh, if he's like

that there, he's like that everywhere. Okay, So I took all the

skills and I took the very very clean material from comedy in my style brought

it over to speaking. Yeah, you could be humorous and motivational and positive

as a speaker. You can earn more money right now, that makes sense.

Do you miss it? Though? I miss being on stage, I

don't miss the comedy industry because there's a lot of addiction, there's a lot

of mental illness, there's a lot of depression. Yeah, things I've dealt

with over the years with depression and things like that, and I don't miss

that part of it. It's very dark art. I was the more on

the more positive end of all the comedians I knew, but still it was

very difficult being around some people knowing that what they were doing on stage to

get laughs was them doing their own therapy and getting it out there and urging

poison, and knowing from that side of the curtain. Some of it was

pretty painful watching people just disintegrate. Yeah, that's interesting, Yeah, because

a lot of comedians will talk about that. They'll they'll talk about their their

pain there there. I mean a lot of you know, a lot of

sand up comedians draw from you know, if they had a difficult childhood,

you know, drawing material from that and whatnot. I've always thought it would

be that's not a skill set that I have. I mean, I can

be funny on the show. I can be you know, I think the

term is situationally funny or contextually funny. I can you know, I can

have a conversation and make jokes on the air and so forth, and be

kind of some people think I'm funny. I have an odd sense of humor,

so I think some people don't. But but I've always thought, I've

always you know, to me, it would be like a superpower to be

able to go on stage and just be funny on command and to just make

people laugh. I mean, what could be what could be better than making

people laugh, you know, in the immediacy of that, and it just

looks like it looks like the greatest job in the world being a stand up

comic. It's a lot of fun. And even now people see if used

to be comedian, tell me a joke. I don't tell jokes. I

never did tell jokes. What you hear me doing on stage at a positivity,

personal development, motivational type event, it's pretty much the same structure of

what I did for stand up. I'm a storyteller, yeah, and it

comes down to using your voice, your speed, you're high, you're low,

you're faster or slow, your face, your gestures, your physicality.

Yeah, to tell a story and connect with people. It's just the funny

happens a little more often in stand upright, I have to right, But

speaking it is the same exact way. If I can get you to laugh

and learn at the same time, we're going to hardwire some growth in you.

And it's the basics of the art form or the same for me anyway.

Yeah, No, I'm just the same on stage off stage, backstage,

standing on the street corner, or walking on the Captain crunchild at the

grocery store. I've had amazing conversations with people in every one of those places.

Yeah, well that's using humor. I mean, that's the best way

to pull people in any way, right, Like, Like I've always thought,

you know, if you can no matter what it is, whether you're

trying to help people in terms of motivational presentation, or whether you're talking about

politics, or whether you're you're talking about music, I always um, you

know, I interview a lot of musicians on the show, and when I

have musicians on Who, a lot of musicians, you know, because they're

creative people anyway, a lot of them are also have phenomenal sense of humor,

and I always tell them, you know, yeah, be funny because

people are going to be It sounds odd, but people are going to be

more interested in listening to your music if you can make them laugh during our

conversation, because you're able to connect with them by making making somebody laugh,

is I think establishes a connection almost like no other connection you can establish with

a person in terms of building rapport and just really you know, once you

once you get somebody to laugh, even if you know, we do a

lot of politics on the show, and you know, even if you're diametrically

opposed politically with somebody, if you can make them laugh, they're just going

to be more open to you, and they're going to listen more intently to

everything that you're saying and really kind of taking it in. Yeah, you

can weave that behavior, that style into pretty much any area of life.

My family, I have a small nonprofit called Beach Bump Philanthropy, and we're're

dedicated to doing as many acts of kindness as we can in the simplest ways.

Now, you and I are tall guys, and if we're at a

grocery store and there's a little old lady with a carriage there, we're going

to be a little intimidating. So I even I love to play a game

I call shopping cart rodeo, which is either rescuing the abandoned carts, or

if you see a little old lady who's only got one or two items left,

saying from a distance, excuse me, would you like me to return

that for you? And then you walk over and I always say the same

thing ma'am, please remove your purse from the carriage by the time I get

there, because see all these cameras up here. I do not want that

to catch And you're beating me up in the parking lot thinking I'm trying to

steal your purse. That would be embarrassing, right, and the total strangers.

Yeah, and it's like we've known each other forever and they're laughing and

I'm laughing, And it's an amazing way to connect with people because we never

know where someone else's life is. Yes, you could be the person who

changes their whole day because they might have been looking for a reason to stay

positive, ever, have hope or whatever. And if you can do it

just with humor and some kindness at the same time, I was that was

a bad day the first time I did that. This woman was easily in

her eighties. Yeah, I was sixty feet away with her cart, her

windows were up in her car. I could still hear her laughing. Oh

really, And it made my day. And somebody said, well, you're

like an angel. I'm like, no, she was the angel. Yeah.

I was having a bad day. Yeah, and I just did this

little act of kindness and for whatever people choose to believe in. I always

look up give a little wink, said all right, I know she you

put her in my path today. Thank you. Now let's go find another

one, right right, Yeah, that's that's awesome. We have a question

in the chat room Alex Whiteley, our friend from the UK. He says,

Uh, Steve, what advice would you give to someone who who has

spent the last two years having their confidence and self esteemed battered by constant bad

luck? It happens, you know, I'll even add another two years onto

that somebody. Recently, I was on a podcast with a gentleman in Australia

and he said, so, how were the last four years from you?

And I said, oh, you mean three deaths in a pandemic. My

dad died, my business mentor died, our dog died, and both of

my businesses which were event based, got demolished. Oh yeah, seven months

without earning a dime at the first part of COVID. Yeah, it can

be very easy. And I'm not saying this to bullettle anything that this person

is feeling. It can be very easy for us to have that question.

And I had, great, what else can go wrong? We just need

to be very careful and aware of that, and bad things do happen,

Oh my gosh, I mean if bad things happened to great, positive,

super friendly, loving, caring, creative people every day. Yeah, it

comes down to what we focus on and if we can potentially see a cause

behind it out of our control, we can't control. But if it's something

in our heads, if we're saying to ourselves, well, what else could

possibly go wrong? What else could wreck my day? What else could ruin

my life? And we start to counterbalance that with some gratitude I have.

For eleven and a half years, I've been putting pen to paper every morning

and writing down my three favorite moments from the previous day. Interesting, not

just saying my health, my job, by whatever, because if you're gonna

just do that, it's gonna lose its power. You may as well just

carve it into a potato and get an ink stamp and just Gutenberg your way

through gratitude. But when I find those little winds, even the moments someone

held the door for me today, I got to hold the door for someone

I rescued a shopping cart. Oh my gosh, this person wore the coolest

hat that I saw or this person smiled at me, or had this great

conversation, or I got to hear these two guys on a radio show five

thousand miles away. And it can be anything. So if it feels like

it's steaming downhill, to the best of your ability, think of the good,

even any moments from the day, because they're just as real as the

tough stuff. And it can start your mirror in the morning. You know,

I've got one exercise to do with my clients, is all right,

Get a little sheet of paper in a pen right down one, two,

five, six seven. Leave it in your bathroom when you get in there

in the morning. Once you look in the mirror, start at the top

of your head, work your way down. When you see something about yourself,

you like, write it down for that day. People think it's weird,

and I say, I'm gonna give you the first day. You're gonna

start at the top of your head. You're gonna go all the way down,

and you're gonna look at your feet and go, well, hack,

at least my socks match good. There's day one right now. You can't

do the socks thing anymore. I've had people on the third fourth day Steve,

Oh my gosh, I have really cool eyes. I have a nice

smile. I have dimples. Those are cool. And when you have dimples

and you notice they're cool, you smile more, which makes bigger dimples.

Right. For seven days, give yourself the gift of identifying something positive about

how you look, how you feel, who you are, what you do,

where you're at. You know, here's one thing for you in the

UK. I think you have an incredible accent. Yeah, so there,

so I hope that's helpful to to understand maybe the movement behind it. Yeah,

you know, we can let that tide push us like a big or

or in the case of winter, a snowball rolling down at hill getting bigger

and bigger, And all we're wondering is how much worse can it get?

Right, It's a natural human thing it is to be aware of it,

though. Yeah, that's something I'm vulnerable too, uh, as as well

as um. You know that catastrophic thinking, you know, and and uh,

it's it's easy to when something goes wrong. It's it's easy to in

the moment really be focused on what's go going going wrong and um and uh

and lose track of all the things that are going right. Um, so

I think that's uh, I think that's good advice. Um. Oh,

hello to Legion of Solace, who is in the Facebook laugh chat, as

well as our friend Jay Fed from the Great State of Vermont. And if

you would like to enter the discussion, the studio line is six three two

five six seven six three two five six seven. We're talking with Steve Gamblin

on the show with Us today. Oh what do you um you call?

Uh Motivational Firewood? Is that that is my official brand? Yeah? Yeah,

as a speaker, and I own the trademark on that. Okay.

When I first started as a speaker, somebody said have you heard of the

National Speakers Association And I had not. Yea, they have a chapter that

meets in Boston, and I went down to a meeting, and of course

I walk in. Everybody else has these nice in Boston name badges and lanyards,

and I've got the little h tag of shame where it says hi,

my name is hit me a sharpie. So I just write Steve yeah on

my chest. Well, a gentleman said, hey, Steve, I'm Dennis,

Nice to meet you, Happy to have you here. So what do

you speak about it well, you know, a motivation and positivity and humor.

He says, what makes you different? He said, I want to

motivate people. He goes, Steve, we all want to do that,

right, what makes you unique? And God love him? He had the

patience of the Saint. About five minutes in. I finally, after stumbling

for answers, So, Dennis, you know what, if people pay to

come hear me speak, it means they may have a spark of something in

their heart that they want to do with their lives, but they don't know

how to do it. And it might share a tip, a tactic,

a strategy, a lesson, a story that gives them an idea of what

they can do and helps them believe in themselves and then they go do something

with it. It's kind of like a hand in him a piece of motivational

firewood. And he snapped his fingers and he goes, Now that young man,

that's different in unique and it's cool. He goes, it's a great

name. Learn about trademarking it. But you know what I love the most.

I just watched your face light up when you said that. I felt

really good. Yeah, so I've been the motivational firewood guy. Ever since,

every few years I got to re up the trademark, and every few

years I send them a check and I still own There you go, There

you go, Jenny just shared in the chat room to your website Steve Gamblin

dot com and um, yeah, when people go there, what can they

spect to find some positivity and people who can probably or a person who can

probably very well relate to what they're going through. I am, if nothing

else, my two most important things being authentic and being vulnerable. We'll add

three and real, authentic and real. Yeah, I've been through it.

Everything I speak on, everything I write, the Fishion Board, Mastery Program,

everything is a chronicle of what I've been able to do over the past

twenty one years to put my life together because I literally destroyed it. And

if you're old enough to get the reference, think Wiley Coyote, Acme rocket

roller skates going off accressicating the Canayan floor. I blew up my radio career,

my first marriage ended. I was tens of thousands of dollars in debt

at age thirty five, without a full time job. Yeah, and luckily

my family is amazing. I had a safe place to land and slowly put

it all back together with some more of those angels that appeared in my life.

Yeah, the weirdest moment. You would never think a three dollars bucket

of golf balls in a thunderstorm underpower lines would change my life forever, but

it did. Okay, Well, now I have to know what happened the

lowest of the low in a very self deprecating mood. Yeah, it was

August of two thousand and three, and where the market Basket is over in

Bedford now used to be a mini golf driving range and I was driving by.

I had three dollars up in my pocket that week and decided to just

take out my frustrations on a bucket of golf balls. Yeah. And so

I picked the farthest tea box on the property because I didn't want to dent

anyone's car in the parking lot or hit anybody on the mini golf course.

Yeah. And I was underneath these gigantic steel power lines. And so August

oh three humid and a thunderstorm comes through and I was so down on myself.

I was the only person who didn't run from the storm. Yeah,

So I took my shoes off. So I was barefoot in the wet grass

with a golf club hitting a bucket under the power lines. At one point,

I just held the club up and I just said, I dare you

take me out? Go ahead? And I was just being sarcastic, kind

of like if you remember Fourrest Gump when Lieutenant Dan was up in the crow's

nest and the hurricane just screaming, Is that all you got? Come on?

Blow? Yeah, that was my Lieutenant Dan moment. Yeah. So

I hit my bucket and the buckets of two guys who ran from the storm

and never came back. So after an hour, I couldn't even lift my

arms. Yeah. I got to my car and the sun came out and

it stopped raining. Yeah, and I just started laughing. I thought that

was so funny. And the next day I was on the call with a

brand new life coach who says, hey, how was your week? And

I said, put down your pane and listen to this, and I told

him the story of that hour. Yeah. I made it as funny as

I could. Super self deprecating, but yeah, as funny as I could.

And when he stopped laughing, which is something a coach shouldn't do when

your life stinks. He asked, have you ever thought of being a motivational

speaker or a stand up comedian? I think you'd be great at both,

And I said yes since I was eleven, but I had no idea how

to sue either one. He said, you're not going to believe this,

But in the junk mail on my desk because I didn't throw it away yet,

there's a brochure for a local community college that has a stand up comedy

class that starts in two weeks. Will you go? Yep? And I

went, have you ever heard of Toastmasters? Kinda? There's a chapter that's

two towns away from where you live. That's one of the most award winning

chapters in the state. I think you should go and just sharpen your tools.

Yeah, and that conversation is why I'm where I'm at right now.

Wow. His name, as well as the friend who got me to pursue

radio, they're both named Daniel, and I recently looked up when a podcast

host asked, where does the Guardian Angel Daniel signify? I had to look

it up. Yeah, delivers eloquence, confidence, help you share a message.

He's a patron saint of artists. Everything I've done because of two people

named Daniel directly related to the mission of the Guardian Angel Daniel. Yeah,

you know, if you choose to believe in that stuff. I mean I

read it and was just, yeah, in awe of what it said.

It perfectly explains everything, and so you you're motivational speaking and your stand up

comedy career effectively started at the same time. Then exactly the same moment.

Yeah, the two of the four I hadn't done yet because my first book

had just come out at that time. So I did the radio DJ and

the author thing. Yeah, stand up comedy and teacher of people, but

not in a classroom became speaking. Okay, okay um, I have to

I have to ask you this because you said you blew up your radio career.

I love I'm a radio nerd. I love radio war stories. I

don't know how much you want to say about it. So if it's not

something you want to talk about, but if you're open, if you're open

to talking about it, I'd love to hear the story. Oh yeah,

my first two years of radio nineteen ninety two to early ninety four, we're

a station called WCGY, which was ninety three point seven just north of Boston.

Yeah, I remember cg Y. Yeah, they sold the station.

We all got fired. Ended at rock on a one W gi R in

Manchester. I was the morning show producer, silent Steve on the backster in

the morning show for three years. Radio station got sold. We all got

fired. Yeah, and I just won the biggest award the station had ever

won for comedy bit that I wrote out of all radio stations, Oh wow,

United States, Canada, Mexico, and the UK comedy bit that I

wrote one. I still got fired because they got sold. Yeah, and

I landed in the Late region. For four years we built up a classic

rock station. Somebody came in one day and said, hey, Steve Scott,

the owner is going through a divorce. You might have to sell the

radio stations. And I snapped, really and I was exhausted. I worked

fifteen years worth of hours in ten I was exhausted. My marriage was showing

signs of cracking. I was fried. I owned a DJ business, so

I was djaying all weekend pretty much every weekend, yea, and work in

sixty hours a week, an hour and a quarter from home. Oh wow.

And I just snapped, yeah, and I handed in my notice and

quit, and then my marriage fell apart, and then I was tens of

thousands in debt. I'd just taken out a thirty thousand dollars line of credit

to build my recording studio. Yeah, the first one. Yeah, and

blew it all up. Oh wow, I don't recommend that. Yeah,

that approached. While it worked for me in the long run, I mean

that scarred me for a long time because I caused it. I couldn't blame

anybody else. What was it just a matter of you just ran yourself into

the ground, so that that one thing, because you weren't even being because

in that in that instance, you weren't even being told that that you were

getting fired or anything. You were just being told that it might happen,

right, But but you just were so it sounds like you were just so

just burned out, just classic burnout, basically absolutely fried. And there's some

interpersonal stuff happening at that radio group where you know, people of a certain

level, they don't like each other because each one thinks that the other person's

getting favored or whatever, and egos step in and I had one, just

like anybody else. I was very protective of my property. Yeah, but

inside the building, you've got your allies and your perceived enemies. And I

was fighting with a couple of other people constantly, and I just said,

well, here's the way out, and I just bailed. Wow. No,

don't recommend it. Yeah, I do not recommend that approach for people.

A matter of fact, somebody said the other day to me in a

direct message on Facebook, Yes, Stephen, thinking of chucking it all and

doing what you did and starting over. And I said, let's get on

a zoom call. Let me tell you the potential repercussions of that. Do

I regret doing it now? No? Because it put into motion everything I'm

doing now and also discovering the absolute love of my life and everything happened.

You know, I don't regret all of those things. Yeah, now because

of what I've been able to create from the ashes of that. Right to

me, it worked. And tell me about So you're also on author?

Yes, and you had you had written books or a book prior to when

you started your stand up in your motivational career. You said you had already

You're already an author at that point. I was because I had my DJ

business. Yeah, I've in djaying weddings at that point for a number of

years, since the fall of nineteen ninety three, is when he started with

a friends company, and then within a year I had my own. Yeah.

It was a collection of short stories about the most bizarre things that survived

as a wedding DJ. It's called Table seven Your Centerpieces on Fire and a

dear friend of mine wrote three chapters and I thirteenth of mine. So that

was my very first book. The other three books started the personal development positivity

stuff, but that one was written at the lowest point in my life and

it was very well received and a reviewer called it required reading for nervous brides.

Did be a big favor with that review, and it sold a pretty

decent amount of copies. Oh that's cool. That's cool. Isaac Banks is

our friend from one of our friends from Greensboro, North Carolina, was asking

in the chat room who your favorite comedian is. My favorite comedian I've got

several for different reasons. I love Robin Williams, yeah, for his ability

to just be energetic and be able to take anything around him and create material

with it. Oh yeah, and I love some of the storytellers. What's

his name? From the blue Collar comedy to a Ron Ron White? Oh

yeah, I love Ron White's approach. Me too, I really do.

Of all the blue collar guys, he was always my favorite. Me too.

Oh, I always thought he is on a completely different level than the

other three. Yeah, by far, we have a call. Louis is

on the line. Hello, is this Matt Connerson? Yes it is.

Hey. Listen, remember what I told you about Mike last week. He's

got a wholest named after to his son running right now with Finger Lakes,

New York. Matt Doyle number eight. Everyone's down on this horse, very

heavy, six to five. He's a huge favorite. I gotta go watch

the race now. But he owns his horse. The name of the horse

is Matt Doyle. Matta. I gotta go now and watch the race,

all right, Good luck to Matt Doyle. That was Louie Louie Angelidas.

I think it is how you say his name. Nice. Interesting? Um.

Oh so now we we talked about it off air, but a little

bit. But we talked about Tony Robbins. But do you have I mean

might be an odd question, but as a motivational speaker, do you have.

Are there other motivational speakers who have kind of influenced you, much like

say certain stand up comics might influence you, or or if you're a musician,

you know musicians might influence you. Are there motivational speakers who have influenced

you? Definitely? Jack Canfield was always a favorite of mine because Jack is

the same on and off stage. He's just one of those people. He's

a storyteller, but he's a very matter of fact and I'm not I'm not

into the ra ra rod by my stuff speakers anymore. Yeah, the lasers,

the fog, the thundering music and all of that jumping up and down.

Not into that. Jack Hanfield is always a favorite. Ed my Lett

is somebody I respect a great deal. And also Mel Robbins I love because

she's so she's a lot like what I am. Very in your face,

matter of fact. Here's this, try this, and she's just very direct.

I'm not into the very woo woo type of speakers. Although when I

do the visualization work, people go that it's too woo woo from me.

I said, well, look the way I explain it, it's blue collar

woo because that's my background. I'm a blue collar, work ethic and valued

guy. Right, I will teach you how you can construct it with your

hammer and your nails and a piece of wood, how to build what I'm

talking about without being all woo woo about it. So those are three of

my favorites. And I've gotten away from the big, thundering, over the

top motivational stuff. So the Tony Robbins, it's just not I just don't

respond to it like his earlier stuff. And then of course you get the

people to go well, Steve, if Tony invited, you'd be on one

of the stages, you'd say no, no, I'd say yes, of

course, and I would. You would announce me, and I'd come out

and I say, Tony, thank you so much for having me here.

Do me a favor. I'd like the house lights halfway up, DJ,

please turn off the music, get rid of that fog, lasers off,

and I would walk out and I would sit on the front of the stage

with my legs dangling and have an intimate conversation with twenty five thousand people about

why I became a speaker and why I'm there. That would be how I

would respond to that, and I would just go out and be me see

as a Kiss fan, I like the Lasers and the Pyro. Yeah,

I'm a big Kiss fan. Belade the first decade, Yeah, the original

guys. But the show I mean that for me is World the Magic Happened.

Yeah, Yeah, I'm a I'm a I love all eras of the

band. But no, we were kind of talking off air too about and

I don't know if anyone listening. Uh. I read a couple of Tony

Robbins books early on. I was I was a fan and I used to

kind of get a kick out of those back in the days of late night

infomercials and maybe they still run I don't know on cable television, but I

used to kind of get a kick out of those. But um, but

uh, the if you go on YouTube and I don't think he's always done

this, but um, he swears a lot. Yeah, and it becomes

and it comes across as very cringe because like he's dropping all these f bombs

and it's like, is he trying to The cringe part is it seems very

forced, like he's trying to be edgy because he thinks that that's how you

pull people in and it's and it, but he does it so much it's

like, oh God, like why you know. Yeah, I saw him

live two thousand, I believe, January two thousand down in Boston. It

was one of those all day events where he gets all his buddies. Everybody

gets forty five minutes and ten minutes into their presentation, they're just selling their

stuff anyway. Yeah, and that was the time, right about when he

started to really get over the top with the swearing and stuff. And look,

I don't you know, swearing doesn't necessarily bother me. Oh, it

doesn't offend me. I just think it's cringe when he when he does it

something I respond to when I'm trying to put my life together in a certain

way. That's a bit over the top. And it did seem forced as

well. Yeah, And the danger of that is and I know this firsthand

because a dear friend of mine, one of my biggest, most loyal speaking

clients, attended an event. She drove all the way up into Vermont to

support a friend of hers who was starting to do speaking. Yeah, and

he went into a room it was about sixty percent women and forty percent men,

and he started doing basically his Tony Robbins impression. This is real estate

people, and he's swearing and cursing and stomping and all that, and he

drove all the women out of the room within twenty minutes. Oh wow.

My friend went to him during the break and said, what do you do?

And he goes, oh, this is great, ast powerful. I

saw Tony Robbins stewart, so I thought I would do it too, And

she goes, Um, some of the ladies left skid marks leaving the parking

lot because it just it's not authentic to him. Now that's authentic to Tony.

Now hey, fine, yeah, pow or too. You do it.

I mean, you're billionaire, you don't mind my opinion, right,

But I would never get on a stage and try to be something i'm not

because people can tell when it's forced. Yeah, yeah, I kind of

have a It's interesting too that you tell me about how it drove drove the

women off, because I've I've been like this my whole life. Well,

I don't I don't swear much to begin with. I mean, I'm not

offended by it now. I'll drop an F bomb at an appropriate moment,

but some people, like I've been around a lot of people who you know,

they use the F word like a comma, just in conversation, and

it's like, okay, you do realize that you're saying it so much it

doesn't after a while, it doesn't mean anything. Like south Park did an

episode about that with the S word, you know, where you know,

if you use it so much, after a while, it's like, what's

even the point. What's the point of swearing When you use it so much

it doesn't mean anything. But I've always had a rule too, and I

think I think my dad might have kind of instilled this in me. I

generally or very rarely do I swear in front of women. I was kind

of just raised with that, like, you know, it's one thing if

you're around dudes. And I hope nobody takes this wrong and thinks I'm being

sexist, because I don't because I don't mean to be. It's it's it's

out of respect because I have so much respect for women, and I think

it's important. I think if to be a real man is to be respectful

to women, and um, so I you know, I certainly don't mean

any sex anything sexist by it, but I very rarely do I swear around

women, I just think it's women and children. You just don't have children

obviously. But you know, it's like and when I hear, like when

I'm out in public and I hear somebody swear, I mean, you shouldn't

be, you know, if you're in a store or something, you shouldn't

be dropping F bombs anywhere where other people can are, other people can hear

you, because you never know, you don't know what somebody's sensitivities might be.

And I'm kind of a stickler. I'm unfailingly polite generally anyway, but

but especially like when I hear a dude like dropping F bombs and there's women

around, it's like, you know, I don't know. To me,

it's very um uncouth. I don't know. I don't know else to say

it, but you know what I mean. And so to get on stage

and do that, you know, unless it's a stand up comedy show.

If it's a stand up comedy show and it's a comic who works blue,

obviously the women in the audience know that going in, so that that's that's

fine. I don't want anybody to think, oh, Matt doesn't think Chris

Rock should be swearing in front of women on stage. No, I'm not

saying that, but but yeah, but I can imagine though these women at

the you know there there that's Tony Robbins and they're you know, having to

listen to that. That's that's got to be a pretty jarring Yeah. And

I've always been a person where I would rather use my creativity. Now I

could. I could be adult in nature, like I said back when I

did stand up comedy, Yeah, it could be adult in nature, but

it was never offensive. Yeah. And somebody came up one time and said,

Steve, you didn't swear the whole time, Like, yeah, I

mean that's that's part of the thing for me. You know, I may

drop one, you know, not real bad one here and there. Yeah,

And then the person started laughing, because but you're funny as hell.

Man. Do you paint pictures with words? Yeah? You very cleverly said

what those other guys said by dropping f bombs, right, you You got

clever with it and painted a picture and let us go with it where we

chose to go. And I would rather be clever. You know, if

you go back to the movie Spinal Tap, it's a fine line between stupid

and clever. It's one of my absolute favorite favorite films. But it's true.

Yeah, if you put that little bit of extra effort and you can,

you can go right to the edge and maybe lean over it, but

your foot doesn't cross it with the obvious, you know, the not to

say that it's lower class, but the lowest common denominator way. And even

as a speaker, I do that. You know, some people may just

be rah rah bro jumping up and down getting people to yell. I can

do it, just leven off the front of the stage, paint the picture

and being in more control of who I am and not just getting caught up

in energy energy energy. I'd rather be able to keep it high, low,

fast, slow and paint a picture and then re element at a certain

spot with that within a tenth of a second of exactly the right amount of

timing. You look somebody the eye and they nod and they don't even know

they're doing it, and you go, Okay, there's one connection. Let

me find somebody else. Let me find somebody else. That to me is

much better and more impactful than just you know, getting that mass hysteria going

yeah with sometimes you know, maybe the lowest common denominator shock value type of

word. Well, when you when you speak quietly to people too well,

or if you do that, you know, you go high, you go

low, you go you know. As as a hypnotist, I understand this

as well. But you know, you can really pull people in, you

know. And it's it's the old actor's trick too, you know, you

speak quietly and then people they're forced to pay more attention to you, you

know. And obviously I use that too, and hypnosis, but yeah,

yeah, um so do you I mean, when you get up and speak

in front of people, how how long is that do you do? Or

does it vary? It probably varies depending on the kind of event, right,

it varies. I used to just tell people however long it is,

they'll fill the time. Yeah. The sweet spot for me is generally forty

five to sixty minutes. Yeah, for a keynote presentation. That's that's my

sweet spot. I am a sprinter, not a long distance runner. Yeah.

I know, people who can do all day trainings, Oh my gosh,

staple might shoes to the floor. That's not my sweet spot. Yeah.

And as my career has grown, I've gotten much more open and honest,

right up front. Look, this is what I do, This is

how I do it, This is how I dress. You know, you

can see me today. I'm wearing jeans and a black T shirt that has

got vision. This is what I wear on stage now. Yeah, and

I just tell people this is who I am. If I'm a good fit,

great And ever since I set those boundaries, things have gotten better open

and honest about what I say what I don't. Some people say, Steve,

we need you to talk about this topic. I don't talk about that

topic. Somebody asked me to come to a bullying conference once for teens,

and they said, we need you to speak on bullying. I said,

you do not want me to speak on bullying. I said why not?

I said, because I you know, my personal belief is it's okay to

punch a bully square in the face. And when you're on the ground breeding,

you explain to them bullying is wrong, and then you help them up.

And the director of that event goes, yeah, we can't have you

say that. I told you. I told you that's not what you want

me. You know this is probably not the message you want, right.

You know, I wasn't bullied severely. But I had a bully for a

little bit when I was a kid, and there was one day that I

basically, you know, we're not him. Yeah, and we became friends

after that. Yeah. That that can well. Yeah, if you stand

up to people, they'll respect him or certainly. Yeah, Melanie said something

funny in the chat. He said, I'm now envisioning him swearing. Look

who's you've seen your weapons against you? Now? Oh I'm not saying I

never swear. Yeah, I'm just more appropriate, yea than ever before.

And I will ask people, you know, what's the temperature of the room.

Yeah, yeah, And that's all. It's just to know what to

do. But it's it's so much more fun to paint pictures with words and

some of my favorite lines to deliver ever on stage or actually in a loud

whisper on a microphone. Really everybody leans in and then I say it,

and then when they get the picture they crack up. Yeah. I could

have just done it with a swear, but do it that way. Just

try to be more aging. Yeah. Yeah. Alex Whiteley says, Steve,

do you have to get all the bad juju out before you go on

stage? So I guess yeah, yes, yeah, is there a mental

process you go? It's important. A lot of times for me it comes

down to music of a certain song in my head, or I'll play to

my AirPods or something before I go on stage. Yeah, or in my

Tina. I always call her my Tina. But if I just say Tina,

people go, you didn't say my Tina, It's something wrong. So

my Tina, my wife Tina will text me five to ten minutes before I

go on stage, and she goes, hey, baby, I'm thinking about

you. I know you're gonna be awesome today. Go go do a great

job that lights me up so much that it gets rid of anything else.

I'm riding that energy. And if she's not available or I don't have a

cell signal and can't get a text from her, I will listen to a

song or something that gets me in a good mood. Or I'll go watch

a fun a YouTube video or something right before I go on. So I'm

in that emotion and people ask to go, Steve, don't you ever get

nervous? And I always say, look, I only get nervous every time.

The first ninety seconds for me can be the most nerve wracking time on

stage because I need to get a laugh verse sixty to ninety seconds, and

I'll always jump in with something either tied to the theme of the event or

the name of the company or something. Yeah, to get a laugh and

make the first connection. Yep. And as soon as I get it,

oh, it's on. Yeah, We're there. Yeah. And if it

doesn't, I just keep working harder and harder, gauge the crowd, change

my approach. Yeah, you know, it's not. I don't just go

up and read the same script all the time. It's it's it's establishing connection

early on and then flowing from there. Our friend Alfredo Enrique Benavitas, also

known simply as Fredo, very talented musician. He's on the chat room,

he says, Dewey Cock thinks about his entire life before he goes on stage.

You've seen that movie part of it recently, Walk Hard. That's such

a great that is such a great film. It's it's very funny, and

those characters in the writing are brilliant in that movie. So thank you for

that. It's a good laugh. That was an excellent, excellent reference,

Alfredo. Um oh, boy, Melanie said something I don't even want to

read on the air. By the way, have you always been a natural

extrovert? Or is that okay? I am a hardwired introvert. Interesting and

most people don't believe it, but it is true. I am a relatively

quiet trying to be an extrovert for years. Yeah, and just felt so

fake with it. And now I just I come out and play and I

go right back to just my quiet life. I am exactly the same way.

I Yeah, people are surprised because you know, people if I tell

people that about me though, people who don't know me very well this day,

But how do you do a so how do you do a radio show?

Or you know, I used to play in bands? How did you

get up on stage and playing bands and stuff? And what I explain to

people? And you know this is as you know, this is common with

introverts, is um. We tend to be more comfortable in a performance setting,

you know, like behind behind a microphone. This is where I actually

feel the safest. I'm much I feel much safer here or on a stage,

playing in a band, or a public speaking which a lot of people

are terrified by. I have no problem any kind of any kind of performance

type thing being on television, whatever it is. That's where I feel the

safestum much more so than like I don't go to parties. You know,

even in high school, I didn't like doing that. Uh I don't I

you know, Uh, it's not and it's not that I'm anti social or

anything like that, you know, I'm just I'm more comfortable in some sort

of performance setting that I am in just you know, normal interactions with people.

I'm horrible at making small talk with people. That's like my worst thing.

Like if somebody, if if I run into somebody i haven't seen in

a while and they say to me, like my least favorite question to ever

be asked is when someone says to me, so, what's new with you?

Like something inside of me sinks when I hear those words. It's like,

oh God, because then I feel this pressure like I have to respond

with something interesting, but I don't have anything interesting. So I'm just gonna

say, oh, not much, which a lot of the time isn't even

true. I probably do have interesting things going on, I just don't feel

like explaining it all to this person who who I'm having this brief interaction with,

and then we're just gonna go about our you know, I just I

don't even like it's almost like I don't even want to put an effort to

have that conversation because to me, it's just performative and it's like, you

know, you know, I just I'm that kind of introvert. I hate

small talk, you know. Even meeting you outside, we didn't have small

talk. You notice that, like, like, because so the audience doesn't

know this, but I ran into you on the street and I knew it

was you right away because of your shirt, and so I introduced myself.

Like we we got right into I don't know what what did. I don't

even remember what we talked about, but it was we went right into an

interesting conversation, you know what I mean. There was no like, um,

I don't know. It wasn't chit chat. It was an actual conversation

right from the moment we met. Yeah, and that's what I prefer because

I can't do the whole Yeah. Oh boy, the weather it sure is

hot. Oh, I can't do it. Yeah. And I was big

in networking for years. I was a member of B and I Business Networking

International. I was the lead trainer for the State of New Hampshire. I

was one of the assistant directors. Yeah, and I cringe now when people

say, hey, Steve, we're going to a networking event. Yeah.

I was the dancing monkey for many years, center of attention guy all that.

It wasn't really me and I was not comfortable in that skin. So

I developed a question that I would ask people at networking events. Yeah,

they'd come up and say, so, Steve, what do you do?

I said, well, I have a question for you. Who was your

favorite person you got to help this week or what was your favorite chat,

you know, pain you made go away for somebody. Yeah, And we

would instantly have these incredible conversations because they'd say, huh, well we had

this person come in with this, and all of a sudden, there I'm

watching them relive the joy of helping somebody. Yeah, and then they would

ask me, so what do you do, and I'd just look at them

and go this, that's conversations like this. Yeah, that flipped the switch

for me with regard to networking. That's smart. It made it purposeful and

real. I got to have some really good conversations because I'm not a big

fan of the idle chit chat. Yeah, yeah. Oh it's painful to

me. It's like physically painful. So that I'm going to try to adapt

that strategy. We have a call. Our friend Ron is on the line.

Hi, Ron, Hey, Matt, what snow? What's up with

you? Oh? God, you're killing me? Nothing? Nothing, nothing's

newer up. I caught the show a little bit on the tail end.

Yes, and I wonder if you could reintroduce your guest in you know what

he's all about? And uh, And I'll leave it said, because I

am curious so far from what I've been listening. But I have no idea

this guy could be a you know, nuclear scientist or however or whatever.

So I wonder if you could get me up to speed. Oh okay,

Ron, I appreciate that. Thank you. Well, we'll do that immediately.

Bye bye, all right, bye bye. I actually, honestly,

as a radio guy, I should be much better about that anyway. I

you know, sometimes I have this habit of I almost run the show more

like a podcast than a radio show. It's a bad habit that I have.

I think it's because I started out podcasting. But yes, this is

nuclear physicist Steve Gamblin. No, he's uh. I am the last guy

who want to charge of technology like that, especially something that could you know,

end the world. Right if if technology is left up to me,

believe me, we'd still be running from dinosaurs in trying to discover fire.

No, but I'll actually I'll let you. You would do a better job

than I would. Go ahead and for ron and listeners just joining us,

tell us what you do. Yeah, my name is Steve Gamblin. I

enjoy life as a professional speaker, blending motivation, positivity, and humor.

Do a lot with visualization to help people to see what their goals are and

how to build an action plan to get there. And I also get to

do some fun things like write books, and other professional speakers actually pay me

to make their material Funnier's yeah, that's one of my favorite parts of what

I do. Is the smallest pillar under the business, but it's a great

deal of joy. And I do voiceover work as well. Yeah yeah,

yeah, Well the first time I heard your voice was that birthday message to

Jenny. That's why I'm here, which is very perfect. You know,

we talk about opportunities and little things. Yeah, because a week ago I

got on the microphone in my studio and sent a message to my Facebook friend

Jenny. Yep, who I don't think i'd ever have a conversation with before.

Yeah, that's why I'm here. So we talk about taking those actions

and put things out there, even if we don't know. I didn't expect

it. Yeah, I didn't know you were connected. Yep, here we

are. Yeah, yeah, here we are. So thank you absolutely absolutely

U if you'd like to enter the discussion six zo three two five h six

O seven six zo three two five six seven. Oh wow, it's already

we're a bit past the top of the hour. Are you okay or do

you need to go? I'm good, you stay a little bit longer.

I'm good. Awesome, awesome. Um oh yeah, Jenny, I just

said in the Chadian Matt and I were talking about that you are a great

guest. Um. Yeah, can you tell me too about Um this is

something I saw in your bio or it might have been in something else that

you had sent us something about. And I hadn't thought about this in a

long time, but The Secret, and I've seen the DVD a long time

ago when The Secret came out and for people who don't remember, oh,

Jenny says my plane broke llol delayed again. That sucks. Well, at

least she's in a It's Manchester is a nice airport. Um. But I

remember the DVD coming out what was at that like middle two thousands, it

was two thousand and four to two thousand and five, because I had it

as well, okay, And I remember watching it, and I remember thinking

at the time, I think, I think they're giving out. I think

this is a bad idea in one sense, and that I don't believe that

you can just you know, wish really hard for something and it's just going

to come to you. And by the way the way they present it there.

And I know there's a book too, which I've never read, but

I did watch the DVD just out of curiosity. And I think the other

thing too I noticed with it at the time. See, I'm something of

an anti materialist. I don't material possessions, expensive things, don't, you

know, unless they have a purpose, a practical purpose, they don't really

turn me on. So you know, when they're talking in this uh DVD

about you know, if you visualize the Lamborghini you want and then eventually you'll

have it, It's like, I don't really care about having a Lamborghini,

So what does this do for me? So I didn't like it was it

had a very materialistic element to it. On the positive side, I do

believe that the energy that you put out is what you give back. So

if you put positive energy out into the world, you're more apt to get

positive energy back. Whether you want to think of that in terms of it

being a metaphysical thing, or maybe maybe it's not metaphysical. Maybe that's just

how life works. For example, if you're nice to people, they're more

likely to be nice to you in return. If you're mean to people,

they're more likely to be mean you. So that can work in different ways.

There are different ways to think about it. But the whole energy thing

as a broader concept I do believe is basically true. But the way they

presented it, I was like, this almost it's it's almost like they're trying

to pull you into some sort of a multi level marketing scheme. The way

they're you know, visualize the mansion that you want and eventually you'll have it.

It's like, kind of this is actually kind of terrible in a way.

But the secret came up in something that you had sent me, So

I was curious to get your thoughts on it, very similar to everything you

just said, because I also did not have the book. I had the

DVD and I watched it a lot, and when I first got it was

when my life was still kind of in the ashes. Yeah. I made

a point to watch it every Sunday night for about eight nine weeks in a

row, really, And out of the ninety eight minutes of the DVD,

the thing that rubbed me the wrong way the most is they had a genie

in a magic lamp that kept popping up and said, your wish is my

command. And I'm thinking it's not that easy. Now, your energy can

increase the odds that similar energy will come back. Yes, it increases the

odds. There's no there's no cut and dry, black and white. Yes

here. Yeah. Out of the ninety eight minutes, two thirds of the

way through, this guy John ast Raft comes on, BOYD never heard of

prior. Yeah, And he talks about these things called vision board. And

he didn't teach them how to make one. He just said, you find

pictures of things you want to have, you put him in a place where

you can focus on them on a regular basis. That's really all he said.

Yeah, But what it turned out was he was actually living in the

exact house that he had put him on his vision board years prior. Really,

and also he had material stuff on there as well, and like you

said, a lot of it was all the material based stuff. Yeah,

we'll pull the curtain on my industry. All those videos you see with the

Lamborghinis in the mansions of the yacht, A lot of those rented for the

videos, Oh of course, just like yeah, like the mansion and it's

echoing for days, right right, Yeah, it's the shell of a mansion.

You know, all our furniture is getting cleaned, right, No,

because my car's getting towed away, right and the real owner of the yacht

is sailing. Yeah, but that's I also believe that to be the truth.

So I took from it what I took from it, meaning the right

energy, have a clear vision of what you want, and I just kept

going deeper and deeper into all the eight areas of life. Ye to taking

consistent action. It's not wishing for a genie. How many people do we

see say I want to be a millionaire, and they're watching They're sitting on

their couch watching Powerball go from two hundred billion, and they're going, I

want to be rich. I want to be rich. I want to rich.

And so what are you doing? They go, I'm manifesting. No,

you're not. Your your butt cheeks in your couch cushion, need to

get a divorce. You need to walk all the way to the store or

drive and actually buy a ticket. Yeah, for it to even potentially happen.

And the problem is too many people think thinking or wishing is manifesting.

It's not. Manifesting means, in my opinion, to make to cause,

to make happen, right, making it real, which means you have to

take the action exactly, get there exactly. Yeah. Um oh. Alex

Whiteley and the Chatter says, they did a great episode about vision boards on

all Ways Sunny in Philadelphia. Did you see that, Steve? I did

not. I think I've seen every other vision board related thing in the world

because my friends all send them to me. Yeah, saying hey, look

it's that's stuff you talk about. Fredo said, how about neutral energy?

I give math and receive math in return. Well, I think that that's

probably what a lot of people do. Actually, Yeah, that's kind of

the middle ground. I think that's where a lot of people are. Yeah,

it's just in that. You know, there are some people that see

me come in and smile or be happy and it's too much for them really,

and I'll dial it back, you know, they're just they're not used

to it. Yeah. You know. One of the things we love to

do with with beach Bum Philanthropy is maybe pay for the groceries of the person

behind us if there's only a couple of items. Well, I used to

be over the top going hi, my name is Steve, and I'm from

a group called beach Bump Growthriy, and I'm gonna pay for your groceries.

That that was a big mistake. And I watched the pride oh out of

this one woman's face because she felt pitied. Oh, and I just I

shook my head and I said, I'm so sorry, and she just held

her hand up. I'm all set. Oh wow. And so I developed

an approach to it to just be a little more gentle. Yeah, and

say, excuse me. My name is Stephen. I'm from a group called

beech Bum Philanthropy, and we're a nonprofit and we each have to commit an

active kindness every day and at this time it was ten minutes of seven at

night. I was supposed to be home at six, yeah, and here

it is ten minutes of seven. I'm going to get an ingredient we needed

for dinner at six. So I said, look, I haven't done my

active kindness yet. It's almost seven o'clock. And whoever doesn't do an active

kindness has to wash dishes after dinner. I don't like washing dishes, So

if you would just let me pay for those couple of items, I can

skate free and not have to wash a single dish tonight. And the gentleman

looked at me, and he looked at the young lady at the register.

She goes, it's okay, we know his family. He's not being weird.

And he said okay. It was three dollars and ninety seven cents.

Yeah, And he held his hand end out and I shook his hand,

and he looked up at me and he said, my wife just passed away

a couple of weeks ago, and she used to do all the groceries,

so I'm feeling kind of lost here. Oh wow, And I just thought

and I shook his hand. I said, sir, I'm so sorry.

For your loss. But I'm so honored to have had this conversation and I

wish you the best. Yeah. And I walked out of the store.

And at the time, we're living right up the street from the store,

and I walked in and my wife looks at the clock and I said,

I got a great story. Yeah. I was supposed to be at Hanaford.

I was supposed to be fifty minutes late for dinner because I just got

to help this gentleman. Yeah. And she goes, Wow, you went

the long way around for that one. She goes, A good thing.

He showed up. But see it wasn't over the top. It was just

it was it's kind of meeting somebody where they're at and going five percent above

yeah, yeah, and gently raising their temperature to be a part of the

moment. I mean, the the man was almost crying, the young lady

at the register was. And I got emotional in that moment too, And

I mean, I just got to relive that again. And yeah, I

see it on the radio. But I got goose bumps up and down both

arms like I was talking about earlier when the access says memories, Yeah,

Alex Wiley said, now this is interesting. He says, there's a geographical

energy exchange too. People in London look down and barely acknowledge each other.

People in Shrosphere couldn't be friendlier. Why is that? I mean my only

explanation. It's the way it's always been. And culturally we are very different.

And I'm part of that radio station over in the UK and they've told

me a number of times you can drive twenty five fifty miles or kilometers and

people will be totally different town to town, village to village. It's just

the way they've always been. Some are much more quiet and reserved. Some

are very friendly no matter where you go. Yeah, it's just a matter

of recognizing it, meeting people where they're at. And like I said,

for me, I just try to go five percent above and if I can

create a little shift, yeah, that to me is a big win because

I never know how far that ripple will go. Yeah, but I've been

around people who even in my DJ days, I was teaching a corporate event

one time, a lunchtime outdoor barbecue, and a gentleman walked past and he

had a very grim look, serious look on his face. I said,

service there a song I could play you. No, I said, it'll

brighten up your day. Don't want it brightened? And I knew then I

go, Steve, shut up, let him walk past, let him go

get his bratt worst and his corn on the cob, and just leave him.

Yeah, and find somebody that's a better fit. That's all nothing against

him. Yeah, of course his world. It's not for me to try

to change. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Hughie the Gecko is in the

chatwoman says, great guest Matt Steve acts of kindness, a man, keep

on brother, thank you. Very cool. Yeah, he's a very positive

guy himself. Hue the Gecko, Um, it's a blast. He also,

I was gonna say, well, he says, well, actually,

I believe that is because uh shrew shrewsphere borders, Whales, Welsh influence.

Oh in terms of friendliness. Oh maybe I don't know if I'm even saying

these names correctly, But Alex Whiteley says Steve needs to revolutionize New York,

bringing back the smile. Ha ha. I've been to New York. I

performed stand up comedy twice in New York City. What's that like? Because

I would imagine if there's one place where they'll they'll eat you alive if they

don't like you. It's New York. Well, should I tell the experience

of the time I was wearing a Red Sox jersey? Go on, Yes,

I'd like to hear. That wasn't even intentional. I mean a friend

of mine, a Boston comedian friend, and I decided, let's hop a

train go to New York City. This doesn't end with you getting a beating,

okay, good, just making sure it's a good ending, okay.

And so I wore I always wore in Boston, which was a pair of

jeans and in a Red Sox jersey. And I didn't even think of where

I was going, And so we went. We hit a couple of the

clubs, and the last club we played, I can't remember who it was

the comedy seller, or which room it was, but I was comic number

thirty two out of thirty four. Yeah. So it was the end of

the night, very late. The audience was very drunk, and they were

very mad at the comedian before me, who was very angry towards the audience

when over his time got his mic shut off. He jumped up on the

piano and just started screaming at people. And then they announced me. Yeah,

and I walked up and I said hey, and some guy from the

back goes, hey, Boston, and I said, you know, two

world series so far this decade, and he goes, we got twenty seven.

Shut up. And then I just broke character and I said, hey,

I'm just gonna be honest with you. First off, ton of respect

for the Yan. He's jeter and pasodic, could have played alongside Ruth and

Garrett. I said, nothing but respect. I go, I'm just the

moron who got it on a train in Boston wearing what he wore at clubs

in Boston. Yeah. And they were cool the rest of the time because

I short respect. I wasn't doing it to be a jerk. Yeah,

I just didn't think so. Even in a situation where things may not potentially

go well, you don't have to make it worse, right, Just throw

yourself on the sword a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, say hey,

I made a bad decision, but I'm here to help you laugh a little

bit and forget about your day. Yeah. And some people came up at

the end, they go, nice recovery, because we'd have destroyed you if

you were to attack us. Yeah. Yeah, and they were really cool

with it. Yeah that's good. You went there twice, to New York

to do twice. Yeah, the other time went well, Yeah, it

was you know, as well as could be expected. Yeah. I wondered

because you know, I listened to some of these podcasts now, not so

much lately, but some of these UM the way the way comedians from New

York, the way they talk about the you know, like not not the

really famous people, but you know people who are still on that level where

they live in New York and they're playing New York a lot, and they're

kind of local. Like I don't know if you ever listened to UM Kevin

Brennan. No, I'm not as familiar, unplugged from the community. Yeah,

but yeah, they make it sound like it's the most brutal place to

do stand up common which makes sense. I mean, it's New York City,

right, it can be. Well, we just talked about the difference

of the cities and towns and villages in the energy. Yeah. New York

is a very in your face city. Oh yeah, it's just is people

are. They're very direct, they're very blunt. I mean, right,

the subway in New York. I would struggle. I would just sit there

with my head down saying, I'm not from here, I'm from here.

I'm a victim already, you know. But it's just different, and you

adapt. Yeah. If you can adapt, you can survive. Yeah,

And you can learn some skills and toughen up. Yeah, and go somewhere

else whereas I used to do a lot of shows here in Manchester at some

of the bars they would now open mic nights. Totally different from the bigger

city. Yeah, the more high pressure Boston was very different. I played

The Comedy Connection at Fanuel Hall several times. Yeah, very different show there

as well. So it's just read wherever you are, read the room,

yeah, and figure out the best worry for you to inject your energy into

the room. Because I'm not a conflict or in your face, right person,

right right? We have a call? She was online here. Hi,

Welcome to Matt Connerton Unleashed? Is this? Oh? I like if

I thought the people were nice in New York and every time I've been there,

and at least we're still allowed to do comedy, that's true. What's

up, Dave? Well, a couple of things. But I noticed for

the last hour. You have a guest, so I wasn't sure if I

could call in and talk about it. But there is some New Hampshire you

it's worth talking about. Oh can you can you hit us with that tomorrow,

Dave in the in the first hour? Would that be possible? I

can attempt you. Okay, wonderful, and I still want to have that

free talk live conversation too, but yeah, if you can, if you

can buzz in tomorrow during the first hour, that would be perfect. I

may be able to do that. Okay, if you can, you can,

I appreciate it, Dave, all right, thanks, all right,

man, bye bye. Um, Steve's got a great voice. Yeah he's

He's just here on the phone even I go. Steve's got a really good

voice. He does. Yeah. Um, it's about five thirty. I

should hit these commercial spots. Do you want it? Can you stay till

six? I don't mean to put you on the spot, but I'm really

enjoying the conversation. So if you're just joining us, we have Steve gambling

here. We should take a brief moment to show some love to our amazing

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the nomos Hey. Welcome back everybody. It is Matt Connerton Unleashed and we

are live as we cruise into our final segment today Here from the studios of

WMNH ninety five point three FM and Glorious Downtown Manchester, New Hampshire, also

on Comcast ninety seven if you're in Manchester, and Hello to all of our

online listeners across the nation and around the globe. You can go to my

website Matt Connerton dot com for all of your live streaming options, social media

links, contact in folk show archives, etc. Etc. Today is Monday,

July twenty four, two thousand to twenty three, and joining us at

the newsdesk. He's a radio guy himself. Steve Gamblin is here. Heavan

Blast, Andy's a motivational speaker and former stand up comedian and lots of stuff.

But if you'd like to join us today, Steva has agreed to stick

around to the end of the show, which I'm very happy about it.

I thought that might happen. I knew we were going to get to talking

and then I was gonna end up trying not to let you leave. But

if you'd like to enter the discussion six zo three two five size six zho

three two five six seven uh six three two five oz six zo seven,

you can also text me at six one seven nine one seven four four seven

six. I'm on social media at Matt Connerton. You can email me Matt

at Matt Connerton dot com, and of course you can interact endo Pine in

the Facebook live chat. But the best thing to do so that we can

hear and enjoy your dulcet tones is give us a call at six two five

zero six zero seven. So while we were in the commercial break, a

name came up, Mike Morrin, and Mike has been on this show.

It was it was two or three years ago now, but it was Um.

He had just put out a book about his radio career. Oh and

the name, the name escapes me, but it's Shades of Radio, fifty

Shades of Radio, Thank you, Yes. And I know he's He's written

at least another book since then, but I think about bowling. But fifty

Shades of Radio, Yes, great, great book. And um, I

was so excited to have him on. He'd already been on the morning show.

He had done the Morning Show with Peter White, and then he agreed

to because I think that's where I got the contact from, and then he

agreed to come on my show as well. The reason I was excited to

talk to him was I used to listen to him when I was a kid.

I used to listen to now it's sham in ninety four to five,

But when I was a kid in the eighties, it was double U z

O U yes. And I used to listen to They called it the Boston

Morning Zoo. I think they were using that name when Mike was there,

but it was Mike and a guy named Brad, and I don't remember Brad's

so I used to I used to refer to it as the Brad and Mike

Show, but I know it's not that. What did you say it was

the Krantz. It was Brad Krantz. So it was morning more in Krantz,

Oh right, right, right, more in Kranz. Yeah. But

I used to listen to that, and I was such a fan, and

I think that actually is part of what probably a big part of what sparked

my interest in radio. I was such a fan. I would do the

thing where I had the tape deck set up and I would record. Whenever

they would do any kind of a sketch, any kind of a bit,

I would hit record and I would and I would record it, and if

I liked it, if I thought it was funny, I would keep it.

If it wasn't something that I thought was particularly funny, I would rewind

the tape to the beginning of where that bit started, so I would you

know, the next time a different bit came up. I would hit record

and if I like that, I would save that. And so I ended

up with and my dad, you know, he listens to the show.

He probably even remembers this. I ended up with this whole u collection of

cassettes and it was like my own personal best of collection that I'd made of

that show. So, you know, I would make mixtapes of music as

well, like normal kids would, but the weirdo that I was, I

would also make mixtapes of Mike Morin's show on w ZOU. So that's so.

Then he came on the show to talk about his book, and I

was like, I remember saying to him, Dude, I'm sorry if I'm

being like a weird fanboy, but you got to understand you affected my childhood.

You know, it's it's it's talking to you. It's it's like talking

to one of my rock and roll heroes, you know what I mean?

This is surreal to me, so um and just a super nice guy.

Um. So you uh, you know him much better than I do.

It sounds like from what you were saying off the air, and I'd love

to hear hear you're Mike Morin's story. Yeah. Well, my very first

job was being a copywriter at wcg Y when Mike was the Morning The Morning

Show ninety three point seven and the well he started in the late eighties.

But I got there in fall of ninety two, and each day I would

be writing commercials and I would bring them downstairs to each DJ said Okay,

here's your production for the day, and we'd just you know, be talking

or laugh a little bit. And one day Mike pulled me aside in the

hallway and said, I don't know if it'll ever happen here because they don't

really want to spend extra money. But someday I love your work ethic,

love your style, I really like your sense of humor, and I think

you're a really good person. Someday I would love to have you as my

morning show producer. And I thought, oh my gosh. And I had

two angels named Daniel, now I got named one named Mike because that's what

started me to what I really wanted to do in radio, which was the

comedy, the humor, the being kind of the puppet master behind the show,

doing everything it didn't require speaking. I did everything else because it didn't

have the guts to get on the mic and within three months, they spent

a little bit of money built a little studio in between the on air and

the production studio, and Mike and Gary Levitt and the sports guy and the

news guy would all be in there. Yeah, And I was on the

other side of the glass, being a morning show producer. I didn't get

paid for that, Yeah, but it got me started to understand how to

write comedy. And it got to the point where I was a national level

comedy and song parody writer, kind of like weird al Yeah, I was

doing all the topical song parent and I got paid for it, and I

wound up winning that major award at Rock on on one. So that conversation,

and Mike is still a dear friend, and we always referred to each

other as the other half. Mike would say, Steve is the other half

of my brain. I'd say, well, Mike's the other half of mine.

One of us could think of something from the other side of the glass,

the other person would already hold it up, knowing where we were going.

And we had this amazing connection. There's only two other people in the

world. I have that connection with my wife Tina and my dad. Yeah,

and Mike. Yeah, that's it. So he's still a hero of

mine and a dear, dear friend, and I just love the guy.

And I'm in three chapters of his book. Yeah, one of them.

Actually, he asked me, he said, Look, you've got a memory

that rivals anybody's. Do you remember what happened when Skippy from Family Ties came

into the show that day? And I got most of it right, including

the name of the hooker who came in off the street during the morning show.

Yeah. But it's just an honor to call that guy my friend.

Wow. I still adore him to this day, and he's he's still a

mentor. That's really cool. Tom Blanchard is in The Shatterman says his last

book was If These Walls could talk about the Red Arrow Restaurant. Yeah,

that's right, that's right, correct. I haven't I haven't read that one

either. Yeah, I've only I've only read The Fifty Shades of Radio.

But you know, as a radio nerd, of course, I did.

You know. I think I think Peter read that too, Peter White from

the Morning Show. I think I remember him saying he read that. Um.

Hue, the Gecko in the chat Room says, we say Steve,

could you do a comic tryout live on a podcast in front of a live

crowd with a judge panel. Um, you do something like a minute example,

the Kill Tony comic show. You ever see that show Kill Tony on

YouTube? No, it's Tony Tony Hinchcliff he does. Um, I've I've

seen it. I find it. It sounds like Hue the Gecko is a

fan of the show. I I've seen it and I didn't like it.

But basically it's like a you know, comics go up and they saw of

audition, like they do some of their best stuff, and you know,

Tony and the other judges they judge whether the comic is any good or not.

And yeah, I don't know, it didn't grab me. Not the

most original concept. Obviously others have done that. Yeah, yeah, that's

not something I would do at this stage because I'm just it's you know,

comedy is so subjective and that's just not where I'm at. Yeah, anymore,

I didn't even like doing comedy competitions back in the day. I was

in a couple of contests. Yeah, and it it just wasn't my thing.

I Mean, I'm a very laid back and I always joke I must

have smoked a ton of weed in a previous life, because I've never touched

it in this one. But I'm just so laid back, Yeah, in

this life with everything that the pressure cooker of stuff like that. It's like

even speaking competitions in Toastmasters. I loved them there, yeah, but when

it got beyond to the very high pressure levels, and I did win a

major one up here in the Northeast one time, I didn't enjoy it as

much as I did on my own little stage with my regular crowd. Yeah,

the pressure was just a little too much. And in comedy now is

so different from when I did it. Yeah, yeah, um, And

like how do you mean, like in what in what regard much more intense.

It's a lot more violent and very over the top with a lot of

stuff, and just just the style of it doesn't really resonate for me anymore.

Okay, Okay, um, Now can you talk more about the podcast?

Um? I don't. I don't think we've really talked much about that,

Like what that entails about my show? Yeah? Yeah, Yeah,

it's called Motivational Firewood Radio Show, Okay, And it's basically a lot of

the stuff that I share in social media every week. Yeah, feeds the

show that I do over in the UK, okay, and then I chop

off their beginnings and endings and their branding and I pop it into mind and

it becomes my podcast, gotcha. So it's really reflections on where I'm going

through learning, observing in regular everyday life. Yeah, how long have you

done that? Been doing my podcast for probably about sixteen years? Oh wow?

Really? Yeah? Oh okay. In the early episodes that I used

to just hate to listen to, you know, it's it's like my kindergarten

version of a radio show, not with this voice or this confidence. Yeah.

I listened back now and I go, oh my gosh, that's adorable.

If you printed that out and put mccaroni and glitter around the edge,

my mom would hang it on her fridge. Really horrible. Really, I

had to do that. Yeah, to do this, just like you had

your earliest stuff that you would cringe now probably if you listen to it.

Yeah, you have to be willing to do that and then listen to get

better. Yeah. I mean the average podcast ends between three and eight episodes,

and people bail on themselves. Yeah, and you're in the thousands of

shows. Yeah, I started, Yeah, this this show I started.

Well, so I've been here at who was six years in April. But

I actually started it in the summer of twenty eleven as a podcast before I

had the opportunity to come here. And in my beginnings with UH, I

used to do UM. I started podcasting out of there. Used to be

a salon on Elm Street called Styling Souls, and I was working there as

UM. I would rent space there to do hypnotherapy, so I was like

I was the on site hypnotherapist. But I was only there when I had

an appointment scheduled, so I wasn't an employee EI there. But but they

let me UM. But because I was, you know, the manager,

the owner trusted me and everything, so UM, so I could come and

go as I pleased and they let me do. They let me do the

podcasts there. So I would use the computer there, you know, after

hours obviously when there was nobody around. UM, I would use the computer

there and I had UM for a microphone because I didn't have any money.

Really, I had this UM you know those old the Logitech microphones that you

plug into your computer. But but they actually, but they're not even USB

like this was because this was like mid middle two, I don't know,

like two thousand and six. They would plug into the headphone jack on the

computer and they sound terrible. But I worked with what I had, and

that's like, if you go back and listen and it is online, I

don't I don't hide any of my earlier work certainly, but yeah, if

you go back and listen to the very first episodes of this show in its

original form, that's what it was, honestly for for what I was,

for the way I was doing it, and as low tech as it was,

it doesn't sound that bad. Like it's not like it's staticky or hard

to listen to. It's just not you know, the quality isn't that great.

And my voice was higher because although interestingly, okay, your has your

voice changed in terms of if you go back and listen to earlier stuff,

because I've always been fascinated by this, Some people, um, they as

they go through the adult life, their voices continue to get deeper long after

puberty, just you know, incrementally, and some people don't. Some people

sound some radio personalities, it's like they sound the same at seventy as they

did at thirty and you know what I mean. Yeah, And I've always

been fascinated by that. I'm sure there's a lot of factors that go into

that. But is your voice changed a lot? Yeah? Mine used to

be higher. I used to speak a lot faster. Yeah, I used

to not pause and breathe, you know, those little things like breathing and

pausing. Yeah. Yeah, if you go back and listen, it was

very the energy was too high. Really, And now I'm just so matter

of fact with everything on stage, off stage, even regular conversations. Yeah,

this is just how I come out now. Yeah, and I like

this a lot better because I can have impact and also with the pauses,

let energy come back, yeah, and let people think, you know.

And I was talking about comedy competitions the first one ever did down in Boston.

Somebody said, how did it go? It's five minutes long? How

did it go? How did it go? I said, Well, I

got through five minutes of material in three and a half because I didn't pause

for all that laughter and applause that usually gets in the way, you know,

higher voice, and just raced through everything, yeah, and got no

impact with it. Yeah. So I learned slow it down and this this

is just how my voice sounds now, yeah, it's just I used I

was very, very monotone when I was a kid. My mom used to

laugh. She used to sound like this. My name is Steve Gamblin.

I live on Catapa Street in Wakefield, Masses. That's how I used to

talk like a robot. Because now I'll listen to your radio man still calls

me. That still calls me radio man. Yeah, but yeah, much

different. And I really like how I sound now, Yeah, I mean

I appreciate it. I'm not saying that in a in an ego way.

I really appreciate where it's gotten because I took the time in the effort to

get here. We're all just a work in progress. We can't snap our

fingers and get it, because then how much would we really appreciate it?

Did you, um, did you spend a lot of time when when you

when you were starting the podcast, did you spend a lot of time going

back and listening to yourself? Because because some people can't, Like I've talked

to people who will say I cannot listen to myself. But how else do

you improve and get better if you don't, you know, if you don't.

I forced myself to listen to myself. And sometimes I don't do it

every day I don't have time. But sometimes I'll play back the show and

if I if I felt good about the show, then it's fun to go

back and listen to it. Yeah, if I felt like it wasn't a

good show, because I have you know, it doesn't happen a lot.

Some days are better than others. But once in a while, I'll have

a show where I just go, I don't think I had it today.

Something wasn't right. I just didn't have it, And I'll force myself to

go back and listen to that, and that can be really painful, but

I have to try to figure out, you know, just forensically, you

know, what was it? Why why did I not have it today?

What was going on? You know? And sometimes I still don't find the

answer. I'll force myself to go back and listen to it. It's like,

you know, because sometimes maybe the answer is just something about my energy

was off, and you know, it's it's not it's not something specifically that

went wrong necessarily, I just wasn't all there for whatever reason. Yeah,

and those days happen. Yeah, we don't just snap our finger and we're

just on. Yeah. At any given time, you know, you get

a bird kred of crapped on the windshield of your car when he got out

to come and and do the show. You're not thinking about it, but

you got that right in your head for when you go back out and see

how many of his friends tagged you as well. Right right, But I

was, I was, actually I was coaching somebody Friday who was interested in

starting a podcast. Yeah, and I said, okay, keep it short,

keep it direct, know what you're going to say in advance, do

it, and then listen back to it after your promoter. And they go,

oh no, no, no, no. I said, if you

want to get better is it, here's how I want you to listen to

it. Get a pen and a piece of paper and write down. Okay,

that was good. Okay, I might need to pause a little more

there, Okay, a little too fast. Okay, this, I said.

It won't be perfect, but if you identify the things that did work,

and then you can do that and then just get a little better,

more confident. For the next one, there's a speaker who is a former

comedian named Darren Lacroix. And Darren was the two thousand and one Toastmasters International

World Speaking Champion of that year. And he was a horrible stand up comic

prior to that. And he will tell you that I'm not talking out of

school. Yeah. He has recorded every speech, every presentation, every comedy

show he's ever done. He has the tapes of everything and he watches them

religiously. He said, I will put my collection up against anybody as far

as how much. And people would say, Darren, I hate to listen

to myself. He had an amazing line. He goes, hey, we

had to listen, right, so you go listen and get better. He

went from lousy stand up comic to world champion of public speaking. Wow.

Because he did that, he became a student of his own game. Yeah,

and he became a champion. Yeah. Yeah, Now that's what it

takes. Yeah. It is funny when someone will say, oh, I

can't stand the sound of my own voice, and it's like, but you're

going to do a podcast. Yeah. Tina has caught me on Sunday mornings,

we're making breakfast and the show Them On in the UK is on every

six days a week at nine am is a replay and she goes, oh,

that's a good song. What are you listening to? And then my

voice comes on. I go me right right, yeah? Really, I

said, yeah, but this is a really cool, fun show. I

really had fun because I put the episodes together here, yeah, and I

send them the voice files and they interspersed music around them. Okay, so

that's how it works. I just do the bare bone speaking parts. Yeah,

two five minutes, a three minute, and one minute which I blow

like, I add three to four minutes to each one, yeah, and

send them over. Yeah. And I said, this was whe show I

really enjoyed making. I just wanted to see how it sounded in its full

form. And she goes, yeah, you kind of got a cool voice.

She goes, you don't talk to me in that voice. Hey,

babe, would you like for breakfast? Would you like some fringe? She's

like, oh my god, stop right right? And weird seeing your face

and having the radio voice come out of it, right, because I'm not

you know, it's not how I talk every day, right, and that

doesn't happen. Um Hue the Gecko said in the chat room, Marlon Brando

hated Broadway said he would never want to do any any other form than film.

You get takes some close ups. He hated Broadway and said he'd never

do uh do a live broadcast. It's tough. Um. Alex Whiteley said,

I had that with my most recent episode. Upon listening back through the

edit, it was actually good. It's mad how we doubt our abilities despite

knowing quote unquote how good we actually are. Yeah. My biggest thing is

um. When I listen, I have verbal ticks that I am not at

all conscious of while I'm speaking that I will hear. Actually, I'll tell

you just a just a very quick story. The very first time I was

ever on terrestrial radio. It was I was a guest on a show on

a station and Conquered called it. I don't know if it's the show still

around. It's called Your Health Matters. A friend of mine, Matt Marcill,

was hosting the show. He invited me to be on to talk about

hypnotherapy. I was I was very young in my hip hypnotherapy career, so

I was excited to go on, and plus it was radio, and I've

always loved radio. But it was my first time ever being a guest on

somebody's terrestrial radio show. I went on. He interviewed me. I thought

it went really well. He was very encouraging and seemed to think it went

well. The next day it was finally up on their website. They were

like a day behind it. It had to air. It was prerecorded.

It was not live, but it had to air prerecorded, and I was

at work or something, so I didn't get to hear it when it aired,

but it was on the website. I went to listen to it on

the website. To this day, I've never heard the entire thing. I

think I got maybe five minutes into listening to it. I was so mortified

at the number of oz and ums coming out of my mouth that I had

no idea while I was sitting there, I had no idea I was doing

that, and I'm listening to it on my computer, and I swear it's

like I'm sitting there going, well, hypnotherapy is about. I mean,

that's an exaggeration, but that's how it sounded in my mind. I think

I got maybe five or six minutes into it. I had to shut it

off. To this day, I've never heard the rest of it. But

even now, to this day, when I listened back to this show.

See, I just did it, and we all do it a little bit.

We all do it a little bit, and maybe maybe I'm tough on

myself, but sometimes it's like I do it too much. Yeah, you

know, that's a big part of Toastmasters for me was getting through things like

that. Yeah, you know. The first manual and Toastmasters has ten speeches.

This is a bonus one at the end. So it's all the most

basic tools of how to be more comfortable and confident speaking. And the ums

and the ozs are a big part of it. And I used to coach

some of the other people on it. They said, well, how come

you don't um and ah like we do. I said, well, I've

been at this a long time, right, But all the ums and ohs

are is your brain and your mouth buffering, like if you think the wheel

is going. I said, we opened up our mouth and we're pausing on

a word, looking for the next thing, right. And I said,

what helped me is because I'm a very visual person. Put them in parentheses

in your head, think the ah. I like that, but don't verbalize

it. I like, because we try to go too fast and then it

buffers. Put it in parentheses. It sounds simple, but it helped me.

I'm gonna use that a lot. I'm gonna use that then. And

some people said, Steve, when you pause and you looked right at us,

that was so powerful. I go, you want to hear what my

brain was thinking. Some of my most memorable moments, even on stage speaking

that people will come back after and say that was the most powerful pause ever.

And if I've got a relationship with the person, I'll say, I'll

give you the root of that. Cause loca, what is it? I

go. I had no idea what I was supposed to say next, so

I just went eyeball, the eyeball, all the way across the room,

right to left and all the way back. And it's true. Yeah,

yeah, it's true. We just need to be aware, that's all.

And if we're saying it a lot, maybe we just need to slow down

a bit right and reduce the amount of buffering. But put it in parentheses

was just It was a little tactic that just fell out of my head one

day when I was coaching somebody else and they liked it, and I thought,

well, I'd never rubalized it like that before. So even now as

a speaker, right, I remember if I catched myself doing an UM or

an Uh, it just snaps right back, put it in parentheses, right,

And they don't know exactly what I was supposed to say next, whether

I do or not, they have no idea, So just keep it quiet

and let it roll. Uh, that's that's fantastic advice. I'm gonna use

that. I'm definitely gonna use that for it. Steve. Wow, we're

almost it goes so fast, it goes so fast, we're almost out of

time. Um, what do our listeners need to know about finding you?

Finding the podcast? And uh, maybe maybe they are in need of your

services? What should obviously the website that's easy Steve Gamblin dot com. But

anything else they should know about to reach you. They can find me all

over social media at Steve Gambler. And no I'm not the violin player from

the UK. That's a different Steve Gamblin. Don't ask him about visualization advice,

right, but you know, big things for me are helping people with

their goals. They're visualizing their goals. And now that it's coming back live

events, yes, we're looking for speakers to share some time on their stages.

That's that's a big push for this year, is getting me back out

there. And there's information about that on a page on my website as well

at Steve Gamblin dot com. Very cool, very cool. Um. I've

enjoyed this so much, and and I appreciate you being flexible about sticking around.

Um. I, like I said, I had a feeling that might

happen, we'd get to talk and and uh, you know, I do

a lot of political stuff on the show and whatnot. It's nice to have

a break from that sometimes and just do something really positive. And this has

been this has been wonderful. Um. And uh and and you know you've

shared some things too that like I said, I'm going to use the advice

about the parentheses and see I almost said, um, but I put it

in parentheses. Then I said it anyway to just demonstrate that I was about

to be But regardless of we have to paint the picture. That's right,

that's right to bust out the mental shark and drawn on the big sticky notepad.

There you go, there you go. But no, I've I've enjoyed

this tremendously and I got a lot out of it. I really feel that

I personally got a lot out of it, and I think the listeners probably

did as well, So I appreciate it. Thank you. This was a

blast, and it was I'm gonna give you my favorite word to use for

situations like this, It was effort less. And that includes the people who

chimed in, whether it was in a chat or on the phone. M

this was. This was great. This was absolutely the highlight of my day.

I mean that one hundred percent. This was wonderful and all because wishing

Jenny a happy birthday. And here we are. So folks take those actions

ye say yes to opportunities, even if you don't know where it could go.

Here we are very good. Great advice, great advice. Thank you

so much, Steve Gamblin. And of course, if you miss any part

of today's show, it we'll be up in just a little bit at WMNH

radio dot org and in my website Matt Connerton dot com. And uh,

we're going to get out of here. And I have a closing song that

might be a little bit of an inside joke between us regarding an off air

conversation I think we had. But and that's gonna do it for us for

now, Steve, thank you again, and I'll talk you yall a little

bit later. By everybody,

Game Plan