Matt Connarton Unleashed 3-16-24 hour 3

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dot com. Command don't get sorely down south coming. Welcome back everybody,

as we enter our third hour newmerow trace of Matt Connerton unleashed. It is

Saturday, March sixteen, twenty twenty four, and Jenny is here, of

course in the in the studio at the news table. Presentent accounted for yes,

yes, and we have joining us all the way from Texas via Skype.

And we just heard one of her beautiful songs right before the break.

We have Nancy Manet am I, oh, let me get that mic up

there? Am I saying that correctly? Nancy? Yeah, Nancy Manet,

Okay, excellent. I suspected it might be as much, but I wanted

to make make sure we were trying to figure out is it Manet. Is

it Manette, But welcome to the show. Thank you. I am very

excited, in fact, so much so I was here an hour early.

I notice. Yeah, well, you know time zones, time zones and

daylight savings, time and everything is sometimes it throws to people, so no,

hey, better to be early than late. So I suppose no,

no, no worries there, No worries there. I'm Jenny and I are

both very interested in talking to you because not only you know, a beautiful

voice, really like your music, but I was reading up about your story

and something that is a theme on the show, a subject that we talk

about quite a bit is well we talk about mental health, and we also

talk about how it's the best thing you can do ultimately with things that have

happened to you that are traumatic, things that have affected you in a negative

way, bad experiences and so forth. If you can take those things and

do something creative with them, something productive with them, like creating music,

that's really kind of the best therapy, I think. And you're and you're

taking something bad and turning it into something positive that you can then put out

into the world and other people can relate to or or just enjoy and so

that's part of, uh, part of the reason why we've been looking forward

to this. And I was reading your story and it sounds like you've you

know, you've really been through it, to put it mildly, and that

has of course inspired your music obviously, Yes, yes, thank you.

Yeah, I also too. I thought it was interesting that so you've been

according to your bio, you've been a performing musician for over thirty five years.

But but you're just now you've just now gotten around to recording your own,

your own album at Abbey Road Studios. By the way, we should

mention. So that's a hell of a way to that's a hell of a

way to start for your debut. Nothing nothing special about that Abby Road.

I've never heard of it. It's been it's been quite the ride. It's

been quite the journey. From the moment I found my incredible producer, David

Percifal, it was just let's let's the sky's limit on this thing. Yeah,

and it's been. It's actually I'm humbled and I'm honored. To be

honest, I'm you know, standing around the best in the business and to

work with these incredible people and artists and studios I'm grateful, just unbelievably grateful.

Well, so here's kind of an obvious question, but I will I'll

ask you, so, what did take you so long? Thirty five years

more than thirty five years before you did this? What took me so long?

So, Matt Jenny, if I had a buck for every time somebody

said, why don't you recorded your own album? Why haven't you recorded your

own album? Why just recorded your own album? That is not an easy

answer. I could say and point and target one situation, but it's it's

more complicated than that, right, you know. We can start as a

teenager, I was told music was a hobby, not a profession, and

I was forbidden to play, and I sought refuge in a church from the

abuse of my teenage years. And they, of course had a very specific

style and type of music they wanted to have played and were only interested in

what it is that they wanted to play. Any given sunday, I got

married, raised a family, ran a couple businesses, and always thought about

it, thought about what I'd want to share. But I had a lot

of healing to do and a lot of confidence I would say to build.

I just did as me If that makes sense, Like you know, just

in my house, I played played on stages for years and years and years,

but still lacked the confidence or the belief that maybe people would want to

hear what I wanted to say and play, not what I was being told

to say and play. And I think that that is probably one of the

biggest you want to talk about mental health overcoming being told you can't, being

told you couldn't, being told you can't say that, being told you can't

think that you shouldn't question that. And that was a long road for me

to move through. And really in twenty twenty, when we were all homebound,

was the first time that I had not stood on a worship stage.

And again, you know, I not again because I haven't said it yet,

but it's not a war that I have against the established Christian Church.

But it was very oppressive for me as a musician and as a woman,

and it was the first time that I was really not part of that community.

And I called my worship pastor and said, I don't ever want to

play on the stage again. Wow, I'm done, and I'm going to

go write my own stuff. And there's a lot more to that as well

to abusive marriages, one that ended in you know, just tragic ending and

scary and never thought I would really come out into the public again. Wow,

And I decided that what I have to share and what I want to

say and is more important than me staying comfortable behind my doors in the middle

of nowhere, right right. That is so powerful. That is so powerful

especially, I mean, I think that's something that I admire you for and

I'm so happy that you're out there sharing that because that's a really hard thing

for women especially, And I can kind of relate a little bit to what

you're talking about in that you're you're told what your place is and how you're

supposed to behave to have the ability to break away from that and go in

your own direction is very It's it's amazing to see, and I'm so happy

that you're out there sharing that, because that's that's what it takes sometimes for

somebody else to get that moment, is maybe they hear your song and they

hear your voice and they go, all right, I'm going to walk out

the door this time, yes, yes, and and find one I'll you

know, find our own path. What is that for you as a unique

human walking this planet individually and yet collectively, right because we're not We're not

you know, I actually I didn't know you were going to spin to love

you and me, And we're not you know, here alone. We're not

doing this alone. And that I think if we can see that there's other

people on this journey with us, and we can encourage one another wherever we

are in whatever phase that is. And a lot of it's recovery. You

know, we've gone through some massive changes since I was a child, and

we are morphine as a people, as a human race, and there's a

lot of resistance. And yet there's a good number of us that are saying,

yeah, we want to create something that's beautiful and lovely and heal,

and let's do that, and let's do that together. So if I can

be part of that, and I can help encourage people that they can lose

it all. They can you know, live on you know, food stamps

and dig themselves out of the whole. They can be beaten and abused and

held back and told no, and they can still find a way to get

out that there will be people there cheering them along. One of them.

Yeah, Yeah, I'm curious going back to your childhood for a moment.

So you mentioned being forbidden to did your family initially did they forbid you to

learn a musical instrument or sing? No? So I was a ward of

the state at birth and was in two foster homes to start, and then

relatively, you know, three or six months into the foster system, I

was placed in a home that became my permanent home. So that family adopted

me. I refer to them as my adoptive family. I had an amazing

father. And when you when you say amazing, or I say, or

anybody says they have a great dad. I had the world's best dad.

And his story is a is a you know, come from nothing and build

himself into not just an extraordinary financial success, but was an incredible human.

And everywhere he went, everybody that he interacted with just he treated them with

such kindness and respect. And it didn't matter who you were, you his

greatest client, or the girl you know at the diner serving him coffee.

He showed everyone the same amount of respect. And I shadowed him. He

was my shadow. I mean I was his shadow, and he read me

stories by you know, some of the old greats like Augmandino, were my

bedtime stories, and he encouraged the gift of music. Okay, So around

seven, we moved into a home that had a piano. I had taken

some violin lessons, I believe right before that. We moved into a home

with a piano, and from a practical standpoint, there was a piano.

My adoptive mom said, play piano. I said, okay. Probably four

or five years after that, the piano instructor told my parents she needs to

be in a conservatory. Send her to a conservatory. Wow. Shortly thereafter,

on Christmas even eighty one, my dad died of a massive heart attack.

Oh god, what I was unaware of at the time, you know,

because you're just a child. I was twelve. My mom has borderline

personality disorder, so my adoptive family, and at that point she shattered,

and so the rage, the abuse, the beatings just became commonplace, and

I became I became household help, and which you know, I look back

and go, okay, you know, great, I learned a really good

cleaning skill because as an adult, I owned a carpet cleaning business. So

yes, right, right, So when she came home from work, she

didn't want to hear me play. When my adoptive brother was home. He

was terrorizing and would threaten to beat if I touched the piano, So I

stopped, didn't ever go to concert seravatory. She had started the enrollment into

a Ramonte well into a convent, an all girls boarding school that's no longer

in existence. So if my dad had been alive, I was likely heading

off to the convent, not a conservatory. Wow, and knowing what we

do you know know now about even more so about mental health. Borderline personality

disorders seek to isolate or to remove who they perceive as the threat. And

so it was. Oh maybe I was sixteen and I brought home a friend's

of guitar electric thinking, you know, all just play quietly in my bedroom

and we're going to form a garage band, of which I did not play

the guitar. And there was the threat if I didn't return it she would

throw it into the swimming pool. Oh, so music was just forbidden.

And that summer of my graduating the year I graduated from high school, I

was seventeen, I went and worked at a camp all summer and picked up

a five dollars guitar and I think it was a kids a kid's guitar now

that I look back, and a pitch pipe and a chord book and sat

in the local mountains during my off time reading this chord book, pitching you

know, with the pipe, the tuning, and discovered that I was also

told I couldn't sing, that I was tone deaf, and I discovered I

would discovered that I could sing. I was singing in the wrong keys,

and I didn't know how to sing high notes yet because I was truly an

alto. So I got home that summer I turned eighteen. She beat me

the last time, and I said I'm out, and I said goodbye to

the family money. I said goodbye to the brand new car, the condo,

the full ride to college paid by my adoptive mother, and I lived

in my car. Wow, and I bought a full like adult guitar at

that time. You really you really committed, you were all in. I

mean, that's a lot to walk away from. Good for you, I

mean that's a that's a big roll of the dice. Where you were you

scared or did or did you have the conviction that you were doing the right

thing? Or how did you how did you do that? As a teenager.

Sure I was scared out of my mind, but that was my touch

point. So a few things, if you know, we really want to

look back at that era of my life. And from a mental health standpoint,

you never know who you are going to interact with and where they're coming

from in life, and in a child, we see a child and and

and they may they may be acting out, or they may be shy,

or they may be boisterous. I was more boisterous. I never acted out

in a negative way, but you never know what's going on at home.

And an encouraging word and kindness and you know, lifting them up, even

in a moment, you do not know how that could change that child's life.

And I will say there were key adults that intersected. And when somebody's

abused, they're used to crumbs and they find their encouragement on crumbs. I

mean, it's terrible, but it is what happens. And those crumbs,

those trail of crumbs at people throughout my teenage life left me was enough for

me to say I can do this. There is hope, There is hope.

That clock is eighteen. I was twelve, thirteen years old, and

I said that eighteen years old, I'm out. I'm out at eighteen and

so yeah, scared. What was I going to do? But I was

in my car and I wasn't going to get hit again. And then I

can figure it out and how to pull a little bit of the silver spoon

out of my mouth. I didn't know what. I didn't know. My

parents were, you know, I shared earlier. My dad did very well.

So there are a lot of things. I had zero street smarts,

zero, very naive, and I thought, well, okay, I'll go

figure this out. And I did. Found a place to live with an

elderly lady and took care of her and had room and board. So that's

how I entered adult life. And I will say this the other saving grace

for me and why I chose to do it is one of the things in

the mental health community that they do say you're kind of an anomaly, Nancy.

I chose to volunteer and give back during my teenage years. I volunteered

for students against drunk driving, you know, getting my friends home safely on

the weekend. I volunteered at soup kitchens. I volunteered at the hospital as

a candy striper, I just poured myself into service. I realized, then

there are people that are way way worse off than I was. And I

think I look back now and I thought, wow, that was cultivated in

that season in my life. So no matter what season I've walked through in

my own mental health journey, which included making some really unhealthy choices when you

don't even know why you're making them, right, Like, why do we

attract unhealthy people into our lives? Well, there's more work to do,

you know, right, But I believe that framework set me up. And

then at eighteen or nineteen, I moved in with a roommate. Found the

piano. I don't know if you could see me, but I have a

piano behind me. I bought it when I was eighteen or nineteen years old

for five hundred bucks, and I had it restored when I was forty three.

Yeah. Wow, that's what I write on and I've played ever since

in the closet. I've played the piano in the closet. Wow. Now

I'm curious, and I kind of think I might know the answer. But

did you if you had any contact with your the family that you left My

adoptive family? Absolutely? Oh, you have. Well, it took six

months before I, you know, spoke with my adoptive mom again. And

it was actually one of my best friend's mothers who pretty much stood in the

gap. You know. She was very strong, very very strong, Laura

Fishman. She deserves to be honored. She stood in the gap for me

many, many, many times, and her home became the place of my

refuge. And the Fishmens would leave their home open for me if it got

too difficult at my house and I would know whether they were home or not.

I had a safe place to go, and no, I stayed in

contact, and you know, read what I thought was rebuilding a relationship.

And somewhere in my I believe I was in my mid forties, I discovered

I was being used. It was a scam, I or just it was

fake. It was what a borderline personality disorder does, pitying the children against

each other. One's the good child, one's the bad child. And for

most of my life I was just the bad child. But there was a

season where I suppose I became the good child in this dynamic with my siblings,

and my siblings became very jealous and very angry and retaliated emotionally, and

eventually I learned things about the family that I had not known, and I

said, okay, this is unhealthy. I need to draw stronger boundaries.

And then let's just fast forward my second marriage. I thought, you know,

we lost my kid's dad, not to death, but to the streets

to addiction. So my kids after eighteen years of marriage, my kid's dad

was a fallout of the cotton and hydrocodones and the you know, the narcotics

in pain management. And he was a pastor and a businessman, and we

lost him and he was just he was gone. And four years after that,

I remarried who I thought was just the love of my life. And

about five years into that I detected things were really wrong and I questioned him,

are you having an affair? And of course he said no, And

long story short, that relationship ended with a pillow over my head, Oh

my god, and he demanded that I sleep with him or the pillow stayed

over my head. And in a split second, you ask yourself in that

situation. Now we were at our cabin. He had destroyed our personal home

and so it was being remodeled or rebuilt. It destroyed it. How what

do you mean. He We were taking down some dry wall, and I

asked him, hey, before you start that project, please make sure you

protect everything and cover and seal off zones, because we don't know what's behind

that wall. We knew there was a chimney, but we don't know what's

in it. But he really believed nothing. You know, the laws of

the universe did not apply, and go nowhere and there would be no troubles

ever one of those and the chimney fell with like from the nineteen hundreds,

and it had cold dust in it. Oh my god, and the central

units were on, and it sucked it through the house. It was like

a fire without the flame. But it destroyed everything in its path. It

was uninhabitable. Every electronic had to be replaced. It ate through surfaces.

It was awful. It looked like there was a fire, but there was

actually no heat. So I moved up to our cabin. He traveled for

a living. He would come up occasionally and visit. And it was in

one of those evenings that we had a fight. And I went to the

loft to sleep, and I woke up with a pillow over my head.

Oh my god. And he said, no, woman of mine will ever

sleep, you know, somewhere else but our own bed. And in that

split second, you have to ask yourself, do I have enough air to

navigate this situation? And it's nano seconds, do I nenee him in the

groin and go run in for the car because cell phones did not work,

only landlines worked up in that area of the Pacific Northwest, and I could

breathe. I had enough air, and so I went down and slept with

him when I shared this, And then after that the marriage started to crumble

and we found out that, you know, he essentially had another family.

He had been vacationing, buying, you know, household goods. And when

I confronted it all, confronted him on it, he was very adamant they

were his family. I was like, well, but we're your family.

Wow, So he actually had Yeah. You hear about men doing that,

and it's always like how does how does anybody pull that off? But how

do you pull it off? It's exhausting. I just think it's so much

easier to be honest, yeah, because it's just exhausting. And he hadn't

married her. They weren't his biological kids, but he was adamant they were

his family, and they had they'd been vacationing together. They actually had a

cruise planned, and so the marriage was ending. And as I shared this

with my adoptive mother, she said, well, Nancy, he's a good

provider and sometimes you just have to put up with the other woman. Oh

my god, And I thought, heck no. And then she continued to

have a relationship with him. And I said, here's the thing, mom,

the man tried to kill me. Do you dispute that. No?

Okay, he forced me to sleep with him. That's called rape. Mom.

Yeah, I'm like, okay, where's the disconnect? And she said,

well, I talked to him and it wasn't his intention to kill you.

He just wanted to get your attention. Wow. I drew a boundary,

and I said, okay, adoptive mother, I didn't call her that

and call her mom, I said, And I differentiate because I've had contact

with my birth mom, and so I want to make sure I'm never referencing

this horror story to my birth mom who forced to give me up. But

my adoptive mother, I said, okay, here's your boundary. You have

a relationship with him, or you have one with me. You choose because

he's not allowed in our life, and he's scary and he stalks, and

he stalked me when I still lived in the Pacific Northwest. He stalked my

daughter and I said, you got to choose. It's one or the other.

And she said, I resent you telling me who you could be friends

with. And I said, okay, I can respect that. That's a

valid feeling. My boundary still sits and stands, so okay, we travel

four or five years down the road. This last December, I was with

a videography of film crew and we were going through the different areas locations of

where I lived, and we're preparing to do a documentary. And I had

written a Christmas song that reminded me of my mom, and I thought,

you know, she's in her mid eighties, she's getting older. You know.

It's okay, you know I love is love, you know, extend

love to all. And I'll come by and say hello. And I had

the film crew with me, but nope, they can sit in the car.

That's fine, But I want to share this this Christmas song I wrote

because I realized, oh my gosh, it's about you, and it's about

every person. Who's had loss and is suffering, and it's not just once

a year. Generosity is all year long. And receive a hug from me,

and having the loss that I did during Christmas time. Christmas has become

my favorite season and just the theme behind Christmas is generosity. So let's just

live that in our hearts all and long. So I went to share that

song with her, and I was greeted by again my very terrorizing, hostile,

angry adoptive brother and threatening me, threatening to sue me, threatening to

I'm like, wait what It was the craziest thing I'd ever seen. I

walked in and she said the same thing. Because I'm sharing the story of

abuse to hope. He was like, Mom, you never denied it.

We've talked about it, we've talked about mental and oh it was. It

was verbally violent, so much so my film crew had witnessed the beginning.

They were actually scared. This was December, you guys, last December.

And I get in the car and I burst into tears and I said,

Okay, you will never have access to me again, never again. And

it's sad because I believe there's true hope, there's really hope, And I

thought, Wow, I am so far down this road. I joke that

I have a PhD In being therapied because I've been through so much therapy and

so much healing. And then yet wow, okay, now I do choose

to see it with a heart of compassion and heartompathy and even a heart of

gratitude, because the heart of bitterness and the heart of anger just destroys us,

and it destroys our bodies, and it keeps us from doing the things

that we're really here to go do, right, and and so but that

was that was as recent, you guys, as as a December. Wow.

Oh sorry, you don't deserve that pain. Yeah, that is horrible

in my experience. I mean, I assume, uh, I assume she's

she doesn't she hasn't sought help for her BPD. I assume no, no,

and most don't, right, and the and the and I think the

reality is and and you know, those of us who have dealt with people

with that who don't get help, it's that there's never any winning. In

other words, if you had gone to her, and uh, you know,

it could have been under any circumstances, she would have found some sort

of reason to be angry with you. Yes, And it wouldn't have it

could have been anything, you know, it wouldn't have. It wouldn't have

mattered what the circumstances were, because someone who has that, who has that

condition and does not get help, there's there's no winning with them. And

and you know, and I want to approach it with compassion and empathy as

well, because obviously it's you know, they're sick, but but if they're

not going to get help, then there really is no I I heard a

joke once, but I'm not going to tell it, but because I don't

want to want to. I don't want no, I don't want to hurt

anybody, but I'll I'll email it to you. But it's but it's a

it's about dealing with someone with bipolar disorders. So but yeah, so that

was that was pretty recent then? Wow, yep. Yes, And what

was shocking was my adoptive brother. I had pretty much written him out of

like my life and never even really thought about him. And he really wasn't.

In fact, this first project, he really wasn't. He's not weaved

throughout it the way you know. There there are some there are some songs

or just some experiences that I really reference back to my my adoptive mom.

I really kind of left him out of the story and I realized, I

realize, then, oh my gosh, you were the terror. You were

really the monster you and and he was so angry about a promotional video saying

that that I opened it with. He had me pinned up against the piano,

saying, hit me, Nancy, hit me, Nancy, hit me,

Nancy. I'm referring to my second husband that night preceding the pillow where

he had me pinned up against the piano at the cabin that we owned as

adults, right wow. And I couldn't get I couldn't figure out in the

moment, why was my adoptive brother so angry? Why was he so upset,

you know, your spew and lies about the piano. And I was

like, wait, I don't what are you talking about? And then it

dawned on me. As a kid, we had a cabin in the local

mountains of southern California, so in Big Bear, and Gosh, we had

that cabin since I was five years old till I was probably forty five,

and there was a piano there, and all of a sudden, I'm catapulted

back to my childhood when he would threaten and I'm like, oh my gosh,

he thinks it's about him. Wow, he thinks the stories about him

and it's not. It was about pillow Man, but you're so guilty.

And I realized, and I kid you, not you guys. I went

home and I wrote a song called it Monster. It's not on this album,

but it will be on the next we record. In this coming June,

We're going back to Abby Road to record two more and I'm so excited

about it because I was like an insert the adoptive brother into the story.

Does he also have BPD? You know? I? Is he a borderline?

I? You know, I don't know. I don't I really haven't

had a lot of contact with him as an adult. I would say I

would say very aggressive narcissistic tendencies for sure, hands down, because because when

you look back at my childhood and then all of a sudden, these memories

are flooding, and then you know, we met with some girls. I've

known some of them since I was five years old, and we all got

together for a dinner, and I had my film crew with me and my

film producer actually just started to share, Yeah, we saw her brother and

her mom and the girls, some of them I haven't seen since high school.

Said oh my gosh, her brother is a monster, and started to

recount times where he would be dragging me by my hair across the floor at

the church gym. And again I was like, wow, I really kind

of wrote him out of my memory. Yeah, and I thought, oh

my gosh. And of course, you know, I call my therapist.

I'm like, well, we may need to process the monster. And you

know, I've come so much further down this road, and I thought,

wow, okay, okay, Wow, this all right, this is part

of the story and part of the healing, and part of you know,

we circle it back. Why didn't you have the confidence or believe that you

could really do it sooner? Nancy? For all those reasons, he was

the one that was marched me back to the store. And I was not

allowed to listen to Ozzy Osbourne. Oh good, girls do not listen to

heavy metal. Wow. So I was not allowed. I was restricted to

what music I was allowed to listen to when he was home or And at

that point, I was just like, Okay, you know, he's the

obedient, He's not only a monster, but a very cliche one at that,

with the you know, can't listen to Ozzy. So here, I

am forty nine years old. We're all shut down, and I have been

advised by my advisors. You are sitting duck. It's dangerous now because the

reason that you know, he continued. The second husband continued to stalk the

woman he was with. Supposedly his family had killed her husband and had done

seven and a half years in prison. Oh my god, I know,

just is the story real? Wow? And my advisors were actually worried for

my safety. They said, Nanty, it's one thing to have the freedom

of movement, it's another that they know where you are at all times.

And do you have anywhere to go? And I said, you know what,

I spent eighteen years in Wisconsin. I have family there. I will

My kid's uncle actually lives there and we've stayed very, very close. And

I said, I'll head towards Wisconsin. At the time, I had re

enrolled back in college, the local community college, and was taking music courses

with the intention of getting a music degree because I couldn't read music well,

if at all, and I didn't really speak the language. When I spoke

with other musicians. I just didn't understand something. So I was in my

third quarter of theory and my piano instructor, and it wasn't the department at

chair, it was someone else, but with in that rank. They they

said to me, you're in the wrong school. This is a teaching track.

We think you should be in a conservatory. And at that point I

said, oh wait, this sounds familiar. And you recommended if I stayed

local, go to Seattle or they said, we really think if you could,

if you could make it work, like it means a move Nancy,

go to Berkeley College of Music. So on that road trip, I said,

well, let's head to Boston. And it was the shutdown. So

it was me in my car, of which I am familiar. I had

my guitar, I had my keyboard, I had my bicycle, and I

had my baseball glove. And I'm like, what more does a girl need

other than those four essential items, Like I may find somebody who want to

play catch, and I could certainly ride my bike freely, and I did,

and I eventually made it all the way out to Boston, stayed near

Fenway, of course, and went for long walks and walked around the Berkeley

College of Music. You know, it was shut down, but I was

thinking and like, you know, you kind of get a feel of what

you should be doing. Yeah. Well, somebody not at Berkeley but a

Her name is Sue Lancer. She's a professor on the East Coast in women's

studies and literature. And she told her son, who was a good friend

of mine, why is Nancy thinking of going to Berkeley? She just needs

you know, here's a PhD who promotes, you know, university. And

she said she just needs to go out and do it. Just tell her

to go do it. And when her son called me, he's like,

Nancy my mom. I'm like, okay, okay, so you know,

come full circle, Sue Lancer, Nancy, just go do it. I'm

like, okay, I guess I will. And I wrote four songs on

that trip and I was out for three months. I got home and then

really started to consider where should I move because I didn't feel safe. Yeah,

and and here I am present day. Wow, So how did it?

How did it come about? Again? What you do? Have a

You have a hell of a story, Jaz, You've really been through it,

Like I said, but now, how did this come about recording this

album the way that you did working with Dave pal is that how you say

is yes, working with Dave for okay, so that stories. I love

this story. I love the story so much. Okay, So okay,

So for all intents and purposes, let's just say I am a city girl.

The answer to that is yes, absolutely. Now, I've always loved

nature, and so the time in the mountains. I actually thought at one

point I'd be a forest ranger. Oh I, oh my goodness, Yes,

because I love the mountains, I love the you know, horses I

loved. I love trees. I save trees. I have saved trees since

I was a child. You know, trees that are being grown under power

lines that they're going to, you know, cut down. I'll keep a

you know something in my car to get them out and I'll replant them somewhere.

Oh yes, yes, save trees, and save animals, be kind

to all of nature, and and and so all of that to say here,

I am a city girl, and I'm looking for you know, at

the time, you know, I had sold my carpet cleaning business before I

married Pillowman and moved to the Pacific Northwest. But when I was in the

Pacific Northwest, I started investing in real estate and found my lane and and

did a lot of work in five years that I really focused on. I

guess that job, I suppose is what would say. But I built up,

you know, a rental portfolio. I also did some flipping, but

and I tied it to a mission of every working class human deserves to buy

a home. And because everybody wanted all the fancy houses, you know,

on the rich side of town, I'm like, what about these two bedrooms

that are dilapidated in neighborhoods that people forgot right? And that's that's my heartbeat,

you know, whether it's old homes and you know, old neighborhoods that

people don't want to care about, Like, no, why don't we rebuild

these neighborhoods the way they want them. We don't need, you know,

a fancy coffee shop on every corner. What about the foods in the community

they want to build? And these homes are beautiful. We don't all need

a McMansion or even want at this point, who want? Who wants?

So all that to say, I was looking for, well, where can

I go and continue to invest and feel safe. Well, I started traveling

to Texas, of which my daughter was very angry when I moved here,

very upset. Oh really why? Oh yeah? My daughter is queer and

from a women's right standpoint and from a LGBTQIA standpoint, she was really She's

like, Mom, what the heck are you doing? And I said,

they need good people in Texas too, babe. And so I landed north

of the Houston market in the country, in the middle of nowhere. And

so again, here you have this city girl in the middle of the country.

So what do we do when we live in the country. We learned

a two step, so I was like, I'm a dancer. I can

dance like a ballroom dance. I can, but I didn't know how to

two step. And I'd never listened to country music, so I was like,

wow, what is this stuff called? You know? Country music?

And I mean I listened to some of course, Texans have their whole different

style and it was just so much fun. So I ended up at a

bar with a girlfriend and we were two step in and there was this fantastic

band plane and one of the band members came down and sat at our table,

older gentleman, and you know, it was flirting a little bit and

telling us about what they were doing. And they were heading to Austin the

next day to record an album at Yellow Dog Studios, and I asked some

questions. Didn't tell them that I was a musician, because it's not about

me, right, I'm there to two step and encourage them and send them

on their way. But I filed it away in my head. I'm like,

huh, because I had, prior to that, been searching for a

recording studio that I could just get in and start recording the music I was

writing. But I couldn't really find traction, and not because they weren't interested.

It was timing. It was all timing, sure, And so it

was a month later. I got a call from my girlfriend and she said,

if you don't, someone else will have you sent your music. I'm

just like she was, Nancy, do you hunno? How many stories are

out there that other people have written, what other people have written and they

never even knew each other. Because inspiration will go where it's going to go

and whoever's going to be responsible for it? So are you going to pick

up the mantle? Are you going to pick it up and do something with

it because somebody else will. I was like, oh, my gosh,

what's the name of that studio? He likes dogs. I like dogs,

And I literally googled dog record Studio Austin and then it popped up Yellow Dogs

and I'm like, that's it. They liked labs and I'm like, if

he likes dogs and I like dogs, well he's probably pretty cool, so

why don't I send him an email? And that is literally how it happened.

I met a band they like the you know, I remembered the name

because he liked dogs. So if we didn't like dogs, we would not

be having this conversation today. And then I sent him a message and I

said, hello, David, you know this is who I am. I

have a body of work. I need composition. I would like strings added

to it, and somebody that can help with the composing and the conducting.

That's not my wheelhouse. And he said, sim what you've got. I

said, are you okay with just iPhone recordings? Because I am not an

engineer and wouldn't even know the first thing, And he goes, that's better.

I want to hear you know, the raws footage you've got. So

I sent him all of the music and my sixty five page backstory that I

had written. I had written why, I had written every song, and

he said, I will dig into it and get back to you. And

I said okay. And a week later he said, I don't know if

that is more chilling or more inspirational. When can we meet? Wow?

And he said, you know, he goes, are you local? I'm

like, yes, four and a half hours local, absolutely, what time

and where? And you know, a few days later we met and we

have been running ever since and it's just been it's it's really a beautiful story

to watch and even just to see the way we interact. And he,

you know, what I will say is that he saw it, he saw

me, he believed in it. I was still a little bit gun shy.

I'm like, well what about this? And you know, well,

oh, and I'm going to add another song. I added two songs.

In fact, to Love You and Me is the last song I wrote.

Oh. I realized I couldn't because the Nancy Mine album that is coming out

on May twenty ninth is a companion piece to a larger work, and that

larger work tells the entire story, and I realized I can't open the story

with trauma. I need to have some hope, you know, I need

to be like and so then of course I start to love you and me,

which you know starts off. I just wanted to hie. I just

want to go to sleep and not wake up. And then it was like,

no, I don't. I believe in this world and that we have

hope and that we can all band together and we can create something beautiful.

And you know, not very long after I was feeling forlorn, I wrote

that song. You know, an hour later it was done. Wow.

Yeah, we're gonna be uh wow. The time goes so quick, Nancy.

But we're gonna be in a couple of moments. We're gonna we're gonna

end with uh don't let her ruin You, which I assume is this the

single? It is the single. Now there is a there is a an

E word at the end of it, so I want to make sure that

everybody's aware of that. For radio play, there's an E word. There's

the F word. Oh oh oh yeah, no, that's uh yeah,

okay, no, no, I'm not gonna actually I'm not gonna play that

one I the FCC would No, I guess. I guess I didn't listen

to that one all the way through. I thought I did. Oh,

you never miss I know, I know, I want you. I was

just one time at the very end of the build in the choru. Yeah.

No, that's one time too many, you know what, you know

what I will do though, because I did listen to the song, I

guess I didn't hear the end of it. I will, Uh, I

can always make a radio edit of it. Just do that, you know,

and play it at a future date. But I'll let you pick what

should I play. Why don't you spin Insecurities? Okay, yeah, I

like that one too. Yeah, i'll play I'll play that. But yeah,

all the time goes so quick. But but I'm glad. I'm glad

we got to hear your story or I mean, you know, there's always

more, of course, but and we'll definitely have you back. I mean,

you've got to you've got something, You've got something new coming out in

May, you said, I do, okay, very good. Yeah,

So I'll also be in your neck of the woods at that time, too,

you will, I will, oh, well, very good, Yes,

I have that on my calendar. You're going to be around. Yeah,

the possibility that you could stop in and see us maybehind. I believe

it's the date. Oh, very very good, very good. All right,

well that is excellent, Nancy. What should people know about how to

find you online? How to keep up with everything that you're doing? Follow

you? Uh, I don't know if you're playing any shows, but any

shows you might have coming up or yeah, well, we are going to

be updating the website, so Nancy maney so n A n as in Nancy

see why m A is an Apple n e T dot com. We will

be updating the events where people can find me or listen or the different shows

that will be coming come the goodness summer. Okay, I'm actually healing from

a surgery that I had, so you know, I get back on the

road in May actually, and so we'll update all of that on at my

website as well as find me on Facebook. Yeah, you know my Instagram.

We're you know, everybody asked why why aren't you on Instagram? Like,

because I'm fifty four years old and we built Facebook. We all found

each other on Facebook. But we'll get Instagram, I laughed, so hard

about it. But yeah, there's there's uh you know, find me Nancy

Minee on Facebook and I will tell you. If you reach out to me,

I will respond. I love connecting with people. I will write you

back. I will send you a voice note, sometimes even send a little

video. I love connecting with other people, and so please please reach out

and you will hear from me. Outstanding, outstanding. All Right, Nancy,

we'll let you go for now, but it sounds like we're going to

be talking again soon and hopefully meeting you, so that'll be uh, that'll

be wonderful. But thank you so much for joining us today. We're gonna

thank you, Jenny. We're gonna wrap up and then and then we'll spin

that track in Securities. But Nancy Manet, thank you so much. This

has been great. Thank you. All right, we'll talk to you soon.

Bye bye byebye. All right, wonderful. Yeah that was Wow.

She's got quite a story, huh very much. So, yes, and

I love all the history in her songs. Yes, yes, it's definitely

worth reading her background. Yeah, yeah, absolutely yeah. Miriam in the

chatroom was commenting she was riveted by her story. Oh and our friend Rocky

Huber. We haven't seen him in there in a while, but hey,

he's also in the chat room. Hello. Hello. So before we go,

and by the way, we should mention you have a video that's been

getting a lot of attention. I'm a little viral on Twitter. Yes,

on the tweet. Yes, we should mention that. For people who haven't

seen it so they curious. Nowhere to check it out? You can.

It's actually quite a different few places that have it. But if you look

up be a Hero on Twitter, it's actually the pinned post. And we're

looking like we might cross a line here. We're at one hundred and ninety

six thousand views on Twitter alone, outstanding. Yeah, it's well over four

hundred shares, and yeah, it's been an incredible thing we've gotten. There's

a petition attached to it. We're asking people to sign and the petitions at

twenty three thousand and ninety nine signatures right now. I have a hope to

get it to twenty five thousand. Help me meet bike. Oh, feel

free to reach out to me. Go to Gencoffee dot com, j E

N N C O F f Ey dot com. You can find more information

in my blog or you know, feel free to just drop me a line

and be happy to talk with you. Absolutely, absolutely, all right.

We're gonna wrap up in a moment with one more track from Nancy Mane.

And by the way, thank you to everybody who joined us today. We

had Pop Farmers in the Pop Farmers, I should say, in the first

hour, and of course I then we had Eric Pilter's classic film review,

and then mister Jesse Coffee was here with us. Who's that sounding great?

I think I think you might be related, just possibly the O F.

F Ey and of course Nance Nancy Mane in the third hour. We're gonna

close with this track from Nancy and if you missed any part of today's show

and we'll be up in just a little bit at Wmnhradio dot org and at

my website Matt Connorton dot com. But here it is. This track is

called Insecurities. Oh your insecurities, they are not mind bear, and I

will not appall the jizz. I will not be compared. And I belong

in this world exactly as I am. It's not my fault. Be you

yourself, accuse and blame your man. I have spent years working on myself

to be who I am today. There are days that I just could not

see. So I fell to my knees and pray. If you don't like

who you have become, decide and change your ways, take some time and

again side you might have some to blame. Are insecurities. They are not

my bear and I will not call the jide. I will not be compared,

and I belong in this world exactly as I am. It's not my

fall that yourself accused, and blame your mar to down your wall and build

again, create something madnessness, love yourself and who you are. Make no

excuse in your go far. Don't play games. Who has the time?

Take your authority? If you're not happy, just walk away. Not your

target. I'm not your cross How are you Tuesday the wood? You chosen

to speak to me Tuesday? No, it's not Oh are you Tuesday the

wood? You chosen to speak to me Tuesday? Oh? Your insecure tees

aren't my cross bear? Why not? What not call the giant? Not

be her? Why not boing this world exactly as I am. It's not

my mom that you yourself bart willing to expand. It's not my fault that

you yourself are willing to expand. No, it's not love. How are

you tues? Say no word? You know John's up to speak to me

today. No, it's not all a lot, Come loud. I am

the one who does say all thank the grim and don't think the fall.

Don't mew from you when doll day. Most of time, listen to me.

I'm always sorry. I'll pay your face from you. I was you

way I feel

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