Matt Connarton Unleashed 7-18-26 hour 3

0:00 Speaker 1: You are listening to W.

0:01 Speaker 2: M and H ninety four point command. Don't get supreme

0:09 Speaker 2: leader Max coming. Found Mary.

1:07 Speaker 3: She been gone all after in the cemeteryly lacing flowers

1:16 Speaker 3: and full blown lead in the grass and the her mind.

1:21 Speaker 3: She went back to another triumph.

1:25 Speaker 4: Found Mary. We found Mallie. It was a.

1:33 Speaker 1: Mundane man.

1:36 Speaker 2: Died in around you cause my life. Don't take my

1:42 Speaker 2: love home.

1:52 Speaker 3: Found Mary, gone her drive outside of town, liver place

1:58 Speaker 3: where she sat down, shipped her head up to the sun,

2:04 Speaker 3: close to her eyes to be with the one. A

2:08 Speaker 3: drop of rain up from her eyes. Believe the heaven

2:13 Speaker 3: of a clear blue sky. We found Marie's.

2:23 Speaker 1: It was a Monday. Name got in the rock. She

2:28 Speaker 1: was thing kick all lights. Don't take my love of.

2:37 Speaker 3: So many to the gap, live.

2:41 Speaker 1: Our hospital lover.

2:44 Speaker 4: Sometimes Mary still wakes down.

3:06 Speaker 3: Found Mary.

3:09 Speaker 1: She'd been gone all after.

3:12 Speaker 4: Lift the cemetery.

3:17 Speaker 2: She's in flowers.

3:20 Speaker 1: It was a Monday, got in a rockery.

3:28 Speaker 2: Cat that don't take color, Oh.

3:35 Speaker 5: Swtystegether.

3:38 Speaker 2: With the heart or whatever. Sometimes Mary, Sometimes Mary. Sometimes

3:46 Speaker 2: Mary still wakes down. Sometimes Mary still breaks down.

4:04 Speaker 5: That has found Mary, And the artist is Sean McCarthy,

4:08 Speaker 5: and we've got Sean McCarthy joining us right now via

4:12 Speaker 5: Microsoft Team.

4:13 Speaker 1: Hello Sean, hey man, how are you good?

4:15 Speaker 4: Good?

4:16 Speaker 5: It has been a long time, my friend. When did

4:18 Speaker 5: I When did I interview you last? Do we even

4:21 Speaker 5: want to think about how long ago that was?

4:24 Speaker 4: We don't because then it starts to you know, you're

4:26 Speaker 4: right break to tell everybody we're not twenty five. But

4:30 Speaker 4: it was a bit. I think I had just finished

4:32 Speaker 4: a recording a record in La and yeah, yeah, that

4:37 Speaker 4: was a while ago.

4:37 Speaker 1: That was a while ago.

4:39 Speaker 5: Yeah, there's a little, uh, there's a little speck of

4:40 Speaker 5: audio that shows up from that, uh in the in

4:43 Speaker 5: the documentary which I'm dying to talk to you about

4:46 Speaker 5: resilience and sacrifice?

4:48 Speaker 1: And when when did this come out? Or is this

4:51 Speaker 1: out yet? Officially?

4:53 Speaker 4: So it's officially out. It came out last year, tex So.

4:57 Speaker 4: It was the the film festival release was early twenty

5:05 Speaker 4: twenty five, okay, and then the screenings in the theaters

5:09 Speaker 4: was spring summer, and then I guess spring and summer,

5:14 Speaker 4: and then it kind of officially came out around November.

5:17 Speaker 5: Of last year, okay, okay? And can can you describe

5:21 Speaker 5: it for us? I mean, what how do you for

5:23 Speaker 5: someone who hasn't seen it. Obviously I watched it, But

5:25 Speaker 5: for someone who hasn't seen it, how do you describe

5:27 Speaker 5: what this is about resilience and sacrifice.

5:29 Speaker 4: Well, there's a you know, there's an official you know

5:33 Speaker 4: right up about it. But the short version is it's

5:36 Speaker 4: about an artist who, well myself, who toured relentlessly for years,

5:47 Speaker 4: and you know, after missing the first three years of

5:51 Speaker 4: my daughter growing up because I was on the road,

5:54 Speaker 4: I just you know, it's kind of an awakening to

5:56 Speaker 4: realize what are the priorities in life right now? So

6:00 Speaker 4: so through that, you know, I made this decision to

6:05 Speaker 4: not quit music altogether, but but seriously put it on hold,

6:09 Speaker 4: and you know, no zero regrets with that. But then

6:13 Speaker 4: when when I decided I was gonna get back into it,

6:17 Speaker 4: kids had grown up, I had jump back in done

6:24 Speaker 4: some shows, and then it alludes to my getting what's

6:29 Speaker 4: called muscle tension dysphonia, which if you're a singer, that's

6:34 Speaker 4: that's one of the worst things that can happen to you,

6:36 Speaker 4: and it comes on with with no warning, and and

6:40 Speaker 4: what it does is you you can't sing anymore. You

6:43 Speaker 4: can speak, I can sing anymore. So it goes through

6:46 Speaker 4: that process a little. It's certainly not the entire focus

6:49 Speaker 4: of the film, but it's a big part of it.

6:52 Speaker 4: You know, a good good note you know, came through that.

6:56 Speaker 4: But it goes through it goes through my music career

7:01 Speaker 4: pretty in depth. Doesn't touch everything, you know, there are

7:03 Speaker 4: a lot of bands and projects I worked on that

7:05 Speaker 4: didn't make it, but it hits the highlights. You got

7:08 Speaker 4: to kind of cram it all into a you know,

7:10 Speaker 4: a ninety minute film. Yeah, it's easy to it's easy

7:13 Speaker 4: for us to tell our story in you know, three hours,

7:16 Speaker 4: but who's going to watch that?

7:18 Speaker 5: The muscle tension dysphonia is do I have that right? Dysphonia?

7:23 Speaker 4: Yes?

7:25 Speaker 5: That was particularly There's a number of elements here that

7:29 Speaker 5: I want to ask you about that were interesting to me.

7:31 Speaker 5: That that part was interesting to me because not only obviously,

7:36 Speaker 5: like you said, if you're a singer, you know, that's

7:39 Speaker 5: that's kind of your worst nightmare or something like that

7:41 Speaker 5: happening to you. But it was also interesting to me

7:43 Speaker 5: because I don't know, if you know a gentleman named

7:45 Speaker 5: Mike Lachlan.

7:46 Speaker 1: Do you know Mike?

7:47 Speaker 4: The name is very familiar.

7:48 Speaker 5: He's a singer, songwriter, from the Lakes region here in

7:52 Speaker 5: New Hampshire, and he's a very close friend of mine

7:55 Speaker 5: and he's been on the show a million times and

7:57 Speaker 5: we've done some work together. But Mike also suffers from

8:02 Speaker 5: that now in his and he's talked about it on

8:05 Speaker 5: the show his last couple of appearances on the show,

8:07 Speaker 5: he's talked about it and managing it.

8:09 Speaker 1: So when it gets to that point in the documentary.

8:14 Speaker 5: I already I was like, Oh, I know somebody else

8:16 Speaker 5: who has this, and so it was it was interesting

8:19 Speaker 5: to me, you know, because I've heard how how he's

8:22 Speaker 5: dealt with it and how you've dealt with it. Unfortunately

8:25 Speaker 5: the way Mike has dealt with it. And I don't

8:28 Speaker 5: think he'll mind me saying this because he you know,

8:30 Speaker 5: he talked about it openly on the show obviously, but

8:33 Speaker 5: he has not you know, maybe he needs to get

8:36 Speaker 5: connected with Liz Bills, who you talk to in the

8:38 Speaker 5: documentary about, you know, her struggles with it, because he

8:42 Speaker 5: he has chosen to just kind of deal with it,

8:44 Speaker 5: you know, he manages it the best that he can.

8:46 Speaker 5: He doesn't he doesn't book too many shows consecutively, you know,

8:51 Speaker 5: to try to give himself a break. But he also

8:53 Speaker 5: said that whomever he spoke to about it professionally told

8:57 Speaker 5: him that, you know, it tends to be and I

9:00 Speaker 5: want to get your perspective on this, that it tends

9:03 Speaker 5: to be more psychological than anything else. There might be

9:06 Speaker 5: something in his self conscious, subconscious rather that is causing

9:13 Speaker 5: him to experience this dysphonia where he has difficulty with

9:17 Speaker 5: his vocal cords. He's still able to perform, and he

9:20 Speaker 5: can go out and do a three hour show. He

9:22 Speaker 5: just can't do too many. But he's been struggling with

9:25 Speaker 5: it for probably five years now.

9:28 Speaker 1: Maybe that's yeah.

9:30 Speaker 4: God, I will say that in my experience it is.

9:34 Speaker 4: It is one hundred percent psychological or neurological, Okay, because

9:39 Speaker 4: when when it when when it happened to me? It

9:43 Speaker 4: happened in a single rehearsal really with my band. I

9:48 Speaker 4: was warmed up, just like a normally do plant, hydrated,

9:51 Speaker 4: and then all of a sudden, we're doing a song

9:53 Speaker 4: and I'm just singing, well, I'm even sharing leads in

9:56 Speaker 4: that a particular song, and kind of opened my mouth

10:00 Speaker 4: and everything was dry and and and you can't like

10:04 Speaker 4: form vowels consonants. Weird. It's just in an instant. It

10:07 Speaker 4: just took over. So it is it is something that's

10:12 Speaker 4: in your your psyche that you can't pinpoint what it is.

10:18 Speaker 4: You may never know what it is. But I was

10:22 Speaker 4: I've been a singer my entire life, and and thousands

10:26 Speaker 4: of shows and night after night after night, and one

10:30 Speaker 4: of those things where you never even need to warm

10:33 Speaker 4: up because you're just always singing. Uh, never ever had

10:36 Speaker 4: a problem. And then when this came on, it was,

10:39 Speaker 4: that's that's the that's the cause, right, But you don't

10:43 Speaker 4: know what the specific cause is because it can go

10:46 Speaker 4: back a long time. It's it's kind of your your

10:48 Speaker 4: brain is just going, it's great that you have all

10:51 Speaker 4: these plans, but you haven't dealt with some things. And

10:53 Speaker 4: we're not gonna tell you. I'm not gonna tell you

10:54 Speaker 4: what you have to deal with, but instead I'm just

10:57 Speaker 4: gonna stop you in your tracks. It's you know, I

11:00 Speaker 4: want to equate it to you know, people having heart

11:02 Speaker 4: attacks or something the same kind of thing. Usually you

11:05 Speaker 4: get some warning with that, or you know you're eating

11:07 Speaker 4: terrible or whatever. But with with mt D, you don't

11:12 Speaker 4: know exactly what the cause is. But but it is

11:16 Speaker 4: important to deal with somebody and and bring somebody in

11:20 Speaker 4: that has experienced it. Liz, Liz Bill's was a singer

11:25 Speaker 4: is a singer, but she was in the band New

11:28 Speaker 4: England band I think they were I'm pretty sure at

11:32 Speaker 4: Massachusetts band they were called Analog Heart and they were

11:36 Speaker 4: I actually discovered them after working with Liz. This band

11:40 Speaker 4: was was phenomenal, very you know she's listening, I don't know,

11:46 Speaker 4: but very paramour ish, but with more of an edge.

11:48 Speaker 4: Just this this girl could sing her butt off. And

11:52 Speaker 4: they they had released some records, they had opened for

11:55 Speaker 4: bon Jovi. I think at Mohegan they had done some

11:59 Speaker 4: great things. And and the way she told it to

12:02 Speaker 4: me it was a little different. She just she had

12:05 Speaker 4: pain and she was struggling, and she she just kept

12:09 Speaker 4: pushing through and pushing through, and she had had worked

12:12 Speaker 4: through it all herself. And I found her online and

12:16 Speaker 4: she she had these this hour long daily routine and

12:20 Speaker 4: I was just like, oh my god, you've got to

12:22 Speaker 4: be kidding me. I just don't have that kind of patience.

12:24 Speaker 4: But it takes that kind of patience. I so so

12:28 Speaker 4: Liz and I I currently don't work with Liz now,

12:31 Speaker 4: but I did for two solid years we met every

12:34 Speaker 4: week and prior to that, Mark Baxter, and Mark Mark

12:38 Speaker 4: is a phenomenal coach. He Steven Tyler's coach, Johnny Resnek.

12:45 Speaker 4: Just the list goes on with who Mark works with

12:47 Speaker 4: and has worked with. Yeah, but I needed somebody that

12:50 Speaker 4: had experienced this, and Liz is the person that experienced it.

12:53 Speaker 4: So yes, I would highly recommend that he reached out

12:55 Speaker 4: to her. She is, she's fantastic, she's wonderful. She if

13:00 Speaker 4: you hear her sing now, you you would just never

13:02 Speaker 4: know she experienced any of that. But you it requires

13:08 Speaker 4: I think a lot of us from a certain era work,

13:11 Speaker 4: you know, power singers, sure, meaning we may not have

13:14 Speaker 4: done the right techniques. And and I think Liz had

13:18 Speaker 4: said to me, once she goes, it's like, you know,

13:20 Speaker 4: you're you lift things a certain way, you always you

13:23 Speaker 4: lift things, you lift things, and one day your back goes.

13:26 Speaker 4: You can't do that anymore. You have to do it differently,

13:29 Speaker 4: and and and that happens. I mean, you know, li

13:32 Speaker 4: Listen is not old. That she was was not old

13:34 Speaker 4: when she got mt D had nothing to do with that,

13:36 Speaker 4: but it was you have to retrain your voice completely

13:42 Speaker 4: to use complete proper technique. You have to you have

13:46 Speaker 4: to really take care of it and accept baby steps,

13:48 Speaker 4: because you know, when you break an arm or something,

13:52 Speaker 4: it happens in a second, takes six weeks to heal

13:54 Speaker 4: right with with something neurological that affects your voice, there's

14:00 Speaker 4: there's a lot of time into you've got to be

14:01 Speaker 4: able to be willing to put the time in right

14:05 Speaker 4: it is. It is humbling, it is frustrating. You know.

14:10 Speaker 4: My I played a couple of shows like that after

14:15 Speaker 4: I knew it was coming on, and I had played

14:16 Speaker 4: a show at a venue and you know, and I'll

14:18 Speaker 4: be frank about this, this is not something you'd normally admit,

14:22 Speaker 4: but I'd played this venue and I remember somebody it was.

14:28 Speaker 4: It was across the street from from a concert venue,

14:32 Speaker 4: and the crew was all over there, like on break

14:34 Speaker 4: And I played a show there and I remember some

14:38 Speaker 4: of the guys coming up and going, what are you

14:39 Speaker 4: even doing here? Like why are you playing this little venue?

14:43 Speaker 4: You should be playing here. So that's always nice to get.

14:46 Speaker 4: But my point is, so then I played that same

14:50 Speaker 4: venue the next summer after this happened, Because this happened

14:54 Speaker 4: in the in the fall of that year, so I

14:56 Speaker 4: come back a year later to the same venue and

15:00 Speaker 4: I was like full blown MTD And what that means

15:03 Speaker 4: is my attention is good. But I opened my mouth

15:06 Speaker 4: and the vowels and consonants don't connect. There's such a

15:10 Speaker 4: disconnect with everything. It doesn't sound good. And my agent

15:16 Speaker 4: called me, texted me the next day and said, so

15:21 Speaker 4: the venue owner wants to cancel your shows and replace you.

15:24 Speaker 1: Oh god.

15:26 Speaker 4: I literally it went from phenomenal, good show, you know,

15:32 Speaker 4: to the venue owner doesn't want you back. And in

15:37 Speaker 4: my entire career that had never happened to me.

15:40 Speaker 5: And then was was that kind of a turning point

15:43 Speaker 5: in terms of how you how you decided to deal with.

15:45 Speaker 4: The problem or well it? At that point I still

15:49 Speaker 4: didn't know. I still didn't understand what was going on.

15:53 Speaker 4: So then I I played another venue and he called me.

15:56 Speaker 4: I remember I was going I was like a band

15:59 Speaker 4: rehearsal something in Rhode Island and I did this show

16:02 Speaker 4: and he goes, hey, I got another call. I mean

16:05 Speaker 4: what and he goes yeah, he goes but this time

16:07 Speaker 4: I asked him, I said, what is it? And so

16:11 Speaker 4: the venue owner said, you know, we love Sean. He's

16:13 Speaker 4: been here he's done great for us. His guitar playing

16:15 Speaker 4: is great. He goes, it's something about his voice. And

16:17 Speaker 4: then and then I kind of came clean to my

16:20 Speaker 4: agent and and he's he's amazing, and he said to me,

16:26 Speaker 4: He goes, Okay, listen. He said, okay, listen, we're gonna

16:33 Speaker 4: you tell me what you want to do with your

16:34 Speaker 4: next shows. He goes, I'm not going to say a

16:36 Speaker 4: word about this. Whatever you do, I'll come up with

16:38 Speaker 4: an excuse. He goes, whatever you got to do. But

16:41 Speaker 4: I didn't know what the problem was at the time.

16:43 Speaker 4: I just kind of came clean to him and said, look,

16:45 Speaker 4: there's something going on. I don't know. So it was

16:52 Speaker 4: it was shortly after that I just started researching and

16:55 Speaker 4: I went to a near nose throat doctor up in

16:58 Speaker 4: northern New Hampshire. And you know it was it was

17:02 Speaker 4: during the time when everybody was afraid of breathing, everybody's anything.

17:07 Speaker 4: And so she comes in the room with like full

17:10 Speaker 4: mask gear on, right scopes my throat and she goes,

17:14 Speaker 4: you you have acid reflux, and that's what she told me.

17:16 Speaker 4: I went, no, that's that's not what this is. Right.

17:22 Speaker 4: So she goes, but you're welcome to get a second opinion,

17:24 Speaker 4: and where do I do that? And she goes Mass General.

17:27 Speaker 4: So I went okay because and it was like and

17:30 Speaker 4: she was kind of I think she was being facetious

17:33 Speaker 4: because they're the best. Master General's Voice Center is the best,

17:37 Speaker 4: hands down. So I went okay. So I get home

17:40 Speaker 4: and I call Mass General and you know, speed that up.

17:44 Speaker 4: I went down. They said, you don't have acid reflex,

17:47 Speaker 4: you have this and we can help you. So I

17:51 Speaker 4: was there every for a few months. I drove from

17:54 Speaker 4: Vermont to Boston for for some therapy at the Mass

18:03 Speaker 4: General and we had some good breakthroughs, kind of broke

18:06 Speaker 4: the ice. And then I started working with Liz. Found

18:10 Speaker 4: out she had been to the same Voice center, we

18:12 Speaker 4: had the same therapists.

18:13 Speaker 1: Okay, so it all really helped.

18:16 Speaker 4: But it was it was it was very it was

18:20 Speaker 4: very humbling. It's still very humbling too. I always knew

18:24 Speaker 4: how fragile the vocal you know, people call them vocal cords.

18:29 Speaker 4: They are chords, but they're called vocal folds. And if

18:31 Speaker 4: you haven't ever seen your vocal folds, everybody should take

18:35 Speaker 4: a trip to an ear nose and throat specialist that

18:38 Speaker 4: can take a picture or a bet, or better yet,

18:41 Speaker 4: take video of you while you sing, right, and people say, well,

18:43 Speaker 4: how do you do that? They scope you through your

18:45 Speaker 4: nose and they have you sing. It's the strangest thing ever.

18:48 Speaker 4: Doesn't hurt, but when you see how fragile those things are,

18:52 Speaker 4: you you just want to put a big, you know,

18:56 Speaker 4: case around your throat and take care of it. And

18:58 Speaker 4: then you don't question why you wrap it up with

19:00 Speaker 4: a scarf. And the winner it's it's it's kind of

19:05 Speaker 4: a scary thing. So so so back to you know,

19:08 Speaker 4: you know the other guy who you're saying has this. Yeah,

19:10 Speaker 4: if Li Liz is phenomenal, I highly recommend her. There

19:15 Speaker 4: are probably some others, but she specializes in it. Yeah,

19:19 Speaker 4: and she could get him on the right track. And

19:20 Speaker 4: if he's willing to do the work, it it's so

19:25 Speaker 4: worth it.

19:25 Speaker 1: Yeah.

19:26 Speaker 4: But because it's it's a mind game itself, you know,

19:29 Speaker 4: taking away what you've done your whole life with ease

19:33 Speaker 4: that you all of a sudden can't do.

19:34 Speaker 5: In his case, he described that he never learned to

19:37 Speaker 5: sing properly, so he doesn't sing from his chest. He

19:40 Speaker 5: just sings from his throat. That's how he's always done it,

19:43 Speaker 5: and I guess the professional who he spoke with told

19:48 Speaker 5: him that because he's a throat singer, that might be

19:52 Speaker 5: why he's gotten away with this problem as long as

19:55 Speaker 5: he has, because I guess this problem has been plaguing

19:57 Speaker 5: him for a while, but he kind of, you know,

19:58 Speaker 5: he's just been working around at I guess because he's

20:00 Speaker 5: a throat singer. That's how he's been able to work

20:02 Speaker 5: around it to I forget exactly how he explained it,

20:05 Speaker 5: but no, very very interesting.

20:07 Speaker 1: Now where are you with all of that?

20:09 Speaker 5: Now? Is this something that you have to continue to

20:12 Speaker 5: manage or do you just take better care of your

20:13 Speaker 5: throat but otherwise you're good.

20:16 Speaker 4: Well, that's the thing. Doesn't matter how much you take

20:19 Speaker 4: care of your throat, that's not really it. It's like

20:22 Speaker 4: going to the gym. Now. I hate working out. I

20:25 Speaker 4: hate working out more than probably anybody you've ever met.

20:29 Speaker 4: But I work out every day, and not to build muscle,

20:34 Speaker 4: just to stay in shape, to stay tuned. And you

20:37 Speaker 4: have to do the same thing with your voice. There

20:39 Speaker 4: are certain exercises, very strange ones that you probably don't

20:44 Speaker 4: want to do in front of strangers or much. I

20:47 Speaker 4: try not to do them in front of my family.

20:49 Speaker 4: But there are things you hold your tongue and you

20:51 Speaker 4: make weird sounds. You know. It's about It's about doing

20:55 Speaker 4: the certain exercises regularly that just keep your voice shape

21:00 Speaker 4: and don't let it fall back there. But the other

21:03 Speaker 4: thing is you have to deal with the psychological aspect

21:07 Speaker 4: of it. That is important because you can you can

21:11 Speaker 4: keep refilling, you know, a bucket that has a hole

21:16 Speaker 4: in it, right because in the sense, that's what you're doing.

21:20 Speaker 4: If you don't deal with the psychological aspect or neurological

21:23 Speaker 4: aspect of it, you're refilling a bucket that has a

21:26 Speaker 4: hole in it. Every day you have to refill that bucket,

21:28 Speaker 4: and it's good for us, say twenty four hours. At

21:30 Speaker 4: the end of the day, it's going to empty. You've

21:32 Speaker 4: got to fill the hole. And I'm not a big

21:36 Speaker 4: fan of talk therapy. I don't like to share things

21:39 Speaker 4: with strangers. I think that is ridiculous. Don't get me wrong.

21:43 Speaker 4: I know it's great for some people. It's just not

21:45 Speaker 4: great for me. I have a trust issue.

21:47 Speaker 1: I think I can I can relate to what you

21:50 Speaker 1: just said.

21:51 Speaker 4: You know, but there there are therapists out there there

21:53 Speaker 4: are wonderful you know, cut props to them for doing it.

21:57 Speaker 4: I feel you know, I'm the type of person that

21:59 Speaker 4: thinks about therapist and go, oh wow, how many hours

22:02 Speaker 4: a week do you have to go to a therapy

22:03 Speaker 4: or deal with it? You dealt with every week? Like

22:06 Speaker 4: therapists are amazing, yes, but it's not my thing. And

22:10 Speaker 4: I also don't have the patience. So I have another

22:14 Speaker 4: friend who had had gone to see an EMDR therapist.

22:19 Speaker 4: It's eye movement, the sensitization and reprocessing. Sorry as long

22:26 Speaker 4: so emdrs for sure, and what that is. So he

22:29 Speaker 4: had told me I knew him. He told me about

22:32 Speaker 4: this and he said I was I was like crazy,

22:35 Speaker 4: suicidal and that was just not me. I don't know

22:37 Speaker 4: what happened. He goes, So I went, somebody told me

22:39 Speaker 4: about this this therapist. I went, she saved my life.

22:43 Speaker 4: I could I don't even know what it was. And

22:46 Speaker 4: I said, well, he explained it to me, and I said, well,

22:48 Speaker 4: how long did it take you? Because I saw her

22:50 Speaker 4: I don't know six or eight times, so six or

22:52 Speaker 4: eight hours and done. And I was like, well, maybe

22:55 Speaker 4: this can help me. I wasn't suicidal, but it was

23:00 Speaker 4: also about you're dealing with something neurological, and he said,

23:03 Speaker 4: you don't have to talk about anything. So so I

23:06 Speaker 4: saw an md R therapist. Uh we hit it off,

23:10 Speaker 4: meaning I was very comfortable with her. And she said

23:14 Speaker 4: to me when I was on the phone talking to her.

23:17 Speaker 4: Initially she said, there is no guarantee that this will work.

23:19 Speaker 4: She said, but I will tell you I have done

23:21 Speaker 4: nothing but this for the last four or five years.

23:23 Speaker 4: She goes, and it has worked for one hundred percent

23:25 Speaker 4: of my patients.

23:26 Speaker 1: Wow.

23:26 Speaker 4: So I was like, oh, I no guarantees, but pretty goods. Yeah.

23:31 Speaker 1: Yeah.

23:32 Speaker 4: So, And and what it does is where talk therapy,

23:38 Speaker 4: you sit down and go tell me about your childhood. Yeah,

23:41 Speaker 4: you know, you got to start way back there and

23:43 Speaker 4: you just see this lasting forever.

23:45 Speaker 1: Let's talk about your mother backwards.

23:47 Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, like, well my mom did this.

23:52 Speaker 4: But with the MDR, you you you you talk, you

23:56 Speaker 4: literally focus on So so when with the MDR your

24:01 Speaker 4: you get up to a microphone, for instance, like it

24:04 Speaker 4: only happens when you sing, that's the strange thing, right,

24:07 Speaker 4: But if in the case, you get up to a

24:08 Speaker 4: microphone and you go all right, I opened my mouth

24:10 Speaker 4: and then right then what are you thinking? What is

24:12 Speaker 4: on your mind in that exact moment, So you focus

24:15 Speaker 4: on that, You focus on being in the moment exactly

24:18 Speaker 4: how it makes you feel. And then it's bilateral stimulation.

24:22 Speaker 4: Usually it's like with a light. Your eyes follow it

24:24 Speaker 4: back and forth, almost hypnotic, but not yeah. Yeah, And

24:28 Speaker 4: if you if you just at that point don't think

24:32 Speaker 4: of anything else, then your brain takes you backwards through

24:38 Speaker 4: all these memories that are that are somehow connected. It

24:42 Speaker 4: doesn't make any sense, but you will have you will

24:47 Speaker 4: remember things that you didn't even know you remembered. So

24:50 Speaker 4: what that really is is your brain connecting. It's reconnecting

24:56 Speaker 4: all of the things that somehow got disconnected. And and

25:00 Speaker 4: the therapist just tries to touch on certain things that

25:03 Speaker 4: pertain to how you feel when your voice doesn't work,

25:08 Speaker 4: and you know, it's trauma response, right, That's really what

25:11 Speaker 4: it is. So something traumatic happened to cause muscle tension dysphonia,

25:18 Speaker 4: So that that was was a huge additional support for me.

25:27 Speaker 4: It also brings to light a lot of other things,

25:29 Speaker 4: you know, so it's you're always a work in progress,

25:32 Speaker 4: but for me, it just required completely retraining my voice,

25:36 Speaker 4: like I don't sing anything like I used to sing. Really,

25:41 Speaker 4: you know you were talking about his voice being like

25:43 Speaker 4: kind of a throat singer. Like, the truth is all

25:46 Speaker 4: of our the air comes up through our vocal folds, right,

25:49 Speaker 4: but then and how close together, you know how they are.

25:54 Speaker 4: But the actual sounds that come out come out of

25:57 Speaker 4: your mouth, right, So what you do with your lips

26:00 Speaker 4: and your your tongue and your teeth and like, that's

26:05 Speaker 4: where the sound comes out. Like it there's a there's

26:09 Speaker 4: a there's a sound that comes up through your vocal folds.

26:12 Speaker 4: But what the end result is is all about what

26:14 Speaker 4: you do with your face and your mouth, right, So

26:19 Speaker 4: without being a trained singer, we all just we just

26:24 Speaker 4: naturally do it. You know, a toddler makes sounds, right,

26:28 Speaker 4: they're very natural. It's all when if we could all

26:32 Speaker 4: go back to being toddlers, you know, this would all

26:34 Speaker 4: be fixed because it was so natural. You know, you

26:36 Speaker 4: dance well nobody's looking, or you don't care if anybody

26:39 Speaker 4: sees you. It's so natural to sing and make all

26:42 Speaker 4: these weird sounds. And if we could get back to

26:45 Speaker 4: that as singers, or at least that portion of it, uh,

26:48 Speaker 4: we'd all be in a better place. We're doing things

26:50 Speaker 4: proper because it's natural, but it becomes very unnatural over

26:53 Speaker 4: the years, and you know, things we'd go through in

26:55 Speaker 4: life compound and then one day your your brain shuts off.

27:00 Speaker 4: So even though you can fix the physical aspect of

27:05 Speaker 4: that through daily you know, routines and things like that,

27:09 Speaker 4: your brain is still holding on and you have to

27:11 Speaker 4: get your brain to let go and be comfortable again

27:13 Speaker 4: and accept that, Okay, this is a safe this is

27:16 Speaker 4: safe to do again. It takes a lot of undoing,

27:19 Speaker 4: and it is again, I'm the least patient person in

27:22 Speaker 4: the world. But so where am I? Where am I

27:27 Speaker 4: with it now? I still put in the work. There

27:29 Speaker 4: are still things I work on. Songs that I even

27:33 Speaker 4: my own songs that I've sung for years, I had

27:36 Speaker 4: to have to sing them differently. Yeah, you have to

27:39 Speaker 4: erase the muscle memory and the neurological memory. Have to

27:43 Speaker 4: trick your brain to go because it wants to go

27:45 Speaker 4: back to the way it was and you can't do

27:48 Speaker 4: that anymore. So anyway, that's a lot on the NTD subject,

27:53 Speaker 4: but but it is. It's an important thing because I

27:56 Speaker 4: think a lot of people don't know that A lot

27:59 Speaker 4: of people are not diagnosed, right, I just don't know

28:02 Speaker 4: what happened. So by all means, if you if you

28:05 Speaker 4: are a singer or even not a singer and you

28:09 Speaker 4: have voice issues like that, like go see in Arno's

28:12 Speaker 4: throat specialist, even the you know, any any one of

28:16 Speaker 4: them are at least gonna look at your throat, make

28:18 Speaker 4: sure your vocal cords are good. And then if you

28:20 Speaker 4: find out that that is kind of a thing, you

28:22 Speaker 4: have look it up, like there's so much online look up.

28:25 Speaker 4: Liz Bill's very simple. I love her name because it's

28:27 Speaker 4: so simple. Yeah, and she has countless videos and she's

28:33 Speaker 4: she I believe she only works with vocalists who have

28:37 Speaker 4: MTD because there there's a lot of coaches out there,

28:40 Speaker 4: but she specializes in that. But you know she can

28:46 Speaker 4: she uh, she helped save my career and I can

28:52 Speaker 4: say that with.

28:52 Speaker 5: Confidence, absolutely absolutely, No, thank you for sharing all that, Sean.

28:56 Speaker 5: It's such a you know, and it kind of expands

28:58 Speaker 5: a bit on what's in the documentary. And No, I

29:02 Speaker 5: appreciate you talking about that because there might be somebody

29:04 Speaker 5: listening to who who does experience that problem or has

29:07 Speaker 5: experienced it, or may experience it.

29:09 Speaker 1: In the future.

29:09 Speaker 5: You know, a lot of musicians listen to the show, especially,

29:11 Speaker 5: so so thank you for talking to us about that.

29:16 Speaker 5: Another thing about the UH and I should say, if

29:18 Speaker 5: you're just joining us, we have Sean McCarthy with us

29:21 Speaker 5: and we're talking about his new documentary Resilience and Sacrifice.

29:25 Speaker 5: And another thing that really jumped out at me about

29:31 Speaker 5: the documentary is, well, let me ask the question this way.

29:36 Speaker 5: Have you always been right from the beginning, right from

29:39 Speaker 5: the beginning of your career, which obviously started when you

29:41 Speaker 5: were still in school, have you always been meticulous about

29:46 Speaker 5: documenting things and making sure that you had audio and

29:50 Speaker 5: video of things from the beginning, Because I something that

29:55 Speaker 5: I just marveled at was I was just thinking, like,

29:57 Speaker 5: if I wanted to make a documentary like this out myself,

30:01 Speaker 5: I wouldn't be not that I would, but I wouldn't

30:03 Speaker 5: be able to do it anyway because I don't have

30:05 Speaker 5: you know, I played in some bands and whatnot, but

30:07 Speaker 5: I don't have video of you know, early performances or

30:11 Speaker 5: anything like that. Blake, have you always been meticulous about

30:15 Speaker 5: documenting everything?

30:19 Speaker 4: No, So this project started, I thought initially, I said,

30:24 Speaker 4: you know, it would be really cool so I spoke

30:27 Speaker 4: to a friend and I said, what would be really

30:31 Speaker 4: I said, I want to do a twenty five or

30:34 Speaker 4: thirty minute video scrapbook of stuff I've done in music.

30:37 Speaker 4: I said, I've come across a couple of videos and

30:40 Speaker 4: I have, you know, some recordings. I just want to

30:45 Speaker 4: put something together. I think it would be cool to

30:47 Speaker 4: have for my kids and you know whatever, just something.

30:49 Speaker 4: And he said to me, and actually it was Matt

30:52 Speaker 4: Dido or our mutual friend. Yeah, yeah, and so so

30:56 Speaker 4: I said that to him on a phone call, kind

30:57 Speaker 4: of started out the phone call that way, and he goes, oh, yeah, yeah,

31:00 Speaker 4: kind of like sounds great, and he goes, hell, listen,

31:02 Speaker 4: I'll call you back a little bit. Click, and he

31:04 Speaker 4: just he just let me go it. It's weird. Five

31:07 Speaker 4: minutes later, I get a call from Matt and Matt's

31:09 Speaker 4: and my mutual friend in LA who's filmmaker, and he goes, hey,

31:14 Speaker 4: what's up. I said, I don't know what's up, and

31:17 Speaker 4: he goes, well, I don't just told me to call you.

31:20 Speaker 4: I was like, oh, so, so Tommy Durant is a

31:27 Speaker 4: is a filmmaker, Emmy Award winning in his work. So

31:30 Speaker 4: if you saw shows like I Short Truckers, Dellie's Catch,

31:35 Speaker 4: Dan Rather Interviews, and so so much more. He is

31:38 Speaker 4: the has been the supervising editor and of those producer

31:43 Speaker 4: worked on a whole bunch of things. So anyway, I

31:48 Speaker 4: I knew I had a lot of stuff I had.

31:51 Speaker 4: It's funny I used what I had creatively and it

31:54 Speaker 4: probably looked like I had a lot more than I had. Okay,

31:58 Speaker 4: but I'm not meticulous. I other than my wife, you know,

32:03 Speaker 4: hating the fact that I hold on to every cassette

32:06 Speaker 4: recording that I've ever made. Yeah, and she's like, you know,

32:09 Speaker 4: I move this box around and she's like, can we

32:12 Speaker 4: get rid of that? And I'm like, no, so it

32:18 Speaker 4: I don't. I don't. I don't usually keep all that

32:21 Speaker 4: Oh I have that stuff. Everybody has a scrap book

32:23 Speaker 4: of things, features and things.

32:25 Speaker 1: You got to keep some sort of an archive.

32:27 Speaker 4: Yeah. So the funny thing was there was one So no,

32:30 Speaker 4: I don't have a lot. I have a good amount

32:32 Speaker 4: I did. I couldn't imagine that this was ever going

32:35 Speaker 4: to turn into a full fledged, you know, documentary film, right,

32:39 Speaker 4: but there was one thing I wanted so right, you

32:42 Speaker 4: had sent me, like the nice thing is you record

32:44 Speaker 4: these interviews, right, so I and you sent that to

32:47 Speaker 4: me and I went, I know I have this somewhere

32:49 Speaker 4: and I listened to them, and I wanted to include

32:52 Speaker 4: so much more, but then I decided to look, let's

32:53 Speaker 4: just put in like some some radio introductions and things

32:59 Speaker 4: here and then and then I had found one that

33:01 Speaker 4: really fit what I wanted to do. But there was

33:04 Speaker 4: one clip that I said, this is so important because

33:08 Speaker 4: in the duo Johnny whatever I was in, which we

33:11 Speaker 4: were at the time on the cusp of some really

33:14 Speaker 4: great things, and we had played so much. It was

33:17 Speaker 4: a unique thing.

33:18 Speaker 2: It was.

33:20 Speaker 4: We had a song on the radio all over the place,

33:23 Speaker 4: and then Kiss went Away in Boston picked it up

33:25 Speaker 4: one night and we were like, what but they I don't.

33:30 Speaker 4: They called me. They called me up and said, hey,

33:33 Speaker 4: is this Sean And I went yeah, and they said, well,

33:35 Speaker 4: we have your the song Goodbye in front of us

33:38 Speaker 4: and we're about to put it on our new music spotlight.

33:41 Speaker 4: I went, what, like, this is a if you're a musician.

33:45 Speaker 4: At that time, Kiss went Away in Boston. Keep in

33:48 Speaker 4: mind there's no streaming services. This is big in New England,

33:52 Speaker 4: so they said, we don't normally call the artist, because

33:56 Speaker 4: for instance, last night was you know some other huge

33:59 Speaker 4: artist tomorrow? Is this a huge artist? He goes, But

34:02 Speaker 4: I just thought i'd let you know. So I was like,

34:04 Speaker 4: all right, So I grabbed some boombox and I record

34:06 Speaker 4: it nice. So I have this cassette, right, Well, I

34:11 Speaker 4: do the documentary and I'm done. I'm basically done with it.

34:15 Speaker 4: And it's been a year, every single day working on it,

34:18 Speaker 4: and I've been looking for this tape everywhere and I

34:20 Speaker 4: cannot find it. And I know I have it. I

34:23 Speaker 4: even know what it looks like. But so I and

34:28 Speaker 4: I said, well, I guess it's not meant to be it.

34:31 Speaker 4: I thought it was important in the film, but I went,

34:34 Speaker 4: I guess not. And then one day my wife comes

34:37 Speaker 4: to me and she goes, I'm going to need like

34:39 Speaker 4: five thousand dollars. I mean, what, what do you need

34:42 Speaker 4: five thousand dollars for her? She goes, because look what

34:44 Speaker 4: I found. And I jumped back into the editing of

34:48 Speaker 4: the film and I was like ecstatic because that was

34:52 Speaker 4: that was a key moment. But I don't know. I

34:55 Speaker 4: think the story is important, right, like everybody goes, I

34:59 Speaker 4: don't don't have I don't have all this, you know,

35:03 Speaker 4: footage or pictures because none of us carried video cameras around.

35:06 Speaker 4: That was for like the big bands forward that stuff.

35:10 Speaker 4: But I will say right now, I'll preface this and say,

35:13 Speaker 4: if you're in a band, if you're a solo artist,

35:15 Speaker 4: I don't care what you do. You're doing it because

35:17 Speaker 4: you love it. So who knows what you're gonna do

35:19 Speaker 4: with it later? Who knows if you're not going to

35:20 Speaker 4: do anything. Who knows if you're going to want to

35:22 Speaker 4: do a twenty five or thirty minute you know, scrap

35:24 Speaker 4: book right right? Like document just document it, get people

35:28 Speaker 4: to do it, and get it people to send it

35:30 Speaker 4: to you, put a date on it, throw it in

35:31 Speaker 4: a folder, and forget about it.

35:33 Speaker 1: And there's no excuse not to No Sarah bring yes, like, just.

35:38 Speaker 4: Just record it, because even if you don't do something

35:41 Speaker 4: with it, it's amazing to look back and see what

35:43 Speaker 4: you've done. So so do it. Take pictures and and

35:47 Speaker 4: even if you don't look at them all now, just

35:49 Speaker 4: just put them somewhere. That that is that is kind

35:53 Speaker 4: of the biggest thing ever. But I kind of forget

35:59 Speaker 4: out my train of thought. But no, I didn't have

36:01 Speaker 4: all that, and I found a lot, but I also

36:06 Speaker 4: had I think, there's sixteen people in this film with

36:11 Speaker 4: me or along with me, so I knew I had

36:14 Speaker 4: to fill space. And I went, why don't you, you know,

36:17 Speaker 4: tell me about working with me, tell me about your

36:20 Speaker 4: memories of me. And they were so wonderful, you know, people,

36:27 Speaker 4: I was I half expected somebody to say, man, Sean mccarnethy,

36:30 Speaker 4: that man, that I was a jerk, and and it's

36:34 Speaker 4: so nice that whether they felt that way or not,

36:37 Speaker 4: they only told the good stuff, right right, So that's true,

36:40 Speaker 4: but it was nice. But the one thing I will

36:43 Speaker 4: say a lot of people, a lot of people will

36:47 Speaker 4: put out things and they say, you know, we all

36:50 Speaker 4: name drop we all have name drop stories where we say, oh,

36:53 Speaker 4: we worked with so and so or did this or

36:55 Speaker 4: did this. But one thing you realize quickly when you

36:58 Speaker 4: know people are gonna walking if you don't have the receipts.

37:02 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, don't even say it, whether it's true, whether

37:05 Speaker 4: it's not true, whatever, If you don't have receipts to

37:07 Speaker 4: back it up, You're people are gonna check out of

37:10 Speaker 4: your film really fast, you know, because I've seen something.

37:14 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I was working with so and so back

37:16 Speaker 4: in you know, ninety whatever, and and and then you

37:19 Speaker 4: expect to see something showing that more than maybe a picture.

37:24 Speaker 4: If you don't have that picture or the video or

37:27 Speaker 4: or that person about to speak, don't put it in

37:30 Speaker 4: because it's it's the music industry is full of people

37:34 Speaker 4: telling stories and and and a lot of people do

37:38 Speaker 4: that to help boost them up a little long, of course,

37:41 Speaker 4: and it's it, you know, is it fine? I guess

37:44 Speaker 4: it's fine.

37:45 Speaker 5: I mean everyone everyone puffs up their resume a little bit.

37:48 Speaker 4: Yeah, well, if you don't, who's going to write? And

37:50 Speaker 4: initially you have to make yourself look better than maybe

37:53 Speaker 4: you are. But here's the difference. The people that succeed

37:58 Speaker 4: are the people that throw some promise up in the

38:02 Speaker 4: air and then go turn around to your band and go, hey, guys,

38:07 Speaker 4: I'm really sorry. This is what I just told them

38:08 Speaker 4: we do and they're like what. So then you get so.

38:11 Speaker 4: So here's the successful people. They rise to the occasion

38:14 Speaker 4: and at the end of the show, the buyer of

38:17 Speaker 4: the show just goes, man, you've delivered way more than

38:20 Speaker 4: you promised. And you and in your back of your mind,

38:22 Speaker 4: you're going I can't even believe I delivered what I promised, right,

38:26 Speaker 4: but because that's it, and I don't. I don't over promise,

38:33 Speaker 4: but I always over deliver. But the key is back

38:38 Speaker 4: to the receipts. Like like, if you're gonna put something together,

38:40 Speaker 4: I don't care if it's a five minute clip of

38:42 Speaker 4: you have receipts, because then that's credibility, you know. And

38:47 Speaker 4: in this film, I made sure you know, Tommy, my

38:50 Speaker 4: co producer on this, was very adamant about that and

38:52 Speaker 4: that and I got it.

38:54 Speaker 1: Yeah.

38:55 Speaker 4: So when I there are things I wished I had,

38:58 Speaker 4: back to your original question about do I have this,

39:01 Speaker 4: you know, I don't know back catalog of stuff and

39:04 Speaker 4: I store everything. No, So I had a lot of

39:07 Speaker 4: I had so many really great stories and actual experiences,

39:11 Speaker 4: but I couldn't back them up with anything. Gotcha, they

39:13 Speaker 4: didn't make it. Yeah, you know, because that's that's just

39:17 Speaker 4: the way it is.

39:18 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, but you know, you handle it the

39:21 Speaker 1: right way, and yeah, you're right.

39:22 Speaker 5: I mean it's in the air that we live and

39:24 Speaker 5: it's very easy to for people to verify things and

39:27 Speaker 5: fact check and all of that.

39:29 Speaker 1: You're you're you're right.

39:32 Speaker 5: So I mean, how long did this take because again

39:36 Speaker 5: I would imagine and I've I've interviewed other people on

39:40 Speaker 5: the show over the years who've made documentaries, and it

39:43 Speaker 5: sounds like it's a pretty involved process that takes. I mean,

39:48 Speaker 5: I'm assuming it was at least a couple of years

39:51 Speaker 5: right to make this.

39:53 Speaker 4: So I am overly ambitious. Yeah, anybody who's ever worked

39:59 Speaker 4: with me knows that, and to a fault. So I thought, well,

40:07 Speaker 4: imovies cool. Right to tell you something, it is cool,

40:12 Speaker 4: but it will not make a a certain level documentary.

40:19 Speaker 4: But I'm also one who says, you work with the

40:22 Speaker 4: tools that you have, and nobody ever knows what tools

40:25 Speaker 4: you had if you're willing to work hard. But I

40:29 Speaker 4: actually so this took.

40:33 Speaker 2: It was.

40:35 Speaker 4: Let me see, it was released last year. It was

40:37 Speaker 4: finished so so that the film was ready for festivals

40:41 Speaker 4: at the beginning of last year, a year and a

40:43 Speaker 4: half ago, ballpark. So if that puts in say January,

40:50 Speaker 4: so then go back, not that not a month ago December,

40:55 Speaker 4: but the previous December is when I had that phone

40:58 Speaker 4: call with Matt about my idea.

41:02 Speaker 1: So about a year.

41:04 Speaker 4: It took me one year, But what I had to

41:05 Speaker 4: do in that year was this. I had to realize

41:08 Speaker 4: that iMovie was not going to be sufficient. I had

41:11 Speaker 4: to learn editing software. I chose Da Vinci Resolve Studio,

41:18 Speaker 4: which is phenomenal, and I'm gonna throw this out there.

41:21 Speaker 4: There's a free version you just downloaded. It is amazing

41:24 Speaker 4: real editing software, and I mean amazing, even the free version.

41:30 Speaker 4: If you want all the full functionality, it's like a

41:33 Speaker 4: one time cost of I don't know, three or four

41:36 Speaker 4: hundred dollars done. And then you and I would dare

41:40 Speaker 4: say almost every studio that's making movies and television shows,

41:45 Speaker 4: they're doing all their color editing in that software most

41:48 Speaker 4: a lot. So there are other There are certainly other

41:52 Speaker 4: other software to make your movies, and there's that two

41:54 Speaker 4: or three other key ones that are used. But so

41:58 Speaker 4: I had to think of what I was doing. I

42:00 Speaker 4: had to completely learn this software. I had to get

42:05 Speaker 4: all the interviews. I had to learn a whole bunch.

42:10 Speaker 4: And then I kind of got it done and I,

42:13 Speaker 4: you know, the first round, and I sent it to

42:15 Speaker 4: Tommy to view, and then he mentioned something called broadcast filters,

42:20 Speaker 4: and I'm like, what are broadcast filters? And and you know,

42:26 Speaker 4: when television was done over the air. If you sent

42:29 Speaker 4: signal that had too bright of a certain color that

42:35 Speaker 4: the tubes in it, that that it came in and

42:40 Speaker 4: broadcast on, you would overload them. They weren't made, they

42:42 Speaker 4: wouldn't display things, or you you could kind of ruin

42:46 Speaker 4: your broadcast. So you put a limitter. Basically what you

42:50 Speaker 4: would do is you would limit the color. So I

42:53 Speaker 4: color corrected a little bit, and then I threw this

42:57 Speaker 4: broadcast filter on and it all had to be redone.

42:59 Speaker 4: So I had to learn. Like I'm a I'm a

43:03 Speaker 4: music producer, so I knew audio, but dialogue in film

43:10 Speaker 4: audio that's a whole other monster. So so I'm making

43:13 Speaker 4: this film and I'm learning all this stuff, and then

43:16 Speaker 4: in about a year start to finish, did all that

43:18 Speaker 4: and had this finished film. Wow, it is a monstrous undertaking.

43:24 Speaker 4: You have to be overly ambitious. And I know there

43:26 Speaker 4: are other people like me out there. I know there are,

43:30 Speaker 4: But I see why it takes a crew. I see

43:33 Speaker 4: why things are outsourced. But I also see that when

43:36 Speaker 4: things are outsourced, they take a long time because you're

43:38 Speaker 4: you're waiting on other people.

43:39 Speaker 1: And they cost and they cost a lot of money.

43:41 Speaker 4: They do cost a lot of money for sure. But

43:45 Speaker 4: more than that, I'm not very patient. I don't want

43:48 Speaker 4: to wait. I'm like, rather than wait for someone else,

43:50 Speaker 4: I'll just figure it out myself.

43:51 Speaker 5: Right right, Which I admire. I respect that a lot

43:54 Speaker 5: about you. Yeah, that's incredible and and it's it's important too,

43:59 Speaker 5: just for people who haven't seen it, haven't watched the trailer,

44:01 Speaker 5: don't know anything about it. I mean, this is a

44:03 Speaker 5: real documentary, This is a real film. This is not

44:06 Speaker 5: this is not a YouTube video that you put together,

44:08 Speaker 5: you know, this is this is the real deal. And

44:11 Speaker 5: it looks fantastic. It's it's very very impressive. If you're

44:16 Speaker 5: just joining us. Sean McCarthy is here with us and

44:18 Speaker 5: we are talking about his documentary Resilience and Sacrifice. Was

44:24 Speaker 5: it was it hard tracking down any of the people

44:27 Speaker 5: who are who are in the film or was it

44:29 Speaker 5: pretty easy to locate?

44:30 Speaker 1: Or were there people that you wanted for the film

44:32 Speaker 1: who were not available?

44:35 Speaker 4: So yes, and yes and no. Some of them I

44:38 Speaker 4: had to track down. Some of them I hadn't worked

44:40 Speaker 4: with in a while, And I'm like, man, I wonder

44:42 Speaker 4: if they even remember me? Yeah, you know, and and

44:46 Speaker 4: I must have made some sort of impact because they

44:50 Speaker 4: all remembered me. But then it's asking them to do

44:52 Speaker 4: like will you do this? And and most said yes.

44:58 Speaker 4: And I am forever grateful because it is not fun

45:03 Speaker 4: when you there's a moment when you do that where

45:05 Speaker 4: you go, oh man, everybody's gonna see this. I'm you know,

45:08 Speaker 4: It's one thing to give yourself a little, you know,

45:10 Speaker 4: social media clip of you doing something, but to put

45:14 Speaker 4: yourself in front of a camera and and talk. All

45:18 Speaker 4: of a sudden, you you almost realize what it is

45:21 Speaker 4: you're doing and what you just agreed to, and it's

45:25 Speaker 4: it's nerve wracking. And I personally despise being on camera,

45:30 Speaker 4: despies it, but they so so so I appreciated that,

45:36 Speaker 4: but but I had to do a little tracking down

45:40 Speaker 4: and some people yes. I I asked an old friend

45:42 Speaker 4: of mine who's the drummer, if he would, and he's

45:44 Speaker 4: a filmmaker himself, and he said, I know, I don't

45:49 Speaker 4: feel comfortable to be on that side of the camera

45:51 Speaker 4: because I'm sorry. He goes and I said, it's okay,

45:54 Speaker 4: it's I understand. And I said, can I are you

45:57 Speaker 4: okay with me using some archival footage? And he's he

46:02 Speaker 4: had actually said only stills. And it was just because

46:07 Speaker 4: really like seeing Hell himself, and and and and I

46:10 Speaker 4: could appreciate that.

46:11 Speaker 1: Yeah.

46:12 Speaker 4: And then you know, I asked uh An Old when

46:18 Speaker 4: I say, bandmate of mine who was was pretty key

46:21 Speaker 4: in my career, he would do it. And he first

46:25 Speaker 4: said yes, And then you know, he went through some

46:28 Speaker 4: some stuff himself and he said, look, I don't I

46:30 Speaker 4: don't think I'm gonna be able to do this. And

46:31 Speaker 4: I didn't. Whatever his reason, you know, he was going

46:35 Speaker 4: through some stuff. Maybe he had second thoughts, maybe maybe

46:38 Speaker 4: he he he wasn't able to do it, And it

46:42 Speaker 4: was important to me because he was. He was very

46:46 Speaker 4: integral part of the middle of my career. So I

46:52 Speaker 4: touched on that whole story and I'm like, man, this

46:54 Speaker 4: is this guy was was It was great, you know,

46:58 Speaker 4: and I made sure that I highlighted that. And is

47:02 Speaker 4: a little thing in the film about him not appearing, Yeah,

47:05 Speaker 4: you know, you know it's and I think it says itself,

47:08 Speaker 4: but you work with We work with a lot of

47:10 Speaker 4: people over the years. Yeah, there were some people that

47:12 Speaker 4: I would love to have had in this film that

47:16 Speaker 4: I thought, well, they're way too big, they're way too famous.

47:20 Speaker 4: They're not going to do this right, And I didn't

47:23 Speaker 4: bother asking. Okay, the truth is some of them probably

47:26 Speaker 4: would have done it because again, you know my friend

47:30 Speaker 4: Steve who who kind of starts this off. I mean,

47:34 Speaker 4: we went to school together, but he's also had you know,

47:37 Speaker 4: top ten, top twenty hit He's phenomenal producers. So it was,

47:42 Speaker 4: you know he I was so appreciative of him too,

47:45 Speaker 4: you know. And then and then jumping forward to my

47:47 Speaker 4: you know, my current band mates, like they were, a

47:54 Speaker 4: couple of them are in it, and they're just so

47:57 Speaker 4: great and gracious in what they said and and being

48:00 Speaker 4: willing to do it because again it's it's kind of

48:03 Speaker 4: nerve wracking, you know. And and then back to myself

48:06 Speaker 4: not liking to be on camera. As you're editing this,

48:09 Speaker 4: you ignore that it's you, and you treat yourself like

48:11 Speaker 4: any other interviewee. Yeah, and and and that's the way

48:14 Speaker 4: you have to do it, and you just you're putting

48:16 Speaker 4: it all out there, you know.

48:18 Speaker 1: Yeah.

48:19 Speaker 5: So now that you've done this, do you do you

48:22 Speaker 5: have the bug to I mean, do you think you'll

48:24 Speaker 5: ever make another documentary or or you just if you've

48:29 Speaker 5: gone back to music and You're just going to focus

48:32 Speaker 5: on that because now, I mean, you know you can

48:34 Speaker 5: do it. You know you can, you can successfully make

48:36 Speaker 5: a documentary. I mean, you know, sometimes you hear about

48:39 Speaker 5: people say, people say, oh I got the bug. Now

48:41 Speaker 5: now I want to do more of this, more filmmaking.

48:43 Speaker 5: I mean, where are you with that?

48:45 Speaker 4: Well, first, I'm one. I'm never one to say, hey,

48:49 Speaker 4: my new album's coming out next month. I don't tell

48:52 Speaker 4: you if something's done until it's done, right. I know

48:57 Speaker 4: a lot of I just I know how that is

49:00 Speaker 4: received in a way. So I usually don't like to say,

49:02 Speaker 4: you know what I'm working on, but I'll you this way.

49:06 Speaker 1: I get that, I get that.

49:07 Speaker 4: I threw something out at Tommy after so so so

49:10 Speaker 4: Tommy Durant again, who helped me with the film very graciously.

49:17 Speaker 4: He so he basically was the supervising editor. Of course,

49:21 Speaker 4: he looked at what I did and went, that's good.

49:22 Speaker 4: That's good. Might change that, you know, and and we

49:25 Speaker 4: and and and we sometimes politely buttered heads on creative

49:32 Speaker 4: you know, ideas, and and and in that I put

49:38 Speaker 4: the trailer together and he looked at it and went, yeah, yeah,

49:41 Speaker 4: well it's good. It's a good start, and I'm thinking, man,

49:44 Speaker 4: if I send it to you, it's the end, it's

49:46 Speaker 4: the it's that's me right. But but but but not

49:49 Speaker 4: in a bad way. But when he said that, I'm like, no,

49:51 Speaker 4: I disagree, and he's no, I don't think it does

49:53 Speaker 4: the film well. And I'm like, man, that is the trailer.

49:54 Speaker 4: Buy like, I'm sorry. And it's still the trailer today.

49:57 Speaker 4: By the way. That's because I I was like, this

50:00 Speaker 4: does represent it. And and and in his defense, he

50:05 Speaker 4: is a professional. He knows what works. What I was

50:09 Speaker 4: doing was not tried and true. It was a little

50:12 Speaker 4: more raw, it was different, and he, you know, he

50:18 Speaker 4: was guiding me to say, look this, this is what

50:20 Speaker 4: normally works for this stuff. And I'm like, let's let's

50:24 Speaker 4: just be a little different here. Because I made my

50:26 Speaker 4: career off of doing what other people don't off performing

50:31 Speaker 4: songs people wouldn't normally do. It has been resoundingly successful

50:37 Speaker 4: for me. So as far as the project, I'll put

50:41 Speaker 4: it to you this way. I had an idea. I

50:43 Speaker 4: threw it by Tommy just before the end of this

50:47 Speaker 4: this film was just rapping and I said, I said,

50:52 Speaker 4: I think this would be a good story, and he says, well,

50:55 Speaker 4: maybe that's our next project, our next project. What do

50:58 Speaker 4: you mean, you know, like you want to work with

51:00 Speaker 4: me again on a serious level. So so I'll put

51:04 Speaker 4: it do this way. We flew to uh South Florida

51:07 Speaker 4: in February for an interview. We've scheduled some other interviews.

51:11 Speaker 4: So do I have the bug? Yes? I do? And

51:17 Speaker 4: am I working on other projects? Yes, I am. They

51:20 Speaker 4: to me ten times better than this personal documentary that

51:24 Speaker 4: I did. Yes, they are cool, Okay, I am. I

51:27 Speaker 4: am excited. I love the process. The good thing that

51:30 Speaker 4: Tommy and I have uh in it's not in common.

51:36 Speaker 4: The good thing is he loves to shoot film, to

51:40 Speaker 4: get the interviews, to do the camera. He loves it.

51:43 Speaker 4: And I am like, I think it's great. But I

51:47 Speaker 4: love to edit, love it. Hates to edit. So it's

51:51 Speaker 4: kind of a match.

51:51 Speaker 1: You're good, You're a perfect team. Then that's great.

51:54 Speaker 4: Yeah, So so I'm excited. I won't say, you know,

51:57 Speaker 4: when something's coming out, I won't say what it's about.

51:59 Speaker 4: I'll just say there's there's something in the works that

52:02 Speaker 4: we're really excited about. And yeah, I have definitely got

52:06 Speaker 4: the bug.

52:07 Speaker 1: Wow, that's awesome. Good, good.

52:08 Speaker 5: I can't wait to see what comes next. Then excellent, Sean.

52:13 Speaker 5: The time goes so fast I can't it's already almost

52:15 Speaker 5: the top of the hour. I am going to put

52:18 Speaker 5: you on the spot though, and say, let's not let

52:20 Speaker 5: another I don't know what, fifteen years, whatever it's been,

52:24 Speaker 5: let's not let that what's time go by go by

52:26 Speaker 5: before we do this again. Because I love talking to you.

52:29 Speaker 5: This has been, this has been wonderful. Before we start

52:33 Speaker 5: to wrap up with you, I want to make sure

52:35 Speaker 5: everybody knows exactly where they can find the documentary Resilience

52:39 Speaker 5: and Sacrifice.

52:41 Speaker 4: So so the easiest way so you can go to

52:45 Speaker 4: first Resilience and Sacrifice dot com. Okay, spell that out.

52:49 Speaker 4: That'll bring you to a couple streaming services. The streaming

52:53 Speaker 4: platform process is a bit again requires patients. Yep, people

52:59 Speaker 4: pick that up. Platforms pick it up when they want. Yeah,

53:02 Speaker 4: you never know who's going to pick it up. So

53:05 Speaker 4: it's on a couple now. But if you go there,

53:07 Speaker 4: it'll bring you right to the trailer and where you

53:09 Speaker 4: can watch and all the IMDb and TMDb stuff about it.

53:13 Speaker 4: You can also go to my website Sean McCarthy dot com.

53:16 Speaker 4: There's links there for it. That's probably the easiest, and

53:21 Speaker 4: that that'll that'll at least get you to it. At

53:25 Speaker 4: some point, you know, it'll be out you know, on YouTube.

53:28 Speaker 4: You know, we usually, I guess this industry standard is

53:32 Speaker 4: let it sit out there and be on platforms for

53:34 Speaker 4: a while before it gets to you know, YouTube or

53:38 Speaker 4: public Vimeo or things like that.

53:40 Speaker 5: Yeah, that's that's my impression as well. So that makes

53:42 Speaker 5: sense and anything coming up musically that we should know about.

53:47 Speaker 4: So it's funny because this film is about my career

53:53 Speaker 4: and but it also does go into my my well,

53:57 Speaker 4: i'll say new project, but the project I've been enough

53:59 Speaker 4: for for four plus four or five years. I'm the

54:03 Speaker 4: guitar player for the band Beautiful Wreck, based out of

54:06 Speaker 4: Rhode Island, and it's a female fronted band with a

54:12 Speaker 4: simply phenomenal singer and I get to play guitar and

54:18 Speaker 4: you know, the band is the band is so just

54:22 Speaker 4: great people. We've been through a couple of changes in

54:25 Speaker 4: that short time to to navigate and to dial in

54:29 Speaker 4: what kind of a project we wanted to be. But

54:31 Speaker 4: it's very much a uh kind of paramour Hailstorm, Evanescence,

54:37 Speaker 4: Pink Mix okay, if that brings it together. We don't

54:40 Speaker 4: do all female female songs. It's kind of cool when

54:44 Speaker 4: when our singer Sabrina, you know, rips out, you know,

54:47 Speaker 4: just some some heavy guy you know song. She's just

54:55 Speaker 4: is what it is. But the project is great, it's

54:57 Speaker 4: doing great. We were Rhode Island based. We play like

55:00 Speaker 4: one venue in Rhode Island because we played throughout New England.

55:03 Speaker 4: We don't do tons of shows, but we were kind

55:05 Speaker 4: of more of a concert band than anything. Okay, so

55:08 Speaker 4: coming up we have some really good shows. We play it,

55:11 Speaker 4: you know, Bally's in Rhode Island, the casino we're in

55:16 Speaker 4: mass I think at another casino. We're not really a

55:18 Speaker 4: casino band, but plain Ridge coming up. But we also

55:22 Speaker 4: just booked a show at the met in Rhode Island.

55:24 Speaker 4: That's all huge for us and for any band really.

55:28 Speaker 4: So we're doing a full band show, but it's it's acoustic,

55:32 Speaker 4: kind of the MTV Unplugged thing. We're doing a couple

55:35 Speaker 4: sets and we have a really good friend of mine,

55:38 Speaker 4: Keith Denny, he from Angry Hill, who's opening the show

55:42 Speaker 4: for us. It's funny. I hate asking friends to open

55:46 Speaker 4: because I feel like maybe that that's a a downgrade,

55:50 Speaker 4: but to me, it's not. Keith has been good to

55:53 Speaker 4: me and my musician friends have been really good to

55:56 Speaker 4: me in the past, and I'm like, man like, if

55:58 Speaker 4: I can give a little back, I love to have

56:01 Speaker 4: love to have him on the show. So he agreed

56:03 Speaker 4: to that. So I would say coming up the Met

56:07 Speaker 4: show is probably the one we're most excited about because

56:11 Speaker 4: it's a big it's a big deal to get an

56:12 Speaker 4: a venue like that.

56:13 Speaker 1: Absolutely, you know, we we we have.

56:16 Speaker 4: Shows in Vermont and New Hampshire and all over. But

56:20 Speaker 4: but and then you know, uh, Sabrina and I the

56:23 Speaker 4: singer for the band just she was up here the

56:25 Speaker 4: other day and we started writing originals. So we're we're

56:28 Speaker 4: excited to get get on.

56:30 Speaker 1: That is very good, very good.

56:33 Speaker 4: So that that's that's the big thing going forward for me.

56:36 Speaker 4: My focus is really all there. And then you know,

56:39 Speaker 4: hopefully people get to see this film because I think

56:42 Speaker 4: that if you're a musician, uh, you can relate. You

56:46 Speaker 4: You've been some something I've done in this film, You've

56:49 Speaker 4: done and and there's no way, there's no way this

56:53 Speaker 4: doesn't relate to you, because I relate to all those

56:55 Speaker 4: musicians too.

56:57 Speaker 5: Oh oh, but but but by the way, Sean's quickly

57:00 Speaker 5: speaking of relating a comment in the chat room Jenny

57:03 Speaker 5: had made. She said, this relates to what we were

57:05 Speaker 5: talking about earlier. I just want to get this in.

57:07 Speaker 5: My therapist does em d R with me for CPTSD

57:11 Speaker 5: and it's a huge help. So so somebody see Jenny

57:15 Speaker 5: connected with something we were talking about earlier in our conversation.

57:18 Speaker 1: So you know it is now.

57:20 Speaker 4: EMDR is not just for you know a singer. E

57:23 Speaker 4: M d R is is is trauma therapy. And if

57:26 Speaker 4: you if you have been going through anything, if you

57:30 Speaker 4: have a fear of something, if you're traumatized, something in

57:33 Speaker 4: your life has happened where you just can't seem to

57:36 Speaker 4: get past it. Forget music. Uh. EMDR therapists are are amazing.

57:42 Speaker 5: There you go, There you go. Excellent, excellent advice and

57:45 Speaker 5: all of it. Sean McCarthy, thank you so much. I'm

57:48 Speaker 5: thinking about ending the segment with this song Sunday Morning.

57:51 Speaker 5: Of the songs that you sent me, I really connected

57:54 Speaker 5: with this one. Anything we should know just quickly before

57:57 Speaker 5: we before we let you go and we play this track.

58:01 Speaker 4: No, I just I'm matt I appreciate you always. Thank

58:04 Speaker 4: you for this time. I hope we can do it

58:05 Speaker 4: again soon.

58:07 Speaker 1: Yes, absolutely, and.

58:09 Speaker 4: You know again, I hope I hope people watch the film.

58:12 Speaker 4: Reach out to me. If you know the streaming services

58:14 Speaker 4: is on, I mean it's not. You know, some are free,

58:18 Speaker 4: summer are not. But I want you to see the film.

58:20 Speaker 4: Shoot me a message. I'll make sure you see the film. However,

58:24 Speaker 4: it's more important that that you see you see it

58:26 Speaker 4: and and not about me, but that you can relate

58:29 Speaker 4: to it. I feel like there's a lot of artists

58:31 Speaker 4: who have hit a point in their life where they go, man,

58:34 Speaker 4: I I did this, I wish I could do it again,

58:36 Speaker 4: or I'd like to look back, or I just think

58:39 Speaker 4: it's relatable. I think that's that's the important part. But no,

58:43 Speaker 4: and I do think in Sunday Morning, by the way,

58:45 Speaker 4: I think it's it's it's one of my favorites. There's

58:48 Speaker 4: there's another version of this song earlier, and this is

58:51 Speaker 4: nothing like it. So I love the reworked version of this.

58:54 Speaker 4: And uh, anyway, I appreciate this. Matt, thank you so much.

58:58 Speaker 5: Absolutely, Sean, thank you. We will definitely do it again soon.

59:01 Speaker 5: We're gonna let you go, we're gonna hit that track

59:03 Speaker 5: to close out today's show. But yeah, Sean McCarthy, thank

59:07 Speaker 5: you so much.

59:08 Speaker 1: Thanks Mat, you got it. Bye bye, all right.

59:10 Speaker 5: That is Sean McCarthy and the documentary is called Resilience

59:14 Speaker 5: and Sacrifice. I highly recommend it. We're out of time,

59:17 Speaker 5: so but yeah, we'll definitely have Sean back again soon

59:20 Speaker 5: because he's got a lot going on, so he's got

59:23 Speaker 5: a lot to talk about, which is very good. So yeah,

59:26 Speaker 5: it was a long time ago the last time I

59:28 Speaker 5: interviewed Sean, so really great to reconnect with him too,

59:31 Speaker 5: so on a you know, on a personal level too.

59:33 Speaker 1: It's really nice to talk to him today.

59:35 Speaker 5: But we will close out with this Sean McCarthy. And

59:38 Speaker 5: the song is called Sunday Morning.

59:45 Speaker 3: Sitting qually in the bedroom, wrapped in a blanket and

59:50 Speaker 3: these fears, good intentions, consequences building up ball