Field Dispatch
Matt Connarton Unleashed 9-28-24 hour 3
Game Plan
Speaker 1: Midnight. Seven times out of ten we listened to our
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Speaker 5: Wmn E RIP the novels.
Speaker 6: Welcome back everybody.
Speaker 2: We have entered our number three New Marrow trace of
Speaker 2: Matt Connorton unleashed and we are live from the studios
Speaker 2: of w m n H ninety five point three FM
Speaker 2: in Glorious Manchester, New Hampshire. Today is Saturday, September twenty eight,
Speaker 2: twenty twenty four. Jenny is here of course at the.
Speaker 6: News table, president account of four.
Speaker 2: And joining us in the studio this morning. We have
Speaker 2: making her third appearance, as we figured out on.
Speaker 6: The on the program. Doctor Bethany Bilidoh is here.
Speaker 7: Welcome back, Thanks so much. I'm so happy to be here.
Speaker 7: I'm shooting for the five.
Speaker 6: Yes, yes, you get to that five dimers club. You get.
Speaker 2: What do we what do we give guests who uh
Speaker 2: we can't afford to give them clap a jacket?
Speaker 6: We'll give a hand.
Speaker 8: Fanning ovation, I think, and our undying gratitude.
Speaker 6: I think we should do five hand claps. When that happens,
Speaker 6: you're pushing it. Well, I just think that, you know,
Speaker 6: come on, five, she get five hand claps? All right?
Speaker 1: I kind of see you point there.
Speaker 6: That makes sense, and they should be enthusiastic to.
Speaker 8: Give them an extra one for good luck.
Speaker 1: No, that's supposed to work.
Speaker 6: There are rules.
Speaker 1: I don't like rules.
Speaker 6: Somebody an extra handclap, that's absurd.
Speaker 9: Breaking the law, breaking the law.
Speaker 1: Figure it out. You can figure around, she will, that's right.
Speaker 2: Sneak one in, boy, I'll tell you. Uh, doctor b
Speaker 2: you congratulations. First of all, you just won yet another award.
Speaker 1: I did. I didn't know we were nominated for it, but.
Speaker 6: Oh that's the best. That often to Jenny and I
Speaker 6: once remember when we got in a certificated that.
Speaker 7: Is awesome when it happens, because it's like surprise, you
Speaker 7: got this and you didn't even exist on the back.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't mine on the wall.
Speaker 2: Jenny and I got Jenny and I got an award
Speaker 2: once emailed to us from somebody, like a Great Broadcaster award.
Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, awesome.
Speaker 1: I got one on the wall from like that.
Speaker 6: You did you frame yours?
Speaker 9: I did?
Speaker 6: Yes, Mine's in my email. Still is this kind of
Speaker 6: random thing?
Speaker 1: Does she use them as wallpaper?
Speaker 6: She does?
Speaker 2: She has many awards. She has many awards, but you
Speaker 2: have many awards. How many awards have you wont now?
Speaker 1: I honestly don't know.
Speaker 8: Yeah, that's a good problem to have, no clue.
Speaker 1: Most of the awards are like, yay, nice job, doctor b.
Speaker 7: You came in first for the best costume on Halloween
Speaker 7: at that elementary school that you worked at that day,
Speaker 7: or you ran the fastest to get in front of
Speaker 7: that kid or something like that. Right, those kind of
Speaker 7: awards and awards an award, you're right, I like those
Speaker 7: awards the best, though, to be honest.
Speaker 2: We'll tell us about this newest one. And you said
Speaker 2: you didn't know you were even nominated.
Speaker 1: I didn't know it's on social equity this one.
Speaker 7: So it's for a leader in the field that has
Speaker 7: really promoted social equity for both their customers as well
Speaker 7: as their employees and has improved quality of life and
Speaker 7: those sorts of things.
Speaker 1: So okay, so it'll be great.
Speaker 7: We have a we're going to the awards ceremony in
Speaker 7: a couple of weeks and a lot of our employees
Speaker 7: are attending it with us, and which will be really awesome.
Speaker 1: We're looking forward to that. Yeah, it'll be a neat
Speaker 1: experience for us.
Speaker 4: All.
Speaker 6: Now, who So who awarded you the award?
Speaker 1: It's Business New Hampshire, I believe.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, nice, So talk to us about social equity.
Speaker 6: So what does this mean and why are they giving
Speaker 6: you this award?
Speaker 7: So a big part of it is really about like we,
Speaker 7: as you know, we work with at risk youth and
Speaker 7: for the listeners that are on that don't know that,
Speaker 7: we work with youth that are really marginalized, and we
Speaker 7: tend to run large alternative education programs within school districts,
Speaker 7: or we come into school districts and we train them
Speaker 7: on how to work with particular students that may be
Speaker 7: struggling and because of that our goal is always to
Speaker 7: increase their social value, So we spend a lot of
Speaker 7: time helping to facilitate peer relationships, helping to establish healthier
Speaker 7: relationships between them and the adults that they're working with
Speaker 7: within their schools and within their communities, and really improve
Speaker 7: their social value over time.
Speaker 1: So that that's very relevant.
Speaker 7: And oftentimes these kids are reintegrated most of the time,
Speaker 7: more than eighty five percent of the time, these students
Speaker 7: are reintegrated back into their general education setting and into
Speaker 7: their communities. And oftentimes these are students that haven't had
Speaker 7: that luxury of participating in a general education setting in
Speaker 7: years by the time they get to us. So it's
Speaker 7: really about getting them back to where they can be
Speaker 7: and have connections, because that's such a huge factor in
Speaker 7: quality of life.
Speaker 6: Right right. Absolutely.
Speaker 2: By the way, Sarah Patna is in the chat room
Speaker 2: and says, let's go for ten.
Speaker 1: We get there a little time, Sarah, you're always back
Speaker 1: pushing us off.
Speaker 6: And then and then you'll get ten collaps. It'll be great.
Speaker 1: Even for good laws.
Speaker 6: We don't do that. What Benji tell us, I know
Speaker 6: you don't want to brag, but you should tell us
Speaker 6: about the other awards that you've won.
Speaker 7: So we won just recently, about five or six months ago.
Speaker 7: We also won an award and Education so for people
Speaker 7: who have made significant contributions and changes in the world
Speaker 7: of education. And that's again, you know, due to our
Speaker 7: work with at risk youth and reintegrating students into the
Speaker 7: general education setting. And our goal is always to get
Speaker 7: into a school, give them the skills, teach them what
Speaker 7: they need to know, and then get out. And we
Speaker 7: spend a lot of time coaching families to a significant
Speaker 7: amount of time actually coaching families, okay, and that makes
Speaker 7: a huge difference. Like it's just such a great thing
Speaker 7: when you have a parents say we'll teach us something,
Speaker 7: we will, we want to and oftentimes they do. They've
Speaker 7: tried everything they know. It's just a matter of youth
Speaker 7: are different today. We're different today. There's so many changes
Speaker 7: that have happened in the past five to ten years,
Speaker 7: and the strategy she's that we used ten twenty years
Speaker 7: ago don't necessarily work. So it's a matter of just
Speaker 7: having better strategies that address the actual issues that are
Speaker 7: going on right And most of the time it really
Speaker 7: stems down to safety, safe, feeling regulated, if you don't
Speaker 7: feel safe, you're not going to take a risk.
Speaker 1: And so many things in life involve us taking the risk.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm curious. I don't know if we talked about
Speaker 6: this much before. Something specific.
Speaker 2: You mentioned about strategies that worked ten or twenty years
Speaker 2: ago that don't necessarily work now. Can you give us
Speaker 2: some examples of what used to work that doesn't work
Speaker 2: now and maybe why?
Speaker 7: Yeah, those time compliance that's a big one that doesn't
Speaker 7: work nowadays. Like that, you know, back twenty years ago,
Speaker 7: you could say, well, if you don't do this, you're
Speaker 7: going to get in trouble. We're gonna either call the
Speaker 7: police or get the principle in here, or tell your
Speaker 7: parents or something like that, And there's no fear of
Speaker 7: that nowadays, there really isn't in The fear is really
Speaker 7: I have to live my life. I've gotta be able
Speaker 7: to post something on social media that one of my
Speaker 7: other peers is going to think is cool.
Speaker 1: Otherwise I have no social value. It's gonna reduce me.
Speaker 7: You know, those are really the concerns that youth are
Speaker 7: having today, much more so than you know, an authority
Speaker 7: figure coming in and providing something, because they know that there's.
Speaker 6: No real power behind that inting.
Speaker 7: So there that is not a concern. Like you know,
Speaker 7: I'll always tell schools. They'll be like, Oh, we're gonna
Speaker 7: this is happening. We're gonna call the police, and I'll
Speaker 7: be like, just give me a few minutes and let
Speaker 7: me see if I can, you know, get this situation
Speaker 7: turned around before we go down that road. Because once
Speaker 7: you call the police once or twice, that's it. Right
Speaker 7: the next time they come and they're gonna be hey,
Speaker 7: what's up, you know, right right to the officers. So
Speaker 7: you know, don't use that as a threat because it's
Speaker 7: it's really not a threat.
Speaker 1: At this point.
Speaker 6: But why did that used to work?
Speaker 7: I think because we did have that concern and that fear.
Speaker 7: The way we were raised created that. I think kids
Speaker 7: are much more knowledgeable about those things nowadays. They're much
Speaker 7: more desensitized to it because they're so overexposed to so
Speaker 7: many things, and they also know what the results of
Speaker 7: it are. They know if a police officer comes in,
Speaker 7: what they can do, what they can't do, And they
Speaker 7: didn't have that awareness.
Speaker 6: Yeah, ten or.
Speaker 1: Twenty years ago.
Speaker 7: They're very over stimulated, oversaturated to things that are going
Speaker 7: on in their world, and that's made a huge difference
Speaker 7: in how they interact. They feel on edge a little
Speaker 7: fearful all the time, but most people do. I will
Speaker 7: say that that's true of most individuals, not just youth
Speaker 7: and so feeling safe enough to be able to do
Speaker 7: something that's a little different or out of their comfort zone,
Speaker 7: it takes a big step. So you've got to get
Speaker 7: them to feel safe first and then give them some
Speaker 7: strategies to help them regulate and that sort of thing.
Speaker 7: So many of us are, like, you know, we're constantly
Speaker 7: looking for something else to do or something to get
Speaker 7: upset over because we're so used to.
Speaker 1: Feeling that way.
Speaker 7: We've been conditioned to feel that way so much of
Speaker 7: the time that sometimes when we don't feel that way,
Speaker 7: it feels almost boring. It's not raging enough for the brains. So,
Speaker 7: you know, teaching yourself that there's good things in the calmness,
Speaker 7: that your body has time to heal, you have time
Speaker 7: to you know, get yourself into a better state of
Speaker 7: mind and everything else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, Elizabeth England in the Facebook live chat uh
Speaker 2: says in social media wasn't so important? Yeah, I mean, well,
Speaker 2: twenty years ago we didn't even have well, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I guess we I guess we did twenty years ago, right,
Speaker 2: we had, we did, we.
Speaker 6: Had my Space. I don't know about it.
Speaker 7: Many people were really on social media, though, are paying
Speaker 7: as close attention to it now as they did it,
Speaker 7: you know back in you know, twenty years ago versus now.
Speaker 7: I mean now, it's a huge thing, especially if I'm
Speaker 7: with kids. They have you know, in schools, are a
Speaker 7: little bit more careful about the phones, but if I'm
Speaker 7: in their homes, have no qualms in the middle of
Speaker 7: talking with me, taking it out and checking something on
Speaker 7: their phone or texting someone or you know, doing a
Speaker 7: snapchat real quick or something like that.
Speaker 1: It's just commonplace.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and it's it is how they interact with each
Speaker 7: other nowadays. If you look at teens, they're all sitting together,
Speaker 7: but they're not really talking to each other, and they're
Speaker 7: all got their phones out and they're you know, communicating
Speaker 7: through that and they're reading each other's snapchat. They're like
Speaker 7: the snapchat, the pictures coming up, and they're looking at
Speaker 7: it and it's their friend that's sitting two seats down.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Yeah.
Speaker 6: That's funny.
Speaker 2: Our friend Ricky Mapleton, who's very funny. He does he's
Speaker 2: a musician, but he does these comedy songs and he
Speaker 2: has one we played it on the show. It's got
Speaker 2: a long title, something like shoot me an email while
Speaker 2: I'm standing right in front of you, and it's about
Speaker 2: that kind of thing.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yes, what do you do? So how do you
Speaker 6: And this might.
Speaker 2: Be useful for parents or anyone who's dealing with kids. Well,
Speaker 2: hopefully this entire conversation is, but something specific I'm wondering about,
Speaker 2: So what do you do? How do you address that
Speaker 2: when that exactly scenario. You know, you're you're talking to
Speaker 2: a kid and right in the middle of the conversation
Speaker 2: they just.
Speaker 6: Switch to me.
Speaker 2: Seems I mean, how rude, right, But to them, it's
Speaker 2: like I guess some some of them, they just don't even.
Speaker 7: It's part of the social norm or that it is
Speaker 7: part of the social norm of what's going on today.
Speaker 7: So for me personally, I just try to be way
Speaker 7: more engaging than what's going on on their device. So
Speaker 7: that oftentimes means that I'm either acting things out, or
Speaker 7: I'm using silly voices, or I'm doing whatever, or I'm
Speaker 7: saying something shocking or whatever it is. But yeah, my
Speaker 7: role is really to engage, so because if I can't engage,
Speaker 7: I can't change behavior. So I spend a lot of
Speaker 7: time trying to do something that is a little bit
Speaker 7: out of the ordinary to get their attention. And oftentimes
Speaker 7: I'm so focused on them in giving them so much
Speaker 7: feedback that they're almost uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Taking it out at times. Oh really, they'll.
Speaker 7: Take it out, but they'll be like, well, I'm just
Speaker 7: doing this and I'll be like, oh, show me, I
Speaker 7: want to see.
Speaker 1: I don't know anything about social media, show me how
Speaker 1: to do that.
Speaker 7: And then they'll be like, okay, this is now a
Speaker 7: lesson for you, you know. And I try to engage
Speaker 7: them with the item if I can't engage them in
Speaker 7: another way.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 7: I also recommend to parents a lot, like have your
Speaker 7: kids take social media breaks and do the same. You know,
Speaker 7: if you guys are going away for a day or
Speaker 7: you know, a weekend or something, take a break, you know,
Speaker 7: to leave your phones at home or use it only
Speaker 7: at specific times. You know, do things like that because
Speaker 7: that will really help all of you interact on a
Speaker 7: much larger level and have some conversations that are more
Speaker 7: in depth and fun conversations about things you want. Like
Speaker 7: with my daughters, I'll be like a perfect saturday. Tell
Speaker 7: me what a perfect Saturday would be.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 1: My eleven year old would say.
Speaker 7: You take me shopping and then for ice cream and
Speaker 7: we do all these fabulous things. But you know, so
Speaker 7: just doing things like that where you're getting to know
Speaker 7: them a little bit better, yeah, makes a huge difference.
Speaker 7: But I used to My boys are adults now, but
Speaker 7: I used to ask my boys to take social media
Speaker 7: vacations and stuff like that, and I would They would
Speaker 7: actually take the social media platforms off the phones, like
Speaker 7: they would delete that, oh for periods of time and everything.
Speaker 7: Usually it was a result of doing something on social.
Speaker 1: Media that wasn't fabulous, but that would be.
Speaker 7: But we would get to know each other so much
Speaker 7: better during that time period when they didn't have it
Speaker 7: on their phones because they didn't really have the desire
Speaker 7: to text and do that sort of thing. That's not
Speaker 7: how youth communicate now. It's usually through snapchatter, Instagram or something.
Speaker 7: So they would, you know, so they would have conversations. Yeah.
Speaker 6: Yeah, how big of a problem is this in schools?
Speaker 2: Because something something that I wonder about is how do
Speaker 2: schools even.
Speaker 6: I guess every school system must have their.
Speaker 1: Own, it is all a little different on how they
Speaker 1: deal with it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I mean, I've heard of schools where
Speaker 2: they have the like where the students walk in and
Speaker 2: they actually take.
Speaker 1: Their phones away their band they put them.
Speaker 6: In some sort of lock box until the end of
Speaker 6: the day or something.
Speaker 7: There are some schools that have done that too, and
Speaker 7: there's a lot of schools have that have worked really
Speaker 7: hard to get responsible use and if that's violated, then
Speaker 7: there's consequences for the violations and so on and so forth.
Speaker 1: The problem with the phones is that it really on
Speaker 1: a brain level.
Speaker 7: When you're looking at the brain, it wears out the
Speaker 7: dopamine receptors, So then you're checking it more often, you're
Speaker 7: doing it, you know, and then you're like, I can't
Speaker 7: get that feedback from it, So then they're looking up
Speaker 7: more and more shocking things. Over time, it was just
Speaker 7: pushing them to have more and more of that intense feedback,
Speaker 7: which isn't real life a lot of the time.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, if you are just joining us, we're talking with
Speaker 2: doctor Bethany Bilido, doctor b As. She is like to
Speaker 2: she likes to be called from, of course, out of
Speaker 2: the behavior boot camp.
Speaker 6: And we're just gonna take a very quick break.
Speaker 2: I'm actually gonna have I'm gonna play a little something
Speaker 2: and we're gonna have you switch to a different microphone
Speaker 2: because that that microphone isn't sounding quite right, and I
Speaker 2: want to make sure everyone can hear you.
Speaker 1: So it's not it's not it's probably user error. Was anology.
Speaker 1: It's not guarantee an, it's not.
Speaker 2: It's not you, I promise, uh, but uh, we'll be
Speaker 2: right back. We're gonna play a little jam tomorrow and
Speaker 2: we'll be right back with Doctor b.
Speaker 7: M.
Speaker 10: And A feel like things are falling into place.
Speaker 7: And I feel.
Speaker 10: Like it's the end of the Red Queen's Races, and
Speaker 10: I feel like the stars.
Speaker 11: Are gonna change because I feel like this was all just.
Speaker 5: Rearray. As we move from hugs.
Speaker 10: And handshakes, we must remember how our souls ay, as
Speaker 10: we move from confidant to confidet, we must remember how
Speaker 10: our souls pay re.
Speaker 5: But A feel like things are falling in mint.
Speaker 2: All right, that's a little bit of jam tomorrow, falling
Speaker 2: into place, such a great song.
Speaker 6: We'll play the whole thing at the end of the show.
Speaker 2: I promise I love that song so much, but we
Speaker 2: just wanted to switch our guests to a different microphone.
Speaker 2: So if you are just joining us here on Matt
Speaker 2: Connorton Unleashed this morning, we have a doctor Bethany billideo
Speaker 2: with us live and studio, and let's bring that mic
Speaker 2: up and let's see how we do. Hello, doctor Bee, Hey,
Speaker 2: how are you? Oh that sounds better already. I just
Speaker 2: got to boost the volume a little bit.
Speaker 7: So Matt said that this microphone never goes down. And
Speaker 7: you know, those of you that know me and have
Speaker 7: been at trainings of men, you know that that that's
Speaker 7: the technology curse with me?
Speaker 1: Right?
Speaker 2: Really have you have you had a technical glitches over
Speaker 2: the ears?
Speaker 7: Everywhere I go, I will say shout out to Bo
Speaker 7: School district. Whenever I train in Bow School district. All
Speaker 7: the technology always works perfectly. Really, any other just direct
Speaker 7: I train in pretty much there's usually some glitch.
Speaker 6: We shout out to both school districts. Then that's excellent.
Speaker 6: That's excellent.
Speaker 2: So if you could talk a little bit about the
Speaker 2: behavior boot camp. Obviously you know, as we said, this
Speaker 2: is your third time on the show. But for listeners
Speaker 2: who are just getting to know you for the first time,
Speaker 2: what is this?
Speaker 7: So the Behavior boot Camp is really our online platform.
Speaker 7: We have a course, an online course that's also live.
Speaker 7: We hold weekly sessions as well through the course, but
Speaker 7: it's it's a training program that teaches people how to
Speaker 7: understand and how to teach, and how to recognize when
Speaker 7: safety is a concern, how regulation is a concern, and
Speaker 7: those strategies and then a lot of higher skills, like
Speaker 7: you can't get to the therapeutic parts. You can't get
Speaker 7: to the the mindfulness, you can't get to the meditation,
Speaker 7: you can't get to the all of those social emotional learning,
Speaker 7: all those other pieces until you can address safety and
Speaker 7: regulation first. So that course teaches it, and it's really
Speaker 7: simple things like how you're standing, the way you tilt
Speaker 7: your head, how you're moving into the space with another
Speaker 7: person so that they feel safe, and how to do
Speaker 7: those things. And whenever I walk into a school and
Speaker 7: they'll say, oh, you know, there's a meltdown going on,
Speaker 7: they'll say, doctor b you know, can you handle that?
Speaker 1: Absolutely?
Speaker 7: And I go outside and within two seconds the kids
Speaker 7: coming in that was taking off into the woods.
Speaker 1: Or whatever and they're like, why do you do that
Speaker 1: so fast?
Speaker 7: It's not rocket science, it's simple techniques that can be taught.
Speaker 7: And we really developed this online course because we had
Speaker 7: a lot of places outside of New England contacting us
Speaker 7: for support that we really couldn't address the need, and
Speaker 7: we couldn't address the need of as many school districts
Speaker 7: that were asking for the support in these alternative ED
Speaker 7: programs in their schools because of the number of staff
Speaker 7: that we have, and there were so many parents that
Speaker 7: were calling and I'm trying to talk them through on
Speaker 7: the phone how to do a technique that I was like,
Speaker 7: we need something that where people can see it. So
Speaker 7: oftentimes if we're working with family, were you know, giving
Speaker 7: them a membership to the course and that sort of
Speaker 7: thing so they can learn the skills, so they can
Speaker 7: see all these techniques and everything else. And we operate
Speaker 7: on that through social media too. We put out little
Speaker 7: clips every few days on social media that show different
Speaker 7: techniques and all of that, because we really feel like
Speaker 7: we're doing something that's very unique. I've only met a
Speaker 7: couple of other professionals in the nation that do similar
Speaker 7: work and their solo shows, so we really feel obligated
Speaker 7: to give these strategies and techniques to the community at
Speaker 7: large because a lot of people don't know them and
Speaker 7: they are very different from traditional you know, techniques that
Speaker 7: were used, and traditional techniques can still work, Yeah, but
Speaker 7: they only work with about thirty percent of the population
Speaker 7: at this point.
Speaker 6: Okay, so there's nobody else really doing this on this level.
Speaker 7: No. I know an occupational therapist that does somewhat similar
Speaker 7: work with her student in Massachusetts, and then there's a
Speaker 7: woman over in California that actually two women who do
Speaker 7: similar work, but again it's a one on one situation,
Speaker 7: and one of them's a therapist and the other one
Speaker 7: is a behaviorist, but she only teaches it through yoga techniques,
Speaker 7: And that's not what we do. Ours encompasses so much
Speaker 7: more than just physical maneuvers with the body and everything else.
Speaker 7: We do a lot that deals with the mind and
Speaker 7: brain health and mental health and everything else. So our
Speaker 7: strategies are really proprietary to what we do and how
Speaker 7: we work with students, but it's how we get results
Speaker 7: so fast.
Speaker 6: We do have a question in the chat room, Angela.
Speaker 4: Carter.
Speaker 2: Angela Griffiths Carter says, how are the book ease the
Speaker 2: pain in the classroom and the behavior boot camp related.
Speaker 7: Well, the book actually I wrote the book which is
Speaker 7: coming out in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 6: Oh congratulations, thank you.
Speaker 7: So that book will be released in twenty twenty five.
Speaker 7: And I wrote that book as a supplement to the
Speaker 7: course itself because there's a lot of educators that say,
Speaker 7: you know, I don't have time to go through the
Speaker 7: videos on the course. I don't have time to attend
Speaker 7: the classes, the live classes that you guys hold, So
Speaker 7: what are my other options? So we certainly don't have
Speaker 7: as much content in the book as we have in
Speaker 7: the online course. But the book itself is about sixty
Speaker 7: thousand words, which is it's dense. So that is really
Speaker 7: just a it's an educator's tool to use in the
Speaker 7: classroom on new strategies on how to use classroom management.
Speaker 7: So the book is actually eased the pain, a guide
Speaker 7: to safety and regulation in the classroom so educators can teach.
Speaker 1: Are you self publishing or going through a publisher? You know,
Speaker 1: we have a few options.
Speaker 7: We do have a publisher, but we may end up
Speaker 7: going the self publishing route because there's a few things
Speaker 7: that I want to be able to do with the book.
Speaker 1: We may not be able to do with a publisher.
Speaker 7: So we're going to make that decision at the end
Speaker 7: of November. We'll make that decision.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So the developing that course must have, that must
Speaker 2: have been quite the undertaking.
Speaker 1: It was fun. Yeah.
Speaker 7: I mean I love to write curriculum, and I write
Speaker 7: a lot of curriculum. I've written a lot of curriculum
Speaker 7: for years and years for different organizations and for you know,
Speaker 7: for different things that I train on and everything.
Speaker 1: So I love to write curriculums.
Speaker 7: So I basically just sat down and wrote it in
Speaker 7: modules of everything people need to know for you know,
Speaker 7: to address safety issues.
Speaker 1: You know, if your kids having a.
Speaker 7: Tantrum, what do you do, Well, here's how you determine
Speaker 7: why they're having the tantrum.
Speaker 1: And they may not right off the bat, right.
Speaker 7: They're having the tantrum because I didn't give them a
Speaker 7: candy bar and you know, or.
Speaker 1: Whatever it may be.
Speaker 7: But it talks about how to get them to a
Speaker 7: point of safety. And then it has all the components
Speaker 7: on regulation and in the online course, I mean, we
Speaker 7: have tons of information on nutrition and on different things
Speaker 7: that you can do as far as supplementation brain ish shoes.
Speaker 7: A lot of people don't realize how many things impact
Speaker 7: the brain and what's going on with those components. You know,
Speaker 7: I'll meet a youth that's like really irritable and they'll
Speaker 7: be like, no, you know, I don't like this certain kid.
Speaker 7: And I'll say, oh, yeah, why, well, you know two
Speaker 7: years ago on the bus.
Speaker 1: He tripped me and so on and.
Speaker 7: So forth, and I'm like, oh, yeah, you're operating in
Speaker 7: the Olympic party your brain, kiddo.
Speaker 1: Okay, So here's what we need to do.
Speaker 7: You need more high intensity movement, you need to you know,
Speaker 7: we need to really look at having more of a
Speaker 7: higher protein diet, lower carbs, so we're gonna encourage you
Speaker 7: to eat that when you're at school and those sorts
Speaker 7: of things. But there's some very specific things you can
Speaker 7: do to support the Olympic part of the brain. And
Speaker 7: really what that means is the Olympics getting all the
Speaker 7: blood flow. Nothing else is getting the blood flow. So
Speaker 7: if you're asking a kid to learn, or even an
Speaker 7: adult they if they want to learn something new, and
Speaker 7: Olympics getting all the blood flow, you don't have anything
Speaker 7: in your prefrontal cortex.
Speaker 1: You can't learn, you can't learn new content.
Speaker 7: So you've got to be able to get brain you know,
Speaker 7: blood flow to that front part of the brain. And
Speaker 7: there's some really simple, simple strategies to do that. And
Speaker 7: one is you know, high high intensity movement and it
Speaker 7: can be for just a couple of seconds, you know,
Speaker 7: having them pick something up and putting it down a
Speaker 7: few times before they you know, go into the activity
Speaker 7: or something.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I remember you talking about that last time.
Speaker 2: And you know how you know, sometimes that physical activity,
Speaker 2: a little bit of exercise can really help the brain.
Speaker 2: It's as you know, as we talked about on your podcast.
Speaker 2: I'm a hypnotherapist and something that I really tell all
Speaker 2: my clients is, you know, if you because very often
Speaker 2: someone might come to me because they want to stop smoking,
Speaker 2: or they can't sleep at night or whatever it is,
Speaker 2: and we always end up talking about their exercise regimen
Speaker 2: and whether or not they have one, because the reality is,
Speaker 2: if you're exercising, everything else will be better.
Speaker 6: Oh yeah, everything else will be better.
Speaker 2: It's not just about how you feel physically, it's how
Speaker 2: you feel emotionally and mentally, your your clarity and everything
Speaker 2: it all relates and just that you know, even if
Speaker 2: it's just walking a little bit each day, that will
Speaker 2: make there's no way it makes anything worse.
Speaker 6: It'll just it'll make everything better.
Speaker 1: It's a huge that's the biggest thing.
Speaker 7: You push those large amino acids into the muscles and
Speaker 7: you get that blood flow of the front of the brain.
Speaker 1: It makes a huge difference.
Speaker 7: My husband will be the first person to say that
Speaker 7: if I don't exercise at during the day, I am
Speaker 7: not fit for human consumption.
Speaker 1: Is mean.
Speaker 7: Yeah, so, you know, you make it part of the lifestyle.
Speaker 7: But nowadays, because of the structure of households and stuff,
Speaker 7: a lot of kids don't get a lot of physical
Speaker 7: movement during the course of the day, right So, and
Speaker 7: they're getting pee maybe once a week. I mean, there's
Speaker 7: some school districts that have it more often, which is great,
Speaker 7: But even at recess, kids aren't moving all that much.
Speaker 1: They're you know, they may go up and down the
Speaker 1: slide a couple of times, but they're not breaking.
Speaker 7: A sweat always right right, So, and it's not consistent.
Speaker 6: So, yeah, any more of it.
Speaker 2: And you did talk to you spoke about nutrition and
Speaker 2: how important that is for the French when you're in
Speaker 2: these school systems. Do you see and this this isn't
Speaker 2: something you probably address with the school system necessarily, I
Speaker 2: wouldn't think, But do you see issues with what they're
Speaker 2: serving for lunches in public schools as not being optimum?
Speaker 1: For for sure?
Speaker 7: I mean, the school districts are doing the best they can.
Speaker 7: It's a program. So they're given the items that they're given,
Speaker 7: and they you know, and they have to serve those
Speaker 7: specific items.
Speaker 1: It's very regimented.
Speaker 7: But it is not a diet that is conducive to
Speaker 7: good brain health, unfortunately. And there is a common factor
Speaker 7: that all of my students pretty much I would say
Speaker 7: ninety nine percent of my student's experience, and it is
Speaker 7: that they eat a processed Western diet. And when we
Speaker 7: have the opportunity, we've had the opportunity to change some
Speaker 7: of our students' diets, and amazing things happen their verbal
Speaker 7: abilities and improve.
Speaker 1: Their behavioral lists.
Speaker 7: You tend to really tend to decrease significant changes in
Speaker 7: mental health. I mean, we see huge changes when we
Speaker 7: can modify and work with their diets.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's not enough.
Speaker 7: I mean, you've got a diet is just one piece
Speaker 7: of the puzzle and everything and it's hard. I mean,
Speaker 7: like I'll be the first one to say that, you know,
Speaker 7: I love I love having ice cream on Friday. I
Speaker 7: was at a meeting yesterday and I had one of
Speaker 7: the administrators in the school bought me a donut and
Speaker 7: I was like, oh my god, this is the best
Speaker 7: donut I've ever had. Shout out to Brothers Donuts in Franklin,
Speaker 7: New Hampshire. I was like, this donut is amazing, and
Speaker 7: I love sugar, but you know, I don't have it
Speaker 7: on a daily basis.
Speaker 1: And it's you know, I mean, and.
Speaker 7: It's tough because there's so many of those things that
Speaker 7: help us hit those dopamine receptors, but they don't help
Speaker 7: us long term. Like they might help us in the
Speaker 7: short term for a couple of minutes, but they're not
Speaker 7: going to help us long term, especially not over the long.
Speaker 6: Haul, right right.
Speaker 2: People always talk too about and we hear this a
Speaker 2: lot on the show whenever we discussed social media. I mean,
Speaker 2: is it true that do you find that people's attention
Speaker 2: spans just generally are much shorter than they used to be?
Speaker 7: Yes, for sure, And I mean you can see that
Speaker 7: with social media and stuff too. I mean you know,
Speaker 7: not that we've been doing social media stuff for very long.
Speaker 7: I mean it's been pretty it's pretty short time span.
Speaker 7: But even since we started stuff a couple of years ago,
Speaker 7: we've had to shorten the length of time because we
Speaker 7: don't get engagement if things are as long as they
Speaker 7: were when we released them two three years ago.
Speaker 6: No kidding.
Speaker 2: Yeah, even you can see even over the past couple
Speaker 2: of years, you can see that difference.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 6: That's amazing and disheartening. Yeah.
Speaker 7: You think about it, back when, like podcasts could be
Speaker 7: an hour and people would listen to them, right, and
Speaker 7: certain people will all listen to a podcast for an hour. Sure, yeah,
Speaker 7: me too, me too, but younger people oftentimes won't.
Speaker 1: Twenty minutes is the max.
Speaker 7: I mean, right now, we're doing a video podcast series
Speaker 7: all on our book, and it's twenty minutes max.
Speaker 1: Like they cut me at twenty minutes.
Speaker 6: Oh, no kidding, Yeah, yeah, yep, oh yeah, it's too bad.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I'm like, I had another good ud get, but
Speaker 7: I'll just have to I'll just have to ask you
Speaker 7: off off.
Speaker 2: Of right right, yeah, if you are just joining us.
Speaker 2: Doctor Bethany Bilideo is here from the Behavior boot Camp
Speaker 2: and somebody had a question. Oh, somebody in the chat
Speaker 2: room made a comment about drinking water. That's probably another
Speaker 2: thing too. I guess you could kind of sort of
Speaker 2: file that under nutrition right now.
Speaker 7: It is, yeah, And I mean I've looked up a
Speaker 7: lot of the stats on it. I've read a lot
Speaker 7: a lot of journal articles on water, and it's it's
Speaker 7: something like more than eighty five percent of the kids
Speaker 7: that are diagnosed with ADHD are actually severely dehydrated.
Speaker 1: And real times interest.
Speaker 7: Yeah, and sometimes if you can increase their ability to
Speaker 7: consume water, you see that their symptoms decrease significantly.
Speaker 2: Oh that's interesting, Yeah, that's interesting. Angela said in the
Speaker 2: chat room. A lot of my students bring sugary snacks
Speaker 2: to school, as they're only nutrition.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's unfortunate.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Yeah, there's some school districts that have great programs as
Speaker 7: far as providing fruits and vegetables and things like that additionally,
Speaker 7: so kids can have those at snacks, and those sorts
Speaker 7: of times when when we work with those particular districts,
Speaker 7: we're really pushing those pieces of it, you know, and saying, oh, yeah,
Speaker 7: save that for later, save that for after school, and
Speaker 7: that sort of thing because.
Speaker 1: You see it too.
Speaker 7: I mean, if you have something super sugary and then
Speaker 7: they're going into a class, they're not going to be
Speaker 7: able to be appropriately or even optimally to learn right right.
Speaker 2: I feel like we have a much much broader problem
Speaker 2: in our culture too, with just I don't understand why.
Speaker 2: You know, it's like you come into the world and
Speaker 2: it seems like, right out of the gate, everybody around you,
Speaker 2: like all these people who love you, your family and
Speaker 2: everyone you know, they can't wait to just fill you
Speaker 2: up with sugar and things that cause diabetes and junk food.
Speaker 2: It's strange, you know. It's like, you know, you have
Speaker 2: your first birthday and.
Speaker 6: Here here's cake.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it's it's it's bizarre if you if
Speaker 2: you really think about it logically, like why do we
Speaker 2: do that?
Speaker 1: Yeah? A lot of our celebrations revolve around foods. Yeah,
Speaker 1: stuff like that.
Speaker 6: We're all taught.
Speaker 2: We're taught from a very young age that all these
Speaker 2: things that are so terrible for you eat this.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Well, you think back to antiquity, I mean, when people
Speaker 7: were starving and in a state of starvation and going
Speaker 7: days and days on time not able to find food.
Speaker 1: The quickest energy source with sugar. So anything with sugar.
Speaker 7: Sugar has become this you know, celebratory item because of that.
Speaker 7: I think, you know, over time and and we still
Speaker 7: view it that way.
Speaker 1: I mean, you have sugar, I.
Speaker 2: Like, right, yeah, it's uh yeah, it's frustrating. What's what's
Speaker 2: what's the single biggest issue you see in schools? I
Speaker 2: know it's kind of a broad question, but I mean,
Speaker 2: is there is there something that really stands out that
Speaker 2: that you see consistently in every school system you go into.
Speaker 7: So for me, because I'm called in because a student
Speaker 7: is probably physically aggressive, so that's what I see, but
Speaker 7: that's the reason I'm being asked to come in. So
Speaker 7: I do a lot of Tier one, Tier two trainings,
Speaker 7: and those are kids that are not aggressive but might
Speaker 7: be refusing.
Speaker 1: I think the.
Speaker 7: Refusals are huge, refusing to participate or they're walking out.
Speaker 2: So kids who aren't violent, they're just they're just saying
Speaker 2: I'm just not gonna Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm doing that for professional development wise.
Speaker 7: That's what I'm training on most of the time, because
Speaker 7: usually if they have a kid who's physically aggressive, they're
Speaker 7: referring them to an organization such as mine that specializes
Speaker 7: in working with kids like that. And I'm not necessarily
Speaker 7: training the school staff to deal with that. Sometimes i am,
Speaker 7: because there aren't agencies of vail to deal with those
Speaker 7: sorts of challenges. But it's probably the refusal and the
Speaker 7: avoidance is the big one that that is getting reported,
Speaker 7: and those are simple things to address. I mean typically,
Speaker 7: right now, you think about from a learning perspective, how
Speaker 7: do people learn nowadays?
Speaker 1: Well, we can learn through repetition. Most individuals hate that.
Speaker 1: It sucks.
Speaker 7: We can learn through things that are super super engaging,
Speaker 7: or we can learn through things that are new novel.
Speaker 7: So the easiest way to engage, you know, students at
Speaker 7: this point is really to either make it new, present
Speaker 7: the materials so it's new, or make it super engaging.
Speaker 7: Those two things. Because most kids won't do repetition. You
Speaker 7: do still have some students that will engage in repetition.
Speaker 7: But that's you think back to your own school experiences, it's.
Speaker 1: Probably a lot through repetition.
Speaker 7: I know mine was a lot through repetition, you know,
Speaker 7: and I'd be writing it and be like a squirrel,
Speaker 7: do do you know? Sort of So I had some
Speaker 7: great teachers, but I was not a great student so
Speaker 7: at all, and I think I'm in this field because
Speaker 7: I feel for kids.
Speaker 1: I know it's tough.
Speaker 7: I you know, I knew every hiding place in my
Speaker 7: elementary school. They'd say, you know, Bethany, you need to
Speaker 7: go up to the library, the creepy library and work
Speaker 7: up there. It was like one of those weird like
Speaker 7: the ceilings were only like seven feet tall really, so
Speaker 7: it was really it was a strange space. So they'd
Speaker 7: be like, go upstairs and work, and I would just
Speaker 7: hide under one of the water fountains or in one
Speaker 7: of the cabinets going up.
Speaker 1: There or something.
Speaker 7: And then eventually I'd go back to class and they'd
Speaker 7: be like, did you work up the Oh yeah, I
Speaker 7: worked up.
Speaker 6: The right right. Oh wow, that's funny. How many.
Speaker 2: I know, we talked about this before and I was
Speaker 2: surprised at how large the number was. But how many
Speaker 2: school districts are you working with it at any given time?
Speaker 7: So we tend to focus on twelve in a year primarily,
Speaker 7: but I personally work with about twenty to twenty five
Speaker 7: during a school year. So my reach is a little
Speaker 7: bit different because I do so much professional development and
Speaker 7: I do I train about I do about one hundred
Speaker 7: trainings a year. So I'm in a lot more schools
Speaker 7: than my staff are in because they're in they're in
Speaker 7: the same schools every day. Whereas I'm going in and
Speaker 7: either doing professional development or I'm writing an assessment on
Speaker 7: a student that's struggling or something like that, and then
Speaker 7: or I'm doing a parent training and then I'm out
Speaker 7: and I'm onto a different in a different school and
Speaker 7: that sort of thing. So my time is very short. Okay, schools,
Speaker 7: So and we rotate. We don't stay in the same
Speaker 7: schools every year. Like we really look at it as
Speaker 7: we need an exit plan. Once all of your tier
Speaker 7: three students are at tier two, tier one, I mean
Speaker 7: our goal is obviously to get them to Tier one.
Speaker 7: Then we're out. You know, we look at other we
Speaker 7: you know, we have a wait list and we move
Speaker 7: on to the next school districts that need that support.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So while you're so you're going into the school, but
Speaker 2: but you've got staff also going into the school.
Speaker 6: And so the staff great staff.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they stay at that Yeah, they're there every
Speaker 2: year for the process.
Speaker 1: They're there every day.
Speaker 7: And our staff work with anywhere from one to twelve
Speaker 7: students in a day, and you know, and it's really
Speaker 7: providing safety and regulation training and all of that so
Speaker 7: that the students getting it and the staff are getting it,
Speaker 7: so that they're learning those skills so that we can
Speaker 7: then we have an exit plan and we are trying
Speaker 7: to get out. So it used to take us one
Speaker 7: to three years to get out of a school district.
Speaker 7: We now can get out of a school in as
Speaker 7: little as three to six months with the staff. So
Speaker 7: and we go back to the school once all the
Speaker 7: students have transitioned off. I had a one of my
Speaker 7: amazing staff last year. She had her school. She got
Speaker 7: all of her all of her students were Tier three.
Speaker 7: She had nine students and she got seven of them
Speaker 7: to Tier one and two of them were at Tier two.
Speaker 7: We went back to the district in April and said,
Speaker 7: you know, we should we need to pull her out,
Speaker 7: like you don't need the level of support there anymore.
Speaker 7: We can keep doing stuff, but you're better off putting
Speaker 7: us in one of your other schools in the district
Speaker 7: for the rest of the year to try to shore
Speaker 7: up some of the other issues. Which works great, and
Speaker 7: we're we're constantly on that, and we're taking data all
Speaker 7: the time to see where we're at with that too.
Speaker 2: Do you ever go into a school or a school
Speaker 2: district where you're kind of pleasantly surprised that things maybe
Speaker 2: aren't that bad, like like often like this one's going
Speaker 2: to be kind of easy.
Speaker 1: Often.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that must be nice when that happens.
Speaker 1: Great when it happens. Yeah, I mean, for me, the
Speaker 1: best thing that happens is when I go in and they're.
Speaker 7: Like, tell me how else I can do this, give
Speaker 7: me some other strategies for this, and they want to
Speaker 7: learn because then I'm like, oh, I'm in and out fast,
Speaker 7: you know, because they're going to pick up the strategies
Speaker 7: and I can exit out. And a lot of times
Speaker 7: they're dealing with it where they're texting me or emailing
Speaker 7: me and saying.
Speaker 1: I tried this, I tried this, what else?
Speaker 7: And I'll say how about this, this and this and
Speaker 7: and they're able to work on it in that way
Speaker 7: when they're open to that.
Speaker 1: That's rate.
Speaker 7: When I have to spend a lot of time convincing
Speaker 7: them that it's going to work, it takes more time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, obviously.
Speaker 6: Do you run into that a lot as well? Oh yeah,
Speaker 6: I would imagine.
Speaker 8: Yeah, from the standpoint of those that are working with
Speaker 8: the students, the teachers, the paris, one thing that I hear.
Speaker 7: Is exhaustion, exhaustion all around across the board, for everybody,
Speaker 7: the parents, the kids, the staff.
Speaker 8: What kind of advice do you give people that are
Speaker 8: dealing just in general to deal with that exhaustion or
Speaker 8: to try and help them.
Speaker 7: I think the big thing around exhaustion is that, like,
Speaker 7: we are working ourselves to a state of exhaustion a
Speaker 7: lot of the time, so you know, implementing strategies that
Speaker 7: are going to help significantly with that, making sure that
Speaker 7: you're getting good quality sleep. But I really think it's
Speaker 7: it's you know, giving yourself some downtime too, And a
Speaker 7: lot of people don't. They're so overscheduled and it just happens.
Speaker 7: It's part of your life and everything. So I have
Speaker 7: one of my own personal children, like she signs itself
Speaker 7: up for everything.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then my other child will be.
Speaker 7: Like, that's enough, I've got two nights of stuff. I
Speaker 7: just want to be home and have my time. And
Speaker 7: I'm like, you go, girl, Like she knows her boundaries
Speaker 7: and she sets them and knows that it's too much,
Speaker 7: where's my other one?
Speaker 1: Will?
Speaker 7: You know, over schedule and then she's you know, on
Speaker 7: top of it and everything else. But I also make
Speaker 7: them my own personal children. Like we've meditated since they
Speaker 7: were My littlest I think was eighteen months when I
Speaker 7: started meditating with her, and so we meditate every night
Speaker 7: as a family.
Speaker 1: Wow, my husband sleeps during the meditation. Yeah, I'll sleep
Speaker 1: every night during the meditation. But my girls meditate.
Speaker 7: We meditate every night, and that is part of what
Speaker 7: my youngest daughter will tell you. That is the biggest
Speaker 7: thing that has helped her with quality of sleep, that
Speaker 7: has helped her with her anxiety, and has significantly helped
Speaker 7: her when she starts to feel sad. Oh, So those
Speaker 7: are huge, which you look at the research. I mean honestly,
Speaker 7: the meditation it creates those hormones in the brain that
Speaker 7: help to combat all of those pieces and everything, so
Speaker 7: significantly helps with that. And we're very specific about what
Speaker 7: we're meditating about, whether we're reviewing our day, whether we
Speaker 7: are meditating because we want to think about something that
Speaker 7: we feel happens and we're mentally rehearsing that scenario, whatever
Speaker 7: it is. We're very specific about our meditations.
Speaker 8: Now, do you tell somebody that says, oh, I can't
Speaker 8: meditate everybody, my brain doesn't stop.
Speaker 1: I feel your pain. If you know me that, I'm like, yeah, no,
Speaker 1: I hear that. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Actually we talked about that when I was on your podcast,
Speaker 2: because I hear that all the Timepista.
Speaker 7: Everybody, can you start with very small components of time?
Speaker 1: I have.
Speaker 7: Every one of my students tells me that when I
Speaker 7: start with them, because we start with mindfulness and we
Speaker 7: work up to meditation over time. We have to do
Speaker 7: safety and regulation first, but we get to the meditation
Speaker 7: and kids always students that have said I.
Speaker 1: Can't do this, this is stupid. I don't take it,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 7: And then a couple months later I'm in. They'll be like, doctor,
Speaker 7: b are we going to meditate today? And I'm like, yep,
Speaker 7: we are. So they get in, they get to that
Speaker 7: and they'll say, oh, I really need to meditate today.
Speaker 7: I have a math test and I've got to be
Speaker 7: ready or I've got to, you know, get up in
Speaker 7: front of the class and speak about this project that
Speaker 7: I'm doing. I need to meditate, and I'll be like, okay,
Speaker 7: let's do it, and they get themselves, you know, into
Speaker 7: a point where they really look forward to it, and
Speaker 7: they tell me also, that's one of the biggest things
Speaker 7: that helps their quality of life.
Speaker 1: M hm, that's awesome.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, no, that's excellent. Uh Sarah, And the chat
Speaker 2: room two was asking great question. Can you explain the
Speaker 2: tears you mentioned like tier one tier two?
Speaker 1: Yeah, good question.
Speaker 7: So Tier one is really just a student who might
Speaker 7: be just struggling a little bit in class, having some
Speaker 7: trouble paying attention, maybe talking to their neighbor or blurting
Speaker 7: things out, doing that sort of thing. A Tier two
Speaker 7: kid is probably a student who's getting up and leaving class,
Speaker 7: using a lot of bathroom breaks, maybe refusing to do
Speaker 7: work in the classroom. Those sorts of things, isn't getting
Speaker 7: isn't producing much academically, especially if they are not getting
Speaker 7: one on one support.
Speaker 1: That's a tier two.
Speaker 7: Tier three is your student who's probably not in your
Speaker 7: classroom a lot of the time. It might not be
Speaker 7: in the classroom at all. Those are Tier three kids.
Speaker 7: I tend to get Tier three kids if they are
Speaker 7: physically aggressive. A Tier three kid who is not physically
Speaker 7: aggressive more in shutdown mode and stuff. Sometimes I'll get
Speaker 7: that student, especially if it's if the community around them
Speaker 7: is really invested in getting them to a better point.
Speaker 1: But it really depends on the students.
Speaker 7: So the difference is that students who are physically aggressive
Speaker 7: are obviously disruptive to the school community. Yeah, so that's
Speaker 7: why we get called in so quickly versus the other population.
Speaker 7: We work just as much with the other population, especially
Speaker 7: with parents, but it's not as high a need because
Speaker 7: it's not disrupting and not putting a risk to the
Speaker 7: school community at as a whole.
Speaker 2: Do you have any advice for parents who are dealing
Speaker 2: with this, not obviously not in the school, but parents
Speaker 2: who are dealing with this at home physically aggressive kids.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and they don't know what to do.
Speaker 1: Absolutely, Yeah.
Speaker 7: I mean some big things are you know, does the
Speaker 7: kid feel safe? And do you feel safe? If you
Speaker 7: don't feel safe, then you're not going to be able
Speaker 7: to convey safety to the other person. The stance of safety.
Speaker 7: I talk about that all the time. There's a certain
Speaker 7: way to stand. Your feet are about shoulder with apart,
Speaker 7: your hands are in front of your thumbs are up,
Speaker 7: because that conveys confidence to the other person nonverbally.
Speaker 1: Even though they don't realize that your elbows are.
Speaker 7: Slightly out but not You're not in an arms of
Speaker 7: Kimbo sort of stance because you're not trying to convey authority.
Speaker 7: You're trying to convey safety. So there is a slight
Speaker 7: differentiation with that. You're tilting your head slightly to the left,
Speaker 7: and the reason why is that conveys empathy in lifting
Speaker 7: the chin a little bit, because that also conveys that
Speaker 7: you're paying attention, that you're intentionally attuned.
Speaker 1: So the stance of safety huge.
Speaker 7: Usually if I just move into that stance when I
Speaker 7: have a youth that is, you know, really agitated and
Speaker 7: could be physically agitated destroying property or whatever, they start
Speaker 7: to calm down and they end up usually moving into crying.
Speaker 7: If you're a parent and you're home with your kid
Speaker 7: oftentime and your kid is getting physically aggressive, oftentimes one
Speaker 7: remove the trigger. So if the trigger is I want
Speaker 7: that candy bar. I want that candy bar, and you
Speaker 7: said no, and the candy bar is still on the counter,
Speaker 7: you got to get whatever the trigger is. Same thing
Speaker 7: I want my phone, I want my phone and the
Speaker 7: phone is still sitting on the counter.
Speaker 1: Or I want my Xbox.
Speaker 7: Block it, either physically stand in front of it so
Speaker 7: that they can't see it, or put it away, because
Speaker 7: anytime they see that item, it's gonna they're going to
Speaker 7: trigger again.
Speaker 1: It's just going to re escalate the person over again.
Speaker 7: So get rid of it, you know, provide some sort
Speaker 7: of simple distraction once they start to come down a
Speaker 7: little bit, but you've got to give them a moment
Speaker 7: to come down. If you know your child is not
Speaker 7: going to be physically aggressive towards you, oftentimes a hug
Speaker 7: will bring them out of it because that calms.
Speaker 1: The olympic system.
Speaker 7: So if you're at home, A lot of schools are
Speaker 7: non huggers, so I wouldn't say to do that at school.
Speaker 7: But if you're at home, grab your kid and hug them,
Speaker 7: or say do you need a hug? Do you just
Speaker 7: need a hug right now? And you know, pull them
Speaker 7: in and give them a hug. And usually then you
Speaker 7: can say, hey, you know, let's let's go do something,
Speaker 7: distract them for a minute, and then say what are
Speaker 7: some solutions, what are some things we can do differently
Speaker 7: and move them forward from that.
Speaker 1: Water is also a great remedy for this.
Speaker 6: Oh I remember you talking about this.
Speaker 7: Get them at the tub, get them in the shower,
Speaker 7: you know, if they're open to that. You know, water
Speaker 7: will help to de escalate them for sure as far
Speaker 7: as that stuff goes. So get them, you know, involved
Speaker 7: in water somehow you can get them to do that.
Speaker 1: But comfort items work really well too.
Speaker 7: If you can't get them into a shower, get a
Speaker 7: blanket and put it over them or something like that.
Speaker 7: Or help them get to a smaller, more confined space.
Speaker 7: If they're standing in the living room and that's your
Speaker 7: biggest room of the house, they're going to keep screaming
Speaker 7: and yelling and having big motions because the space is big.
Speaker 1: Their body has to fill the space.
Speaker 6: That makes sense, Okay.
Speaker 7: Get them into the kitchen, in the bathroom, wherever. Get
Speaker 7: them into a smaller space. That will help significantly.
Speaker 1: Okay, So the.
Speaker 7: More you can shrink the space and more safe they're
Speaker 7: going to feel. Yeah, you know, at schools, I'll often
Speaker 7: be like I'll say to the kid, I'll like, just
Speaker 7: point under the table, you know, and they'll just move
Speaker 7: under the table, and then I'll hand them a blanket.
Speaker 7: And then after a few minutes, I'll say, you ready
Speaker 7: to come out, and we'll do a focus activity and
Speaker 7: then I get them back onto the academics and the
Speaker 7: same thing works really well at home. Like I'll you know,
Speaker 7: you can say to them, you know, you want to go,
Speaker 7: you know, into a cabinet or something like that. Like
Speaker 7: all kids love that secret room, right concept, I want to.
Speaker 1: Build a secret room.
Speaker 7: You'll just be like, open the cabinet, pull out the
Speaker 7: you know, pull out your dishes and stuff for a second,
Speaker 7: be like, won't you go in there for a moment,
Speaker 7: you know, and they'll feel, they'll regroup, and then they
Speaker 7: come out and.
Speaker 1: Then you can do some processing with them. It's really good.
Speaker 7: You need to do processing with them so that you
Speaker 7: can talk about what they can do better the next time,
Speaker 7: because you certainly don't want a twenty five year old
Speaker 7: crawling into a cabinet when they get upset, right, Not
Speaker 7: that that would I haven't heard any stories of that happening.
Speaker 2: But yeah, we don't even like it when our cats
Speaker 2: crawl into our cabinets.
Speaker 6: But maybe that's why they, you know, because they like.
Speaker 1: They like faces.
Speaker 7: This is the same reason why dogs like small confined
Speaker 7: spaces everything too. I mean, it's you know, I have
Speaker 7: a lot of kids who will go into their beds
Speaker 7: when they don't feel safe, they go under their beds.
Speaker 1: You know that.
Speaker 7: And I'll tell parents make it as a safe place.
Speaker 7: If they're feeling stressed or you can see that they're
Speaker 7: starting to get agitated, say hey, why don't you go
Speaker 7: lan under your bed for a little bit. Here's some
Speaker 7: here's some coloring, or here's some this to do. Teens
Speaker 7: do it with clothing typically, so if they're getting stressed
Speaker 7: and they're starting to get agitated with you, handam a sweatshirt.
Speaker 1: Okay, so they put the hood up, yeah yeah.
Speaker 7: Or Hannama winter hat so you can put the hat
Speaker 7: on something like that. You know, that's why people love
Speaker 7: to wear hats. It feel safer, get them on and everything.
Speaker 7: It helps to stimulate that vagus nerve and also helps
Speaker 7: to feel more confined, so they feel a little bit safer.
Speaker 1: Everything that makes sense.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, doctor B. The time goes so quickly. We're
Speaker 2: already we're already approaching the top of the hour. So
Speaker 2: I want to make sure before we run out of
Speaker 2: time that our listeners know how to reach you, how
Speaker 2: to learn more about the behavior boot camp and the
Speaker 2: podcast of course, and anything else you want to make
Speaker 2: sure everybody knows about.
Speaker 7: Yeah, so the easiest way to get a hold of
Speaker 7: us is going to Wwwthbehavior boot camp dot COM's and
Speaker 7: we're also on the social media platforms under that name
Speaker 7: is Well and Everything we'd love to see. We hold
Speaker 7: the free webinar every Thursday, and usually one of our staff,
Speaker 7: one of our Behaviors actually manset. So if you're having
Speaker 7: challenges at home, if you're having challenges at school, whatever
Speaker 7: it may be, feel free to go onto our website,
Speaker 7: sign up for that webinar and jump on and beaviists
Speaker 7: will help get you through some of those things, and
Speaker 7: they'll also give you some strategies so they have a
Speaker 7: planned content for that time. But that's really for people
Speaker 7: who are struggling with certain scenarios that need to work
Speaker 7: through things.
Speaker 6: Excellent, excellent.
Speaker 2: By the way, I do want to read this comment
Speaker 2: to Angela posted I've learned through Behavior boot Camp how
Speaker 2: body stance it's so important. Had no idea how much
Speaker 2: body language can speak so much louder than words.
Speaker 1: Oh thank you so much, Angelo, Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely absolutely thank you for that, Angela.
Speaker 6: Very good well, doctor b.
Speaker 1: It's always a pleasure, it's always great to be here.
Speaker 1: Thanks so much for having me you guys, it's good
Speaker 1: to see you both.
Speaker 6: We really appreciate you.
Speaker 2: And uh, Jenny before we go too, you want to
Speaker 2: plug your website and.
Speaker 6: Remind everybody of what you're doing.
Speaker 7: Yeah, coming with Yeah, shout out, shout out much.
Speaker 8: You can go to coffee dot com, j E N
Speaker 8: N C O F f EI dot com. Check out
Speaker 8: on my artwork, keep up with my activism.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 8: Looking forward to writing up what it was like going
Speaker 8: to the White House to speak next week.
Speaker 1: Yeah, big things, big things coming.
Speaker 8: Don't forget to check out the Mosaic Art Collective right
Speaker 8: here in the Queens City where I'm proud to have
Speaker 8: one of my pieces on display right now, and it's
Speaker 8: not too late. I think today's the leadline deadline to
Speaker 8: get in for the Spellbuying spell Bound Art show next
Speaker 8: month at the Mosaic Art Collective.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, absolutely, Uh, doctor b thank you again, and
Speaker 2: of course thank you to Jam Tomorrow for joining us
Speaker 2: in the second hour. And of course we had Adam
Speaker 2: from Everfelt. Oh, I'm sorry we had Jam Tomorrow in
Speaker 2: the first hour. Adam in the second hour from ever Felt.
Speaker 6: Yes, yes, and.
Speaker 2: We will leave you with as promised, So I'm going
Speaker 2: to play the entire song because I love it so much.
Speaker 2: Falling into place by jam tomorrow, and if you misten
Speaker 2: any part of today's show, it will be up in
Speaker 2: just a little bit at wmnhradio dot org at my
Speaker 2: website Matt Connorton dot com, and we'll.
Speaker 6: Talk to you all a little bit later.
Speaker 9: By everybody, bye bye.
Speaker 10: And I feel like things are falling into place, and
Speaker 10: I feel like it's the end of the Red Queen's races,
Speaker 10: and I feel like the stars.
Speaker 11: Are gunna change because I feel like this was all just.
Speaker 5: Rearray. As we move from hugs.
Speaker 10: And hands shakes, we must remember how our souls as
Speaker 10: we move from confidant to confidet, we must remember how
Speaker 10: our souls pay re But I feel like things are
Speaker 10: falling its legs and I feel like it's the end
Speaker 10: of the Red Queen's Reggae, and A feel like the
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Speaker 10: all just.
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Speaker 5: Split up. Its to them and us.
Speaker 10: Aside seating on the bars on the bus.
Speaker 5: But I feel like things are falling its place, and
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Speaker 10: Raiders, and I feel like the stars, like the stars.
Speaker 5: A gout of shade, because I feel like this was
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Speaker 10: As our lives get along, separated.
Speaker 5: Well we wish they weren't so as things get.
Speaker 12: More complicated, well we wish we could just know, just know.
Speaker 12: But I feel like things are falling into please and
Speaker 12: I feel like it's the.
Speaker 5: End of the Red Queen's Reggie.
Speaker 10: And A feel like the stars are gonna change.
Speaker 5: Because I feel like this was all.
Speaker 10: Just preer Range, and I feel like things aren't falling
Speaker 10: its places, and I like it's the end of the
Speaker 10: Red Queen's Rage. And I feel like the stars, like
Speaker 10: the stars are gonna change because I feel like this
Speaker 10: was all.
Speaker 5: Just preer Range, I.
Speaker 10: Said, I feel like this was Ullus freer Range.
Speaker 5: You're listening to you and.
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