Matt Connarton Unleashed: Dr. Bethany Bilodeau (9/24)

0:00 Speaker 1: W MNH will rip the novels. Welcome back everybody. We

0:05 Speaker 1: have entered our number three New Marrow trace of Matt

0:08 Speaker 1: Connorton unleashed and we are live from the studios of

0:12 Speaker 1: w m n H ninety five point three FM in

0:15 Speaker 1: Glorious Manchester, New Hampshire. Today is Saturday, September twenty eight,

0:20 Speaker 1: twenty twenty four. Jenny is here, of course at the

0:23 Speaker 1: news table, president and account of four and joining us

0:26 Speaker 1: in the studio this morning. We have making her third appearance,

0:29 Speaker 1: as we figured out on the on the program, Doctor

0:32 Speaker 1: Bethany billideohs here, Welcome.

0:33 Speaker 2: Back, Thanks so much. I'm so happy to be here.

0:37 Speaker 2: I'm shooting for the five.

0:38 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, you get to that five dimmers club. You

0:41 Speaker 1: get What do we what do we give guests who

0:44 Speaker 1: uh we can't afford to give them clap a jacket?

0:47 Speaker 3: We'll give a hand fanning ovation. I think our undying gratitude.

0:52 Speaker 1: I think we should do five hand claps when that happens,

0:55 Speaker 1: you're pushing it. Well, I just think that, you know,

0:57 Speaker 1: come on, that's five she get five hand clap?

1:00 Speaker 4: All right?

1:00 Speaker 5: I kind of see a point there that doesn't make.

1:02 Speaker 1: Sense and they should be enthusiastic to.

1:04 Speaker 5: Give them an extra one for good luck, no.

1:08 Speaker 1: Work, there are rules.

1:10 Speaker 5: I don't like rules.

1:12 Speaker 1: Somebody an extra handclap, that's absurd, breaking.

1:14 Speaker 4: The law, breaking the law. Figure it out, Kenny, you

1:17 Speaker 4: can figure where around.

1:20 Speaker 5: That's right, tell me no, sneak.

1:23 Speaker 1: One in, boy, I'll tell you. Uh doctor b you congratulations.

1:30 Speaker 1: First of all, you just won yet another award.

1:33 Speaker 4: They did. I didn't know we were nominated for it, but.

1:37 Speaker 1: Oh, that's the best. That often to Jenny and I

1:40 Speaker 1: once remember when we got in a certificated.

1:43 Speaker 2: That is awesome when it happens, because it's like surprise,

1:45 Speaker 2: you got this and you didn't even exist.

1:47 Speaker 4: On the back. Yeah, yeah, I got mine on the wall.

1:50 Speaker 1: Jenny and I got. Jenny and I got an award

1:52 Speaker 1: once emailed to us from somebody like a great Broadcaster award.

1:58 Speaker 4: Yeah, awesome, I got one the wall like that.

2:02 Speaker 1: Did you frame yours?

2:02 Speaker 4: I did?

2:03 Speaker 1: Yes, Mine's in my email still this kind of random thing.

2:12 Speaker 4: She use them as wallpaper.

2:13 Speaker 1: She does. She has many awards. She has many awards,

2:17 Speaker 1: But you have many awards. How many awards have you

2:19 Speaker 1: wont now?

2:19 Speaker 4: I honestly don't know.

2:21 Speaker 5: Yeah, that's a good problem to have no clue.

2:26 Speaker 2: Most of the awards are like, yay, nice job, doctor b.

2:29 Speaker 2: You came in first for the best costume on Halloween

2:32 Speaker 2: at that elementary school that you worked at that day,

2:35 Speaker 2: or you ran the fastest to get in front of

2:37 Speaker 2: that kid or something like that. Right, those kind of

2:40 Speaker 2: awards and awards an award, You're right, I like those

2:43 Speaker 2: awards the best, though, to be honest.

2:44 Speaker 1: We'll tell us about this newest one. And you said

2:46 Speaker 1: you didn't know you were even nominated.

2:48 Speaker 4: I didn't know. It's on social equity, this one.

2:50 Speaker 2: So it's for a leader in the field that has

2:54 Speaker 2: really promoted social equity for both their customers as well

2:57 Speaker 2: as their employees and has improved quality of life and

3:00 Speaker 2: those sorts of things.

3:01 Speaker 4: Okay, so it'll be great.

3:02 Speaker 2: We have a we're going to the awards ceremony in

3:05 Speaker 2: a couple of weeks and a lot of our employees

3:07 Speaker 2: are attending it with us, and which will be really awesome.

3:10 Speaker 4: We're looking forward to that. It'll be a neat experience

3:12 Speaker 4: for us all.

3:13 Speaker 1: Now, So who awarded you the award?

3:16 Speaker 4: It's Business New Hampshire, I believe.

3:17 Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, nice, So talk to us about social equity,

3:22 Speaker 1: So what does this mean and why are they giving

3:24 Speaker 1: you this award?

3:25 Speaker 2: So a big part of it is really about like we,

3:27 Speaker 2: as you know, we work with at risk youth and

3:29 Speaker 2: for the listeners that are on that don't know that,

3:31 Speaker 2: we work with youth that are really marginalized, and we

3:35 Speaker 2: tend to run large alternative education programs within school districts,

3:40 Speaker 2: or we come into school districts and we train them

3:43 Speaker 2: on how to work with particular students that may be struggling.

3:47 Speaker 2: And because of that, our goal is always to increase

3:51 Speaker 2: their social value. So we spend a lot of time

3:54 Speaker 2: helping to facilitate peer relationships, helping to establish healthier relationships

3:59 Speaker 2: between them and the adults that they're working with within

4:02 Speaker 2: their schools and within their communities, and really improve their

4:05 Speaker 2: social value over time. So that that's very relevant. And

4:10 Speaker 2: oftentimes these kids are reintegrated most of the time, more

4:13 Speaker 2: than eighty five percent of the time, these students are

4:15 Speaker 2: reintegrated back into their general education setting and into their communities.

4:19 Speaker 2: And oftentimes these are students that haven't had that luxury

4:23 Speaker 2: of participating in a general education setting in years by

4:27 Speaker 2: the time they get to us. So it's really about

4:30 Speaker 2: getting them back to where they can be and have connections,

4:34 Speaker 2: because that's such a huge factor in quality of life, right.

4:37 Speaker 1: Right absolutely, By the way, Sarah Patna is in the

4:41 Speaker 1: chat room and says, let's go for ten. We'll get there,

4:46 Speaker 1: We'll get there.

4:47 Speaker 4: Take a little time, Sarah, you're always back pushing us off.

4:51 Speaker 1: And then and then you'll get ten. Collaps It'll be great.

4:55 Speaker 5: Eleven for good luck.

4:58 Speaker 1: You don't do that.

5:01 Speaker 5: What Tinji tell us.

5:04 Speaker 1: I know you don't want to brag, but you should

5:07 Speaker 1: tell us about the other awards that you've won.

5:09 Speaker 2: So we won just recently, about five or six months ago,

5:13 Speaker 2: we also won an award and Education so for people

5:17 Speaker 2: who have made significant contributions and changes in the world

5:20 Speaker 2: of education. And that's again, you know, due to our

5:23 Speaker 2: work with at risk youth and reintegrating students into the

5:26 Speaker 2: general education setting. And our goal is always to get

5:29 Speaker 2: into a school, give them the skills, teach them what

5:32 Speaker 2: they need to know, and then get out. And we

5:34 Speaker 2: spend a lot of time coaching families to a significant

5:37 Speaker 2: amount of time actually coaching families, okay, and that makes

5:40 Speaker 2: a huge difference. Like it's just such a great thing

5:44 Speaker 2: when you have a parents say we'll teach us something,

5:48 Speaker 2: will we want to and oftentimes they do. They've tried everything,

5:51 Speaker 2: they know. It's just a matter of youth are different today.

5:55 Speaker 2: We're different today. There's so many changes that have happened

5:58 Speaker 2: in the past five to ten years, and the strategies

6:02 Speaker 2: that we used ten twenty years ago don't necessarily work.

6:06 Speaker 2: So it's a matter of just having better strategies that

6:09 Speaker 2: address the actual issues that are going on right And

6:12 Speaker 2: most of the time it really stems down to safety.

6:15 Speaker 2: Feeling safe, feeling regulated. If you don't feel safe, you're

6:18 Speaker 2: not going to take a risk, and so many things

6:22 Speaker 2: in life involve us taking a risk.

6:24 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm curious. I don't know if we talked about

6:27 Speaker 1: this much before. Something specific. You mentioned about strategies that

6:32 Speaker 1: worked ten or twenty years ago that don't necessarily work now.

6:36 Speaker 1: Can you give us some examples of what used to

6:39 Speaker 1: work that doesn't work now and maybe why.

6:42 Speaker 2: Yeah those times, so compliance, that's a big one that

6:45 Speaker 2: doesn't work nowadays. Like that, you know back twenty years ago,

6:49 Speaker 2: you could say, well, if you don't do this, you're

6:51 Speaker 2: going to get in trouble. We're going to either call

6:53 Speaker 2: the police or get the principle in here, or tell

6:55 Speaker 2: your parents or something like that, and there's no fear

6:58 Speaker 2: of that nowadays, isn't And in the fear is really

7:02 Speaker 2: I have to live my life. I've got to be

7:05 Speaker 2: able to post something on social media that one of

7:08 Speaker 2: my other peers is going to think is cool. Otherwise

7:10 Speaker 2: I have no social value. It's gonna reduce me. You know,

7:13 Speaker 2: those are really the concerns that youth are having today,

7:17 Speaker 2: much more so than you know, an authority figure coming

7:20 Speaker 2: in and providing something, because there's know that there's no

7:23 Speaker 2: real power behind that. Oh that's interesting, So there that

7:26 Speaker 2: is not a concern. Like you know, I'll always tell schools.

7:29 Speaker 2: They'll be like, oh, we're.

7:30 Speaker 4: Gonna this is happening.

7:31 Speaker 2: We're gonna call the police, and I'll be like, just

7:33 Speaker 2: give me a few minutes and let me see if

7:34 Speaker 2: I can, you know, get this situation turned around before

7:38 Speaker 2: we go down that road. Because once you call the

7:40 Speaker 2: police once or twice, that's it. Right the next time

7:43 Speaker 2: they come in and they're gonna be hey, what's up,

7:45 Speaker 2: you know, right right to the officers. So you know,

7:49 Speaker 2: don't use that as a threat because it's it's really

7:52 Speaker 2: not a threat at this point.

7:53 Speaker 1: But why did that used to work?

7:55 Speaker 2: I think because we did have that concern and that fear.

7:59 Speaker 2: The way we were rares created that. I think kids

8:02 Speaker 2: are much more knowledgeable about those things nowadays. They're much

8:05 Speaker 2: more desensitized to it because they're so overexposed to so

8:09 Speaker 2: many things, and they also know what the results of

8:11 Speaker 2: it are. They know if a police officer comes in,

8:14 Speaker 2: what they can do, what they can't do, And they

8:17 Speaker 2: didn't have that awareness.

8:18 Speaker 4: Yeah, ten or twenty years ago.

8:20 Speaker 2: They're very over stimulated, oversaturated to things that are going

8:24 Speaker 2: on in their world, and that's made a huge difference

8:26 Speaker 2: in how they interact.

8:28 Speaker 4: They feel on.

8:30 Speaker 2: Edge, a little fearful all the time, but most people do.

8:33 Speaker 2: I will say that that's true of most individuals, not

8:37 Speaker 2: just youth, and so feeling safe enough to be able

8:41 Speaker 2: to do something that's a little different or out of

8:43 Speaker 2: their comfort zone, it takes a big step. So you've

8:45 Speaker 2: got to get them to feel safe first and then

8:48 Speaker 2: give them some strategies to help them regulate and that

8:51 Speaker 2: sort of thing. So many of us are like, you know,

8:53 Speaker 2: we're constantly looking for something else to do or something

8:56 Speaker 2: to get upset over because we're so used to feeling

8:59 Speaker 2: that way, been conditioned to feel that way so much

9:02 Speaker 2: of the time that sometimes when we don't feel that way,

9:05 Speaker 2: it feels almost boring. It's not raging enough for the brains. So,

9:10 Speaker 2: you know, teaching yourself that there's good things in the calmness,

9:14 Speaker 2: that your body has time to heal, you have time

9:17 Speaker 2: to you know, get yourself into a better state of

9:20 Speaker 2: mind and everything else.

9:21 Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, Elizabeth England in the Facebook live chat uh

9:27 Speaker 1: says in social media wasn't so important. Yeah, I mean, well,

9:30 Speaker 1: twenty years ago, we didn't even have well, I don't know,

9:32 Speaker 1: I guess we I guess we did twenty years ago, right,

9:34 Speaker 1: we had, we did, we had my stay. I don't

9:36 Speaker 1: know about it.

9:37 Speaker 2: Many people were really on social media though, are paying

9:40 Speaker 2: as close attention to it now as they did it,

9:43 Speaker 2: you know back in you know, twenty years ago versus now.

9:47 Speaker 4: I mean now, it's a huge thing.

9:48 Speaker 2: Especially I'm with kids they have you know, in schools,

9:52 Speaker 2: they are a little bit more careful about the phones,

9:53 Speaker 2: but if I'm in their homes, they have no qualms

9:56 Speaker 2: in the middle of talking with me, taking it out

9:57 Speaker 2: and checking something on their phone or texting someone or

10:00 Speaker 2: doing you know, doing a snapchat real quick or something

10:03 Speaker 2: like that. It's just commonplace. Yeah, and it's it is

10:06 Speaker 2: how they interact with each other nowadays. If you look

10:09 Speaker 2: at teens, they are all sitting together, but they're not

10:11 Speaker 2: really talking to each other, and they're all got their

10:13 Speaker 2: phones out and they're you know, communicating through that and

10:17 Speaker 2: they're reading each other's snapchat. They're like the snapchat, the

10:19 Speaker 2: pictures coming up and they're looking at it and it's

10:21 Speaker 2: their friend that's sitting two seats down.

10:23 Speaker 5: Yeah.

10:23 Speaker 4: Yeah, Yeah, it's funny.

10:27 Speaker 1: Our friend Ricky Mapleton, who's very funny. He does he's

10:31 Speaker 1: a musician, but he does these comedy songs and he

10:34 Speaker 1: has one we played it on the show. It's got

10:37 Speaker 1: a long title, something like shoot me an email while

10:41 Speaker 1: I'm standing right in front of you, and it's about

10:44 Speaker 1: that kind of thing. Yeah, yes, what do you do?

10:48 Speaker 1: So how do you And this might be useful for

10:51 Speaker 1: parents or anyone who's dealing with with kids, Well hopefully

10:55 Speaker 1: this entire conversation is, but something specific I'm wondering about.

10:59 Speaker 1: So what do you do? How do you address that

11:01 Speaker 1: when that exact scenario, you know, you're you're talking to

11:03 Speaker 1: a kid, and right in the middle of the conversation

11:06 Speaker 1: they just switch to me seems I mean, how rude, right,

11:09 Speaker 1: But to them it's like I guess some some of

11:11 Speaker 1: them they just don't even.

11:12 Speaker 2: It's part of the social norm or it is part

11:15 Speaker 2: of the social norm of what's going on today. So

11:17 Speaker 2: for me personally, I just try to be way more

11:21 Speaker 2: engaging than what's going on on their device. So that

11:24 Speaker 2: oftentimes means that I'm either acting things out, or I'm

11:27 Speaker 2: using silly voices, or I'm doing whatever, or I'm saying

11:30 Speaker 2: something shocking or whatever it is. But my role is

11:33 Speaker 2: really to engage. So because if I can't engage, I

11:36 Speaker 2: can't change behavior. So I spend a lot of time

11:40 Speaker 2: trying to do something that is a little bit out

11:42 Speaker 2: of the ordinary to get their attention. And oftentimes I'm

11:45 Speaker 2: so focused on them in giving them so much feedback

11:49 Speaker 2: that they're almost uncomfortable taking it out at times.

11:51 Speaker 1: Oh really, they'll.

11:52 Speaker 2: Take it out, but they'll be like, well, I'm just

11:54 Speaker 2: doing this, and I'll be like, oh, show me I

11:56 Speaker 2: want to see. I don't know anything about social media,

11:58 Speaker 2: show me how to do that. And then I'll be like, Okay,

12:00 Speaker 2: this is now a lesson for you, you know, and

12:03 Speaker 2: I try to engage them with the item if I

12:06 Speaker 2: can't engage them in another way.

12:07 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah.

12:08 Speaker 2: I also recommend to parents a lot, like have your

12:10 Speaker 2: kids take social media breaks and do the same. You know,

12:13 Speaker 2: if you guys are going away for a day or

12:15 Speaker 2: you know, a weekend or something, take a break, you know,

12:18 Speaker 2: to leave your phones at home or use it only

12:21 Speaker 2: at specific times. You know, do things like that because

12:24 Speaker 2: that will really help all of you interact on a

12:28 Speaker 2: much larger level and have some conversations that are more

12:31 Speaker 2: in depth and fun conversations about things you want. Like

12:34 Speaker 2: with my daughters, I'll be like a perfect Saturday. Tell

12:37 Speaker 2: me what a perfect Saturday would be. You know.

12:39 Speaker 4: My eleven year old would say, you take me shopping

12:42 Speaker 4: and then for ice cream and we do all these

12:44 Speaker 4: fabulous things.

12:45 Speaker 2: But you know, so just doing things like that where

12:48 Speaker 2: you're getting to know them a little bit better, yeah,

12:51 Speaker 2: makes a huge difference. But I used to My boys

12:54 Speaker 2: are adults now, but I used to ask my boys

12:55 Speaker 2: to take social media vacations and stuff like that, and

12:58 Speaker 2: I would they would actually take the social media platforms

13:01 Speaker 2: off their phones, like they would delete that. Oh wow,

13:03 Speaker 2: for periods of time, oh and everything. Usually it was

13:06 Speaker 2: a result of doing something on social media that wasn't fabulous, right,

13:12 Speaker 2: but that would be but we would get to know

13:14 Speaker 2: each other so much better during that time period when

13:17 Speaker 2: they didn't have it on their phones because they didn't

13:18 Speaker 2: really have the desire to text and do that sort

13:21 Speaker 2: of thing. That's not how youth communicate now. It's usually

13:24 Speaker 2: through snapchatter, Instagram or something. They would, you know, so

13:27 Speaker 2: they would have conversations and behold.

13:31 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, how big of a problem is this in schools?

13:35 Speaker 1: Because something something that I wonder about is how do

13:37 Speaker 1: schools Even I guess every school system must have their own.

13:43 Speaker 4: It is all a little different on how they deal

13:45 Speaker 4: with it. Yeah, I mean, I.

13:46 Speaker 1: Mean, I've heard of schools where they have the like

13:48 Speaker 1: where the students walk in and they actually take their

13:50 Speaker 1: phones their band they put them in some sort of

13:52 Speaker 1: lock box until the end of the day or something.

13:54 Speaker 2: There are some schools that have done that too, And

13:56 Speaker 2: there's a lot of schools have that have worked really

13:58 Speaker 2: hard to get responsibly use and if that's violated, then

14:03 Speaker 2: there's consequences for the violations and so on and so forth.

14:06 Speaker 2: The problem with the phones, is that it really on

14:09 Speaker 2: a brain level. When you're looking at the brain, it

14:12 Speaker 2: wears out the dopamine receptors, So then you're checking it

14:15 Speaker 2: more often, you're doing it, you know, and then you're like,

14:19 Speaker 2: I can't get that feedback from it, So then they're

14:22 Speaker 2: looking up more and more shocking things. Over time, it's

14:26 Speaker 2: just pushing them to have more and more of that

14:28 Speaker 2: intense feedback, which isn't real life a lot of the time.

14:32 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, if you are just joining us, we're talking

14:35 Speaker 1: with doctor Bethany Bilido, doctor b as she is like

14:40 Speaker 1: to she likes to be called from, of course, out

14:42 Speaker 1: of the behavior boot Camp. And we're just gonna take

14:45 Speaker 1: a very quick break. I'm actually gonna have I'm gonna

14:48 Speaker 1: play a little something and we're gonna have you switch

14:50 Speaker 1: to a different microphone because that that microphone isn't sounding

14:54 Speaker 1: quite right and I want to make sure everyone can

14:56 Speaker 1: hear you. So it's not.

14:58 Speaker 4: It's probably user error, he was technology.

15:02 Speaker 2: It's guarantee, it's not.

15:05 Speaker 1: It's not you, I promise, Uh, but uh, we'll be

15:09 Speaker 1: right back. We're gonna play a little jam tomorrow and

15:11 Speaker 1: we'll be right back with doctor b all right, that's

15:17 Speaker 1: a little bit of jam Tomorrow falling into place. Such

15:19 Speaker 1: a great song. We'll play the whole thing at the

15:21 Speaker 1: end of the show, I promise. I love that song

15:23 Speaker 1: so much. But we just wanted to switch our guests

15:26 Speaker 1: to a different microphone. So if you are just joining

15:28 Speaker 1: us here on Matt Connorton Unleashed this morning, we have

15:31 Speaker 1: a doctor Bethany billideo with us live and studio, and

15:35 Speaker 1: let's bring that mic up and let's see how we do.

15:39 Speaker 4: Hello, doctor b Hey, how are you?

15:41 Speaker 1: Oh that sounds better already. I just got to boost

15:43 Speaker 1: the volume a little bit.

15:45 Speaker 2: So Matt said that this microphone never goes down. And

15:49 Speaker 2: you know, those of you that know me and have

15:51 Speaker 2: been at trainings of men, you know that that that's

15:53 Speaker 2: the technology curse with me? Right?

15:57 Speaker 1: Really, have you have you had a technical glitches over there?

16:00 Speaker 2: Everywhere I go, I will say shout out to Bo

16:03 Speaker 2: School District. Whenever I train in Bo School District, all

16:06 Speaker 2: the technology.

16:07 Speaker 4: Always works perfectly.

16:09 Speaker 2: Really, any other district I train in pretty much there's

16:12 Speaker 2: usually some glitch.

16:14 Speaker 1: We shout out to both school district. Then that's excellent.

16:18 Speaker 1: That's excellent. So if you could talk a little bit

16:22 Speaker 1: about the Behavior boot Camp. Obviously, you know, as we said,

16:26 Speaker 1: this is your third time on the show, but for

16:27 Speaker 1: listeners who are just getting to know you for the

16:29 Speaker 1: first time, what is this?

16:31 Speaker 2: So the Behavior boot Camp is really our online platform.

16:34 Speaker 2: We have a course, an online course that's also live.

16:37 Speaker 2: We hold weekly sessions as well through the course, but

16:41 Speaker 2: it's it's a training program that teaches people how to

16:45 Speaker 2: understand and how to teach, and how to recognize when

16:48 Speaker 2: safety is a concern, how regulation is a concern, and

16:52 Speaker 2: those strategies, and then a lot of higher skills like

16:55 Speaker 2: you can't get to the therapeutic parts, you can't get

16:57 Speaker 2: to the the mindfulness, you can't get to the meditation,

17:01 Speaker 2: you can't get to the all of those social emotional learning,

17:04 Speaker 2: all those other pieces until you can address safety and

17:07 Speaker 2: regulation first. So that course teaches it, and it's really

17:10 Speaker 2: simple things like how you're standing, the way you tilt

17:13 Speaker 2: your head, how you're moving into the space with another

17:17 Speaker 2: person so that they feel safe, and how to do

17:19 Speaker 2: those things. And whenever I walk into a school and

17:22 Speaker 2: they'll say, oh, you know, there's a meltdown going on,

17:24 Speaker 2: they'll say, doctor B you know, can you handle that? Absolutely?

17:27 Speaker 2: And I go outside and within two seconds the kids

17:29 Speaker 2: coming in that was taking off into the woods or whatever.

17:31 Speaker 4: They're like, why do you do that so fast?

17:33 Speaker 2: It's not rocket science, it's simple techniques that can be taught.

17:38 Speaker 2: And we really developed this online course because we had

17:42 Speaker 2: a lot of places outside of New England contacting us

17:45 Speaker 2: for support that we really couldn't address the need. And

17:48 Speaker 2: we couldn't address the need of as many school districts

17:51 Speaker 2: that were asking for the support in these alternative ED

17:55 Speaker 2: programs in their schools because of the number of staff

17:58 Speaker 2: that we have YEA and so many parents that we're

18:01 Speaker 2: calling and I'm trying to talk them through on the

18:03 Speaker 2: phone how to do a technique that I was like,

18:05 Speaker 2: we need something that where people can see it. So oftentimes,

18:09 Speaker 2: if we're working with families, we're you know, giving them

18:12 Speaker 2: a membership to the course and that sort of thing

18:14 Speaker 2: so they can learn the skills, so they can see

18:17 Speaker 2: all these techniques and everything else. And we operate on

18:21 Speaker 2: that through social media too. We put out little clips

18:23 Speaker 2: every few days on social media that show different techniques

18:27 Speaker 2: and all of that, because we really feel like we're

18:29 Speaker 2: doing something that's very unique. I've only met a couple

18:32 Speaker 2: of other professionals in the nation that do similar work

18:35 Speaker 2: and their solo shows. So we really feel obligated to

18:41 Speaker 2: give these strategies and techniques to the community at large

18:44 Speaker 2: because a lot of people don't know them and they

18:48 Speaker 2: are very different from traditional, you know, techniques that we're used,

18:53 Speaker 2: and traditional techniques can still work, but they only work

18:56 Speaker 2: with about thirty percent of the population at this point.

18:59 Speaker 1: Okay, so there's nobody else really doing this on this level.

19:04 Speaker 2: No. I know an occupational therapist that does similar somewhat

19:09 Speaker 2: similar work with her students in Massachusetts, and then there's

19:13 Speaker 2: a woman over in California that actually two women who

19:18 Speaker 2: do similar work, but again it's a one on one situation,

19:21 Speaker 2: and one of them's a therapist and the other one

19:24 Speaker 2: is a behaviorist, but she only teaches it through yoga techniques,

19:30 Speaker 2: and that's not what we do. Ours encompasses so much

19:33 Speaker 2: more than just physical maneuvers with the body and everything else.

19:38 Speaker 2: We do a lot that deals with the mind and

19:40 Speaker 2: brain health and mental health and everything else. So our

19:44 Speaker 2: strategies are really proprietary to what we do and how

19:48 Speaker 2: we work with students, but it's how we get results

19:50 Speaker 2: so fast.

19:51 Speaker 1: We do have a question in the chat room, Angela Carter.

19:56 Speaker 1: Angela Griffiths Carter says, how are the book is the

19:59 Speaker 1: Pain in the Classroom and the Behavior boot Camp related?

20:03 Speaker 2: Well, the book actually I wrote the book which is

20:06 Speaker 2: coming out in twenty twenty five.

20:08 Speaker 4: Oh, congratulations, thank you.

20:09 Speaker 2: So that book will be released in twenty twenty five.

20:13 Speaker 2: And I wrote that book as a supplement to the

20:17 Speaker 2: course itself because there's a lot of educators that say,

20:20 Speaker 2: you know, I don't have time to go through the

20:23 Speaker 2: videos on the course. I don't have time to attend

20:25 Speaker 2: the classes, the live classes that you guys hold, So

20:28 Speaker 2: what are my other options? So we certainly don't have

20:31 Speaker 2: as much content in the book as we have in

20:34 Speaker 2: the online course. But the book itself is about sixty

20:37 Speaker 2: thousand words.

20:37 Speaker 4: Which is it's dense.

20:41 Speaker 2: So that is really just a it's an educator's tool

20:45 Speaker 2: to use in the classroom on new strategies on how

20:48 Speaker 2: to use classroom management. So the book is actually eased

20:51 Speaker 2: The Pain a guide to safety and regulation in the

20:55 Speaker 2: classroom so educators can teach.

20:57 Speaker 5: Are you self publishing or going through a publisher?

21:00 Speaker 4: We have a few options.

21:02 Speaker 2: We do have a publisher, but we may end up

21:04 Speaker 2: going the self publishing route because there's a few things

21:08 Speaker 2: that I want to be able to do with the

21:10 Speaker 2: book that we may not be able to do with

21:11 Speaker 2: a publisher. So we're going to make that decision at

21:14 Speaker 2: the end of November. We'll make that decision.

21:17 Speaker 1: Yeah, So the developing that course must have, that must

21:21 Speaker 1: have been quite the undertaking.

21:22 Speaker 4: It was fun.

21:23 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I love to write curriculum, and I

21:26 Speaker 2: write a lot of curriculum. I've written a lot of

21:28 Speaker 2: curriculum for years and years for different organizations and for

21:32 Speaker 2: you know, for different things that I train on and everything.

21:35 Speaker 4: So I love to write curriculum.

21:36 Speaker 2: So I basically just sat down and wrote it in

21:39 Speaker 2: modules of everything people need to know for, you know,

21:42 Speaker 2: to address safety issues. You know, if your kids having

21:44 Speaker 2: a tantrum, what do you do. Well, here's how you

21:46 Speaker 2: determine why they're having the tantrum. And they may not

21:49 Speaker 2: right off the bat, right they're having the tantrum because

21:51 Speaker 2: I didn't give them a candymarter and you know, or

21:55 Speaker 2: whatever it may be. But it talks about how to

21:57 Speaker 2: get them to a point of safety. And then it

21:59 Speaker 2: has all the components on regulation and in the online course,

22:03 Speaker 2: I mean We have tons of information on nutrition and

22:06 Speaker 2: on different things that you can do as far as

22:08 Speaker 2: supplementation brain issues. A lot of people don't realize how

22:14 Speaker 2: many things impact the brain and what's going on with

22:17 Speaker 2: those components. You know, I'll meet a youth that's like

22:20 Speaker 2: really irritable and they'll be like, no, you know, I

22:22 Speaker 2: don't like this certain kid. And I'll say, oh, yeah, why, well,

22:26 Speaker 2: you know, two years ago on the bus he tripped

22:28 Speaker 2: me and so on and so forth, and I'm like, oh, yeah,

22:31 Speaker 2: you're operating in the Limbic party.

22:32 Speaker 4: You're a brain kiddo. Okay, So here's what we need

22:35 Speaker 4: to do.

22:36 Speaker 2: You need more high intensity movement, you need to you know,

22:40 Speaker 2: we need to really look at having more of a

22:42 Speaker 2: higher protein diet, lower carbs, so we're gonna encourage you

22:45 Speaker 2: to eat that when you're at school and.

22:47 Speaker 4: Those sorts of things.

22:48 Speaker 2: But there's some very specific things you can do to

22:50 Speaker 2: support the Olympic part of the brain. And really what

22:52 Speaker 2: that means is the Olympic's getting all the blood flow.

22:55 Speaker 2: Nothing else is getting the blood flow. So if you're

22:57 Speaker 2: asking a kid to learn, or even an adult, if

23:00 Speaker 2: they want to learn something new in the Olympics getting

23:03 Speaker 2: all the blood flow. You don't have anything in your

23:05 Speaker 2: prefrontal cortex. You can't learn, you can't learn new content.

23:09 Speaker 2: So you've got to be able to get brain, you know,

23:11 Speaker 2: blood flow to that front part of the brain. And

23:14 Speaker 2: there's some really simple, simple strategies to do that. And

23:17 Speaker 2: one is you know, high intensity movement and it can

23:20 Speaker 2: be for just a couple seconds, you know, having them

23:21 Speaker 2: pick something up and putting it down a few times

23:24 Speaker 2: before they you know, go into the activity or something.

23:26 Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember you talking about that last time. And

23:29 Speaker 1: you know how you know sometimes that physical activity, a

23:32 Speaker 1: little bit of exercise can really help the brain. It's yeah,

23:37 Speaker 1: as you know, as we talked about on your podcast.

23:39 Speaker 1: I'm a hypnotherapist and something that I really tell all

23:44 Speaker 1: my clients is, you know, if you because very often

23:48 Speaker 1: someone might come to me because they want to stop smoking,

23:51 Speaker 1: or they can't sleep at night or whatever it is,

23:54 Speaker 1: and we always end up talking about their exercise regimen

23:57 Speaker 1: and whether or not they have one, because the reality

24:00 Speaker 1: it is, if you're exercising, everything else will be better.

24:03 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, everything else will be better. It's not just

24:06 Speaker 1: about how you feel physically, it's how you feel emotionally

24:09 Speaker 1: and mentally, your your clarity and everything it all relates.

24:13 Speaker 1: And just that you know, even if it's just walking

24:16 Speaker 1: a little bit each day, that will make there's no

24:19 Speaker 1: way it makes anything worse. It'll make everything better.

24:22 Speaker 4: It's a huge that's the biggest thing.

24:24 Speaker 2: You push those large amino acids into the muscles and

24:26 Speaker 2: you get that blood flow of the front of the brain.

24:28 Speaker 2: It makes a huge difference. My husband will be the

24:30 Speaker 2: first person to say that if I don't exercise at

24:33 Speaker 2: during the day, I am not fit for human consumption

24:37 Speaker 2: is a mean.

24:41 Speaker 4: So you know, you make it part of the lifestyle.

24:43 Speaker 2: But nowadays, because of the structure of households and stuff,

24:47 Speaker 2: a lot of kids don't get a lot of physical

24:49 Speaker 2: movement during the course of the day. So and they're

24:52 Speaker 2: getting pee maybe once a week. I mean, there's some

24:54 Speaker 2: school districts that have it more often, which is great,

24:57 Speaker 2: But even at recess, kids aren't moving all that much there.

25:00 Speaker 2: You know, they may go up and down the slide

25:01 Speaker 2: a couple of times, but they're not breaking a sweat

25:04 Speaker 2: always right right, So and it's not consistent.

25:07 Speaker 4: So yeah, any more of it.

25:10 Speaker 1: And you did talk to you spoke about nutrition and

25:12 Speaker 1: how important that is for the branch. When you're in

25:15 Speaker 1: these school systems, do you see and this this isn't

25:20 Speaker 1: something you probably address with the school system necessarily, I

25:23 Speaker 1: wouldn't think, but do you see issues with what they're

25:28 Speaker 1: serving for lunches in public schools as not being optimum?

25:32 Speaker 4: For for sure? I mean, the school districts are doing

25:35 Speaker 4: the best they can.

25:36 Speaker 2: It's a program, so they're given the items that they're

25:38 Speaker 2: given and they you know, and they have to serve

25:42 Speaker 2: those specific items. It's it's very regimented, but it is

25:45 Speaker 2: not a diet that is conducive to good brain health unfortunately.

25:49 Speaker 2: And there is a common factor that all of my

25:53 Speaker 2: students pretty much I would say ninety nine percent of

25:55 Speaker 2: my student's experience, and it is that they eat a

25:58 Speaker 2: processed Western diet. And when we have the opportunity, we've

26:02 Speaker 2: had the opportunity to change some of our students' diets,

26:05 Speaker 2: and amazing things happen their verbal abilities and improve their

26:09 Speaker 2: behavioral issues, tend to really tend to decrease significant.

26:15 Speaker 4: Changes in mental health.

26:16 Speaker 2: I mean, we see huge changes when we can modify

26:20 Speaker 2: and work with their diets.

26:22 Speaker 4: But that's not enough.

26:23 Speaker 2: I mean you've got a diet is just one piece

26:26 Speaker 2: of the puzzle and everything, and it's hard. I mean, like,

26:29 Speaker 2: I'll be the first one to say that, you know,

26:31 Speaker 2: love I love having ice cream on Friday. I was

26:33 Speaker 2: at a meeting yesterday and I had one of the

26:36 Speaker 2: administrators in the school bought me a donut and I

26:38 Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, this is the best donut

26:41 Speaker 2: I've ever had. Shout out to Brothers Donuts in Franklin,

26:44 Speaker 2: New Hampshire. I was like, this donut is amazing and

26:46 Speaker 2: I love sugar, but you know, I don't have it

26:49 Speaker 2: on a daily basis, And it's you know, I mean,

26:52 Speaker 2: and it's tough because there's so many of those things

26:54 Speaker 2: that help us hit those dopamine receptors, but they don't

26:59 Speaker 2: help us long term. Like they might help us in

27:02 Speaker 2: the short term for a couple of minutes, but they're

27:04 Speaker 2: not going to help us long term, especially not over

27:06 Speaker 2: the long haul.

27:07 Speaker 1: Right Right, People always talk too about and we hear

27:11 Speaker 1: this a lot on the show whenever we discuss social media.

27:14 Speaker 1: I mean, is it is it true that do you

27:16 Speaker 1: find that people's attention spans just generally are much shorter

27:20 Speaker 1: than they used to be?

27:21 Speaker 2: Yes, for sure, And I mean you can see that

27:22 Speaker 2: with social media and stuff too. I mean, you know,

27:25 Speaker 2: not that we've been doing social media stuff for very long.

27:29 Speaker 2: I mean it's been pretty it's pretty short time span.

27:31 Speaker 2: But even since we started stuff a couple of years ago,

27:35 Speaker 2: we've head to shorten the length of time because we

27:37 Speaker 2: don't get engagement if things are as long as they

27:40 Speaker 2: were when we released them two three years ago, no kidding.

27:43 Speaker 1: Yeah, even you can see even over the past couple

27:46 Speaker 1: of years, you can see that difference.

27:48 Speaker 4: Yep.

27:48 Speaker 1: That's amazing and disheartening.

27:51 Speaker 4: Yeah.

27:52 Speaker 2: You think about it back when, like podcasts could be

27:54 Speaker 2: an hour and people would listen to them, right, and

27:57 Speaker 2: certain people will I'll listen to a podcast for an.

27:59 Speaker 1: Hour, sure, yeah, me too, me too.

28:03 Speaker 2: But younger people oftentimes won't.

28:06 Speaker 4: Twenty minutes is the max.

28:08 Speaker 2: I mean right now, we're doing a video podcast series

28:11 Speaker 2: all on our book, and it's twenty minutes max.

28:14 Speaker 4: Like they cut me at twenty minutes.

28:16 Speaker 1: Oh no kidding, Yeah yeah, yep, Oh yeah, that's too bad.

28:21 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, I had another good one, get but

28:23 Speaker 2: I'll just have.

28:24 Speaker 4: To I'll just have to ask you off off of.

28:27 Speaker 1: Right, right, Yeah, if you are just joining us. Doctor

28:31 Speaker 1: Bethany Bilideo is here from the Behavior boot Camp, and

28:36 Speaker 1: somebody had a question. Oh, somebody in the chat room

28:39 Speaker 1: made a comment about drinking water. That's probably another thing too.

28:42 Speaker 1: I guess you could kind of sort of file that

28:44 Speaker 1: under nutrition rot.

28:45 Speaker 2: No, it is, yeah, And I mean I've looked up

28:47 Speaker 2: a lot of the stats on it. I've read a

28:48 Speaker 2: lot a lot of journal articles on water, and it's

28:51 Speaker 2: it's something like more than eighty five percent of the

28:54 Speaker 2: kids that are diagnosed with ADHD are actually severely dehydrated

28:58 Speaker 2: and real times interesting. Yeah, and sometimes if you can

29:01 Speaker 2: increase their ability to consume water, you see that their

29:06 Speaker 2: symptoms decrease significantly.

29:08 Speaker 1: Oh that's interesting. Yeah, that's interesting. Angela said in the

29:11 Speaker 1: chat room, a lot of my students bring sugary snacks

29:14 Speaker 1: to school as they're only nutrition.

29:17 Speaker 4: Yeah, it's unfortunate.

29:19 Speaker 1: Yeah.

29:20 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's some school districts that have great programs as

29:22 Speaker 2: far as providing fruits and vegetables and things like that additionally,

29:26 Speaker 2: so kids can have those at snacks and those sorts

29:28 Speaker 2: of times when when we work with those particular districts,

29:31 Speaker 2: we're really pushing those pieces of it, you know, and saying,

29:35 Speaker 2: oh yeah, save that for later, save that for after school,

29:38 Speaker 2: and that sort of thing, because you see it too.

29:40 Speaker 2: I mean, if you have something super sugary and then

29:42 Speaker 2: they're going into a class, they're not going to be

29:44 Speaker 2: able to be appropriately or even optimally to learn.

29:48 Speaker 1: Right right. I feel like we have a much much

29:51 Speaker 1: broader problem in our culture too, with just I don't

29:55 Speaker 1: understand why. You know, It's like you come into the

29:58 Speaker 1: world and it seems like, right out of the gate,

30:02 Speaker 1: everybody around you, like all these people who love you,

30:05 Speaker 1: your family and everyone you know, they can't wait to

30:08 Speaker 1: just fill you up with sugar and things that cause

30:11 Speaker 1: diabetes and junk food. It's strange, you know. It's like,

30:15 Speaker 1: you know, you have your first birthday and here here's cake. Yeah,

30:19 Speaker 1: you know, it's it's it's bizarre if you really think

30:21 Speaker 1: about it logically, like why do we do that?

30:24 Speaker 4: Yeah? A lot of our celebrations revolve around food. Yeah,

30:28 Speaker 4: stuff like that.

30:28 Speaker 1: We're all taught. We're taught from a very young age

30:32 Speaker 1: that all these things that are so terrible for you

30:35 Speaker 1: eat this.

30:36 Speaker 4: Yeah.

30:36 Speaker 2: Well, you think back to antiquity, I mean when people

30:41 Speaker 2: were starving and in a state of starvation and going

30:45 Speaker 2: days and days on time not able to find food.

30:48 Speaker 4: The quickest energy source was sugar. Yep, So anything with sugar.

30:52 Speaker 2: Sugar has become this you know, celebratory item because of that.

30:58 Speaker 2: I think, you know, over time and and we still

31:00 Speaker 2: view it that way.

31:01 Speaker 4: I mean, you have sugar.

31:02 Speaker 1: I like, right, yeah, it's uh, yeah, it's frustrating. What

31:10 Speaker 1: what's the single biggest issue you see in schools? I

31:15 Speaker 1: know it's kind of a broad question, but I mean,

31:17 Speaker 1: is there is there something that really stands out that

31:19 Speaker 1: that you that you see consistently in every school system

31:22 Speaker 1: you go into.

31:22 Speaker 2: So for me, because I'm called in because a student

31:27 Speaker 2: is probably physically aggressive, so that's what I see. Yeah,

31:32 Speaker 2: but that's the reason I'm being asked to come in.

31:34 Speaker 2: So I do a lot of Tier one, Tier two trainings,

31:36 Speaker 2: and those are kids that are not aggressive but might

31:39 Speaker 2: be refusing. I think the refusals are huge, refusing to participate,

31:44 Speaker 2: so they're walking out.

31:46 Speaker 1: So kids, so kids who aren't violent, they're just they're

31:48 Speaker 1: just saying I'm just not gonna Yeah.

31:50 Speaker 4: I mean, I'm doing that for professional development wise.

31:52 Speaker 2: That's what I'm training on most of the time because

31:55 Speaker 2: usually if they have a kid who's physically aggressive, they're

31:58 Speaker 2: referring them to an organization such as mine that specializes

32:02 Speaker 2: in working with kids like that. And I'm not necessarily

32:05 Speaker 2: training the school staff to deal with that. Sometimes i

32:08 Speaker 2: am because there aren't agencies available to deal with those

32:12 Speaker 2: sorts of challenges. But it's probably the refusal and the

32:16 Speaker 2: avoidance is the big one that is getting reported, and

32:20 Speaker 2: those are simple things to address. I mean typically right now,

32:24 Speaker 2: you think about from a learning perspective, how do people

32:28 Speaker 2: learn nowadays? Well, we can learn through repetition. Most individuals

32:32 Speaker 2: hate that.

32:32 Speaker 4: It sucks.

32:34 Speaker 2: We can learn through things that are super super engaging,

32:39 Speaker 2: or we can learn through things that are new novel.

32:41 Speaker 4: So the easiest way to.

32:44 Speaker 2: Engage, you know, students at this point is really to

32:47 Speaker 2: either make it new, present the materials so it's new,

32:50 Speaker 2: or make it super engaging. Those two things. Because most

32:53 Speaker 2: kids won't do repetition. You do still have some students

32:56 Speaker 2: that will engage in repetition, but that's you think back

32:59 Speaker 2: to your own school experiences, it's probably a lot through repetition.

33:03 Speaker 2: I know mine was a lot through repetition, right you know,

33:06 Speaker 2: And I'd be writing it and be like a squirrel

33:08 Speaker 2: do do you know?

33:10 Speaker 4: Sort of things.

33:10 Speaker 2: So I had some great teachers, but I was not

33:13 Speaker 2: a great student so at all. And I think I'm

33:17 Speaker 2: in this field because I feel for kids. I know

33:20 Speaker 2: it's tough. I you know, I knew every hiding place

33:23 Speaker 2: in my elementary school. They'd say, you know, Bethany, you

33:26 Speaker 2: need to go up to the library, the creepy library

33:29 Speaker 2: and work up there. It was like one of those

33:31 Speaker 2: weird like the ceilings were only like seven feet tall.

33:34 Speaker 2: Oh really, and so it was really it was a

33:36 Speaker 2: strange space. So they'd be like, go upstairs and work,

33:39 Speaker 2: and I would just hide under one of the water

33:41 Speaker 2: fountains or in one of the cabinets going up there

33:44 Speaker 2: or something. And then eventually I'd go back to class

33:46 Speaker 2: and they'd be like, did you work up the Oh yeah,

33:48 Speaker 2: I worked.

33:48 Speaker 4: Up the right right.

33:51 Speaker 1: Oh wow, that's funny. How many uh, I know, we

33:57 Speaker 1: talked about this before and I was surprised at how

33:59 Speaker 1: long charge to the number ones? But how many school

34:01 Speaker 1: districts are you working with it at any given time?

34:04 Speaker 2: So we tend to focus on twelve in a year primarily,

34:09 Speaker 2: but I personally work with about twenty to twenty five

34:14 Speaker 2: during a school year. So my reach is a little

34:16 Speaker 2: bit different because I do so much professional development and

34:19 Speaker 2: I do I train about I do about one hundred

34:22 Speaker 2: trainings a year. So I'm in a lot more schools

34:25 Speaker 2: than my staff are in because they're they're in the

34:27 Speaker 2: same schools every day, Whereas I'm going in and either

34:30 Speaker 2: doing professional development or I'm writing an assessment on a

34:33 Speaker 2: student that's struggling or something like that, and then or

34:35 Speaker 2: I'm doing a parent training and then I'm out and

34:38 Speaker 2: I'm onto a different in a different school and that

34:40 Speaker 2: sort of thing. So my time is very short. Okay, schools,

34:44 Speaker 2: so and we rotate, We don't stay in the same

34:46 Speaker 2: schools every year. Like we really look at it as

34:48 Speaker 2: we need an exit plan. Once all of your tier

34:52 Speaker 2: three students are at tier two, tier one, I mean,

34:55 Speaker 2: our goal is obviously to get them to tier one.

34:58 Speaker 4: Then we're out. You know, we look at other you know,

35:00 Speaker 4: we have a wait.

35:00 Speaker 2: List and we move on to the next school districts

35:03 Speaker 2: that need that support.

35:04 Speaker 1: Yeah. So while you're so you're going into the school,

35:08 Speaker 1: but but you've got staff also going into the school,

35:11 Speaker 1: and so the staff great staff. Yeah, and they stay

35:14 Speaker 1: at that Yeah, they're there every week for the for

35:17 Speaker 1: the process.

35:17 Speaker 2: They're there every day, and our staff work with anywhere

35:21 Speaker 2: from one to twelve students in a day, and you know,

35:25 Speaker 2: and it's really providing safety and regulation training and all

35:30 Speaker 2: of that so that the students getting it and the

35:31 Speaker 2: staff are getting it, so that they're learning those skills

35:34 Speaker 2: so that we can then we have an exit plan

35:37 Speaker 2: and we are trying.

35:38 Speaker 4: To get out.

35:38 Speaker 2: So it used to take us one to three years

35:41 Speaker 2: to get out of a school district. We now can

35:43 Speaker 2: get out of a school in as little as three

35:45 Speaker 2: to six months.

35:46 Speaker 4: Okay with the staff. So and we go back to.

35:48 Speaker 2: The school once all the students have transitioned off. I

35:50 Speaker 2: had a one of my amazing staff last year. She

35:53 Speaker 2: had her school. She got all of her all of

35:57 Speaker 2: her students were Tier three. She had nine students and

36:00 Speaker 2: she got seven of them to Tier one and two

36:03 Speaker 2: of them were at Tier two. And we went back

36:04 Speaker 2: to the district in April and said, you know, we

36:07 Speaker 2: should we need to pull her out, Like you don't

36:09 Speaker 2: need that level of support there anymore. We can keep

36:12 Speaker 2: doing stuff, but you're better off putting us in one

36:15 Speaker 2: of your other schools in the district. Over the rest

36:18 Speaker 2: of the year to try to shore up some of

36:19 Speaker 2: the other issues, which works great, and we're we're constantly

36:24 Speaker 2: on that and we're taking data all the time to

36:27 Speaker 2: see where we're at with that too.

36:29 Speaker 1: Do you ever go into a school or a school

36:31 Speaker 1: district where you're kind of pleasantly surprised that things maybe

36:35 Speaker 1: aren't that bad, like like often like this one's going

36:38 Speaker 1: to be kind of easy.

36:39 Speaker 4: Often, Yeah, that must be nice when that happens. Great

36:42 Speaker 4: when it happens. Yeah, I mean, for me, the.

36:44 Speaker 2: Best thing that happens is when I go in and

36:46 Speaker 2: they're like, tell me how else I can do this,

36:49 Speaker 2: Give me some other strategies for this, and they want

36:51 Speaker 2: to learn because then I'm like, oh, I'm in and

36:52 Speaker 2: out fast, you know, because they're going to pick up

36:55 Speaker 2: the strategies and I can exit out. And a lot

36:59 Speaker 2: of times they're dealing with it where they're texting me

37:01 Speaker 2: or emailing me and.

37:02 Speaker 4: Saying I tried this, I tried this, what else?

37:04 Speaker 2: And I'll say how about this, this and this, and

37:06 Speaker 2: and they're able to work on it in that way.

37:08 Speaker 2: When they're open to that, that's great. When I have

37:11 Speaker 2: to spend a lot of time convincing them that it's

37:13 Speaker 2: going to work.

37:14 Speaker 4: It takes more time. Yeah, obviously, do.

37:16 Speaker 1: You run into that a lot as well? Oh yeah,

37:19 Speaker 1: I would imagine. Yeah.

37:21 Speaker 3: Image from the standpoint of those that are working with

37:24 Speaker 3: the students, the teachers, the parents, one thing that I

37:28 Speaker 3: hear is exhaustion.

37:29 Speaker 2: Exhaustion all around across the board for everybody, the parents,

37:33 Speaker 2: the kids, the staff.

37:34 Speaker 3: What kind of advice do you give people that are

37:36 Speaker 3: dealing just in general to deal with that exhaustion or

37:39 Speaker 3: to try and help them.

37:39 Speaker 2: I think the big thing around exhaustion is that, like

37:43 Speaker 2: we are working ourselves to a state of exhaustion a

37:46 Speaker 2: lot of the time, so you know, implementing strategies that

37:50 Speaker 2: are going to help significantly with that, making sure that

37:53 Speaker 2: you're getting good quality sleep. But I really think it's

37:57 Speaker 2: it's you know, giving yourself some downtime too, And a

38:00 Speaker 2: lot of people don't.

38:01 Speaker 4: They're so overscheduled and it just happens.

38:05 Speaker 2: It's part of your life and everything. So I have

38:07 Speaker 2: one of my own personal children, like she signs herself

38:10 Speaker 2: up for everything, and then my other child will be like,

38:13 Speaker 2: that's enough, I've got two nights of stuff. I just

38:17 Speaker 2: want to be home and have my time, and I'm like,

38:20 Speaker 2: you go, girl, Like she knows her boundaries and she

38:23 Speaker 2: sets them and knows that it's too much.

38:25 Speaker 4: Where's my other one?

38:26 Speaker 1: Will?

38:26 Speaker 4: You know? Over schedule?

38:27 Speaker 2: And then she's you know, on top of it and

38:30 Speaker 2: everything else. But I also make them my own personal children.

38:34 Speaker 2: Like we've meditated since they were my littlest I think

38:38 Speaker 2: was eighteen months when I started meditating with her. And wow,

38:41 Speaker 2: and so we meditate every night as a family.

38:45 Speaker 4: Wow, my husband sleeps during the meditation.

38:50 Speaker 2: I'll sleep every night during the meditation. But my girls meditate.

38:54 Speaker 2: We meditate every night, and that is part of what

38:57 Speaker 2: my youngest daughter will tell you. That is the bigest

39:00 Speaker 2: thing that has helped her with quality of sleep, that

39:02 Speaker 2: has helped her with her anxiety, and has significantly helped

39:05 Speaker 2: her when she starts to feel sad. So those are huge,

39:09 Speaker 2: which you look at the research. I mean honestly, the

39:12 Speaker 2: meditation it creates those hormones in the brain that helped

39:16 Speaker 2: to combat all of those pieces and everything, so significantly

39:21 Speaker 2: helps with that. And we're very specific about what we're

39:24 Speaker 2: meditating about, whether we're reviewing our day, whether we are meditating,

39:29 Speaker 2: because we want to think about something that we feel happens,

39:33 Speaker 2: and we're mentally rehearsing that scenario, whatever it is. We're

39:37 Speaker 2: very specific about our meditations.

39:39 Speaker 3: Now. Do you tell somebody that says, oh, I can't

39:41 Speaker 3: meditate everybody, my brain doesn't stop.

39:43 Speaker 4: I can't meditate. I feel your pain. If you know

39:46 Speaker 4: me that, I'm like, yeah, no, I hear that.

39:50 Speaker 1: Yeah. Actually we talked about that when I was on

39:53 Speaker 1: your podcast, because I hear that all the time.

39:56 Speaker 2: Apist, Yeah, everybody. Can you start with very small components

40:01 Speaker 2: of time. I have Every one of my students tells

40:03 Speaker 2: me that when I start with them, because we start

40:05 Speaker 2: with mindfulness and we work up to meditation over time.

40:08 Speaker 2: We have to do safety and regulation first, but we

40:11 Speaker 2: get to the meditation and kids always students that have

40:14 Speaker 2: said I.

40:15 Speaker 4: Can't do this, this is stupid, I don't like.

40:18 Speaker 2: It, you know, And then a couple months later I'm in.

40:20 Speaker 2: They'll be like, doctor, b are we going to meditate today?

40:22 Speaker 4: And I'm like, yep, we are.

40:23 Speaker 2: So they get in, they get to that and they'll say, oh,

40:27 Speaker 2: I really need to meditate today. I have a math

40:28 Speaker 2: test and I've got to be ready or I've got to,

40:31 Speaker 2: you know, get up in front of the class and

40:33 Speaker 2: speak about this project that I'm doing. I need to meditate,

40:35 Speaker 2: and I'll be like, okay, let's do it. And they

40:38 Speaker 2: get themselves, you know, into a point where they really

40:40 Speaker 2: look forward to it, and they tell me also, that's

40:43 Speaker 2: one of the biggest things that helps their quality of life.

40:45 Speaker 5: Mm hmm, that's awesome.

40:46 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, that's excellent.

40:48 Speaker 2: Uh.

40:49 Speaker 1: Sarah in the chat room two was asking, great question.

40:51 Speaker 1: Can you explain the tears you mentioned like tier one

40:53 Speaker 1: tier two?

40:54 Speaker 4: Yeah, good question.

40:55 Speaker 2: So Tier one is really just a student who might

40:58 Speaker 2: be just struggling a little bit, having some trouble paying attention,

41:01 Speaker 2: maybe talking to their neighbor or blurting things out, doing

41:04 Speaker 2: that sort of thing.

41:05 Speaker 4: A Tier two kid is probably a student who's.

41:07 Speaker 2: Getting up and leaving class, using a lot of bathroom breaks,

41:10 Speaker 2: maybe refusing to do work in the classroom. Those sorts

41:14 Speaker 2: of things, isn't getting isn't producing much academically, especially if

41:19 Speaker 2: they are not getting one on one support.

41:21 Speaker 4: That's a tier two.

41:22 Speaker 2: Tier three is your student who's probably not in your

41:24 Speaker 2: classroom a lot of the time. It might not be

41:26 Speaker 2: in the classroom at all.

41:27 Speaker 4: Those are Tier three kids.

41:29 Speaker 2: I tend to get Tier three kids if they are

41:32 Speaker 2: physically aggressive. A Tier three kid who is not physically aggressive,

41:35 Speaker 2: more in shutdown mode and stuff. Sometimes I'll get that student,

41:39 Speaker 2: especially if it's if the community around them is really

41:42 Speaker 2: invested in getting them to a better point. But it

41:46 Speaker 2: really depends on the students. So the difference is that

41:49 Speaker 2: students who are physically aggressive are obviously disruptive to the

41:52 Speaker 2: school community. Yeah, so that's why we get called in

41:57 Speaker 2: so quickly versus the other population. We work just as

42:00 Speaker 2: much with the other population, especially with parents, but it's

42:04 Speaker 2: not as high a need because it's not disrupting and

42:07 Speaker 2: not putting a.

42:08 Speaker 4: Risk to the school community as as a whole.

42:11 Speaker 1: Do you have any advice for parents who are dealing

42:14 Speaker 1: with this not obviously not in the school, but parents

42:17 Speaker 1: who are dealing with this at home physically aggressive kids. Yeah,

42:20 Speaker 1: and they don't know what to do.

42:21 Speaker 4: Absolutely, Yeah.

42:22 Speaker 2: I mean some big things are you know, does the

42:24 Speaker 2: kid feel safe? And do you feel safe? If you

42:27 Speaker 2: don't feel safe, then you're not going to be able

42:30 Speaker 2: to convey safety to the other person. The stance of safety,

42:34 Speaker 2: I talk about that all the time. There's a certain

42:36 Speaker 2: way to stand your feet, are about shoulder with apart,

42:39 Speaker 2: your hands are in front of your thumbs are up,

42:41 Speaker 2: because that conveys confidence to the other person nonverbally, even

42:44 Speaker 2: though they don't realize that your elbows.

42:47 Speaker 4: Are slightly out.

42:48 Speaker 2: But you're not in an arms of Kimbo sort of

42:51 Speaker 2: stance because you're not trying to convey authority. You're trying

42:53 Speaker 2: to convey safety. So there is a slight differentiation with that.

42:58 Speaker 2: You're tilting your head lightly to the left, and the

43:01 Speaker 2: reason why is that conveys empathy in lifting the chin

43:05 Speaker 2: a little bit, because that also conveys that you're paying attention,

43:07 Speaker 2: that you're intentionally attuned.

43:09 Speaker 4: So the stance safety huge.

43:11 Speaker 2: Usually if I just move into that stance when I

43:14 Speaker 2: have a youth that is, you know, really agitated and

43:17 Speaker 2: could be physically agitated destroying property or whatever, they start

43:21 Speaker 2: to calm down and they end up usually moving into crying.

43:23 Speaker 2: If you're a parent and you're home with your kid

43:25 Speaker 2: oftentime and your kid is getting physically aggressive, oftentimes one

43:30 Speaker 2: remove the trigger. So if the trigger is I want

43:33 Speaker 2: that candy bar, I want that candy bar, and you

43:35 Speaker 2: said no, and the candy bar is still on the counter,

43:37 Speaker 2: you got to get whatever the trigger is same thing.

43:40 Speaker 4: I want my phone.

43:40 Speaker 2: I want my phone and the phone is still sitting

43:42 Speaker 2: on the counter, or I want my xbox.

43:45 Speaker 4: Block it, either physically stand.

43:47 Speaker 2: In front of it so that they can't see it,

43:50 Speaker 2: or put it away, because anytime they see that item,

43:53 Speaker 2: it's gonna they're going to trigger again.

43:56 Speaker 4: It's just going to re escalate the person over again.

43:58 Speaker 2: So get rid of it, you know, provide some sort

44:01 Speaker 2: of simple distraction once they start to come down a

44:04 Speaker 2: little bit, but you've got to give them a moment

44:06 Speaker 2: to come down. If you know your child is not

44:07 Speaker 2: going to be physically aggressive towards you, oftentimes a hug

44:10 Speaker 2: will bring them out of it because that calms the

44:12 Speaker 2: olympic system. So if you're at home, a lot of

44:16 Speaker 2: schools are non huggers, so I wouldn't say to do

44:18 Speaker 2: that at school, But if you're at home, grab your

44:21 Speaker 2: kid and hug them, or say do you need a hug?

44:23 Speaker 2: Do you just need a hug right now? And you know,

44:25 Speaker 2: pull them in and give them a hug. And usually

44:27 Speaker 2: then you can say, hey, you know, let's let's go

44:30 Speaker 2: do something, distract them for a minute, and then say

44:32 Speaker 2: what are some solutions? What are some things we can

44:34 Speaker 2: do differently and move them forward from that. Water is

44:37 Speaker 2: also a great remedy for this.

44:40 Speaker 1: Oh I remember you talking about this.

44:41 Speaker 2: Get them in the tub, get them in the shower,

44:44 Speaker 2: you know, if they're open to that. You know, water

44:46 Speaker 2: will help to de escalate them for sure as far

44:50 Speaker 2: as that stuff goes. So get them, you know, involved

44:53 Speaker 2: in water somehow you can get them to do that.

44:56 Speaker 2: But comfort items work really well too. If you can't

44:59 Speaker 2: get them into a shower, get a get a blanket

45:01 Speaker 2: and put it over them or something like that. Or

45:04 Speaker 2: help them get to a smaller, more confined space. If

45:07 Speaker 2: they're standing in the living room and that's your biggest

45:09 Speaker 2: room of the house, they're going to keep screaming and

45:12 Speaker 2: yelling and having big motions because the space is big.

45:15 Speaker 2: Their body has to fill the space. That makes sense, Okay,

45:18 Speaker 2: get them into the kitchen, in the bathroom, wherever. Get

45:21 Speaker 2: them into a smaller space. That will help significantly.

45:26 Speaker 4: Okay, So the.

45:27 Speaker 2: More you can shrink the space, the more safe they're

45:29 Speaker 2: going to feel. You know, at schools, I'll often be

45:32 Speaker 2: like I'll say to the kid, I'll like just point

45:34 Speaker 2: under the table, you know, and they'll just move under

45:38 Speaker 2: the table and then I'll hand them a blanket and

45:40 Speaker 2: then after a few minutes, they'll say, you ready to

45:43 Speaker 2: come out and we'll do a focus activity and then

45:45 Speaker 2: I get them back onto the academics. And the same

45:48 Speaker 2: thing works really well at home. Like I'll you know,

45:50 Speaker 2: you can say to them, you know, you want to go,

45:53 Speaker 2: you know, into a cabinet or something like that, Like

45:56 Speaker 2: all kids love that secret room, right concept I want

45:59 Speaker 2: to build.

46:00 Speaker 5: Let's take me wrong.

46:01 Speaker 2: You'll just be like, open the cabinet, pull out the

46:03 Speaker 2: you know, pull out your dishes and stuff for a second,

46:05 Speaker 2: be like, won't you go in there for a moment,

46:07 Speaker 2: you know, and they'll feel, they'll regroup, and then they

46:10 Speaker 2: come out.

46:11 Speaker 4: And then you can do some processing with them. It's

46:12 Speaker 4: really good.

46:13 Speaker 2: You need to do processing with them so that you

46:14 Speaker 2: can talk about what they can do better the next time,

46:16 Speaker 2: because you certainly don't want a twenty five year old

46:19 Speaker 2: crawling into a cabinet when they get upset, right, Not

46:22 Speaker 2: that that would I haven't heard any stories of that happening,

46:24 Speaker 2: but yeah, don't.

46:26 Speaker 1: We don't even like it when our cats crawl into

46:28 Speaker 1: our cabinets. But maybe that's why they You know, because

46:31 Speaker 1: they like.

46:31 Speaker 4: They like small faces.

46:33 Speaker 2: This is the same reason why dogs like small confined

46:36 Speaker 2: spaces everything too. I mean, it's you know, I have

46:38 Speaker 2: a lot of kids who will go into their beds

46:40 Speaker 2: when they don't feel safe. They go under their beds. Ye,

46:42 Speaker 2: you know that, And I'll tell parents make it as

46:44 Speaker 2: a safe place right there. If they're feeling stressed or

46:47 Speaker 2: you can see that they're starting to get agitated, say hey,

46:50 Speaker 2: why don't you go lay under your bed for a

46:53 Speaker 2: little bit. Here's some here's some coloring, or here's some

46:56 Speaker 2: this to do. Teens do it with clothing typically, so

47:00 Speaker 2: if they're getting stressed and they're starting to get agitated

47:02 Speaker 2: with you handam's sweatshirt.

47:04 Speaker 4: Okay, so I put the hood up.

47:06 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, or Hannama winter hat so you can put

47:08 Speaker 2: the hat on something like that. You know, that's why

47:10 Speaker 2: people love to wear hats. It feel safer, get them

47:14 Speaker 2: on and everything. It helps to stimulate that vagus nerve

47:17 Speaker 2: and also helps to feel more confined, so.

47:20 Speaker 4: They feel a little bit safer.

47:22 Speaker 1: Everything that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, doctor b. The time

47:26 Speaker 1: goes so quickly. We're already we're already approaching the top

47:28 Speaker 1: of the hour. So I want to make sure before

47:30 Speaker 1: we run out of time that our listeners know how

47:33 Speaker 1: to reach you, how to learn more about the Behavior

47:36 Speaker 1: boot Camp and the podcast of course, and anything else

47:39 Speaker 1: you want to make sure everybody knows about.

47:41 Speaker 2: Yeah, so the easiest way to get a hold of

47:43 Speaker 2: us is going to Wwwthbehavior boot camp dot com. That's

47:48 Speaker 2: and we're also on the social media platforms under that

47:51 Speaker 2: name is Well and everything we'd love to see. We

47:53 Speaker 2: hold the free webinar every Thursday, and usually one of

47:57 Speaker 2: our staff, one of our behaviorists, actually mansat. So if

48:00 Speaker 2: you're having challenges at home, if you're having challenges at school,

48:04 Speaker 2: whatever it may be, feel free to go on to

48:06 Speaker 2: our website, sign up for that webinar and jump on

48:10 Speaker 2: and a behaviorist will help get you through some of

48:12 Speaker 2: those things, and they'll also give you some strategies, so

48:15 Speaker 2: they have a planned content for that time. But that's

48:17 Speaker 2: really for people who are struggling with certain scenarios that

48:20 Speaker 2: need to work through things.

48:21 Speaker 1: Excellent. Excellent. By the way, I do want to read

48:23 Speaker 1: this comment to Angela posted I've learned through Behavior Bootcamp

48:26 Speaker 1: how body stance it's so important. Had no idea how

48:30 Speaker 1: much body language can speak so much louder than words.

48:33 Speaker 4: Oh, thank you so much, Angelo.

48:34 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, absolutely, thank you for that. Angela very

48:38 Speaker 1: good well, doctor B. It's always a pleasure.

48:40 Speaker 4: It's always great to be here.

48:42 Speaker 2: Thanks so much for having me you guys, it's good

48:44 Speaker 2: to see you both now.

48:45 Speaker 1: We really appreciate you and Jenny before we go too.

48:48 Speaker 1: You want to plug your website and remind everybody of

48:50 Speaker 1: what you're doing.

48:51 Speaker 4: Yeah, coming with.

48:52 Speaker 2: Yeah, shout out much, shout out much.

48:54 Speaker 3: You can go to coffee dot com, j E N

48:57 Speaker 3: N co O f f ui dot com. Check out

48:59 Speaker 3: on my arm art work, keep up with my activism.

49:03 Speaker 5: Yeah.

49:04 Speaker 3: Looking forward to writing up what it was like going

49:06 Speaker 3: to the White House to speak next week.

49:08 Speaker 2: Yeah, big things, big things coming.

49:10 Speaker 1: Absolutely.

49:11 Speaker 3: Don't forget to check out the Mosaic Art Collective right

49:14 Speaker 3: here in the Queens City, where I'm proud to have

49:16 Speaker 3: one of my pieces on display right now, and it's

49:18 Speaker 3: not too late. I think today is the leadline deadline

49:21 Speaker 3: to get in for the Spellbuying spell Bound Art show

49:25 Speaker 3: next month at the Mosaic Art Collective.

49:27 Speaker 1: Yes, yes, absolutely, uh, doctor B. Thank you again, and

49:31 Speaker 1: of course thank you to jam tomorrow for joining us

49:33 Speaker 1: in the second hour, and of course we had Adam

49:36 Speaker 1: from Everfelt. Oh, I'm sorry. We had Jam Tomorrow in

49:38 Speaker 1: the first hour, Adam in the second hour I ever Felt, Yes, Yes,

49:41 Speaker 1: And we will leave you with as promised. So I'm

49:44 Speaker 1: going to play the entire song because I love it

49:46 Speaker 1: so much, Falling into Place by Jam Tomorrow. And if

49:49 Speaker 1: you miss any part of today's show, it will be

49:50 Speaker 1: up in just a little bit at wmnhradio dot org

49:53 Speaker 1: at my website Matt Connorton dot com, and we'll talk

49:56 Speaker 1: at you all a little bit later. By everybody, Bye bye,