Matt Connarton Unleashed 4-5-25 hour 3

0:00 Speaker 1: W m n H rip the novels you're listening to.

0:05 Speaker 1: W m n H.

0:10 Speaker 2: Command God don't get Supreme Leada Matzell coming.

0:48 Speaker 3: Welcome back everybody as we enter our number three New

0:51 Speaker 3: Marrow trace of Matt Connorton Unleashed and we are live

0:56 Speaker 3: from the studios of w m n H ninety five

0:58 Speaker 3: point three f M and Gloria Manchester, New Hampshire. And

1:01 Speaker 3: of course you can stream the show online from anywhere

1:03 Speaker 3: but to my website Matt Connorton dot com slash live

1:07 Speaker 3: for all of your live streaming options, social media links,

1:09 Speaker 3: contact and post show archives, et.

1:11 Speaker 1: Cetera, et cetera.

1:12 Speaker 3: Today is Saturday, April five, twenty twenty five. And by

1:16 Speaker 3: the way, we are celebrating eight years of Matt Connorton

1:20 Speaker 3: Unleashed as of this week here at WMNH ninety five

1:24 Speaker 3: point three FM. Eight years gone in the blink of

1:27 Speaker 3: an eye, I'll tell you it goes so quick. But

1:29 Speaker 3: very happy to be here this week and joining us

1:32 Speaker 3: live in studio. We have Justin Hunters here. Hello, Justin. Oh,

1:37 Speaker 3: your mic is not on. I apologize. Let's try that again.

1:39 Speaker 1: Test tests. There we go. Sorry about that, all right,

1:42 Speaker 1: Hot Matt.

1:42 Speaker 3: Yeah, today's been it's been an interesting day. Let's just say,

1:47 Speaker 3: I'm glad that we have a live guest here in

1:50 Speaker 3: studio who is on time. It's a great thing. Don't

1:55 Speaker 3: take that for granted people, you know, it's funny now.

1:58 Speaker 3: I'm just I'm being a little funny about it, but

2:00 Speaker 3: we did. I was explaining off air how today has

2:02 Speaker 3: been like the the most uh not smooth, shall we say,

2:07 Speaker 3: day for guests, which is funny because we had a

2:11 Speaker 3: we had a string of shows going for a long

2:13 Speaker 3: time where every single week everybody was on time and

2:16 Speaker 3: it was great and no issue is nothing, and then

2:19 Speaker 3: all of a sudden, Uh, today has just been.

2:21 Speaker 1: Uh.

2:22 Speaker 3: I said something about a full moon and then you

2:25 Speaker 3: said something else I'd never even heard of, and I

2:27 Speaker 3: was like, oh, I don't know, but anyway, so it's

2:30 Speaker 3: wonderful to have you here. And we met through a

2:33 Speaker 3: mutual friend, uh Anthony tone Peyton, and you know, he

2:37 Speaker 3: he occasionally, he's uh sent us a few people actually

2:40 Speaker 3: over the year. Is always always very interesting, so you know,

2:42 Speaker 3: uh he recommended you. So that's uh that was enough

2:45 Speaker 3: for me to say, hey, let's let's catch you on

2:47 Speaker 3: you know, because uh, I know you've got a story

2:49 Speaker 3: to tell. I know you've been through some things. I

2:51 Speaker 3: don't know too much because, as you know, I like

2:53 Speaker 3: to not know too much going in because you know,

2:57 Speaker 3: I like to be I like to approach the conversation

3:00 Speaker 3: with curiosity. I think that's that's part of what helps

3:04 Speaker 3: me as an interviewer to do that. But yeah, I mean,

3:07 Speaker 3: tell us about yourself and we'll we'll start there.

3:09 Speaker 4: Well, I'm originally from West Virginia. Moved up to New

3:14 Speaker 4: Hampshire back last April, okay, and went through some very

3:20 Speaker 4: hard times towards the end of my stay in West Virginia.

3:24 Speaker 4: Although I miss it, I'm glad that I made the

3:27 Speaker 4: move up here and basically went through. What I'll get

3:32 Speaker 4: into on the show is my about with homelessness and

3:37 Speaker 4: how I when I moved up here, was able to

3:41 Speaker 4: achieve stability through staying staying in the same job. It

3:46 Speaker 4: put me back on my feet. I got a new

3:49 Speaker 4: support system around me because the old support systems all

3:53 Speaker 4: the way down there. And while I stayed in contact

3:56 Speaker 4: with with everyone that was, you know, really helping me

4:00 Speaker 4: out and and just people I was close to. It's

4:03 Speaker 4: it's been an interesting transition, and my life has become

4:06 Speaker 4: very different, and I've become very different because of because

4:10 Speaker 4: of the entire process.

4:12 Speaker 3: So what was it they brought you so West Virginia,

4:14 Speaker 3: that's where you're from originally, So what brought you from there?

4:17 Speaker 1: To hear it?

4:18 Speaker 3: I mean, do you like being cold in the winter

4:21 Speaker 3: or what?

4:22 Speaker 4: Well, the weather, the weather is something I've had to

4:24 Speaker 4: get used to. But it gets it gets pretty cold

4:27 Speaker 4: down there too. Oh yeah, well for sure, definitely gets

4:31 Speaker 4: more human in the summer, That's.

4:33 Speaker 1: What I've heard. Yeah.

4:34 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've never been there in the summertime. I've been

4:36 Speaker 3: in that area, but not in the summertime.

4:38 Speaker 1: Yeah.

4:38 Speaker 4: But but but yeah, it for for I'm losing my

4:46 Speaker 4: train of thought for for me, you know, back back

4:53 Speaker 4: to what I was saying, basically, uh, when I when

4:55 Speaker 4: I got up here, you know, I I basically immediately

4:59 Speaker 4: started looking for a job, and not just any job,

5:02 Speaker 4: but a good full time job, something that I knew

5:04 Speaker 4: that I would that would take up most of my

5:07 Speaker 4: time really and started doing.

5:13 Speaker 1: Basically a delivery work.

5:15 Speaker 4: And it it thrust me into this mode where you know,

5:19 Speaker 4: I was I had to I had to come into

5:21 Speaker 4: work every day, and that was not something I was

5:22 Speaker 4: doing prior to this. I was very unreliable for many years,

5:26 Speaker 4: spotty background as far as my career and stuff like

5:29 Speaker 4: and work, and I just I just made as many

5:35 Speaker 4: changes as I possibly could to become a I don't

5:38 Speaker 4: want to say a true adult, but you know, to

5:40 Speaker 4: mature as a person.

5:41 Speaker 1: Sure.

5:42 Speaker 4: And so after doing that, this job got me in

5:45 Speaker 4: really good physical condition. I quit a lot of vices

5:49 Speaker 4: that I had coming up here. Nothing too bad, but

5:52 Speaker 4: just you know, just wasting my own time most of

5:55 Speaker 4: the time instead of spending it productively, you know, getting

5:59 Speaker 4: myself a stack published and yeah, you know. And so

6:04 Speaker 4: so by doing that in any less than a year,

6:07 Speaker 4: I was able to turn my life completely around. An apartment,

6:10 Speaker 4: got a new car, and uh, you know, and and

6:14 Speaker 4: I'm much happier.

6:15 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, it's it's very it's very very different. Yeah.

6:19 Speaker 3: So so coming up here. So so you were able

6:22 Speaker 3: to really turn things around.

6:24 Speaker 1: You know.

6:24 Speaker 3: What's interesting to me about that is because a lot

6:27 Speaker 3: of people will say, and I'm I'm sure some people will.

6:31 Speaker 1: Wonder, you know, how like, what was it about it?

6:35 Speaker 3: There was about being here that helped you to do that?

6:38 Speaker 3: Because the Northeast is expensive, and I don't I don't

6:42 Speaker 3: know what it's like in West Virginia exactly, but I

6:44 Speaker 3: would assume the cost of living is less there than here, absolutely,

6:48 Speaker 3: especially when you talk about housing, you know, and and

6:52 Speaker 3: housing is a problem all over the country, but certainly

6:54 Speaker 3: especially in the Northeast. So so that's interesting to me

6:59 Speaker 3: that like, like why, like why were you able to

7:02 Speaker 3: do that here and not there?

7:03 Speaker 1: And what was it that you really Because the other thing.

7:07 Speaker 3: That's interesting about this too is that sometimes people move.

7:13 Speaker 3: I've known a lot of people who've packed up and

7:14 Speaker 3: moved to a new place because they think that if

7:18 Speaker 3: they do that, you know, that it's going to help

7:21 Speaker 3: them solve all their problems. And I and then I

7:25 Speaker 3: look at them and I say, well, you know, there

7:28 Speaker 3: can be value in that for people. Sure, a new

7:31 Speaker 3: environment in some instances, But sometimes two people do that

7:34 Speaker 3: and then they realize, oh, my problems are portable. I

7:37 Speaker 3: have all the same problems here that I had there.

7:40 Speaker 3: I took them with me.

7:41 Speaker 1: Oops.

7:43 Speaker 3: You know, people, because sometimes people trick themselves into thinking,

7:46 Speaker 3: you know, new environment, I'm going to be a completely

7:48 Speaker 3: different person because I'm in a new place, and it

7:50 Speaker 3: doesn't tend to work that way. But in your case,

7:53 Speaker 3: I mean, you took that and you you made that work.

7:57 Speaker 1: Like why, Well, that's a good question.

8:01 Speaker 4: And I'll start by saying this that one of the

8:06 Speaker 4: reasons that I came up here is that I have

8:07 Speaker 4: family up here. Yeah, and I got to the point

8:11 Speaker 4: of getting I just got burnt out trying to do

8:15 Speaker 4: everything by myself. You know, I just I knew that

8:18 Speaker 4: I could get to that place mentally, and and you

8:22 Speaker 4: know in life once I once I got myself established,

8:25 Speaker 4: but I really needed to lean on my family. And

8:28 Speaker 4: so you know, I I contacted my dad who lives

8:34 Speaker 4: in New Hampshire, and I told him what was going

8:37 Speaker 4: on that you know, here's the second time around where

8:39 Speaker 4: I'm facing homeless homelessness had a break down in the

8:43 Speaker 4: situation that I was in. Here we go again, And

8:46 Speaker 4: he said, well, why don't you just come up justin

8:48 Speaker 4: And you know, a few years prior to that, I

8:51 Speaker 4: had kind of planned on moving back to New Hampshire

8:54 Speaker 4: or moving up to New Hampshire and to just basically

8:58 Speaker 4: spend more time with him too, to spend more time

9:00 Speaker 4: with my father. Yeah, and so I said, all right,

9:03 Speaker 4: you know, what, I'm just going to do it. And

9:04 Speaker 4: you know, I've I've I've moved before and you know,

9:07 Speaker 4: and and so it always kind of just works out,

9:09 Speaker 4: you know, but you got to take the staffs, YadA, YadA, YadA.

9:11 Speaker 4: But of course, but anyway, so I so I did that,

9:15 Speaker 4: and with he was a big part of the support

9:18 Speaker 4: system that I had. And it wasn't that he did

9:20 Speaker 4: anything I don't want to say extravagant. It was just

9:24 Speaker 4: having having his presence and the pressure of having my

9:30 Speaker 4: father as an adult, I'm going to be forwarding in

9:32 Speaker 4: another week, and uh, you know, and I I just

9:36 Speaker 4: I just didn't want to let him down. And having

9:38 Speaker 4: that pressure really helped me to just honestly get up

9:40 Speaker 4: for work every single day and and just do what

9:42 Speaker 4: I needed to do. And then by the end of

9:45 Speaker 4: the day, I was dog tired, and he was dog

9:47 Speaker 4: tired because he's still working at that time.

9:49 Speaker 1: Sure, sure, you know.

9:50 Speaker 4: Retired, but finding things to do, and it just was

9:54 Speaker 4: it was something that I hadn't experienced in many years.

9:57 Speaker 4: I've been a strange from my face only for a while,

10:01 Speaker 4: and being able to come back up here, uh uh

10:04 Speaker 4: and spend that kind of spend that kind of time

10:07 Speaker 4: with my dad and and do these these essential steps

10:10 Speaker 4: to get myself you know going, you know is is

10:14 Speaker 4: really what is really?

10:15 Speaker 1: What did it? Yeah?

10:17 Speaker 3: Sometimes I think, you know, having somebody believe in you

10:24 Speaker 3: is uh, because I think a lot of people who

10:27 Speaker 3: fall through the cracks, you know what happens because no one.

10:30 Speaker 3: It's hard to believe in yourself if nobody else believes

10:32 Speaker 3: in you, and your dad obviously did believe in you.

10:36 Speaker 1: Yeah, And then so when.

10:37 Speaker 3: Someone believes in you, yeah, you feel I think you

10:39 Speaker 3: described it well when you talked about that pressure when

10:41 Speaker 3: somebody believes in you, you don't want to because human

10:44 Speaker 3: beings to varying degrees. But I think something that is

10:49 Speaker 3: in most people is we don't like letting people other

10:52 Speaker 3: We don't like letting other people down. We don't like

10:54 Speaker 3: disappointing people, so we try not to. So if nobody

10:59 Speaker 3: believes in you, then it really doesn't matter in the

11:02 Speaker 3: sense that well you have no you know, you can

11:05 Speaker 3: you can let yourself down. People are people almost are

11:07 Speaker 3: more comfortable with letting themselves down than with letting other

11:10 Speaker 3: people down. Right, So if you if you have no

11:13 Speaker 3: one to let down, then what does it matter, right.

11:16 Speaker 3: I think that's the mindset that a lot of people

11:17 Speaker 3: get to. But if you have someone who believes in you,

11:19 Speaker 3: even if it's only a little bit, that can make

11:22 Speaker 3: a huge difference because then you don't want to let

11:24 Speaker 3: them down. You don't want them to feel you don't

11:26 Speaker 3: want them to feel foolish forever having believed in you.

11:29 Speaker 3: You don't want uh yeah, you don't want them to

11:32 Speaker 3: be upset with you. All of it, All that goes

11:34 Speaker 3: with that. So it sounds like having your father believe

11:36 Speaker 3: in you, that gave you a reason to make sure

11:40 Speaker 3: that you didn't fail.

11:42 Speaker 1: Well, that's right.

11:43 Speaker 4: And you know another another part of it too is

11:46 Speaker 4: accepting the help, and it's I think it's a lot harder.

11:49 Speaker 4: I mean, in might say my twenties, it would it

11:51 Speaker 4: would be easier for me to or even younger, it'd

11:53 Speaker 4: be easier to accept help. But admitting that I couldn't,

11:57 Speaker 4: I couldn't go on on my own anymore, yeap, really hard.

12:02 Speaker 4: And and I'm glad that I I just admitted and

12:06 Speaker 4: what would you say, uh, you know, confronted these things

12:09 Speaker 4: about myself and said okay, I need help, and and

12:12 Speaker 4: and took the help and then made the steps on

12:15 Speaker 4: my own. But yeah, the pressure, it's it. I think

12:20 Speaker 4: it's important to use pressure and fear to your advantage

12:24 Speaker 4: and and know that it's your friend. It's you know,

12:26 Speaker 4: it's it's it's a it's an extremely powerful force that

12:32 Speaker 4: can motivate you in the right direction.

12:34 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I think we tend to think of.

12:40 Speaker 1: Some people. I think tend to think of.

12:41 Speaker 3: Well, you know, fear is is bad and you should

12:45 Speaker 3: have no fear and and you know, I think the

12:49 Speaker 3: way the way you put it is good because it

12:51 Speaker 3: can be your friend. I mean, obviously fear, you know,

12:56 Speaker 3: you don't want to go through life afraid of everything.

12:58 Speaker 3: And of course fear can be extremely harmful. Fear can

13:01 Speaker 3: keep you from achieving things because fear can stop you

13:04 Speaker 3: from trying things right, you know. But I think also, yeah,

13:09 Speaker 3: it can be your friend, and that you know, fear

13:11 Speaker 3: of you know, fear, for example, use fear to motivate

13:17 Speaker 3: you in terms of achieving financial objectives because you have

13:21 Speaker 3: a maybe you have a fear of being homeless again,

13:24 Speaker 3: or or a fear of starving, or you know, or

13:27 Speaker 3: a fear of letting other people down, and so so

13:30 Speaker 3: any of these things can be can be positive.

13:33 Speaker 1: Fear pressure, stress.

13:34 Speaker 3: You know, people talk about stress and people say, oh,

13:36 Speaker 3: you know, I just want to not have any stress. Well,

13:39 Speaker 3: you actually do want to have a little bit of stress.

13:41 Speaker 3: You don't want to have stress to the point where

13:44 Speaker 3: it's unhealthy. But some stress is good. Some stress is

13:46 Speaker 3: positive because you want to be challenged, you don't. You know,

13:50 Speaker 3: people say, oh, I just want everything to be easy. Yeah,

13:52 Speaker 3: people think they want everything to be easy.

13:55 Speaker 1: You don't want.

13:55 Speaker 3: Everything to be too hard, But you don't want everything

13:58 Speaker 3: to be too easy either. Because of the way humans are,

14:02 Speaker 3: the way we're wired, the way we're conditioned, we do

14:05 Speaker 3: need some degree of challenge in our lives. Otherwise we

14:08 Speaker 3: get bored, we get complacent. I think humans are like sharks.

14:11 Speaker 3: When we stop moving, we die.

14:14 Speaker 1: You know. That's why people who.

14:17 Speaker 3: For example, it's a little bit of a side street,

14:19 Speaker 3: but there's no shortage of data that shows that people

14:24 Speaker 3: who retire and just retire completely, like they don't stay

14:30 Speaker 3: active and passionate about something die earlier than people who

14:36 Speaker 3: retire from whatever their full time career was. But they

14:39 Speaker 3: still have things that excite them. Maybe they work a

14:42 Speaker 3: part time job, maybe they find a new career. Maybe

14:45 Speaker 3: they volunteer somewhere. You know, in New Hampshire, a lot

14:50 Speaker 3: of people, you know, because it doesn't pay money to

14:53 Speaker 3: be a state rep. And New I think they get

14:54 Speaker 3: one hundred dollars stipend. But you know, to serve in

14:57 Speaker 3: the New Hampshire state legislature, it doesn't. It's not a

14:58 Speaker 3: paying job. It is in both states. So you know, uh,

15:02 Speaker 3: some people who retire they run for office. But but

15:06 Speaker 3: you have to have purpose and and so you have

15:09 Speaker 3: to have some degree of stress and pressure and what

15:13 Speaker 3: you describe as using those things in a positive way

15:17 Speaker 3: to help you succeed. Ego is another great example. You know,

15:20 Speaker 3: people say, well, ego is bad, you shouldn't have, you know,

15:24 Speaker 3: too much ego. You can have unhealthy ego. You can

15:26 Speaker 3: have outsized ego where you know you think you're better

15:30 Speaker 3: and smarter than everybody. Or you can have an unhealthily,

15:33 Speaker 3: unhealthfully small ego where you have low self esteem. You know,

15:37 Speaker 3: those are both bad, but having some degree of ego

15:41 Speaker 3: will help you to succeed in life because you know,

15:43 Speaker 3: you've got to believe in yourself, right right, Yeah, So

15:47 Speaker 3: I think what you've described for examples where you can

15:50 Speaker 3: take those things that people think are negative, like stress

15:52 Speaker 3: and ego and all of it. But but those can

15:56 Speaker 3: be your friend and and you can use those in

15:57 Speaker 3: healthy ways.

15:58 Speaker 4: Yes, well, well, and this brings this brings me to

16:02 Speaker 4: another point. That one when I the first time that

16:08 Speaker 4: year that I became homeless, I I was basically sleeping

16:13 Speaker 4: out of my car at the at the skate park.

16:16 Speaker 4: Basically I spent a lot of my time there, and

16:19 Speaker 4: I can get into that later about skating a long

16:22 Speaker 4: time and all that. And I wrote on the top

16:27 Speaker 4: of the vinyl of the that there's there's no bell

16:31 Speaker 4: coming to save you. Nobody is coming to help you.

16:34 Speaker 4: And I was completely I was in this really interesting

16:37 Speaker 4: moment that I'll never forget in my life that I

16:39 Speaker 4: was just completely isolated by myself, no one to call,

16:43 Speaker 4: no one. It was just me alone in this situation.

16:47 Speaker 4: And luckily, luckily, I you know, took that as a

16:56 Speaker 4: good moment. I didn't let it defeat me. I didn't

17:00 Speaker 4: do anything poorly drastic. I think that I think that

17:06 Speaker 4: for me personally when I when I was dealing with

17:09 Speaker 4: being homeless. And this doesn't speak for everybody, but for me,

17:12 Speaker 4: what I learned in these moments of frustration and just

17:16 Speaker 4: being devastated by where I was at? Is it just

17:20 Speaker 4: to keep pushing forward? You have to keep moving forward

17:23 Speaker 4: and use that pressure to fuel you. You've got to

17:27 Speaker 4: have some kind of dream that's bigger than just the basics.

17:30 Speaker 4: It's almost like kind of like people have their one

17:33 Speaker 4: year plan and they have their three to five year plan.

17:35 Speaker 4: And for me to equate that to when I'm talking

17:38 Speaker 4: about it, it's that you have the bare minimum stuff,

17:43 Speaker 4: you know, get get stable, get out of your you know,

17:45 Speaker 4: I was like living out of my car at the time,

17:47 Speaker 4: So get out of living in your car. And then

17:51 Speaker 4: where do you really want to go? Where would you

17:53 Speaker 4: what would get you to a position whether you would

17:56 Speaker 4: never be in this situation again, whether you have whether

17:59 Speaker 4: you have a strong support system or or whatever around you,

18:04 Speaker 4: and how do you achieve that? And then just start

18:06 Speaker 4: kind of making the strides forward in both those directions. Yeah,

18:09 Speaker 4: use your time wisely and keep yourself busy in that way.

18:12 Speaker 4: That was how I blossifized about it again.

18:15 Speaker 3: Now, how did you how did you end up in

18:16 Speaker 3: that situation?

18:17 Speaker 1: To begin with? What what led to that? Well?

18:20 Speaker 4: Years back, I had a lot of mental health issues

18:22 Speaker 4: that kept me, kept me in and out of jobs. Yeah,

18:26 Speaker 4: I was, Like I said, I was very unreliable.

18:28 Speaker 1: Now I was. I was good.

18:29 Speaker 4: I was an easy person to get along with it work,

18:31 Speaker 4: but it was very challenging for me for for me

18:33 Speaker 4: to get myself to go to work every day. So

18:36 Speaker 4: that was a big thing. And you know, I would

18:39 Speaker 4: have stints where, you know, for a week, I would

18:41 Speaker 4: I wouldn't be able to go to work, I wouldn't

18:43 Speaker 4: be able to leave my apartment.

18:45 Speaker 1: You know. And it was it was it depression, it

18:48 Speaker 1: was more, it was more than that.

18:50 Speaker 4: It was more than that, and it was it was

18:52 Speaker 4: it was debilitating in that way that I where I

18:54 Speaker 4: had to at that time. That was my biggest struggle

18:56 Speaker 4: is my mental health issues.

18:58 Speaker 1: Yeah.

18:58 Speaker 4: And I've made, you know, great strides over the years

19:02 Speaker 4: through through different resources, different help, but it's a lot

19:06 Speaker 4: of it has been self help that I've done to

19:08 Speaker 4: be able to just the bare minimum get out of

19:12 Speaker 4: bed blah blah blah blah blah. Yeah and all that.

19:15 Speaker 4: But that's that's what I was dealing with back then.

19:18 Speaker 1: Okay.

19:18 Speaker 3: Oh, by the way, Jenny made a great comment in

19:20 Speaker 3: the chat. She said, fear can be the birthplace of courage. Yeah, oh,

19:24 Speaker 3: absolutely absolutely, I agree.

19:27 Speaker 1: Oh and beat Pinardi is in there too.

19:28 Speaker 3: By the way, Hello b she says, good morning everyone.

19:32 Speaker 3: So it was more than so, it was more than depress.

19:35 Speaker 3: The reason I asked about the depression is because I can.

19:37 Speaker 3: I can relate to some of what you were describing

19:40 Speaker 3: when it's difficult, like you know what you have to do,

19:42 Speaker 3: but it's difficult to do it. I'm someone who's I'm

19:47 Speaker 3: I'm technically undiagnosed, but I've struggled with what I believe

19:51 Speaker 3: to be clinical depression my entire life, or at least

19:55 Speaker 3: going back to when I was a teenager. So I

19:58 Speaker 3: know that sometimes you know, they're things that you know

20:00 Speaker 3: you should be doing that are good for you. It

20:02 Speaker 3: becomes like, you know, where it becomes a catch twenty

20:04 Speaker 3: two is with exercise, because there's no shortage of data

20:08 Speaker 3: and research that shows that exercise is the single best

20:13 Speaker 3: way to fight depression, even you know, better than any

20:16 Speaker 3: pill you can take. And I'm not anti medication. I'm

20:18 Speaker 3: not medicated myself, but but I think medication is valuable

20:22 Speaker 3: for a lot of people. But exercise is the number

20:25 Speaker 3: one thing. But where it becomes a catch Twenty two.

20:27 Speaker 3: Is that thing that you know is going to help

20:30 Speaker 3: you to feel better, you know, to get up and

20:32 Speaker 3: go for a run or go for a walk or

20:34 Speaker 3: whatever it is. It's hard to find the motivation to

20:38 Speaker 3: do that one thing when you're so depressed that you

20:42 Speaker 3: don't feel like doing anything, and it almost feels like

20:46 Speaker 3: like you're like you're just stuck, you know, just completely stuck.

20:51 Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, well, no, you're right about that, right about that.

20:57 Speaker 1: And I and I'm not anti medication either. Yeah.

21:00 Speaker 4: I I've been on and off medication at different points

21:03 Speaker 4: in my life. And uh, and sometimes it's helpful, sometimes

21:07 Speaker 4: a backfires. Sometimes you have to you have to figure

21:10 Speaker 4: out what the right combination is for you, depending on

21:12 Speaker 4: what kind of concerns you have or health issues you're

21:15 Speaker 4: dealing with. And you know, and and and that's why

21:19 Speaker 4: it's hard to stay on medications for a lot of

21:21 Speaker 4: people because they don't want to deal with side effects

21:23 Speaker 4: and I don't want to deal with the conjunctions of

21:25 Speaker 4: the medications working against.

21:26 Speaker 1: Each other sometimes.

21:27 Speaker 4: Yeah, and uh, you know, but but to your point, absolutely,

21:32 Speaker 4: exercise in almost in any form, is a good thing. Yep,

21:37 Speaker 4: you know, for people that have that are high tempered.

21:41 Speaker 4: You know, combat sports are great for me. It's been skateboarding.

21:44 Speaker 4: I've been skateboarding for over probably over twenty five years.

21:47 Speaker 1: I think about it. I've just I just will not.

21:50 Speaker 4: I can't quit it, even though my body kind of

21:52 Speaker 4: wants me to stop at this point, I just don't.

21:55 Speaker 1: I love it so much.

21:56 Speaker 4: Yeah, I've seen it change so many lives, including mine.

22:00 Speaker 3: Well, yeah, so I'm curious about that. I'm curious about

22:02 Speaker 3: the role that that's played.

22:03 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, you alluded to it earlier. Yes, Oh, I'd

22:06 Speaker 1: love to talk about yeah. Yeah, please.

22:09 Speaker 4: Well, I started I started skating back probably what I

22:12 Speaker 4: started probably fourteen or fifteen years old, but I had

22:16 Speaker 4: dabbled with it a little bit here and there as

22:18 Speaker 4: when I was younger. I've always been into like individual sports,

22:21 Speaker 4: whether it was swimming, diving, gymnastics. I've always been into

22:25 Speaker 4: some kind of extracurricular activity outside of scholastics.

22:29 Speaker 1: Yeah, and things, but for skating.

22:32 Speaker 4: For as far as skating goes, I've always I've met

22:34 Speaker 4: all my best friends through it. I've had some of

22:37 Speaker 4: the best times of my life on trips and and

22:41 Speaker 4: and and solo times with it too. Because it's a

22:44 Speaker 4: it's an inexpensive activity you can get into. Yeah, almost

22:47 Speaker 4: anyone can do it.

22:49 Speaker 1: I couldn't.

22:51 Speaker 3: Trust me. I'm a klutz. I have the manual dexterity

22:54 Speaker 3: of a bab boon. I'd probably end up in a

22:56 Speaker 3: full body cast if I'd ever tried it.

22:58 Speaker 1: Oh, well, that does well.

23:00 Speaker 4: It does happen where somebody that deals with the uncoordin

23:03 Speaker 4: nature of themselves tries to drop in on a quarter

23:06 Speaker 4: pipe or something and just breaks their arm right out

23:08 Speaker 4: of the gate.

23:09 Speaker 1: Never happened to me. Never happened to me.

23:10 Speaker 3: I fully understand and embrace my limitations. No, but I

23:15 Speaker 3: know what you're saying though, Like there's a low barrier

23:16 Speaker 3: of entry for like, you know, anybody can buy I

23:19 Speaker 3: don't know how much a skateboard even costs, but I'm

23:22 Speaker 3: sure you know you can. You can get a cheap

23:24 Speaker 3: one kind of entry level right to get started.

23:27 Speaker 1: Yeah.

23:27 Speaker 4: Oh absolutely, And I mean and that that's kind of

23:29 Speaker 4: the I mean it. It has gotten definitely more expensive,

23:32 Speaker 4: especially in the last like five years. It's just the

23:35 Speaker 4: nature of the market.

23:36 Speaker 1: Absolutely. Yeah.

23:38 Speaker 4: But outside of that, really, if you if you want

23:41 Speaker 4: to be safe and get pads, especially if you're a

23:43 Speaker 4: kid or you're a good parent. You want to make

23:46 Speaker 4: sure your kid's protected. Yeah, get him everything from risk

23:49 Speaker 4: ards to a helmet, get him full pads. Yeah, and

23:52 Speaker 4: don't let them. Nobody's really going to bully anybody at

23:54 Speaker 4: the skate park anymore. It's not like the nineteen nineties

23:57 Speaker 4: where it was, you know, lame to wear pads. Yeah,

23:59 Speaker 4: now it's it's whatever. It's an opinionated issue. But but

24:03 Speaker 4: for me, I don't mind it. I'd rather I believe

24:05 Speaker 4: in skating safe. I believe skating later into your You know,

24:08 Speaker 4: there's guys that are way older than me that are

24:11 Speaker 4: still skating on a professional level. Really that that not

24:15 Speaker 4: just the big names, but the underground guys and so,

24:20 Speaker 4: you know. But anyway, back to put back to what

24:22 Speaker 4: I was saying. You know, so I started when I

24:25 Speaker 4: was younger, and it's just stayed with me over the years.

24:27 Speaker 4: It stayed with me through many moves all over, not

24:31 Speaker 4: all over the East Coast, but different parts of the

24:33 Speaker 4: East Coast, and it's been interesting the different people I've

24:36 Speaker 4: met and how skating is different in certain places. Some

24:39 Speaker 4: places it's more accessible, there's more parks, like in Maryland

24:44 Speaker 4: as supposed to hear, but up here people are really

24:47 Speaker 4: fighting for new parks to.

24:49 Speaker 1: To be developed.

24:50 Speaker 4: Yeah, and uh, and it's and it's it's it's an

24:53 Speaker 4: uphill battle in a lot of ways.

24:55 Speaker 3: And we we need indo our parks, I assume, right,

24:57 Speaker 3: because because otherwise, for you know, two or three months

25:00 Speaker 3: out of the year, you're kind of screwed.

25:01 Speaker 4: Absolutely, Yeah, you know, And I mean that could be

25:04 Speaker 4: as simple as you know, uh, converting an old warehouse

25:09 Speaker 4: that's not being used into a park.

25:11 Speaker 1: Yeah, you got to.

25:12 Speaker 4: I won't go too much into it because there's a

25:14 Speaker 4: lot of logistics with it, in insurance and and sorts

25:17 Speaker 4: of things. But but yeah, ideally indoor facilities would be

25:21 Speaker 4: great in the Northeast.

25:22 Speaker 3: Yeah, no doubt, no doubt. So so how old were

25:26 Speaker 3: you were you when you started that skateboarding?

25:28 Speaker 1: Fourteen or fifteen? I would say, And.

25:30 Speaker 3: What what got you into it? What was this something

25:32 Speaker 3: where a lot of your peers were doing it?

25:34 Speaker 1: And there was it?

25:36 Speaker 4: Well, I had moved to a new town, yeah, and

25:39 Speaker 4: I didn't have any friends, moved away and from where

25:41 Speaker 4: I was living at and you know, I was doing

25:44 Speaker 4: something different at the time, and the local kids were

25:48 Speaker 4: were not kids, but the local peers there were were

25:52 Speaker 4: all skateboarding.

25:53 Speaker 1: Yeah, so I checked it out and I really liked it.

25:55 Speaker 4: And that would have been around ninety eight or well,

25:58 Speaker 4: that would have been around ninety nine. And at that time,

26:02 Speaker 4: that's when Tony Hawk landed the nine hundred in the

26:05 Speaker 4: X Games, and it was this huge deal and it

26:06 Speaker 4: was on Sports Center, and I mean it was a

26:09 Speaker 4: highly visible moment skateboarding history. And when I saw that,

26:14 Speaker 4: it wasn't the trick that got me interested in skateboarding,

26:17 Speaker 4: and just like the gravity of the moment, but it

26:21 Speaker 4: was watching all of the other professional skateboarders at that

26:25 Speaker 4: Best Trick contest around Tony Hawk shutting. Everything stopped, everyone

26:30 Speaker 4: stopped skating, The contests had basically ended, and everybody was

26:34 Speaker 4: just giving him as much support as possible so that

26:37 Speaker 4: he could get this done.

26:39 Speaker 1: And he did.

26:40 Speaker 4: Yeah, And it really was because of the crowds, enthusiasm,

26:43 Speaker 4: the host, salmas Kela and everybody, and and all the

26:47 Speaker 4: skateboarders around him, you know, being in his corner. And

26:52 Speaker 4: that was something I wanted to be a part of.

26:53 Speaker 4: That's what termed me onto skating interesting.

26:56 Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, so yeah, well that's that's very positive. Is

27:00 Speaker 3: he the most He's got to be, right, the most

27:02 Speaker 3: famous skateboarder.

27:03 Speaker 1: He's definitely the most well known.

27:05 Speaker 3: I know because I see him on Like I never

27:06 Speaker 3: got into skateboarding, but you know, he's ubiquitous and that.

27:10 Speaker 3: You know, he's on the cover of video games and

27:12 Speaker 3: magazines and you know even today.

27:14 Speaker 1: I mean he's and I.

27:15 Speaker 3: Think he also does a he does a podcast with

27:19 Speaker 3: another famous is it Jason Ellis Ellis Jason Ellis called

27:24 Speaker 3: Hawk Versus Wolf? Okay, okay, we'll do an unscheduled plug

27:27 Speaker 3: for that. Yeah, yeah, I've seen that on YouTube, so

27:30 Speaker 3: I'm a little bit familiar with that. Who, Like, are

27:34 Speaker 3: are there other names I might know who were really mainstream?

27:38 Speaker 1: I feel like Tony Hawk as well.

27:41 Speaker 4: One of there's a freestyle skateboarder that that transitioned into

27:44 Speaker 4: streets street skating that's very famous named. His name's Rodney Mullin.

27:48 Speaker 4: He's done a Ted Talk couple, I think a couple

27:50 Speaker 4: of Ted.

27:51 Speaker 1: That name is familiar. Okay.

27:53 Speaker 4: He's a really interesting, uh person, very very smart real yeah,

27:57 Speaker 4: oh definitely, yeah, there's there and and that with Rodney

28:01 Speaker 4: is completely different from Tony and completely different from other

28:04 Speaker 4: influential skateboarders. Yeah, they're all individuals. And that's another thing

28:08 Speaker 4: that I really like about skating. Yeah, it really is.

28:10 Speaker 4: You know, when at that age, being fifteen, I was

28:14 Speaker 4: looking for my identity. At that time, I was not

28:18 Speaker 4: you know, removed from that crisis teenager, and and really

28:25 Speaker 4: it helped me develop so much character, just like it

28:29 Speaker 4: did for these guys.

28:30 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, that makes sense. Did you ever do

28:33 Speaker 3: it professionally.

28:33 Speaker 4: Or never professionally? And honestly, it's because I'm not on

28:37 Speaker 4: that level, but I love it.

28:40 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah.

28:42 Speaker 3: So when you so you started that when when you

28:46 Speaker 3: were pretty young, were there periods in your life where

28:51 Speaker 3: you had gotten away from it completely? And because I'm

28:53 Speaker 3: wondering if that and and did that play a role

28:56 Speaker 3: in kind of those times where things got pretty tough

29:00 Speaker 3: where you were homeless and and so forth, or or or.

29:03 Speaker 1: How does that how does that fit in?

29:05 Speaker 4: Well, Well, there's two answers to that. One is that

29:10 Speaker 4: I have taken a few breaks skateboarding. One was when

29:14 Speaker 4: I was in college and I was I was a

29:17 Speaker 4: psych major and a biology major. Yeah, and it took

29:20 Speaker 4: up a lot of my time. Yeah, very into that

29:23 Speaker 4: and it was very goal oriented and time so I

29:26 Speaker 4: I just didn't have the time for skating. So I

29:28 Speaker 4: kind of just set it aside so that I could

29:30 Speaker 4: focus on being the best student I could be. Yeah,

29:32 Speaker 4: makes sense, mainly because I have all kinds of learning disabilities,

29:35 Speaker 4: so I for sure and outside of that, and and

29:41 Speaker 4: oh and then the other time I took a break

29:43 Speaker 4: for a little while was when I got into martial arts,

29:46 Speaker 4: and so that was something where I still skated from

29:50 Speaker 4: time to time, but most of my free time was

29:53 Speaker 4: just taken up with training. You know.

29:57 Speaker 1: What what what martial arts?

29:59 Speaker 4: What one ti okay and a little bit of judo.

30:03 Speaker 4: It was kind of different things I was.

30:04 Speaker 1: I was.

30:05 Speaker 4: I ended up just falling in with this crowd that

30:07 Speaker 4: did all They were all different, had different martial arts backgrounds.

30:11 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh that's now.

30:12 Speaker 3: The diversity of that of that is interesting because because uh,

30:15 Speaker 3: I used to do for only for about five or

30:17 Speaker 3: six years. I did g kundo and as you know,

30:19 Speaker 3: it's a mix of everything. You know that Bruce Lee

30:21 Speaker 3: kind of put you know, you through everything into the pot.

30:23 Speaker 3: Although we kind of focused on the two things that

30:26 Speaker 3: we did the most of which were my two favorite

30:27 Speaker 3: things were kickboxing and and uh just jiu jitsu you know,

30:31 Speaker 3: which I which I loved. But but no, but it

30:33 Speaker 3: sounds like so you had a like your exposure to

30:36 Speaker 3: it was pretty diverse.

30:37 Speaker 1: So it sounds like, which is cool.

30:39 Speaker 4: Yeah, it definitely was. And it was you know, we

30:42 Speaker 4: we just we all got along.

30:44 Speaker 1: Yeah.

30:44 Speaker 4: There was definitely a competitive nature to it, which made

30:47 Speaker 4: it fun, you know, and and and yeah, and I

30:50 Speaker 4: was kind of their guinea pig. They really just see

30:52 Speaker 4: how techniques would would work out if they performed at

30:54 Speaker 4: full speed with me, and I just would hit the

30:56 Speaker 4: ground hard, you know, yeah hard, you know.

30:59 Speaker 1: I could really I can relate to that.

31:01 Speaker 4: Yeah, I have a lot of respect for that that

31:03 Speaker 4: you studied you can do. I'm a big Bruce Lee fan. Yeah, yeah, absolutely,

31:10 Speaker 4: But yeah, those are those are the two periods of

31:12 Speaker 4: time that I that I paused skateboarding, But when I

31:16 Speaker 4: was homeless, I skateboarded more than that, more than I

31:19 Speaker 4: normally would.

31:19 Speaker 3: Okay, had so when you were homeless, because you talked

31:24 Speaker 3: earlier about you know the importance of not giving up

31:27 Speaker 3: and and being able to uh formulate goals in terms

31:32 Speaker 3: of where you would rather be, where you want to

31:34 Speaker 3: be and getting ultimately getting to a point where you're

31:36 Speaker 3: not going to be in that position again. Had you

31:40 Speaker 3: not had skateboarding, do you think that, I mean, it's

31:45 Speaker 3: you know, it's hypothetical, But had you not had the skateboarding,

31:49 Speaker 3: do you think you would have you would have given up?

31:52 Speaker 3: Do you think you would have fallen into that hole

31:54 Speaker 3: where it's just it's there's no coming back.

31:58 Speaker 4: I think I think for me, I would have I

32:03 Speaker 4: hate to say that I would have crumbled under the pressure.

32:07 Speaker 1: For me, I'm.

32:10 Speaker 4: By nature, I'm a very strong willed, independent person. Yeah,

32:15 Speaker 4: and I it's not that I wasn't going to let

32:19 Speaker 4: those that that situation of being homeless and destitute keep

32:22 Speaker 4: me down.

32:23 Speaker 1: But it was heavy. I mean they were rough times. Yeah. Yeah,

32:28 Speaker 1: could have been a lot worse for sure.

32:30 Speaker 4: But you know, it's like I if I didn't have

32:33 Speaker 4: a car, you know that that would have been I

32:36 Speaker 4: really feel for everyone out there that is experiencing true homelessness.

32:41 Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and you know, but but for me, skating

32:47 Speaker 4: kept me together. It it kept me continuing to be

32:51 Speaker 4: sober from alcohol. I like I personally, thankfully, I've never

32:57 Speaker 4: had a serious narcotic issue problem anything like that. Yeah.

33:03 Speaker 4: But but alcohol is definitely advice yep for me. Yeah,

33:07 Speaker 4: and uh, and it it just it kept me. It

33:11 Speaker 4: kept me, uh, it kept my spirits up. It kept

33:13 Speaker 4: me something to focus on when I would get up

33:15 Speaker 4: in the morning and I would try to prepare things. Yeah,

33:17 Speaker 4: just I basically was sleeping at the skate park. It

33:20 Speaker 4: was a it was a what's called the DIY do

33:23 Speaker 4: it yourself skate park where it's built by like I

33:25 Speaker 4: was one of the people that helped build some things

33:28 Speaker 4: there and and but it was already existing when I

33:31 Speaker 4: got there. Yeah, And so it was a safe place

33:34 Speaker 4: for me to be able to sleep and park my

33:36 Speaker 4: car at night. Oh not a not the worst area,

33:40 Speaker 4: but pretty rough. You got to kind of know where

33:42 Speaker 4: to go.

33:43 Speaker 1: Yeah.

33:43 Speaker 4: Yeah, of course you're where you're staying for the night.

33:46 Speaker 4: And uh yeah, no, but it definitely helped. I mean

33:49 Speaker 4: it was it was my biggest It's been my biggest

33:51 Speaker 4: ally throughout all the challenges I face.

33:54 Speaker 3: Yeah, So what was the would alcohol be the biggest challenge?

33:58 Speaker 1: Is that?

33:59 Speaker 4: No, my own mind is the biggest chance health, well

34:02 Speaker 4: not just mental health, but just getting in my own way,

34:05 Speaker 4: you know, and and letting, letting my my fears and

34:09 Speaker 4: oppositions I feel against me get get too much in

34:13 Speaker 4: the way. Yeah, skateboarding fills me with a fire that

34:16 Speaker 4: helps me push forward through pain, emotional pain especially, and

34:23 Speaker 4: and all the physical lessons that you get taught through skating.

34:25 Speaker 4: And you've you've actually hit on quite a few in

34:28 Speaker 4: this in this broadcast, and you know is one of

34:32 Speaker 4: the one of the main things is that you know

34:35 Speaker 4: when you fall get back up. That's that's one of

34:37 Speaker 4: the biggest.

34:38 Speaker 1: That's true that I get.

34:39 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's interesting you say that because people say that

34:41 Speaker 3: as a cliche, right, it's a it's an expression. But

34:43 Speaker 3: I guess skateboarding teaches you that quite literally, when you

34:47 Speaker 3: fall you get back up.

34:48 Speaker 1: Or anything where you get you know, or I don't know,

34:50 Speaker 1: bull riding or.

34:51 Speaker 3: Anything where you get where you fall, if you have

34:54 Speaker 3: to literally get back up, and you learn to get

34:56 Speaker 3: back up, no matter how painful it is, no matter

34:58 Speaker 3: how hard the fall was, you you learn now you

35:01 Speaker 3: get back up. And I wouldn't have thought of that

35:04 Speaker 3: until you said that. But that's that's very interesting, is there.

35:07 Speaker 3: So I also I would assume and again I've never skateboarded,

35:11 Speaker 3: because uh, it would it would probably kill me. I mean,

35:16 Speaker 3: I'm that clumsy. I actually it hurt myself the other

35:20 Speaker 3: day just putting away my clothes in a in a

35:22 Speaker 3: dress or drawer.

35:23 Speaker 1: I'm not No, it's okay to laugh. It is hilarious.

35:26 Speaker 3: But what's funny is it's like it's not even me

35:28 Speaker 3: trying to be funny, though this literally happened. Like I'm

35:31 Speaker 3: I'm putting clothes, clean clothes in a dress or drawer

35:33 Speaker 3: and putting some shirts in the drawer, and I, you know,

35:35 Speaker 3: I opened the drawer with my right hand. I'm putting

35:37 Speaker 3: the clothes in with my left hand. And somehow in

35:39 Speaker 3: that instance, this is how clumsy I truly am. It

35:42 Speaker 3: didn't occur to me to pull my right hand back.

35:45 Speaker 3: I'm sorry to pull my left hand back out before

35:47 Speaker 3: shutting the drawer with my right hand. So I just

35:48 Speaker 3: shut the drawer on my own hand. I just hurt

35:51 Speaker 3: myself putting away close. That's how clumsy I am. Anyway,

35:55 Speaker 3: I think it's hereditary. I get it from my mother.

35:56 Speaker 3: She's a klutz.

35:58 Speaker 1: But uh so, yeah, so I don't do anything.

36:03 Speaker 3: Where I might get hurt, because I will get although

36:06 Speaker 3: I never got hurt doing gcundo.

36:08 Speaker 1: I was going to ask you about that.

36:09 Speaker 3: You know why, though I think I know I've in

36:11 Speaker 3: fact as clumsy as I am. I've never broken a bone,

36:14 Speaker 3: I've never fractured anything or sprained anything or anything. But

36:17 Speaker 3: I think it's because I'm constantly I'm so cognizant of

36:21 Speaker 3: my own clumsiness that I think it keeps me from

36:23 Speaker 3: seriously injuring myself, you know what I mean, Like, I'm

36:27 Speaker 3: always very cognizant of it. So I even doing even

36:31 Speaker 3: doing g kundo like I I mean, I probably lost

36:35 Speaker 3: every match I ever had against anybody, you know, just sparring.

36:38 Speaker 3: But but I also I was always very cognizant of

36:41 Speaker 3: what not to do to hurt myself. So I think

36:45 Speaker 3: I think that's kept me safe in a sense. But

36:48 Speaker 3: it's like my own sort of mental bubble wrap that

36:50 Speaker 3: I've wrapped myself in, you know, even cutting food. Like

36:53 Speaker 3: if I'm using a knife to cut food, I do

36:54 Speaker 3: it very slowly and deliberately, so I don't cut my

36:57 Speaker 3: fingers off.

36:58 Speaker 1: It's it.

36:59 Speaker 3: But anyway, I would assume though that there's also a

37:02 Speaker 3: kind of a meditative aspect to skateboarding, absolutely, because when

37:07 Speaker 3: you're skateboarding and This is something I don't know if

37:09 Speaker 3: you know this about me, But I'm also a hypnotherapist,

37:11 Speaker 3: and I often talk to you know, because meditation and

37:14 Speaker 3: hypnosis they're you know, they're they're really the same thing.

37:17 Speaker 3: But all hypnosis is meditation, and all all meditation is

37:22 Speaker 3: a form of hypnosis.

37:23 Speaker 1: But when you're.

37:26 Speaker 3: When you're in a meditative state, you know, you're taking

37:29 Speaker 3: yourself out of your present reality and you're you're going

37:32 Speaker 3: to wherever you're going in your mind. And an example

37:34 Speaker 3: that I like to give to people is when you're

37:36 Speaker 3: driving a car. If you drive the same route to

37:39 Speaker 3: work every day, it's actually a state of hypnosis you

37:42 Speaker 3: put yourself in because you're not as you're driving, you're

37:45 Speaker 3: not consciously thinking, Okay, I need to stop here, I

37:48 Speaker 3: need to turn here, I need to accelerate here, or

37:50 Speaker 3: break here. You just do it because you're going a

37:53 Speaker 3: thousand other places in your mind. Over the course of

37:56 Speaker 3: that drive you're taking, you're putting yourself in another place mentally.

38:00 Speaker 3: So I would assume that when you're skateboarding, you're probably

38:04 Speaker 3: not consciously thinking. In the beginning, I'm sure you are,

38:07 Speaker 3: but once you get good at it, you're probably not

38:09 Speaker 3: consciously thinking, Okay, I need to do this, I need

38:12 Speaker 3: to do that, I need to move this way. I

38:13 Speaker 3: don't know the terminology because I'm not a skateboarder. But

38:15 Speaker 3: while your mind is probably going, you might be solving

38:18 Speaker 3: problems in your mind while you're skateboarding, right, You might

38:21 Speaker 3: be setting goals, you might be doing whatever it is

38:23 Speaker 3: you do mentally because you're not necessarily consciously thinking about

38:27 Speaker 3: the skateboarding itself.

38:29 Speaker 4: Yes, well absolutely, And you know you're for me. You know,

38:35 Speaker 4: like I've got a few tricks that I know very

38:37 Speaker 4: very well, and my body automatically knows exactly what to do.

38:40 Speaker 1: I know where to put my feet, muscle memory.

38:42 Speaker 4: Totally, you know, like how much pressure my toes are

38:45 Speaker 4: going to be on the board versus the other parts

38:47 Speaker 4: of my foot.

38:48 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know.

38:51 Speaker 4: And so to that point, one question I have for

38:56 Speaker 4: you is do you do you think that the flow

39:00 Speaker 4: state and a meditative state are one the same thing

39:04 Speaker 4: or are they separate?

39:08 Speaker 1: I think it depends.

39:10 Speaker 3: I think it it well, it depends on what you're

39:14 Speaker 3: what you're doing with the meditation, because meditation is a

39:20 Speaker 3: broader thing than people realize. Like, for example, most people

39:23 Speaker 3: would not think of driving a car as a form

39:26 Speaker 3: of meditation. That's an interesting question though, But I wouldn't.

39:31 Speaker 3: I wouldn't say they're the same thing.

39:34 Speaker 4: What I you know, for me, like the flow state,

39:38 Speaker 4: it's it's hard for me to get into that. Yeah,

39:40 Speaker 4: and I skate because I'm an overthinker. Yeah right, yeah,

39:44 Speaker 4: so I can relate to that. But I definitely it's

39:47 Speaker 4: it does happen. Yeah, it happens when I'm not thinking

39:50 Speaker 4: about it. Yeah, and then all of a sudden, I'm like, wow,

39:52 Speaker 4: I'm really on today, you know. And I will recognize

39:57 Speaker 4: it in other skateboarders. If I spend a lot of

39:59 Speaker 4: time like the Old the old group that I spent

40:01 Speaker 4: a lot of time with back in West Virginia, I

40:03 Speaker 4: would see these specific guys where I.

40:05 Speaker 1: Would know they were on point and they were in

40:07 Speaker 1: that state. Yeah you know.

40:08 Speaker 4: Yeah, And I bet you if they if you ask

40:11 Speaker 4: them what are you thinking about? They're like, I'm not

40:12 Speaker 4: thinking about anything right now. They're just they're just freeze

40:15 Speaker 4: a bird.

40:16 Speaker 1: Right, But they are.

40:18 Speaker 3: But they don't realize it because you're you're never not thinking.

40:23 Speaker 3: But you've raised But yeah, you've raised an interesting question though, Yeah,

40:26 Speaker 3: because people will tell you. See something I can't do

40:30 Speaker 3: is you know the types of the types of meditation

40:34 Speaker 3: of course, where you know you're supposed to clear your

40:36 Speaker 3: mind right of all thought and let everything go.

40:39 Speaker 1: Yep, I don't know how. I don't know how to

40:41 Speaker 1: do that, you know what I mean? Yeah, because but

40:45 Speaker 1: I don't.

40:45 Speaker 3: But my theory is though that most people don't know

40:47 Speaker 3: how to do that, because even if you're sitting there thinking,

40:50 Speaker 3: I'm clearing my mind of all thoughts, well, you're having

40:52 Speaker 3: a thought, you're thinking about clearing your mind, you know

40:54 Speaker 3: what I mean. I don't know, so I don't know

40:56 Speaker 3: if that's even real. Now, anyone who does say trans

41:00 Speaker 3: transcendental meditation or anything, we'll tell you that I'm wrong.

41:02 Speaker 3: But I just I don't know that that's real.

41:05 Speaker 4: Because I think I correct me if I'm wrong. But

41:08 Speaker 4: I think you're supposed to not attach yourself to thoughts

41:10 Speaker 4: coming in when you're trying to get into the meditation

41:12 Speaker 4: stay correct.

41:15 Speaker 1: Well, certain types of meditation.

41:16 Speaker 3: Certainly, I what I tell people because for example, when

41:22 Speaker 3: I'm when I'm bringing somebody into a state of hypnosis

41:24 Speaker 3: and I'm giving them these you know I'm telling them.

41:26 Speaker 3: You know, you're very relaxed, and I'm telling them that,

41:28 Speaker 3: you know, you feel like you're floating or whatever it is.

41:30 Speaker 3: You know, everybody's I'll do different things for different people,

41:33 Speaker 3: but I do give them suggestions that you don't have

41:37 Speaker 3: any intrusive thoughts, you don't have any any worries, any cares.

41:42 Speaker 3: Nothing is distracting you, not sounds, not thoughts, nothing, and

41:46 Speaker 3: you're able to just focus on the moment. But I

41:49 Speaker 3: also tell them something I tell them before I even

41:52 Speaker 3: start the session is if, during the course of the session,

41:55 Speaker 3: if your mind starts to go other places, if you

41:57 Speaker 3: lose track of what I'm saying to you and your

41:59 Speaker 3: mind starts to go elsewhere, you start daydreaming or whatever,

42:03 Speaker 3: just go with it. Just let it happen, because it's

42:06 Speaker 3: it's so it's not about, at least the way I

42:09 Speaker 3: do it. And even you know, hypnosis specifically, there's different

42:12 Speaker 3: ways to do it. But I don't necessarily because I

42:16 Speaker 3: don't want the client to think that, you know, if

42:19 Speaker 3: they start to daydream, if they start to go elsewhere,

42:22 Speaker 3: if something else starts to come in, I don't want

42:24 Speaker 3: them to fight that too much because if you start

42:27 Speaker 3: fighting it, well then you're not, then you're not relaxed, right,

42:33 Speaker 3: So I tell them, you know, just kind of go

42:34 Speaker 3: with it, because whatever happens, just go with it. And

42:38 Speaker 3: just know that even if you lose track of what

42:40 Speaker 3: I'm saying to you, your subconscious mind is still going

42:43 Speaker 3: to record all of it. Okay, Yeah, if that makes sense,

42:49 Speaker 3: I hope. I hope that made sense a way I

42:50 Speaker 3: said that. You know, like You've got me thinking about

42:54 Speaker 3: it in a way that I've never quite thought about before.

42:56 Speaker 3: So that's interesting. I appreciate that.

42:58 Speaker 4: Yeah, And you know, like, well, I'm going to I'm

43:02 Speaker 4: gonna maybe sidetrack the conversation.

43:04 Speaker 1: A little bit. Yeah, that's fine, but we have time.

43:06 Speaker 4: What I what I wanted to say was that one

43:08 Speaker 4: of the ways that I, uh, one of the ways

43:11 Speaker 4: that that I was able to recover mentally a lot

43:14 Speaker 4: from a lot of anguish that I brought with me

43:16 Speaker 4: up here, and how I've gotten stable and all that, Yeah,

43:20 Speaker 4: was doing this kind of delivery work that I was.

43:23 Speaker 4: I'm going to go way back in the beginning of

43:24 Speaker 4: this conversation.

43:25 Speaker 1: Yeah, but.

43:27 Speaker 4: I spend so much time on the road alone in

43:30 Speaker 4: between these deliveries because I wasn't I wasn't doing Amazon delivery,

43:34 Speaker 4: doing pharmaceutical delivery, so like you know, four or five

43:37 Speaker 4: stops you know that are sort of close to each other,

43:40 Speaker 4: then doing payroll. So I but I would have these

43:43 Speaker 4: big windows of time where I'm just alone in the car.

43:45 Speaker 4: I could have music on obviously or whatever, but I

43:48 Speaker 4: spend so much time processing old stuff that I hadn't

43:52 Speaker 4: I hadn't really thought about in a long time, and

43:54 Speaker 4: then current stuff that I brought with me that I

43:56 Speaker 4: really needed to deal with.

43:58 Speaker 1: And I if.

44:01 Speaker 4: I didn't have that job that was so incredibly challenging

44:04 Speaker 4: for me in the beginning, and it's still continued to

44:06 Speaker 4: be challenging to me on a daily basis. It was

44:11 Speaker 4: absolutely what it was probably the best professional experience I've

44:14 Speaker 4: ever had because it allowed me to heal. Spending that

44:17 Speaker 4: time alone the best thing that could have happened.

44:20 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's interesting, and that makes sense.

44:27 Speaker 1: Are you Are you comfortable?

44:29 Speaker 3: So it sounds like you're someone who's comfortable with that,

44:32 Speaker 3: with being alone because some people, some people can't be alone,

44:35 Speaker 3: you know.

44:35 Speaker 4: I honestly, prior to being here, I was never comfortable

44:39 Speaker 4: being alone really and that led to a lot of

44:42 Speaker 4: relationship problems that I had just being in and out

44:44 Speaker 4: of relationships because I wasn't you know, I wasn't present,

44:49 Speaker 4: or I would just have drifting eyes.

44:51 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean. I'm telling you.

44:54 Speaker 4: It's if there's a big piece of advice I could

44:57 Speaker 4: give somebody, is to give if you're dealing with not

45:01 Speaker 4: being able to be alone, force yourself to make give

45:04 Speaker 4: yourself that time. Give yourself a lot of time be alone. Yeah,

45:08 Speaker 4: and you know, take time for yourself, you know, And

45:12 Speaker 4: and heal, heal the wounds within. Yes, And and that's it.

45:16 Speaker 4: And I mean I'm not going to promise that you're

45:18 Speaker 4: going to achieve happiness through that, but you'll definitely have

45:21 Speaker 4: a clearer mind, and you'll be more open to the present,

45:23 Speaker 4: and you'll be more open to what you actually want

45:26 Speaker 4: out of life.

45:26 Speaker 3: Right right, Yeah, absolutely, I think that's uh. I think

45:30 Speaker 3: that's really good advice. So now, how long how long

45:36 Speaker 3: have you been up here?

45:38 Speaker 1: It's a year and it's been almost exactly a year

45:41 Speaker 1: or now not that long?

45:42 Speaker 3: Do you keep in touch with uh people back in

45:45 Speaker 3: West Virginia? Because I know sometimes people when they when

45:48 Speaker 3: they move and they they really kind of turn things around.

45:50 Speaker 3: They want to leave, leave the past, including relationships behind.

45:54 Speaker 3: I mean, do you keep in touch with anybody or

45:56 Speaker 3: have you kind of created some separation there?

45:58 Speaker 1: Well.

45:59 Speaker 4: I try to keep in touch as best I can

46:02 Speaker 4: and I and I and there are a couple of

46:05 Speaker 4: people that that I'm still talking to, probably more now

46:09 Speaker 4: that I'm up here than I did speaking to them

46:11 Speaker 4: when I was there. I've got a friend of mine

46:14 Speaker 4: that lives in Maryland that that that I talked to often,

46:20 Speaker 4: but as far as you know, like ex girlfriends and

46:22 Speaker 4: things like that, not really. And I think it's I

46:26 Speaker 4: think it's important, especially now that I'm in a relationship

46:30 Speaker 4: and I'm in a committed relationship, to turn that page

46:33 Speaker 4: and not not allow myself to to keep the past

46:39 Speaker 4: present super present in my life. That's one way that

46:44 Speaker 4: I've definitely grown through this experience. I definitely was not

46:48 Speaker 4: a very committal person. I wanted to, but I really couldn't.

46:51 Speaker 4: I just didn't have, I guess, the maturity level to

46:54 Speaker 4: do it. But really it was about choices, I think,

46:57 Speaker 4: and you know, moving move into the future, I've just

47:01 Speaker 4: chosen to be the kind of man that I would

47:03 Speaker 4: be proud of and that and and to honor the

47:06 Speaker 4: person that I'm with. Yeah, regardless if it works out

47:09 Speaker 4: or not in the future, right, you know, I believe

47:12 Speaker 4: it will, but say it doesn't. I don't want to

47:14 Speaker 4: have any regrets leaving the relationship that I did something

47:17 Speaker 4: that I definitely could have been preventable. You know, you know,

47:21 Speaker 4: as you know, how do I say that? You know

47:27 Speaker 4: you're going to deal with You're going to deal with

47:30 Speaker 4: attention from the opposite sex, whether you're a man or

47:34 Speaker 4: a woman, and you have to choose where you draw

47:36 Speaker 4: the line in the sand. You don't have to be

47:38 Speaker 4: rude about and say, hey, I have a you know,

47:40 Speaker 4: I'm in a relationship. You don't have to be like that,

47:42 Speaker 4: But just be mature enough and have enough respect for

47:44 Speaker 4: your partner to not not destroy what they're also trying

47:48 Speaker 4: to build with you.

47:49 Speaker 1: That's a good way of putting it. Absolutely.

47:53 Speaker 3: So we're getting a little bit close to the top

47:55 Speaker 3: of the hour, So just a couple of things I

47:57 Speaker 3: want to make sure we we uh we touch on.

47:59 Speaker 1: I mean, are you.

48:00 Speaker 3: What what are you doing now? Is there anything specific

48:04 Speaker 3: that you're doing now to make sure that you remain

48:07 Speaker 3: on this very positive path that you're on.

48:10 Speaker 4: I am I am focusing on a couple of things

48:15 Speaker 4: other than maintaining the employment that I do currently have.

48:20 Speaker 1: I'm doing volunteer work and that's what I was curious about.

48:24 Speaker 1: I want to hear about that.

48:25 Speaker 4: Yeah, and I wasn't sure if I could, if I

48:27 Speaker 4: could say who it is. Oh, absolutely So I do

48:32 Speaker 4: volunteer work and I encourage anybody to come down and

48:35 Speaker 4: support us and what we're doing at Manchester Police Athletics League.

48:41 Speaker 4: I'm one of the coaches on Wednesday for skateboard class.

48:45 Speaker 4: It's it's it's genuinely an excellent experience for for any

48:50 Speaker 4: any ability level of kid that wants to come down

48:54 Speaker 4: and uh, you just come in sign a waivery and

48:57 Speaker 4: you can come in and where there's quite a few

48:59 Speaker 4: of us in there as coaches that can help the

49:01 Speaker 4: little ones or even somebody that's fifteen or sixteen that

49:05 Speaker 4: just wants a safe place to skate indoors. That's super nice. Yeah, Uh,

49:10 Speaker 4: just come on in and support and and and that's

49:14 Speaker 4: one of the things I'm doing.

49:15 Speaker 3: Okay, excellent, Oh that's fantastic.

49:17 Speaker 1: Yeah.

49:18 Speaker 4: And then outside of that, my my dream right now,

49:23 Speaker 4: I don't you can cut me off if you want

49:24 Speaker 4: to with this, but my dream is to is to

49:30 Speaker 4: be in the communications industry here in New Hampshire.

49:33 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah.

49:34 Speaker 4: So that could either be at a television station or

49:36 Speaker 4: at a radio station yep. And so over the next

49:40 Speaker 4: few months, I'm going to try to find the right

49:42 Speaker 4: place to either do internship shadow work, I you know,

49:46 Speaker 4: and I'd like to just get my foot in the

49:48 Speaker 4: door with that. That's what that's honestly what I would

49:52 Speaker 4: like to do moving forward for my life.

49:54 Speaker 3: You've got a good h I'm sure others have told

49:57 Speaker 3: you this too. You've got a good voice for you know,

49:59 Speaker 3: you've got a good deep voice. You know, if you

50:02 Speaker 3: were to do like something in radio or voice over

50:04 Speaker 3: work or anything like that, or a podcast or anything.

50:07 Speaker 1: Uh.

50:07 Speaker 3: I envy your voice. I wish I had. I wish

50:09 Speaker 3: I had a deeper voice. My dad has like a

50:12 Speaker 3: I sound like my dad, but he has a deeper

50:14 Speaker 3: voice than I do. But I think I got stuck

50:16 Speaker 3: with my mother's nose and I think it makes me

50:18 Speaker 3: more nasally, and then i'd like to be it's.

50:21 Speaker 1: Getting deeper as I get older.

50:23 Speaker 3: It's one of the few things better good about getting older,

50:25 Speaker 3: I guess, is my voice is getting deeper.

50:27 Speaker 1: I listened to stuff from ten years ago, and I

50:29 Speaker 1: sound more like this.

50:31 Speaker 3: But uh no, but I but I think I think

50:33 Speaker 3: that's great. And you know, I think, you know, yeah,

50:37 Speaker 3: if I can offer any advice, uh you know, or anything,

50:40 Speaker 3: we you know, we can talk after. But uh no,

50:42 Speaker 3: I think that's a great thing to pursue. And and

50:45 Speaker 3: I think you've got a lot to say that I

50:48 Speaker 3: think can help other people, you know, so so I

50:52 Speaker 3: I really encourage that too, because I think that I

50:55 Speaker 3: think a lot of what you've said here is relatable.

50:58 Speaker 3: I think it's something that actually, you know, homelessness, as

51:01 Speaker 3: as the cost of housing in this country just keeps

51:05 Speaker 3: going up. And and you know, we've seen since you know,

51:08 Speaker 3: post pandemic, rates of homelessness increase everywhere, in some areas

51:12 Speaker 3: more than others. But but I think there's a lot

51:15 Speaker 3: of people out there struggling, and I think you have

51:18 Speaker 3: I think you have a great message. And I think also,

51:21 Speaker 3: you know, not only a great message, but but there's

51:24 Speaker 3: some real substance there in terms of ways to you know,

51:27 Speaker 3: like like skateboarding or or or anything anything physical that

51:33 Speaker 3: helps you in so many ways get out of that

51:36 Speaker 3: mental state that you might be in or you know,

51:39 Speaker 3: or help you to figure out how to solve problems

51:42 Speaker 3: or or or quite literally the getting up when you

51:45 Speaker 3: fall down you know, you know.

51:46 Speaker 4: Well and getting your aggression out too, and that too. Yeah,

51:49 Speaker 4: when you're younger.

51:50 Speaker 3: Absolutely absolutely and doing something positive with all that. So yeah,

51:54 Speaker 3: so I would h I would definitely encourage that. And

51:58 Speaker 3: do you have any just we are we are running

52:01 Speaker 3: short on time, but any any just quick advice for

52:05 Speaker 3: for people who are who are struggling, who are looking

52:08 Speaker 3: for a.

52:08 Speaker 1: Way out, well for a way forward.

52:12 Speaker 4: The best thing to do is, I guess, I guess

52:19 Speaker 4: my best advice is to believe in yourself no matter

52:22 Speaker 4: what situation you're in, no matter how bad things look,

52:27 Speaker 4: they are going to be better on the other side

52:29 Speaker 4: of it. Yeah, get up every day and make just

52:33 Speaker 4: a baby step in the right direction from wherever you're at.

52:39 Speaker 4: Accept help if it's offered, don't just turn it down.

52:43 Speaker 4: Don't be too proud no matter what what your situation is.

52:47 Speaker 4: You know, not just the most destitute of us, but

52:51 Speaker 4: people like me. That was I was still getting up

52:53 Speaker 4: and going to work, but I was living out in

52:54 Speaker 4: my car and no one knew, and some of my

52:57 Speaker 4: friends found out and they're like, okay, you're you're we're

52:59 Speaker 4: going to let you crash on the couch side.

53:03 Speaker 1: And you know it.

53:06 Speaker 4: I I don't have enough time to thank all the

53:08 Speaker 4: people that helped me out back then, but it was

53:12 Speaker 4: because I was accepting their help and I was I

53:16 Speaker 4: was also staying away from from things and people that

53:19 Speaker 4: I knew were going to make things worse. Yeah, and uh,

53:23 Speaker 4: you know, there's so much more that that you and

53:26 Speaker 4: I did not cover about this, and we we we

53:29 Speaker 4: got a little off track on some things. But I

53:31 Speaker 4: really enjoyed this experience. I've never done anything like this before,

53:36 Speaker 4: never been on air. Oh okay, okay, thank you so

53:39 Speaker 4: much for giving me the opportunity.

53:40 Speaker 1: Man. Happy anniversary to yourself.

53:41 Speaker 3: Oh, thank you, Justin, and thank you for joining us,

53:43 Speaker 3: and uh and you know, and thank you to Tone

53:45 Speaker 3: for connecting us. But yeah, I appreciate you being here.

53:48 Speaker 3: This has been very interesting and hopefully it helps somebody too,

53:51 Speaker 3: you know.

53:52 Speaker 4: That's that's that's what I hope. Yeah, just stay positive

53:54 Speaker 4: out there, folks, and you know, be good to each other,

53:57 Speaker 4: help each other.

53:58 Speaker 1: You could.

53:58 Speaker 4: You never know how much of a blessing you can be, Yeah,

54:01 Speaker 4: someone's life. Anybody can be.

54:03 Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely well said, well said, Uh, justin Hunt, thank

54:06 Speaker 3: you so much. And uh if you if you miss

54:09 Speaker 3: any part of today's show, it will be up in

54:10 Speaker 3: just a little bit at wmn hradio dot organ in

54:12 Speaker 3: my website Mattconnorton dot com. And uh, thank you everybody

54:17 Speaker 3: who joined us today. And again, thank you to everybody

54:19 Speaker 3: who else make this possible. It's been been eight years

54:22 Speaker 3: and uh here's.

54:24 Speaker 1: To eight more.

54:25 Speaker 3: And uh we'll leave you with a little bit of

54:27 Speaker 3: this another one of these celebrations songs for for our

54:30 Speaker 3: eight year anniversary. And justin thank you again. And uh,

54:33 Speaker 3: I'm sure we'll do this again in the future. And

54:36 Speaker 3: that's it for me for now. Talk to you all

54:37 Speaker 3: a little bit later, by everybody.

54:39 Speaker 5: Hie as teachers like a little bank you freepost is

54:52 Speaker 5: saying nice bucking le legencity two always loud we covid

54:56 Speaker 5: the storm a revel sap a legend is born from

55:00 Speaker 5: the Santa class crosses the two at least the fire.

55:04 Speaker 6: To bring the turning back flight to shere you'll turn

55:13 Speaker 6: to go down the boat flot cut stop, don't go away.

55:20 Speaker 1: That's Horba.

56:51 Speaker 3: You are listening to W M and H ninety five point.

56:58 Speaker 2: Come in, God, don't get a brief leader, Maxell Goby

57:03 Speaker 2: Dinner