Matt Connarton Unleashed 4-5-25 hour 3

0:00 Speaker 1: W m n H rip the novels you're listening to. W m n H.

0:10 Speaker 2: Command God don't get Supreme Leada Matzell coming.

0:48 Speaker 3: Welcome back everybody as we enter our number three New Marrow trace of Matt Connorton Unleashed and we are live from the studios of w m n H ninety five point three f M and Gloria Manchester, New Hampshire. And of course you can stream the show online from anywhere but to my website Matt Connorton dot com slash live for all of your live streaming options, social media links, contact and post show archives, et.

1:11 Speaker 1: Cetera, et cetera.

1:12 Speaker 3: Today is Saturday, April five, twenty twenty five. And by the way, we are celebrating eight years of Matt Connorton Unleashed as of this week here at WMNH ninety five point three FM. Eight years gone in the blink of an eye, I'll tell you it goes so quick. But very happy to be here this week and joining us live in studio. We have Justin Hunters here. Hello, Justin. Oh, your mic is not on. I apologize. Let's try that again.

1:39 Speaker 1: Test tests. There we go. Sorry about that, all right, Hot Matt.

1:42 Speaker 3: Yeah, today's been it's been an interesting day. Let's just say, I'm glad that we have a live guest here in studio who is on time. It's a great thing. Don't take that for granted people, you know, it's funny now. I'm just I'm being a little funny about it, but we did. I was explaining off air how today has been like the the most uh not smooth, shall we say, day for guests, which is funny because we had a we had a string of shows going for a long time where every single week everybody was on time and it was great and no issue is nothing, and then all of a sudden, Uh, today has just been.

2:21 Speaker 1: Uh.

2:22 Speaker 3: I said something about a full moon and then you said something else I'd never even heard of, and I was like, oh, I don't know, but anyway, so it's wonderful to have you here. And we met through a mutual friend, uh Anthony tone Peyton, and you know, he he occasionally, he's uh sent us a few people actually over the year. Is always always very interesting, so you know, uh he recommended you. So that's uh that was enough for me to say, hey, let's let's catch you on you know, because uh, I know you've got a story to tell.

2:49 Speaker 3: I know you've been through some things. I don't know too much because, as you know, I like to not know too much going in because you know, I like to be I like to approach the conversation with curiosity. I think that's that's part of what helps me as an interviewer to do that. But yeah, I mean, tell us about yourself and we'll we'll start there.

3:09 Speaker 4: Well, I'm originally from West Virginia. Moved up to New Hampshire back last April, okay, and went through some very hard times towards the end of my stay in West Virginia. Although I miss it, I'm glad that I made the move up here and basically went through. What I'll get into on the show is my about with homelessness and how I when I moved up here, was able to achieve stability through staying staying in the same job. It put me back on my feet. I got a new support system around me because the old support systems all the way down there.

3:54 Speaker 4: And while I stayed in contact with with everyone that was, you know, really helping me out and and just people I was close to. It's it's been an interesting transition, and my life has become very different, and I've become very different because of because of the entire process.

4:12 Speaker 3: So what was it they brought you so West Virginia, that's where you're from originally, So what brought you from there?

4:17 Speaker 1: To hear it?

4:18 Speaker 3: I mean, do you like being cold in the winter or what?

4:22 Speaker 4: Well, the weather, the weather is something I've had to get used to. But it gets it gets pretty cold down there too. Oh yeah, well for sure, definitely gets more human in the summer, That's.

4:33 Speaker 1: What I've heard. Yeah.

4:34 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've never been there in the summertime. I've been in that area, but not in the summertime.

4:38 Speaker 1: Yeah.

4:38 Speaker 4: But but but yeah, it for for I'm losing my train of thought for for me, you know, back back to what I was saying, basically, uh, when I when I got up here, you know, I I basically immediately started looking for a job, and not just any job, but a good full time job, something that I knew that I would that would take up most of my time really and started doing.

5:13 Speaker 1: Basically a delivery work.

5:15 Speaker 4: And it it thrust me into this mode where you know, I was I had to I had to come into work every day, and that was not something I was doing prior to this. I was very unreliable for many years, spotty background as far as my career and stuff like and work, and I just I just made as many changes as I possibly could to become a I don't want to say a true adult, but you know, to mature as a person.

5:41 Speaker 1: Sure.

5:42 Speaker 4: And so after doing that, this job got me in really good physical condition. I quit a lot of vices that I had coming up here. Nothing too bad, but just you know, just wasting my own time most of the time instead of spending it productively, you know, getting myself a stack published and yeah, you know. And so so by doing that in any less than a year, I was able to turn my life completely around. An apartment, got a new car, and uh, you know, and and I'm much happier.

6:15 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, it's it's very it's very very different. Yeah.

6:19 Speaker 3: So so coming up here. So so you were able to really turn things around.

6:24 Speaker 1: You know.

6:24 Speaker 3: What's interesting to me about that is because a lot of people will say, and I'm I'm sure some people will.

6:31 Speaker 1: Wonder, you know, how like, what was it about it?

6:35 Speaker 3: There was about being here that helped you to do that? Because the Northeast is expensive, and I don't I don't know what it's like in West Virginia exactly, but I would assume the cost of living is less there than here, absolutely, especially when you talk about housing, you know, and and housing is a problem all over the country, but certainly especially in the Northeast. So so that's interesting to me that like, like why, like why were you able to do that here and not there?

7:03 Speaker 1: And what was it that you really Because the other thing.

7:07 Speaker 3: That's interesting about this too is that sometimes people move. I've known a lot of people who've packed up and moved to a new place because they think that if they do that, you know, that it's going to help them solve all their problems. And I and then I look at them and I say, well, you know, there can be value in that for people. Sure, a new environment in some instances, But sometimes two people do that and then they realize, oh, my problems are portable. I have all the same problems here that I had there.

7:40 Speaker 3: I took them with me.

7:41 Speaker 1: Oops.

7:43 Speaker 3: You know, people, because sometimes people trick themselves into thinking, you know, new environment, I'm going to be a completely different person because I'm in a new place, and it doesn't tend to work that way. But in your case, I mean, you took that and you you made that work.

7:57 Speaker 1: Like why, Well, that's a good question.

8:01 Speaker 4: And I'll start by saying this that one of the reasons that I came up here is that I have family up here. Yeah, and I got to the point of getting I just got burnt out trying to do everything by myself. You know, I just I knew that I could get to that place mentally, and and you know in life once I once I got myself established, but I really needed to lean on my family. And so you know, I I contacted my dad who lives in New Hampshire, and I told him what was going on that you know, here's the second time around where I'm facing homeless homelessness had a break down in the situation that I was in.

8:45 Speaker 4: Here we go again, And he said, well, why don't you just come up justin And you know, a few years prior to that, I had kind of planned on moving back to New Hampshire or moving up to New Hampshire and to just basically spend more time with him too, to spend more time with my father. Yeah, and so I said, all right, you know, what, I'm just going to do it. And you know, I've I've I've moved before and you know, and and so it always kind of just works out, you know, but you got to take the staffs, YadA, YadA, YadA.

9:11 Speaker 4: But of course, but anyway, so I so I did that, and with he was a big part of the support system that I had. And it wasn't that he did anything I don't want to say extravagant. It was just having having his presence and the pressure of having my father as an adult, I'm going to be forwarding in another week, and uh, you know, and I I just I just didn't want to let him down. And having that pressure really helped me to just honestly get up for work every single day and and just do what I needed to do.

9:43 Speaker 4: And then by the end of the day, I was dog tired, and he was dog tired because he's still working at that time.

9:49 Speaker 1: Sure, sure, you know.

9:50 Speaker 4: Retired, but finding things to do, and it just was it was something that I hadn't experienced in many years. I've been a strange from my face only for a while, and being able to come back up here, uh uh and spend that kind of spend that kind of time with my dad and and do these these essential steps to get myself you know going, you know is is really what is really?

10:15 Speaker 1: What did it? Yeah?

10:17 Speaker 3: Sometimes I think, you know, having somebody believe in you is uh, because I think a lot of people who fall through the cracks, you know what happens because no one. It's hard to believe in yourself if nobody else believes in you, and your dad obviously did believe in you.

10:36 Speaker 1: Yeah, And then so when.

10:37 Speaker 3: Someone believes in you, yeah, you feel I think you described it well when you talked about that pressure when somebody believes in you, you don't want to because human beings to varying degrees. But I think something that is in most people is we don't like letting people other We don't like letting other people down. We don't like disappointing people, so we try not to. So if nobody believes in you, then it really doesn't matter in the sense that well you have no you know, you can you can let yourself down.

11:06 Speaker 3: People are people almost are more comfortable with letting themselves down than with letting other people down. Right, So if you if you have no one to let down, then what does it matter, right. I think that's the mindset that a lot of people get to. But if you have someone who believes in you, even if it's only a little bit, that can make a huge difference because then you don't want to let them down. You don't want them to feel you don't want them to feel foolish forever having believed in you.

11:29 Speaker 3: You don't want uh yeah, you don't want them to be upset with you. All of it, All that goes with that. So it sounds like having your father believe in you, that gave you a reason to make sure that you didn't fail.

11:42 Speaker 1: Well, that's right.

11:43 Speaker 4: And you know another another part of it too is accepting the help, and it's I think it's a lot harder. I mean, in might say my twenties, it would it would be easier for me to or even younger, it'd be easier to accept help. But admitting that I couldn't, I couldn't go on on my own anymore, yeap, really hard. And and I'm glad that I I just admitted and what would you say, uh, you know, confronted these things about myself and said okay, I need help, and and and took the help and then made the steps on my own.

12:16 Speaker 4: But yeah, the pressure, it's it. I think it's important to use pressure and fear to your advantage and and know that it's your friend. It's you know, it's it's it's a it's an extremely powerful force that can motivate you in the right direction.

12:34 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, absolutely, I think we tend to think of.

12:40 Speaker 1: Some people. I think tend to think of.

12:41 Speaker 3: Well, you know, fear is is bad and you should have no fear and and you know, I think the way the way you put it is good because it can be your friend. I mean, obviously fear, you know, you don't want to go through life afraid of everything. And of course fear can be extremely harmful. Fear can keep you from achieving things because fear can stop you from trying things right, you know. But I think also, yeah, it can be your friend, and that you know, fear of you know, fear, for example, use fear to motivate you in terms of achieving financial objectives because you have a maybe you have a fear of being homeless again, or or a fear of starving, or you know, or a fear of letting other people down, and so so any of these things can be can be positive.

13:33 Speaker 1: Fear pressure, stress.

13:34 Speaker 3: You know, people talk about stress and people say, oh, you know, I just want to not have any stress. Well, you actually do want to have a little bit of stress. You don't want to have stress to the point where it's unhealthy. But some stress is good. Some stress is positive because you want to be challenged, you don't. You know, people say, oh, I just want everything to be easy. Yeah, people think they want everything to be easy.

13:55 Speaker 1: You don't want.

13:55 Speaker 3: Everything to be too hard, But you don't want everything to be too easy either. Because of the way humans are, the way we're wired, the way we're conditioned, we do need some degree of challenge in our lives. Otherwise we get bored, we get complacent. I think humans are like sharks. When we stop moving, we die.

14:14 Speaker 1: You know. That's why people who.

14:17 Speaker 3: For example, it's a little bit of a side street, but there's no shortage of data that shows that people who retire and just retire completely, like they don't stay active and passionate about something die earlier than people who retire from whatever their full time career was. But they still have things that excite them. Maybe they work a part time job, maybe they find a new career. Maybe they volunteer somewhere. You know, in New Hampshire, a lot of people, you know, because it doesn't pay money to be a state rep.

14:53 Speaker 3: And New I think they get one hundred dollars stipend. But you know, to serve in the New Hampshire state legislature, it doesn't. It's not a paying job. It is in both states. So you know, uh, some people who retire they run for office. But but you have to have purpose and and so you have to have some degree of stress and pressure and what you describe as using those things in a positive way to help you succeed. Ego is another great example. You know, people say, well, ego is bad, you shouldn't have, you know, too much ego.

15:24 Speaker 3: You can have unhealthy ego. You can have outsized ego where you know you think you're better and smarter than everybody. Or you can have an unhealthily, unhealthfully small ego where you have low self esteem. You know, those are both bad, but having some degree of ego will help you to succeed in life because you know, you've got to believe in yourself, right right, Yeah, So I think what you've described for examples where you can take those things that people think are negative, like stress and ego and all of it.

15:54 Speaker 3: But but those can be your friend and and you can use those in healthy ways.

15:58 Speaker 4: Yes, well, well, and this brings this brings me to another point. That one when I the first time that year that I became homeless, I I was basically sleeping out of my car at the at the skate park. Basically I spent a lot of my time there, and I can get into that later about skating a long time and all that. And I wrote on the top of the vinyl of the that there's there's no bell coming to save you. Nobody is coming to help you. And I was completely I was in this really interesting moment that I'll never forget in my life that I was just completely isolated by myself, no one to call, no one.

16:44 Speaker 4: It was just me alone in this situation. And luckily, luckily, I you know, took that as a good moment. I didn't let it defeat me. I didn't do anything poorly drastic. I think that I think that for me personally when I when I was dealing with being homeless. And this doesn't speak for everybody, but for me, what I learned in these moments of frustration and just being devastated by where I was at? Is it just to keep pushing forward? You have to keep moving forward and use that pressure to fuel you.

17:26 Speaker 4: You've got to have some kind of dream that's bigger than just the basics. It's almost like kind of like people have their one year plan and they have their three to five year plan. And for me to equate that to when I'm talking about it, it's that you have the bare minimum stuff, you know, get get stable, get out of your you know, I was like living out of my car at the time, So get out of living in your car. And then where do you really want to go? Where would you what would get you to a position whether you would never be in this situation again, whether you have whether you have a strong support system or or whatever around you, and how do you achieve that?

18:05 Speaker 4: And then just start kind of making the strides forward in both those directions. Yeah, use your time wisely and keep yourself busy in that way. That was how I blossifized about it again.

18:15 Speaker 3: Now, how did you how did you end up in that situation?

18:17 Speaker 1: To begin with? What what led to that? Well?

18:20 Speaker 4: Years back, I had a lot of mental health issues that kept me, kept me in and out of jobs. Yeah, I was, Like I said, I was very unreliable.

18:28 Speaker 1: Now I was. I was good.

18:29 Speaker 4: I was an easy person to get along with it work, but it was very challenging for me for for me to get myself to go to work every day. So that was a big thing. And you know, I would have stints where, you know, for a week, I would I wouldn't be able to go to work, I wouldn't be able to leave my apartment.

18:45 Speaker 1: You know. And it was it was it depression, it was more, it was more than that.

18:50 Speaker 4: It was more than that, and it was it was it was debilitating in that way that I where I had to at that time. That was my biggest struggle is my mental health issues.

18:58 Speaker 1: Yeah.

18:58 Speaker 4: And I've made, you know, great strides over the years through through different resources, different help, but it's a lot of it has been self help that I've done to be able to just the bare minimum get out of bed blah blah blah blah blah. Yeah and all that. But that's that's what I was dealing with back then.

19:18 Speaker 1: Okay.

19:18 Speaker 3: Oh, by the way, Jenny made a great comment in the chat. She said, fear can be the birthplace of courage. Yeah, oh, absolutely absolutely, I agree.

19:27 Speaker 1: Oh and beat Pinardi is in there too.

19:28 Speaker 3: By the way, Hello b she says, good morning everyone. So it was more than so, it was more than depress. The reason I asked about the depression is because I can. I can relate to some of what you were describing when it's difficult, like you know what you have to do, but it's difficult to do it. I'm someone who's I'm I'm technically undiagnosed, but I've struggled with what I believe to be clinical depression my entire life, or at least going back to when I was a teenager. So I know that sometimes you know, they're things that you know you should be doing that are good for you.

20:02 Speaker 3: It becomes like, you know, where it becomes a catch twenty two is with exercise, because there's no shortage of data and research that shows that exercise is the single best way to fight depression, even you know, better than any pill you can take. And I'm not anti medication. I'm not medicated myself, but but I think medication is valuable for a lot of people. But exercise is the number one thing. But where it becomes a catch Twenty two. Is that thing that you know is going to help you to feel better, you know, to get up and go for a run or go for a walk or whatever it is.

20:35 Speaker 3: It's hard to find the motivation to do that one thing when you're so depressed that you don't feel like doing anything, and it almost feels like like you're like you're just stuck, you know, just completely stuck.

20:51 Speaker 4: Right, Yeah, well, no, you're right about that, right about that.

20:57 Speaker 1: And I and I'm not anti medication either. Yeah.

21:00 Speaker 4: I I've been on and off medication at different points in my life. And uh, and sometimes it's helpful, sometimes a backfires. Sometimes you have to you have to figure out what the right combination is for you, depending on what kind of concerns you have or health issues you're dealing with. And you know, and and and that's why it's hard to stay on medications for a lot of people because they don't want to deal with side effects and I don't want to deal with the conjunctions of the medications working against.

21:26 Speaker 1: Each other sometimes.

21:27 Speaker 4: Yeah, and uh, you know, but but to your point, absolutely, exercise in almost in any form, is a good thing. Yep, you know, for people that have that are high tempered. You know, combat sports are great for me. It's been skateboarding. I've been skateboarding for over probably over twenty five years.

21:47 Speaker 1: I think about it. I've just I just will not.

21:50 Speaker 4: I can't quit it, even though my body kind of wants me to stop at this point, I just don't.

21:55 Speaker 1: I love it so much.

21:56 Speaker 4: Yeah, I've seen it change so many lives, including mine.

22:00 Speaker 3: Well, yeah, so I'm curious about that. I'm curious about the role that that's played.

22:03 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, you alluded to it earlier. Yes, Oh, I'd love to talk about yeah. Yeah, please.

22:09 Speaker 4: Well, I started I started skating back probably what I started probably fourteen or fifteen years old, but I had dabbled with it a little bit here and there as when I was younger. I've always been into like individual sports, whether it was swimming, diving, gymnastics. I've always been into some kind of extracurricular activity outside of scholastics.

22:29 Speaker 1: Yeah, and things, but for skating.

22:32 Speaker 4: For as far as skating goes, I've always I've met all my best friends through it. I've had some of the best times of my life on trips and and and and solo times with it too. Because it's a it's an inexpensive activity you can get into. Yeah, almost anyone can do it.

22:49 Speaker 1: I couldn't.

22:51 Speaker 3: Trust me. I'm a klutz. I have the manual dexterity of a bab boon. I'd probably end up in a full body cast if I'd ever tried it.

22:58 Speaker 1: Oh, well, that does well.

23:00 Speaker 4: It does happen where somebody that deals with the uncoordin nature of themselves tries to drop in on a quarter pipe or something and just breaks their arm right out of the gate.

23:09 Speaker 1: Never happened to me. Never happened to me.

23:10 Speaker 3: I fully understand and embrace my limitations. No, but I know what you're saying though, Like there's a low barrier of entry for like, you know, anybody can buy I don't know how much a skateboard even costs, but I'm sure you know you can. You can get a cheap one kind of entry level right to get started.

23:27 Speaker 1: Yeah.

23:27 Speaker 4: Oh absolutely, And I mean and that that's kind of the I mean it. It has gotten definitely more expensive, especially in the last like five years. It's just the nature of the market.

23:36 Speaker 1: Absolutely. Yeah.

23:38 Speaker 4: But outside of that, really, if you if you want to be safe and get pads, especially if you're a kid or you're a good parent. You want to make sure your kid's protected. Yeah, get him everything from risk ards to a helmet, get him full pads. Yeah, and don't let them. Nobody's really going to bully anybody at the skate park anymore. It's not like the nineteen nineties where it was, you know, lame to wear pads. Yeah, now it's it's whatever. It's an opinionated issue. But but for me, I don't mind it.

24:04 Speaker 4: I'd rather I believe in skating safe. I believe skating later into your You know, there's guys that are way older than me that are still skating on a professional level. Really that that not just the big names, but the underground guys and so, you know. But anyway, back to put back to what I was saying. You know, so I started when I was younger, and it's just stayed with me over the years. It stayed with me through many moves all over, not all over the East Coast, but different parts of the East Coast, and it's been interesting the different people I've met and how skating is different in certain places.

24:39 Speaker 4: Some places it's more accessible, there's more parks, like in Maryland as supposed to hear, but up here people are really fighting for new parks to.

24:49 Speaker 1: To be developed.

24:50 Speaker 4: Yeah, and uh, and it's and it's it's it's an uphill battle in a lot of ways.

24:55 Speaker 3: And we we need indo our parks, I assume, right, because because otherwise, for you know, two or three months out of the year, you're kind of screwed.

25:01 Speaker 4: Absolutely, Yeah, you know, And I mean that could be as simple as you know, uh, converting an old warehouse that's not being used into a park.

25:11 Speaker 1: Yeah, you got to.

25:12 Speaker 4: I won't go too much into it because there's a lot of logistics with it, in insurance and and sorts of things. But but yeah, ideally indoor facilities would be great in the Northeast.

25:22 Speaker 3: Yeah, no doubt, no doubt. So so how old were you were you when you started that skateboarding?

25:28 Speaker 1: Fourteen or fifteen? I would say, And.

25:30 Speaker 3: What what got you into it? What was this something where a lot of your peers were doing it?

25:34 Speaker 1: And there was it?

25:36 Speaker 4: Well, I had moved to a new town, yeah, and I didn't have any friends, moved away and from where I was living at and you know, I was doing something different at the time, and the local kids were were not kids, but the local peers there were were all skateboarding.

25:53 Speaker 1: Yeah, so I checked it out and I really liked it.

25:55 Speaker 4: And that would have been around ninety eight or well, that would have been around ninety nine. And at that time, that's when Tony Hawk landed the nine hundred in the X Games, and it was this huge deal and it was on Sports Center, and I mean it was a highly visible moment skateboarding history. And when I saw that, it wasn't the trick that got me interested in skateboarding, and just like the gravity of the moment, but it was watching all of the other professional skateboarders at that Best Trick contest around Tony Hawk shutting.

26:28 Speaker 4: Everything stopped, everyone stopped skating, The contests had basically ended, and everybody was just giving him as much support as possible so that he could get this done.

26:39 Speaker 1: And he did.

26:40 Speaker 4: Yeah, And it really was because of the crowds, enthusiasm, the host, salmas Kela and everybody, and and all the skateboarders around him, you know, being in his corner. And that was something I wanted to be a part of. That's what termed me onto skating interesting.

26:56 Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, so yeah, well that's that's very positive. Is he the most He's got to be, right, the most famous skateboarder.

27:03 Speaker 1: He's definitely the most well known.

27:05 Speaker 3: I know because I see him on Like I never got into skateboarding, but you know, he's ubiquitous and that. You know, he's on the cover of video games and magazines and you know even today.

27:14 Speaker 1: I mean he's and I.

27:15 Speaker 3: Think he also does a he does a podcast with another famous is it Jason Ellis Ellis Jason Ellis called Hawk Versus Wolf? Okay, okay, we'll do an unscheduled plug for that. Yeah, yeah, I've seen that on YouTube, so I'm a little bit familiar with that. Who, Like, are are there other names I might know who were really mainstream?

27:38 Speaker 1: I feel like Tony Hawk as well.

27:41 Speaker 4: One of there's a freestyle skateboarder that that transitioned into streets street skating that's very famous named. His name's Rodney Mullin. He's done a Ted Talk couple, I think a couple of Ted.

27:51 Speaker 1: That name is familiar. Okay.

27:53 Speaker 4: He's a really interesting, uh person, very very smart real yeah, oh definitely, yeah, there's there and and that with Rodney is completely different from Tony and completely different from other influential skateboarders. Yeah, they're all individuals. And that's another thing that I really like about skating. Yeah, it really is. You know, when at that age, being fifteen, I was looking for my identity. At that time, I was not you know, removed from that crisis teenager, and and really it helped me develop so much character, just like it did for these guys.

28:30 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, no, that makes sense. Did you ever do it professionally.

28:33 Speaker 4: Or never professionally? And honestly, it's because I'm not on that level, but I love it.

28:40 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah.

28:42 Speaker 3: So when you so you started that when when you were pretty young, were there periods in your life where you had gotten away from it completely? And because I'm wondering if that and and did that play a role in kind of those times where things got pretty tough where you were homeless and and so forth, or or or.

29:03 Speaker 1: How does that how does that fit in?

29:05 Speaker 4: Well, Well, there's two answers to that. One is that I have taken a few breaks skateboarding. One was when I was in college and I was I was a psych major and a biology major. Yeah, and it took up a lot of my time. Yeah, very into that and it was very goal oriented and time so I I just didn't have the time for skating. So I kind of just set it aside so that I could focus on being the best student I could be. Yeah, makes sense, mainly because I have all kinds of learning disabilities, so I for sure and outside of that, and and oh and then the other time I took a break for a little while was when I got into martial arts, and so that was something where I still skated from time to time, but most of my free time was just taken up with training.

29:55 Speaker 4: You know.

29:57 Speaker 1: What what what martial arts?

29:59 Speaker 4: What one ti okay and a little bit of judo. It was kind of different things I was.

30:04 Speaker 1: I was.

30:05 Speaker 4: I ended up just falling in with this crowd that did all They were all different, had different martial arts backgrounds.

30:11 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh that's now.

30:12 Speaker 3: The diversity of that of that is interesting because because uh, I used to do for only for about five or six years. I did g kundo and as you know, it's a mix of everything. You know that Bruce Lee kind of put you know, you through everything into the pot. Although we kind of focused on the two things that we did the most of which were my two favorite things were kickboxing and and uh just jiu jitsu you know, which I which I loved. But but no, but it sounds like so you had a like your exposure to it was pretty diverse.

30:37 Speaker 1: So it sounds like, which is cool.

30:39 Speaker 4: Yeah, it definitely was. And it was you know, we we just we all got along.

30:44 Speaker 1: Yeah.

30:44 Speaker 4: There was definitely a competitive nature to it, which made it fun, you know, and and and yeah, and I was kind of their guinea pig. They really just see how techniques would would work out if they performed at full speed with me, and I just would hit the ground hard, you know, yeah hard, you know.

30:59 Speaker 1: I could really I can relate to that.

31:01 Speaker 4: Yeah, I have a lot of respect for that that you studied you can do. I'm a big Bruce Lee fan. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, But yeah, those are those are the two periods of time that I that I paused skateboarding, But when I was homeless, I skateboarded more than that, more than I normally would.

31:19 Speaker 3: Okay, had so when you were homeless, because you talked earlier about you know the importance of not giving up and and being able to uh formulate goals in terms of where you would rather be, where you want to be and getting ultimately getting to a point where you're not going to be in that position again. Had you not had skateboarding, do you think that, I mean, it's you know, it's hypothetical, But had you not had the skateboarding, do you think you would have you would have given up? Do you think you would have fallen into that hole where it's just it's there's no coming back.

31:58 Speaker 4: I think I think for me, I would have I hate to say that I would have crumbled under the pressure.

32:07 Speaker 1: For me, I'm.

32:10 Speaker 4: By nature, I'm a very strong willed, independent person. Yeah, and I it's not that I wasn't going to let those that that situation of being homeless and destitute keep me down.

32:23 Speaker 1: But it was heavy. I mean they were rough times. Yeah. Yeah, could have been a lot worse for sure.

32:30 Speaker 4: But you know, it's like I if I didn't have a car, you know that that would have been I really feel for everyone out there that is experiencing true homelessness. Oh yeah, and you know, but but for me, skating kept me together. It it kept me continuing to be sober from alcohol. I like I personally, thankfully, I've never had a serious narcotic issue problem anything like that. Yeah. But but alcohol is definitely advice yep for me. Yeah, and uh, and it it just it kept me. It kept me, uh, it kept my spirits up.

33:13 Speaker 4: It kept me something to focus on when I would get up in the morning and I would try to prepare things. Yeah, just I basically was sleeping at the skate park. It was a it was a what's called the DIY do it yourself skate park where it's built by like I was one of the people that helped build some things there and and but it was already existing when I got there. Yeah, And so it was a safe place for me to be able to sleep and park my car at night. Oh not a not the worst area, but pretty rough. You got to kind of know where to go.

33:43 Speaker 1: Yeah.

33:43 Speaker 4: Yeah, of course you're where you're staying for the night. And uh yeah, no, but it definitely helped. I mean it was it was my biggest It's been my biggest ally throughout all the challenges I face.

33:54 Speaker 3: Yeah, So what was the would alcohol be the biggest challenge?

33:58 Speaker 1: Is that?

33:59 Speaker 4: No, my own mind is the biggest chance health, well not just mental health, but just getting in my own way, you know, and and letting, letting my my fears and oppositions I feel against me get get too much in the way. Yeah, skateboarding fills me with a fire that helps me push forward through pain, emotional pain especially, and and all the physical lessons that you get taught through skating. And you've you've actually hit on quite a few in this in this broadcast, and you know is one of the one of the main things is that you know when you fall get back up.

34:36 Speaker 4: That's that's one of the biggest.

34:38 Speaker 1: That's true that I get.

34:39 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's interesting you say that because people say that as a cliche, right, it's a it's an expression. But I guess skateboarding teaches you that quite literally, when you fall you get back up.

34:48 Speaker 1: Or anything where you get you know, or I don't know, bull riding or.

34:51 Speaker 3: Anything where you get where you fall, if you have to literally get back up, and you learn to get back up, no matter how painful it is, no matter how hard the fall was, you you learn now you get back up. And I wouldn't have thought of that until you said that. But that's that's very interesting, is there. So I also I would assume and again I've never skateboarded, because uh, it would it would probably kill me. I mean, I'm that clumsy. I actually it hurt myself the other day just putting away my clothes in a in a dress or drawer.

35:23 Speaker 1: I'm not No, it's okay to laugh. It is hilarious.

35:26 Speaker 3: But what's funny is it's like it's not even me trying to be funny, though this literally happened. Like I'm I'm putting clothes, clean clothes in a dress or drawer and putting some shirts in the drawer, and I, you know, I opened the drawer with my right hand. I'm putting the clothes in with my left hand. And somehow in that instance, this is how clumsy I truly am. It didn't occur to me to pull my right hand back. I'm sorry to pull my left hand back out before shutting the drawer with my right hand.

35:48 Speaker 3: So I just shut the drawer on my own hand. I just hurt myself putting away close. That's how clumsy I am. Anyway, I think it's hereditary. I get it from my mother. She's a klutz.

35:58 Speaker 1: But uh so, yeah, so I don't do anything.

36:03 Speaker 3: Where I might get hurt, because I will get although I never got hurt doing gcundo.

36:08 Speaker 1: I was going to ask you about that.

36:09 Speaker 3: You know why, though I think I know I've in fact as clumsy as I am. I've never broken a bone, I've never fractured anything or sprained anything or anything. But I think it's because I'm constantly I'm so cognizant of my own clumsiness that I think it keeps me from seriously injuring myself, you know what I mean, Like, I'm always very cognizant of it. So I even doing even doing g kundo like I I mean, I probably lost every match I ever had against anybody, you know, just sparring. But but I also I was always very cognizant of what not to do to hurt myself.

36:44 Speaker 3: So I think I think that's kept me safe in a sense. But it's like my own sort of mental bubble wrap that I've wrapped myself in, you know, even cutting food. Like if I'm using a knife to cut food, I do it very slowly and deliberately, so I don't cut my fingers off.

36:58 Speaker 1: It's it.

36:59 Speaker 3: But anyway, I would assume though that there's also a kind of a meditative aspect to skateboarding, absolutely, because when you're skateboarding and This is something I don't know if you know this about me, But I'm also a hypnotherapist, and I often talk to you know, because meditation and hypnosis they're you know, they're they're really the same thing. But all hypnosis is meditation, and all all meditation is a form of hypnosis.

37:23 Speaker 1: But when you're.

37:26 Speaker 3: When you're in a meditative state, you know, you're taking yourself out of your present reality and you're you're going to wherever you're going in your mind. And an example that I like to give to people is when you're driving a car. If you drive the same route to work every day, it's actually a state of hypnosis you put yourself in because you're not as you're driving, you're not consciously thinking, Okay, I need to stop here, I need to turn here, I need to accelerate here, or break here. You just do it because you're going a thousand other places in your mind.

37:55 Speaker 3: Over the course of that drive you're taking, you're putting yourself in another place mentally. So I would assume that when you're skateboarding, you're probably not consciously thinking. In the beginning, I'm sure you are, but once you get good at it, you're probably not consciously thinking, Okay, I need to do this, I need to do that, I need to move this way. I don't know the terminology because I'm not a skateboarder. But while your mind is probably going, you might be solving problems in your mind while you're skateboarding, right, You might be setting goals, you might be doing whatever it is you do mentally because you're not necessarily consciously thinking about the skateboarding itself.

38:29 Speaker 4: Yes, well absolutely, And you know you're for me. You know, like I've got a few tricks that I know very very well, and my body automatically knows exactly what to do.

38:40 Speaker 1: I know where to put my feet, muscle memory.

38:42 Speaker 4: Totally, you know, like how much pressure my toes are going to be on the board versus the other parts of my foot.

38:48 Speaker 1: Yeah, and you know.

38:51 Speaker 4: And so to that point, one question I have for you is do you do you think that the flow state and a meditative state are one the same thing or are they separate?

39:08 Speaker 1: I think it depends.

39:10 Speaker 3: I think it it well, it depends on what you're what you're doing with the meditation, because meditation is a broader thing than people realize. Like, for example, most people would not think of driving a car as a form of meditation. That's an interesting question though, But I wouldn't. I wouldn't say they're the same thing.

39:34 Speaker 4: What I you know, for me, like the flow state, it's it's hard for me to get into that. Yeah, and I skate because I'm an overthinker. Yeah right, yeah, so I can relate to that. But I definitely it's it does happen. Yeah, it happens when I'm not thinking about it. Yeah, and then all of a sudden, I'm like, wow, I'm really on today, you know. And I will recognize it in other skateboarders. If I spend a lot of time like the Old the old group that I spent a lot of time with back in West Virginia, I would see these specific guys where I.

40:05 Speaker 1: Would know they were on point and they were in that state. Yeah you know.

40:08 Speaker 4: Yeah, And I bet you if they if you ask them what are you thinking about? They're like, I'm not thinking about anything right now. They're just they're just freeze a bird.

40:16 Speaker 1: Right, But they are.

40:18 Speaker 3: But they don't realize it because you're you're never not thinking. But you've raised But yeah, you've raised an interesting question though, Yeah, because people will tell you. See something I can't do is you know the types of the types of meditation of course, where you know you're supposed to clear your mind right of all thought and let everything go.

40:39 Speaker 1: Yep, I don't know how. I don't know how to do that, you know what I mean? Yeah, because but I don't.

40:45 Speaker 3: But my theory is though that most people don't know how to do that, because even if you're sitting there thinking, I'm clearing my mind of all thoughts, well, you're having a thought, you're thinking about clearing your mind, you know what I mean. I don't know, so I don't know if that's even real. Now, anyone who does say trans transcendental meditation or anything, we'll tell you that I'm wrong. But I just I don't know that that's real.

41:05 Speaker 4: Because I think I correct me if I'm wrong. But I think you're supposed to not attach yourself to thoughts coming in when you're trying to get into the meditation stay correct.

41:15 Speaker 1: Well, certain types of meditation.

41:16 Speaker 3: Certainly, I what I tell people because for example, when I'm when I'm bringing somebody into a state of hypnosis and I'm giving them these you know I'm telling them. You know, you're very relaxed, and I'm telling them that, you know, you feel like you're floating or whatever it is. You know, everybody's I'll do different things for different people, but I do give them suggestions that you don't have any intrusive thoughts, you don't have any any worries, any cares. Nothing is distracting you, not sounds, not thoughts, nothing, and you're able to just focus on the moment.

41:49 Speaker 3: But I also tell them something I tell them before I even start the session is if, during the course of the session, if your mind starts to go other places, if you lose track of what I'm saying to you and your mind starts to go elsewhere, you start daydreaming or whatever, just go with it. Just let it happen, because it's it's so it's not about, at least the way I do it. And even you know, hypnosis specifically, there's different ways to do it. But I don't necessarily because I don't want the client to think that, you know, if they start to daydream, if they start to go elsewhere, if something else starts to come in, I don't want them to fight that too much because if you start fighting it, well then you're not, then you're not relaxed, right, So I tell them, you know, just kind of go with it, because whatever happens, just go with it.

42:37 Speaker 3: And just know that even if you lose track of what I'm saying to you, your subconscious mind is still going to record all of it. Okay, Yeah, if that makes sense, I hope. I hope that made sense a way I said that. You know, like You've got me thinking about it in a way that I've never quite thought about before. So that's interesting. I appreciate that.

42:58 Speaker 4: Yeah, And you know, like, well, I'm going to I'm gonna maybe sidetrack the conversation.

43:04 Speaker 1: A little bit. Yeah, that's fine, but we have time.

43:06 Speaker 4: What I what I wanted to say was that one of the ways that I, uh, one of the ways that that I was able to recover mentally a lot from a lot of anguish that I brought with me up here, and how I've gotten stable and all that, Yeah, was doing this kind of delivery work that I was. I'm going to go way back in the beginning of this conversation.

43:25 Speaker 1: Yeah, but.

43:27 Speaker 4: I spend so much time on the road alone in between these deliveries because I wasn't I wasn't doing Amazon delivery, doing pharmaceutical delivery, so like you know, four or five stops you know that are sort of close to each other, then doing payroll. So I but I would have these big windows of time where I'm just alone in the car. I could have music on obviously or whatever, but I spend so much time processing old stuff that I hadn't I hadn't really thought about in a long time, and then current stuff that I brought with me that I really needed to deal with.

43:58 Speaker 1: And I if.

44:01 Speaker 4: I didn't have that job that was so incredibly challenging for me in the beginning, and it's still continued to be challenging to me on a daily basis. It was absolutely what it was probably the best professional experience I've ever had because it allowed me to heal. Spending that time alone the best thing that could have happened.

44:20 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's interesting, and that makes sense.

44:27 Speaker 1: Are you Are you comfortable?

44:29 Speaker 3: So it sounds like you're someone who's comfortable with that, with being alone because some people, some people can't be alone, you know.

44:35 Speaker 4: I honestly, prior to being here, I was never comfortable being alone really and that led to a lot of relationship problems that I had just being in and out of relationships because I wasn't you know, I wasn't present, or I would just have drifting eyes.

44:51 Speaker 1: Yeah, you know what I mean. I'm telling you.

44:54 Speaker 4: It's if there's a big piece of advice I could give somebody, is to give if you're dealing with not being able to be alone, force yourself to make give yourself that time. Give yourself a lot of time be alone. Yeah, and you know, take time for yourself, you know, And and heal, heal the wounds within. Yes, And and that's it. And I mean I'm not going to promise that you're going to achieve happiness through that, but you'll definitely have a clearer mind, and you'll be more open to the present, and you'll be more open to what you actually want out of life.

45:26 Speaker 3: Right right, Yeah, absolutely, I think that's uh. I think that's really good advice. So now, how long how long have you been up here?

45:38 Speaker 1: It's a year and it's been almost exactly a year or now not that long?

45:42 Speaker 3: Do you keep in touch with uh people back in West Virginia? Because I know sometimes people when they when they move and they they really kind of turn things around. They want to leave, leave the past, including relationships behind. I mean, do you keep in touch with anybody or have you kind of created some separation there?

45:58 Speaker 1: Well.

45:59 Speaker 4: I try to keep in touch as best I can and I and I and there are a couple of people that that I'm still talking to, probably more now that I'm up here than I did speaking to them when I was there. I've got a friend of mine that lives in Maryland that that that I talked to often, but as far as you know, like ex girlfriends and things like that, not really. And I think it's I think it's important, especially now that I'm in a relationship and I'm in a committed relationship, to turn that page and not not allow myself to to keep the past present super present in my life.

46:42 Speaker 4: That's one way that I've definitely grown through this experience. I definitely was not a very committal person. I wanted to, but I really couldn't. I just didn't have, I guess, the maturity level to do it. But really it was about choices, I think, and you know, moving move into the future, I've just chosen to be the kind of man that I would be proud of and that and and to honor the person that I'm with. Yeah, regardless if it works out or not in the future, right, you know, I believe it will, but say it doesn't.

47:13 Speaker 4: I don't want to have any regrets leaving the relationship that I did something that I definitely could have been preventable. You know, you know, as you know, how do I say that? You know you're going to deal with You're going to deal with attention from the opposite sex, whether you're a man or a woman, and you have to choose where you draw the line in the sand. You don't have to be rude about and say, hey, I have a you know, I'm in a relationship. You don't have to be like that, But just be mature enough and have enough respect for your partner to not not destroy what they're also trying to build with you.

47:49 Speaker 1: That's a good way of putting it. Absolutely.

47:53 Speaker 3: So we're getting a little bit close to the top of the hour, So just a couple of things I want to make sure we we uh we touch on.

47:59 Speaker 1: I mean, are you.

48:00 Speaker 3: What what are you doing now? Is there anything specific that you're doing now to make sure that you remain on this very positive path that you're on.

48:10 Speaker 4: I am I am focusing on a couple of things other than maintaining the employment that I do currently have.

48:20 Speaker 1: I'm doing volunteer work and that's what I was curious about. I want to hear about that.

48:25 Speaker 4: Yeah, and I wasn't sure if I could, if I could say who it is. Oh, absolutely So I do volunteer work and I encourage anybody to come down and support us and what we're doing at Manchester Police Athletics League. I'm one of the coaches on Wednesday for skateboard class. It's it's it's genuinely an excellent experience for for any any ability level of kid that wants to come down and uh, you just come in sign a waivery and you can come in and where there's quite a few of us in there as coaches that can help the little ones or even somebody that's fifteen or sixteen that just wants a safe place to skate indoors.

49:08 Speaker 4: That's super nice. Yeah, Uh, just come on in and support and and and that's one of the things I'm doing.

49:15 Speaker 3: Okay, excellent, Oh that's fantastic.

49:17 Speaker 1: Yeah.

49:18 Speaker 4: And then outside of that, my my dream right now, I don't you can cut me off if you want to with this, but my dream is to is to be in the communications industry here in New Hampshire.

49:33 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah.

49:34 Speaker 4: So that could either be at a television station or at a radio station yep. And so over the next few months, I'm going to try to find the right place to either do internship shadow work, I you know, and I'd like to just get my foot in the door with that. That's what that's honestly what I would like to do moving forward for my life.

49:54 Speaker 3: You've got a good h I'm sure others have told you this too. You've got a good voice for you know, you've got a good deep voice. You know, if you were to do like something in radio or voice over work or anything like that, or a podcast or anything.

50:07 Speaker 1: Uh.

50:07 Speaker 3: I envy your voice. I wish I had. I wish I had a deeper voice. My dad has like a I sound like my dad, but he has a deeper voice than I do. But I think I got stuck with my mother's nose and I think it makes me more nasally, and then i'd like to be it's.

50:21 Speaker 1: Getting deeper as I get older.

50:23 Speaker 3: It's one of the few things better good about getting older, I guess, is my voice is getting deeper.

50:27 Speaker 1: I listened to stuff from ten years ago, and I sound more like this.

50:31 Speaker 3: But uh no, but I but I think I think that's great. And you know, I think, you know, yeah, if I can offer any advice, uh you know, or anything, we you know, we can talk after. But uh no, I think that's a great thing to pursue. And and I think you've got a lot to say that I think can help other people, you know, so so I I really encourage that too, because I think that I think a lot of what you've said here is relatable. I think it's something that actually, you know, homelessness, as as the cost of housing in this country just keeps going up.

51:05 Speaker 3: And and you know, we've seen since you know, post pandemic, rates of homelessness increase everywhere, in some areas more than others. But but I think there's a lot of people out there struggling, and I think you have I think you have a great message. And I think also, you know, not only a great message, but but there's some real substance there in terms of ways to you know, like like skateboarding or or or anything anything physical that helps you in so many ways get out of that mental state that you might be in or you know, or help you to figure out how to solve problems or or or quite literally the getting up when you fall down you know, you know.

51:46 Speaker 4: Well and getting your aggression out too, and that too. Yeah, when you're younger.

51:50 Speaker 3: Absolutely absolutely and doing something positive with all that. So yeah, so I would h I would definitely encourage that. And do you have any just we are we are running short on time, but any any just quick advice for for people who are who are struggling, who are looking for a.

52:08 Speaker 1: Way out, well for a way forward.

52:12 Speaker 4: The best thing to do is, I guess, I guess my best advice is to believe in yourself no matter what situation you're in, no matter how bad things look, they are going to be better on the other side of it. Yeah, get up every day and make just a baby step in the right direction from wherever you're at. Accept help if it's offered, don't just turn it down. Don't be too proud no matter what what your situation is. You know, not just the most destitute of us, but people like me. That was I was still getting up and going to work, but I was living out in my car and no one knew, and some of my friends found out and they're like, okay, you're you're we're going to let you crash on the couch side.

53:03 Speaker 1: And you know it.

53:06 Speaker 4: I I don't have enough time to thank all the people that helped me out back then, but it was because I was accepting their help and I was I was also staying away from from things and people that I knew were going to make things worse. Yeah, and uh, you know, there's so much more that that you and I did not cover about this, and we we we got a little off track on some things. But I really enjoyed this experience. I've never done anything like this before, never been on air. Oh okay, okay, thank you so much for giving me the opportunity.

53:40 Speaker 1: Man. Happy anniversary to yourself.

53:41 Speaker 3: Oh, thank you, Justin, and thank you for joining us, and uh and you know, and thank you to Tone for connecting us. But yeah, I appreciate you being here. This has been very interesting and hopefully it helps somebody too, you know.

53:52 Speaker 4: That's that's that's what I hope. Yeah, just stay positive out there, folks, and you know, be good to each other, help each other.

53:58 Speaker 1: You could.

53:58 Speaker 4: You never know how much of a blessing you can be, Yeah, someone's life. Anybody can be.

54:03 Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely well said, well said, Uh, justin Hunt, thank you so much. And uh if you if you miss any part of today's show, it will be up in just a little bit at wmn hradio dot organ in my website Mattconnorton dot com. And uh, thank you everybody who joined us today. And again, thank you to everybody who else make this possible. It's been been eight years and uh here's.

54:24 Speaker 1: To eight more.

54:25 Speaker 3: And uh we'll leave you with a little bit of this another one of these celebrations songs for for our eight year anniversary. And justin thank you again. And uh, I'm sure we'll do this again in the future. And that's it for me for now. Talk to you all a little bit later, by everybody.

54:39 Speaker 5: Hie as teachers like a little bank you freepost is saying nice bucking le legencity two always loud we covid the storm a revel sap a legend is born from the Santa class crosses the two at least the fire.

55:04 Speaker 6: To bring the turning back flight to shere you'll turn to go down the boat flot cut stop, don't go away.

55:20 Speaker 1: That's Horba.

56:51 Speaker 3: You are listening to W M and H ninety five point.

56:58 Speaker 2: Come in, God, don't get a brief leader, Maxell Goby Dinner